Barking Carnival

When Gene Chizik coached our defense, they normally looked a lot like they did last night. I didn’t hate the guy in ways that were unhealthy, but Scipio and Chris Applewhite certainly did.

Perhaps a fitting sign of where things stand in Ames, Iowa with football season just two weeks away is the cover story at cyclonereport.com which features a recent commitment by some dude named Melvin Ejim – to the basketball team. CloneChronicles.com is all over this breaking story as well. In fact, every news outlet in Ames is devoting its full attention so they don't have to talk about the sad state of

Former Texas defensive coordinator that is. ESPN, the same network that reported Auburn hired current Texas DC Will Muschamp two days ago, now says Auburn has hired Iowa State coach Gene Chizik as its next head coach. What could go wrong? The Cyclones went winless in Big 12 play this season, and their win total has dipped in each of the past three seasons. Last week, Chizik stripped offensive coordinator Robert McFarland and defensive coordinator Wayne

This is the segment in which a cattle gun is placed against my head by Anton Chigurh and I'm told to call it. I have to pick every game, even the ones I feel aren't subject for righteous divination. I'm much better at picking winners than handicapping, but Anton has no pity. The lines this week suck so flipping a coin is probably my best bet, but nonetheless....

Kirby Freeman's career at Baylor came to an end last night after one quarter of football. Freshman Robert Griffin is the present and future of Baylor football. Unfortunately, his immediate future is only going to lead to a single win over Northwestern State. Wait 'till next year, Baylor. Left tackle Jason Smith is a player though. Baylor's biggest problem is their defense. An Art Briles coached team struggle on defense? No way! They played a

As the college season makes the turn for the home stretch, it is clearly time to start talking about who gets whacked -- particularly given this weekend's Battle of the Buyouts in Lincoln. This year's coaching carousel seems destined to be as bloody as the last 6 episodes of the Sopranos.

Yeah, I'll fucking whack you

Michigan – They used to say, “You can’t spell Lloyd Carr without 2 L’s” and last

Our opening offensive play - a 58 yard broken play McCoy TD pass to Jordan Shipley - told us all we needed to know about the eventual outcome of the game, the quality of Iowa St, the bizarre consistency of a Gene Chizik defense, the current state of our offense, and the unyielding inanity of Dave Lapham. I'm not sure what was more brutal: Dave Lapham or the crowd shots of Iowa State's fat

How exciting! Current weather forecast for Ames says 53 degrees and raining. Current football forecast for Iowa State says 85 players and sucking. Corn fed chicks. Too bad you can't make meth out of corn. Random shot of some swans walking down a sidewalk. The Ames Board of Tourism wants you to believe it's just like Paris. Iowa State receives. Bret Meyer was raised by white parents. You'll understand when you watch him try to make plays off schedule. Scott

In the Greatest game of all time (that week), the Greatest team in college football history (USC) went up against the Greatest player in college football history (Vince Young) and the Greatest player won in dramatic fashion. I'm a firm believer that without Vince, that would have been a terribly humiliating loss for Texas (pre-supposing that Texas would ever have arrived at the game without Vince, which I find silly to consider). But I did

Well, I'm 9-8-1 overall but 3-0 on double unit plays for a decent +4 units for the year. It's been a below average run, but I'm still making money. The good news is that I really, really like this week's card. I like it more than Chooky likes frosted tipped boy bands, but not nearly as much as HenryJames likes the volleyball scene in Top Gun. So my feelings about

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2009 Iowa State Football Preview: State of the Union

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Your Big 12 Football Primer, Friend-o

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Liveblogging Texas vs Iowa State

The good old days–January, 2006

Bash Your Bookie Bets: Week 4

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