Barking Carnival

Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

Sorry, I just can't pass this one up. If you're unfamiliar with the term, schadenfreude is an old German word which roughly translates as 'Oklahoma is a vortex of suck, has always been a vortex of suck, is so currently as we speak, and shall remain so forever and ever until the sun blows up, at which point it will continue to suck in another dimension that currently only exists in the minds of physicists

From a recent interview in the Port Arthur News, Jamaal Charles is just one pound away from contending for a starter's role in Kansas City. Sort of like how water turns into steam at 212 degrees but not 211? The coaches want one more pound out of the Port Arthur speedster so he can presumably evaporate in the backfield and run untouched into the endzone: "They want me

For Longhorn fan he's the gift that keeps on giving. And if you're a crimson and cream flunky, Rhett's the scarlet letter serving as a constant reminder of OU's history of illegal inducements, transgressions, and general asshattery that is the hallmark of Sooner nation. If the New York football Giants fitted Bomar's helmet with a mobile home logo it would be less embarassing to this outlaw program than interviews like these. Allow me

I've seen about a dozen baseball games this year, most recently two games of the OU series sweep this weekend. It looks like Texas is finally becoming the team everyone expected them to be the last two years. Hitting Texas has been a bunch of slap hitting faggots for most of the season, but they finally turned it around about three weeks ago. Brandon Belt is the team's best hitter, and he is a fantastic opposite

Texas Tech! Norman, Oklahoma! Does anyone have any cyanide!?

Mike Stoops! What are you doing here? Brent!!! Ummm, nuffim. Nuffim, eh? Why are you sitting at my desk? Watching A&M film. Eating my Red Vines I love football! ??? !!! ...

Do you remember when we struggled mightily when we got to Goal to Go situations a few years back? Well, no longer. In 8 games this year, Texas has had 24 FIRST AND GOAL situations (3 per game). We have scored 23 touchdowns (16 rushing and 7 passing) in 44 plays. That is an amazing 96% scoring percentage on less than 2 plays per trip. We are getting there and punching it

"Stats are for losers," Muschamp said. "I like winning games." While I tend to agree with Muschamp on almost everything (like the the sun rising in the West and that the earth is flat), I do take exception with the stats part. I, too, like to win games. I like digging into the stats – see the college fantasy football obsession or playing rotisserie baseball when it required the Monday USA Today sports

I am currently 8-4 ATS. This is solid work, explicable by basic probability theory. The law of large numbers will catch up with me soon and I'll be unmasked for the fraud I am. Until then, let's live the lie together, shall we? Kansas @ Oklahoma (-19.5) Will Bob Stoops allow a post-Texas hangover? Will he link Venables' headset to a random ham radio frequency and tell his players to disregard his

I said this: