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A Wake Before The Funeral

Posted by Scipio Tex on March 14th, 2010 under Basketball

What happens when a stoppable force meets a movable object?

We’ll find out on March 18th. Meet Wake Forest.

This game will be watching drunks trying to brawl. Neither belligerent will land a punch, and it will be viewed by both fanbases with equal measures of horror, embarassment, and amusement. You’ll know the victor by whoever manages to not contract hepatitis. It’s like being the producer of Bum Fights. That this game is being played in New Orleans is no coincidence.

Wake Forest (19-10, 9-7 in ACC) has lost 5 of their last 6 games, none of those five losses against ranked teams. Their last game was an uninspired 83-62 quit job against an awful and injured Miami team in the ACC tournament. If there’s any team in the country in as bad a funk as Texas, it may be the Demon Deacons. They’re not road warriors either – they sport a 6-8 record neutral/road while they’re 13-2 in Tobacco country.

My personal theory is that their players take advantage of North Carolina’s liberal public smoking policy by smoking Winstons during the game and the nicotine fuels their defensive energy. And they jones on the road. I will relent on this viewpoint if I can walk into a convenience store there and not see a woman with a four inch ash on her cig stuck in the side of her mouth while she rings up my Mello Yello and Mike & Ikes, guaranteeing that I smell the rest of the day like Sean Penn’s ashtray.

Matching us together demonstrates the perverse sense of humor of the tournament committee. Throw two drowning men in a tank and see who can dunk the other until such time as you can grip the other corpse like a floatie and begin paddling to shore. Then Kentucky runs you over with a powerboat.

So, some Wake Takes:

Wake Forest can’t shoot.

They’re shooting 43.8% from the field, and an execrable 31.3% from the 3 point line. They have one player shooting over 50% from the field on the entire team. They’re not as horrendous as Texas on the FT line, but at 66% they’re not appearing on any Rick Barry instructional videos.

Wake doesn’t take great care of the ball. 15.2 turnovers per game isn’t getting it done.

Ken Pomeroy has his own system rating offensive and defensive efficiency. Texas is ranked 17th in PYTHAG winning percentage; Wake Forest is 50th. PYTHAG winning percentage is either an aggregation demonstrating your total team quality or it’s a percentage expressing how often your team could beat Pythagoras at an And 1 tournament. Obviously, I don’t need to point out that our rankings are skewed by the fact that we were a basketball team for half of the year and then spent the second half focusing on curling.

Here’s a Peter Bean Pomeroy breakdown.

In any event, your takeway is that Wake sucks it. As hard as we do, you ask? I don’t know. That’s why we have these clashes of Titans.

Wake’s best player is freshman Al-Farouq Aminu, Peace Be Unto Him. He’s a long athletic forward who gets you a double-double every night and has an uncanny ability to identify the direction of Mecca in any arena. He can handle, can nail a 15 footer, he’s 6-9 210 with a 7 footers wingspan, and he uses his agility and length to turn you over on defense (44 blocks, 43 steals in 29 games). We have no one that can remotely match up with him. See Quincy Acy.

Call him Ishmael. Ishmael Smith. He’s the senior PG and he’s Wake’s 2nd leading scorer (13.3ppg) behind Aminu, Peace Be Upon Him. He’s a defender and he creates (6.0 apg). Hopefully, he has a deep fear of wizened garden gnomes. Travelocity, holla.

They have a 3 point specialist freshman Ari Stewart who comes off of the bench, averaging double figures. Despite being 6-7, he has 7 assists on the entire year and he shoots less than a free throw a game. Basically, he camps on the 3 point line and screams “Man, fuck dis shit” if he doesn’t get fed. How much do you want to bet that whoever has him will attempt to double the post because we’re the dumbest motherscratchers who have ever stepped on a basketball court? His stats show that he wilted in ACC play, but we’re generally good for what ails you.

They have a 7 footer named Chas. Ha ha ha ha!

The rest of the team, I can’t comment on authoritatively as I’ve seen Wake play exactly twice. It’s basically a bunch of dudes that can’t shoot at all and can defend, more or less. If that’s a gross over-generalization, please weigh in.

My guess?

If Wake guards us relentlessly, we lose. They need to extend, pressure, trap, press and generally mess with our world on ever possession with every two bit pressure tactic imaginable – even if they give up some easy baskets early. If they do that, turnovers will feed their offense, and our emotional delicacy will kick in such that they can get the win.

They have a senior point guard, a super-athletic forward, maybe a shooter, and a good number of bodies that they can throw at us defensively. That’s enough to beat us.

