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Texas Football: Mormons and Miners added to the schedule

Posted by Vasherized on January 26th, 2010 under Football

I found out the news on a stone tablet under an oak tree near Belmont.

BYU is coming to DKR in 2011 in the second week of the season and the jackhammering mountain choads of UTEP will make the trip to Austin on the same week in 2012.

Texas officials will be sectioning off a portion of the upper deck of I-35 for UTEP fans that want to enjoy the game in a more private setting.

The BYU addition is significant as it will give Texas a marquise good-win to shut up mouthbreathing ESPN analysts looking to find a flaw in our body of work after going undefeated in 2011. Back-to-back.

Here are the future schedules.

And here’s an awesome book about Mormons.

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40 Responses

  1. Bill Bixby said:

    January 26th, 2010 at 5:09 pm

    I don’t think we have fared as well vs the morons as we have against the minors.

  2. Vasherized said:

    January 26th, 2010 at 5:09 pm

    I’m going to go ahead and leave that typo, Bill.

  3. Bill Henrickson said:

    January 26th, 2010 at 5:20 pm

    “Texas officials will be sectioning off a portion of the upper deck of I-35 for UTEP fans that want to enjoy the game in a more private setting.”

    The things you’ll do for the filthy UTEP Miner fan, but won’t do for misunderstood followers of Joseph Smith. What the heck! I was wanting to take Margene up on the Handjob Hill replica! The discrimination against my people knows no bounds..

  4. Shirtonbackwards said:

    January 26th, 2010 at 5:29 pm

    Belmont clearly has its eye on rather expensive season ticket package in 2011

    Home games
    RICE
    BYU
    UCF
    NEBRASKA
    KANSAS STATE
    TEXAS TECH

    A Mountain West Team not named TCU…I like it.

  5. Newy25 said:

    January 26th, 2010 at 6:18 pm

    “I found out the news on a stone tablet under an oak tree near Belmont.”

    They were brass plates you anti-Zionist ass hat.

  6. Texas Wahoo said:

    January 26th, 2010 at 6:20 pm

    “A Mountain West Team not named TCU…I like it.”

    We’re playing Wyoming again this year!

  7. coloradoag said:

    January 26th, 2010 at 6:52 pm

    Krakauer pens a cryptic, excellent read. You won’t view Mormons the same way. Sorry, BYU.

  8. Magnificent Bastard said:

    January 26th, 2010 at 6:56 pm

    Of course, BYU and Tech will swap places for some fucked up reason yet to be fathomed.

  9. Magnificent Bastard said:

    January 26th, 2010 at 6:59 pm

    And I see the Big 12 has been left off the 2016 schedule. Wink wink. Nudge nudge. Say no more.

  10. NateHeupel said:

    January 26th, 2010 at 7:25 pm

    First of all, I was really hoping to see a picture of the family from Big Love in here somewhere. That seemed like the most logical place to go for me.

    That said, one of the great things about Mormon women is that they will do terrible and fantastic things for you. The obvious drawback is their weepy freakout when you inform them you don’t really love them. Then they start whining about going to Hell and such, and you end up having to dive out the window to your car.

    Not that I have any experience with this on a first hand basis.

  11. magnusbleuveigner said:

    January 26th, 2010 at 7:30 pm

    “Here comes Joseph Smith, dum da dum dum dum…” Way more hilarious than it’s better known sibling, the Scientology episode.

  12. Vasherized said:

    January 26th, 2010 at 7:38 pm

    Newy,

    Seeing that Joseph Smith’s cardinal mistake was encouraging his followers to receive and act on their own revelations from God, if I told you that god revealed the news to me on stone tablets then you’d have to just accept it.

    Tough shit, cracka.

  13. nordberg said:

    January 26th, 2010 at 8:27 pm

    Shouldn’t BYU be above a 1 and done series? Or is there a return trip down the road.

  14. RRR said:

    January 26th, 2010 at 8:44 pm

    Speaking of ass hats, I think Joseph Smith dictated the Book of Mormon looking into his hat.

    Or was that when he was a treasure hunter?

  15. ACLU said:

    January 26th, 2010 at 9:00 pm

    I find this article’s title and the comments posted here to be highly offensive to a group that has been and continues to be a vital part of our society.

    They are called Miner Americans! Let see you mine your own coal.

  16. Vasherized said:

    January 26th, 2010 at 9:02 pm

    No return trip nordberg. Should have been a home and away if only to see how many wives and kids Trips came home with.

  17. Kriess said:

    January 26th, 2010 at 9:34 pm

    “The BYU addition is significant as it will give Texas a marquise good-win to shut up mouth-breathing ESPN analysts looking to find a flaw in our body of work after going undefeated in 2011. Back-to-back.”

    Hey, don’t we have a guy on our teamed named…Oh, never-mind. I see what you did there.

  18. Barking Carnival — Blog — Counting down till spring practice... said:

    January 27th, 2010 at 6:54 am

    [...] points out that 2011 will feature a visit from BYU giving Texas an opportunity to do what OU could not and [...]

  19. Hornlow said:

    January 27th, 2010 at 7:36 am

    Well its refreshing to see that persecution and bigotry in this country against other religions (Mormons in this case) haven’t really gone anywhere. Ya know, I’m one to take a joke or two about Mormons (even ones about polygamy) but the content of this thread has gone above and beyond tolerable. As a long-time reader of BC and a Mormon, I’m very disappointed in the lead Barkers especially for contributing to this. I was born and raised in Austin as a Longhorn and have never even set foot in Utah and my faith has never had any impact on my ability to be a faithful Horn fan. You might want to think about who might be in your loyal audience before making any slighted and obviously uninformed comments regarding religion or any other personal viewpoint or belief one might hold.

