Barking Carnival

I generally consider myself a connoisseur of highbrow intellectual pursuits. My bookshelves are stocked with great works of philosophy, science and literature, many of which I have flipped through. I subscribe to The Atlantic Monthly, listen to NPR and linger in coffeehouses. Barking Carnival is bookmarked on my copy of Firefox, which I prefer to the proletarian Internet Explorer. I read JUGGS for the articles (which are about juggs). But despite

It's us versus the Great Socialized Medicine Menace to our north. The good guys are down 2-1, within striking distance. Can we come back, or are the men destined to repeat the women's disappointing silver finish?

Here's a little pop culture crap to take our minds off of the Great Roundball Abortion of 2010.

For those who enjoy the hit reality series COPS, but wish it featured less action and fatter cops, A&E presents the genius of Steven Seagal: Lawman (Wed. 10/9C).

Wow. Fate sure swooped in and pulled the rug out from under Texas last night.

I don't have the time to adorn this nerd porn with flowery prose. So, I'll just jump right in... I've compared the Texas offense/defense versus the Alabama offense/defense in terms of differential yards per play gained/allowed compared to that of their opponents. In summary, what I've found is the following: Defense: On average, Texas and Alabama are defensive equals. Texas holds its opponents to -31.75% below their average YPP; Alabama holds its opponents to

Texas is currently #1 in total defense. That's amazing in its own right. What's even more impressive is the Horns' abject utter dominance in yards per play allowed. Texas is #1 on that measure as well, yielding only 3.53 YPPA. Alabama is second-best at 3.89 YPPA. The difference between #1 Texas and #2 Alabama (0.46 YPPA) is roughly equal to the difference between #2 Bama and #10 Clemson

Or so says Colin Cowherd, just 5 minutes ago. He said it twice, which means he actually believes this absurd shit to be true. Cowherd's rationale? Both Tebow and Young would rather run than throw, and neither is a good passer.

Okay, it's Friday and the Longhorns have a game tomorrow against Missouri. So I feel a little behind the times posting yet another piece on our offense's struggles against Oklahoma. I spent the last few days following our depressing win preparing for and defending a soul-crushing deposition. So I've had a shitty week. Please indulge my tardy addition to the board. What do I have to add to the brilliant

I've been pretty vocal about my pessimistic outlook on tomorrow's game. You see, the words "Greg" and "Davis," placed together in order, are my kryptonite. Usually cocksure and brash, the mere mention of those two cursed words causes my knees to buckle. I break out in cold sweats. My breath becomes short and strained. If I have an erection, it wilts. Since 2004, no one has ever dared utter

« Older Posts

Barking Carnival

Author Archive for brickhorn

Review: Hot Tub Time Machine

US vs. Canada 3rd Period Open Thread

The Nutless Husband’s Guide to Reality TV

Karate Cop

Hey Fate – F*ck you!

MNC – Some Objective Comparisons

Texas Longhorns Defense: YPPA Dominance

Tim Tebow = Vince Young

Piling On

A Reason for Optimism

Follow Us