However, this Wake team is playing miserably. And coaches are famous for coming into the tournament and deciding that they’re going to “just play basketball” so as not to over-complicate their team’s mental game. That’s a bad approach for us. Playing us straight up makes no sense.

I think I like us to win, as hilarious as that reads.

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32 Responses

  1. Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em. I’d like us to get the win. I think.

  2. [...] of one elite ballhandler much less two. Wall and Bledsoe should have their way with Texas if the Longhorns sneak past a weak Wake squad who doesn’t belong in the tournament [...]

  3. I think we have a 60% shot at winning this one, and about .0000000001% chance of beating Kentucky.

  4. I must have missed the Travelocity joke.

    We did get lucky on our 9 seed draw, could have been much worse.

    I still won’t be expecting a Texas win. McFarland is a lot like Brian Davis, ugly and unathletic but will outplay Dexter and foul him out.

  5. [...] Scipio did a great job on introducing us to our ACC counterpart and robbing me of an easy morning column. A great read though, it sounds [...]

  6. Rick Barnes.

  7. milksteak said:

    March 15th, 2010 at 5:45 am

    Is Dexter fouling out still considered a bad thing? Or is it more of a “at least he isn’t struggling as much as…” sort of thing.

  8. damn Newy, your quick on the trigger lately.

    FRB

  9. magnusbleuveigner said:

    March 15th, 2010 at 6:13 am

    I love Newy and Jinx racing to every basketball article.

    That youtube highlight reminded me of my favorite fundamentalist dunker.

    If, IF, we can stop Randloph Childress, we have a chance.

  10. Wow – way to go Damion:

    http://collegesportsblog.dallasnews.com/archives/2010/03/texas-longhorns-forward-no-team-in-the-c.html

    “I don’t think there’s a team in the country that will want to play Texas,” senior forward Damion James told ESPN’s Andy Katz before Selection Sunday. “We’re so talented. At one point, we were the best team in the country. We lost our focus and enthusiasm and passion, and we have to get that back.

  11. Hey Damion, you also lost the Turkish Prison. No smack down defense for you now.

  12. Bob in Houston said:

    March 15th, 2010 at 6:30 am

    FWIW, on ESPN’s “The Experts” last night, where has-beens and never-wases talked basketball for three hours — it actually was pretty good talk — the eight-member panel went 7-1 for Texas, with Len Elmore holding out for Wake. I admit to having been surprised.

    At least it’s the late game.

  13. so basically it’s scrappy versus crappy?

  14. Patrick Bateman said:

    March 15th, 2010 at 7:47 am

    If there’s one team playing crappier than us, this is it. Good post and rundown, Scip.

    If Dex can win the inside battle with McFarland then we should win. If not, then we’ll need AB or JH to be insanely hot.

  15. VirginiaLonghorn said:

    March 15th, 2010 at 8:13 am

    Would you prefer a quiet wake or the lead story in every Sunday sports page in America praising Kentucky for destroying our overrated bunch? Personally, I’ve had enough national notoriety for this season.

  16. If given the choice, I’d rather lose to Wake by somewhere around 10 points in a game that no one cares about instead of getting run out of the gym by Kentucky.

  17. 3_from_the_corner said:

    March 15th, 2010 at 8:51 am

    As crazy as it sounds, I think we’re sitting as pretty as we could be given how things played out this season. I mean, if we had to play a #1 in the second round which would you pick. I’d either pick Kentucky or Duke. I think we’d stand a better chance against Kentucky. Dukes disciplined style would absolutely fillet us – Duke has definitely gotten better since they beat us in last year’s tourney. I’d don’t think I’d say the same for us.

    Look, there’s no Kansas in our bracket (State, or otherwise), there’s no Baylor in our bracket (THANK GOD! I couldn’t handle a 4th this season), there’s no Syracuse (we’d probably have more turnovers than points against them), and no Duke (please not another Duke game!!!). Things could be a lot worse.

    The case can be made that this is the best region for us. I think it’s the region of misfit and mostly untested teams. Kentucky good, but how good. West Virginia some seriously lucky shots got you a #2, New Mexico (come on, man!), a few others, and us. There must be a longhorn with powerful influence over the committee. Pictures or something…

    We should beat Wake. They suck. Shouldn’t even be in the tourney. That said, they’ll probably house us and end up in the Elite 8 somehow. We are, in fact, the cure for what ails ya.

