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12

Richard Justice: Elegant Aggie Provocateur

Posted by Scipio Tex on July 24th, 2009 under

I'm just sayin' This is his latest attempt to mail-in on his job wherein he proposes that Texas A&M join Conference USA. How droll. He's like a humid Jonathan Swift. And why should they join Conference USA? Because they suck! And, are also dumb! And quite rural, you see. Oh he got you good, Aggies! Justice, if you don't know
27

Pryor Offense: The Ohi-O

Posted by Scipio Tex on January 3rd, 2009 under Football

This is the companion piece to my Ohio State Defensive Preview. Ohio State Offense Ohi-O on the hot seat Ohio State's offense is three yards and a cloud of musk. It's a playful body spray that smells like 3rd and 4; a cologne called Bleak Industrial Town that offers a hint of freshly cut grass, burning ottomans, and lugnuts. The numbers - 28.2 ppg and 339 yards
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Tress Gets His Q Package On

Posted by Scipio Tex on December 28th, 2008 under Football

Inspired by our abortive effort in utilizing the McCoy/Chiles Q package (which Barking Carnival Readers dubbed The Cluster Flux) word out of Ohio is that we may see Todd Boeckman on the field at the same time as Terrelle Pryor. Think of the kinetic energy that will crackle when the 240 pound Boeckman and his 4.95 40 takes the field next to Pryor! The Ohio State blogworld is quite excited at the
10

The Impact Of 6 Weeks Off

Posted by Scipio Tex on December 28th, 2008 under Football

When Texas plays Ohio St in La Fiesta, the Horns will have had 40 days rest since their 49-9 dismemberment of Texas A&M; Ohio St will have had 45 since administering a 42-7 mercy killing to Michigan. Injuries and aches heal, skills and timing grow a fine coating of rust, and the prideless (see Texas '00 Cotton Bowl against Arkansas; Texas '92 Cotton Bowl against Miami, '06 Ohio St against Florida) will find
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Prophylaxis For Laurinaitis: The Ohio State D

Posted by Scipio Tex on December 25th, 2008 under Football

Bowl Test We're playing Ohio State in La Fiesta and that can only mean: a). a clash of traditional powers b). a plethora of fat pasty drunks with goatees endlessly spelling the name of their state in Scottsdale bars c). Ohio State men doing that as well d). a lengthy series of erroneous Terrelle-Pryor-Vince Young comparison during the telecast e). pre-game stories focused on Jordan Shipley and Colt McCoy's unconsummated heterosexual love affair f). all of the above In observation
27

Graham Harrell Gets His Cosby On

Posted by Scipio Tex on December 11th, 2008 under Football

h/t to Deadspin There was a brief time period between 1988-1993 when sweaters like these were perfectly appropriate attire, even outside of the holiday season. Malcolm Jamal Warner and the older Cosby daughter that was white used to wear them a lot. To this day, the only people that can remotely pull off this look are fatherly 54 year old black men eager to be confided in.