Barking Carnival

Man, we can't even excel at sucking. That honor, according to Forbes, goes to Atlanta, though it looks increasingly like Seattle will be passing them in the next couple of months. With the Rockets about to succumb to the McGrady phenomenon once again, and the Astros winding up for a truly hideous summer, we might be able to crack the top 5. The Texans' slow improvement is a troubling long-term trend, however.

In these times FRAUGHT with Peril and CONFUSION, it is imperative for a Free and Principled people to consider with all SOBRIETY the following troubling circumstances which were RAISED by the penultimate episode of the tele-visual gazette of John Adams: Will President Adams finally find peace and happiness amidst family at his farm, Peacefield? Can any creature in Heaven or on Earth stand in the way of Alexander Hamilton's thirst for power and fab military regalia? Will President

For the first time since the writer's strike began, we finally have all new episodes of NBC's Thursday comedy block tonight. It feels like years have passed since the 7-9 period had fresh content from My Name is Earl, 30 Rock, The Office and Scrubs. I've missed The Office the most. The last episode was in November - it was the first show to go dark when the picketing began. When we last saw him, Michael

OK, I've finally gotten over my depression/irritation over our loss to Memphis State in the Elite 8. So let's talk about hot cyborg chicks! By your command... Tonight is the debut of the first half of the final season of Battlestar Galactica. With The Wire getting sent to the rowhouses, BSG is now the best drama on television. Given the ravages of the writers' strike, that might sound like damning with faint praise, but

BRING IT! First off, some thoughts on the Longhorns' win... My friend English Mark and I went to Baker Street Pub near Willowbrook Mall to watch the game. Actually, I went for the game, English Mark went for the Guiness and Crown & Coke. The bartendress there liked to dance around, like, a lot. This was pleasing to us. At the 12:18 point of the game, English Mark tore his attention from the bartendress'

Just as in the first round, Day 2 offered the more compelling contests. In the Longhorns' case, their contest was vastly more compelling than it should have been. For whatever reason, Texas took its foot off the pedal at about the 8-minute mark after playing some outstanding basketball. You do that against a 15 seed, and you wind up with a 20 point win. You do that against a 7 seed, and you have to hold

Happy Easter everyone. I may be in a minority around here on this, but last night, I actually said "Poor Aggies" and didn't mean it derisively. They played a tough game, and if they had any offense to speak of, they'd have won that game pretty easily. No doubt the Ags' defense played a part, but UCLA looked kind of moribund. I'd say the Bruins need to pick it up, but their next game will be

(Apologies to TripsRight for any stepping on of toes I do here.) The majors performed pretty much as expected. On the high end: The Big East was a last-second OT jump shot away from going a smooth 8-0. At the other end is the Pac-10, which split its six games. The Big 12 came in at a healthy 5-1. In hindsight, Baylor shouldn't have been invited - they played Purdue about the same as they

A breakdown of this year's tournament mascots. Humans (21 total) Ancient Peoples Saint Mary's Gaels Southern Cal Trojans Michigan State Spartans Portland State Vikings Ethnic Stereotypes Notre Dame Fighting Irish Thieves, Malcontents, Rednecks, Scoundrels Seeking Their Last Refuges Texas A&M Aggies Indiana Hoosiers Mountaineers Mount St. Mary's West Virginia UNLV Runnin' Rebels North Carolina Tarheels Tennessee Volunteers Austin Peay Governors Texas-Arlington Mavericks George Mason

A trip 'round the Internets for St. Patrick's Day/Bracket Recovery Day Congrats to the Lady Longhorns: #8 seed in Greensboro. They play Minnesota in the first round and if they win, all they have to then is beat the #1 overall seed, some team called UConn or something. A Longhorn makes a pre-all Tournament team. It's not who you think. Or the reason you think. Some people think Virginia Tech got robbed by the selection committee.

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Hey Houston – We’re #6!

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