    Funny thing, though…If we beat wake, clearly we’ll get Kentucky. Kentucky, they’ve got a couple of freshman, too, don’t they? How are they doing this year??? Motivation is a powerful force this time of year. If, IF, we could somehow manage to beat Kentucky, who else in this region makes you shutter? I don’t think anybody. WVU can’t score. good d, but they can’t score. I’d take my chances against them. I saw them use us several of their ‘lives’ over the weekend in the Big East tourney. ‘Sconson doesn’t scare me. Missouri does, but they’d have to get by that WVU squad to get to us.

    I’m just saying that ONE good game could make a world of difference now. Just one. Boy would I like to see us play one good game, again, this season. For all the pieces to come together, just like they were earlier in the season. Oh, and while I’m living in La-La Land, I’ll take that good game against Kentucky, please.

    Hope springs eternal in College Athletics.

  18. [...] drops to an 8. Bring body armor if you venture over to Barking Carnival tonight. It’s going to be [...]

  19. “I mean, if we had to play a #1 in the second round which would you pick.”

    Syracuse. Or Duke. And we can’t play Kansas in the second round.

  20. Deacon Blues said:

    March 15th, 2010 at 9:21 am

    TEXAS COASTS TO WIN
    Our coach is 0-4 in the postseason, having lost all of them by 10+ points despite the Deacs being the higher seed in each game. Yes, it’s incredible and it’s true.

    OR

    MATCHUP WITH FELLOW HEAD CASE AND SAINTS’ GOLD & BLACK MAGIC COUNTERACTS GAUDIO EFFECT
    But even then we’d need the aforementioned frosh A. Stewart to hit at least 4 treys and Ish Smith, Aminu and LD Williams to not shoot from outside at all to move on to the second round.

  21. Aminu’s a soph and likely lottery pick. Way better than Quincy “90% shooting on 10 dunks a game” Acy.

  22. One fear is if we actually beat Wake, I can only imagine Hamilton thinking, “if I can have an explosive game against Kentucky, I just might be able to get out of this jail and go to the NBA”….J’Covan might join him (if given playing time) generating a new low in the J’ chucking, motionless, street-ball offensive scheme we run.

    No time to improve our help (which is nonexistent) on defense.

  23. I HAVE JOCK ITCH said:

    March 15th, 2010 at 10:45 am

    You people realize that Rick Barnes is Texas coach right?They have absolutely no chance of winning. He plays man to man when he needs to play zone ; plays street ball on offense; the players just stand in one spot for 30 seconds and watch ppl dribble with no ball movement. They have no chance of winning. Like Blake said Aminu is a lottery pick he’s twice the player Acy is and they made him look like an first team all conference player.

  24. Texas has been the most consistent team in the Big 12. Outside of a terrible game against Oklahoma and a great game against Nebraska, we’ve played about the same, game in and game out. We’re consistently bad away from home, and mediocre against tournament-quality teams (KU, KSU, Baylor). Guess what? There are no home games in the NCAA and all of our opponents are tournament quality.

    We’re fortunate to have gotten this matchup against Wake, even though a win is anything but guaranteed. But a win against Kentucky? What team have some of you guys been watching for the past 3 months? No way.

  25. I HAVE JOCK ITCH said:

    March 15th, 2010 at 10:56 am

    Why are ppl so high on J’covan Brown?? I can understand the fasination with Hamilton; he is 6’7″ can handling the ball, nice range and can rebound but; Brown is a turnover machine and if I said he was an liability on defense that would be an understatement Brown is a 26 percent 3 point shooter he only shooting 35 percent,overall for the season those are horrible numbers he should be on the bench he needs to tighten up his jump shot its awful. He’s basically Justin Mason with confidence without the defense the only difference is he’s willing to shot but the results are still the same he’s gonna miss the majority of his shots.

  26. I have to agree with 3_from_the_corner.

    I’ve absolutely hated the way we’ve looked against zone defenses. We don’t have anyone that can just kill it from the outside (Hamilton maybe, but he’s on the bench more often than not). Kentucky’s offensive efficiency is about on par with ours, so it could turn into a defensive struggle. Which is good because we’ve completely forgotten why we started 17-0.

    Remember back when we would come at teams in waves and we’d push the ball up the court? Yeah, that up-tempo high scoring basketball team died as soon as we started conference play. I guess it was the level of competition? Our best wins of the season are against 3-seeded Pitt, 5-seeded MSU, and 5-seeded A&M… All at home.

    2 months later, we’re letting opponents dictate the tempo (EVERY GAME), we’re not making anybody looked tired late in the game and even our defense is struggling because we’ve got no confidence anymore.