    Having said that, I will remain faithful to BC and can’t wait to smash the ever loving shit outta those Utards from BYU in 2011.

    Hook Em!

  20. lazer2280 said:

    January 27th, 2010 at 7:37 am

    Ross Apo will get to play at DKR after all.

  21. Alan Rickman said:

    January 27th, 2010 at 7:37 am

    Miners not minors, you idiot!

  22. Nordberg said:

    January 27th, 2010 at 7:41 am

    Get thicker skin Hornlow.

  23. Hornlow said:

    January 27th, 2010 at 7:51 am

    I have pretty thick skin nordberg. Hence why I stated that I can take a joke. I can see the humor in things and even laugh at myself, which I do. A lot. However, there is a certain point at which things can become really offensive. I’m not asking anyone to retract their comments or anything like that, I’m just asking everyone to take it easy on the Mormon cutdowns. Believe me, this isn’t the first thread to feature jokes against us and I didn’t get my feelings hurt then or now. Nothing said here is going to change how I feel about my faith, but I’m just asking for a bit of respect. Should my request fall on deaf ears, so beit. I’ll go on my merry way and find me a new wife.

    Hook Em!

  24. Nordberg said:

    January 27th, 2010 at 8:01 am

    Sounds good.

    FWIW, I mock all religious belief systems equally.

  25. Hornlow said:

    January 27th, 2010 at 8:54 am

    Well as long as you mock equally, I guess thats okay. :)

  26. coloradoag said:

    January 27th, 2010 at 9:47 am

    The most fun religions to make fun of in order:

    1. Mormon
    2. Jehovah’s Witness
    3. Scientology
    4. Baptist
    5. Catholic
    6. Obesity

  27. cincinnatus said:

    January 27th, 2010 at 9:59 am

    7. Global warming
    8. Aggies

  28. Vasherized said:

    January 27th, 2010 at 10:09 am

    9. Landmark Forum.

  29. hodad said:

    January 27th, 2010 at 10:38 am

    10. Republicanism

  30. magnusbleuveigner said:

    January 27th, 2010 at 11:19 am

    I mock them all as well, but what I really love to mock are the people that are supposedly tolerant of others and love to celebrate diversity and then they go villify others that have a different belief system.

  31. magnusbleuveigner said:

    January 27th, 2010 at 11:22 am

    http://www.landmarkeducation.com/

    Thanks Vash!! It’s because of you I’ll soon be on the road to a new me!

  32. lazer2280 said:

    January 27th, 2010 at 12:32 pm

    Magnus, could not agree more.

    On another note, I like making fun of people from Oklahoma more than just about everything on the list.

  33. Newy25 said:

    January 27th, 2010 at 12:47 pm

    Best Mormon experience- watching two missionaries try to explain to my roomate in college why black people could not hold certain offices or powers in their church.

    “we want you to join our church and follow the white man because black people are evil.”

    I paraphased of course but that was about what they told us.

  34. Vasherized said:

    January 27th, 2010 at 2:23 pm

    Between the Eldorado scandal and Warren Jeffs finally getting caught, 2009 was not a great year for the Mormon religion. But they’re doing big business in the Far East. Those missionaries, much like Doperbo, just don’t take no for an answer.

  35. Minnesotahorn said:

    January 27th, 2010 at 2:27 pm

    Hornlow if you’re a regular reader I can’t say that I understand your response. If there’s any subsection of the population we haven’t mocked on this site it’s only because we haven’t thought of them yet.

  36. magnusbleuveigner said:

    January 27th, 2010 at 2:37 pm

    Next up, a hilarious romp detailing the daily comedy surrounding Sharia Law. Should be a hoot!!

  37. lazer2280 said:

    January 27th, 2010 at 3:28 pm

    It seems to me that BYU is the only D1 program that openly and intentionally associates its football program with a religion. They recruit Mormons, work with their kids who go on missions, and are outspoken about the program’s ties to the Mormon faith. TCU does not target Christians in recruiting any more than Baylor targets Baptists. Yet BYU does seem to target Mormons as a recruiting practice. Further, unlike BYU, neither TCU nor Baylor openly associates itself with the religion upon which the school was founded.

    I do question the extent to which my perception is true. Can anyone tell me the percentage of kids on the BYU squad that are Mormon? Surely they aren’t all Mormon, are they? Do they actively recruit kids who aren’t Mormon? I just wonder how deep the connection is between the football program and the faith.

  38. coloradoag said:

    January 27th, 2010 at 3:41 pm

    Lazer, they usually take a minority or two from the Salt Lake area to fill skill position needs. Other than that, it is almost all Mormons. They have a traveling daycare with the football program. Dead serious.

  39. magnusbleuveigner said:

    January 27th, 2010 at 3:46 pm

    It’s got to be a very deep connection. A very large percentage of the players take mission trips.

    “Of the over 100 players on the Bowl roster, over 70 have served a church missions in a total of 19 different countries around the world….”-from 2007.

    They do recruit kids that aren’t Mormon however. There was a running back from Sealy that they moved to db that was in no way a Mormon. In fact he got kicked out of school for havin’ relations. Or for drinking a Coke.

  40. magnusbleuveigner said:

    January 27th, 2010 at 3:48 pm

    Coloradoag, it’s a wonder Travis Henry didn’t go there.

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