    If I were Rick, I would tell them to go have fun and quit thinking so much. What does he have to lose? Everyone is expecting a quick exit anyway.

  27. [...] Texas has any shot of beating Wake Forest and busting brackets across the land with a win over Kentucky, it needs to channel the powers of [...]

  28. Chas MacFarland is the Rick Lambier of the ACC. He’s dirtier than a Slavic water polo player (check his fingers after the game), and a shot talker extraordinaire. Luckily, he sucks out loud as well.

  29. magnusbleuveigner said:

    March 16th, 2010 at 5:16 am

    I think he’s more of a Bill Mahorn.

  30. When your stick is bigger then the carrot.

    Now that was a title to draw your attention for you prevs that troll this site.

    In all sports its a bragging point to have a bigger stick then your rival, or at least think its bigger then most.
    That is one motivation tool of many players use to participate and improve their skill in sports
    (lets say Basketball).
    Most Basketball players have many motives rather then one single reason.

    Maybe he wanted to play like and with the big kids when he was little, maybe to make the Varsity and be around the cheerleaders in High School and get laid.
    That may have been a personal issue. Being motivated to earn the big bucks in the NBA. To make their parents proud.
    Sometimes the motives reinforce each other, but at other times they can cause internal conflicts. These are just a few of many examples that motivate D1 players.
    You can add what motivates you here if you wish.

    Coaches working with groups of athletes with diverse cultures, motives and goals must create a motivational climate.
    A motivational climate that reinforces all the reasons or at least as many as possible. This is not easy to do.
    As well as being flexible, you will need to grasp some of the fundamental principles of motivation and knowledge and how to apply them.

    Many here at BC believe that motivation is a fixed personality trait, that some of our players are lazy,have no basketball IQ or aren’t a motivated athlete. In fact, though, motivation Is impacted by the motivational climate created by the coach and staff. This climate impacts the athletes on the team.
    That climate get the crazies in the cheap seats to roar in anger and frustration. People drink scotch for breakfast or Patron for brunch. We react badly to UFO quotes by our beleaguered coach and the effort guy Damo. This season will be long remembered and people
    will cry in their beer and on the breast of any stripper they can afford. This may be the season we remember that caused a very good coach to reevaluate his staff and take a look in the mirror. We will remember also that Trips changed his name to Kevy without a fight. Ipowers will also be remembered as long as Williams comes out next season on fire and if IPEE is released to fight some more. I am being sentimental and misty. Of course I kid. Not to much.

    A coach that is continually shouting instructions and berating players for mistakes is creating a motivational climate of fear and intimidation, in which players became afraid to make mistakes. Feedback will usually focus on what has gone wrong and praise is rarely offered. Here is a coach determined to remain in control and achieving his aims by intimidation.
    The “Texas” way to play fearfully and hesitant unable to shoot free throws or to make
    layups. The players learn and try to avoid punishment and/or humiliation by trying to play exactly as the coach requires.This can often lead to performance decrements as athletes focus on the consequences of losing or making mistakes rather than on what needs to be done to be successful. This is a counterproductive tactic which has been linked to poorer performances. It can lead to discouragement, resulting in loss of motivation.

    When recruiting playes you really need to know how that player reacts to negative coaching. Some players will react well and their skills sets develope and impact their play, see Coach Knight, others will regress and and not acheive see this team. We have players that have reacted well to Coach Barnes negative approach to mistakes, see Ivy,Klozts,ect..

    There are lots of coaches, Basketball,Football,Soccer, Life, Management,Fathers and Mothers and the positives ones usually are flexable, have a clear expectation of what you are trying to achieve and have knowledge about people, siblings, players, workers etc. but coaching always involve criticism or punishment as well as praise.They usually lean heavy on a positive approach in order to motivate players to perform at their best.

    As they are calling my flight again I hope that we make a run to the FF but no matter how much Patron I partake of, Patron is whispering in my ear, like a lustful El Paso women biting my ear and saying :
    “Dont be afraid move a little bit closer as Jose dives accross the table with the lights flashing along the blade” .
    We are heading into a knife fight with only our Johnson in our hand.

  31. hornin hong kong said:

    March 17th, 2010 at 5:30 pm

    what will be the kentucky line? Ive been making a fortune taking our opponents in a cold blooded attempt to assuage my sadness over the season results.

    Anything less than 9 an I’m on UK

  32. [...] close to a pick but yet it’s going up, probably can grab Wake at 6 eventually.  Scipio had a good preview of Wake on BC if you want to check it [...]

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