Football Articles
Why Texas Stomps a Mudhole in Alabama
Posted by CloseToJumping on January 6th, 2010 under Football
For the third consecutive game in a row, the collective Texas fanbase has wrung its hands and bawled all over itself in anticipation of a dangerous matchup against a worthy opponent. In this instance, led by none other than this site’s esteemed primary writer, ScipioTex. He’s done his handle’s namesake a disservice today, good people.
Against ATM, no one gave the concept of a Texas loss much credence. Against Nebraska, some folks called for the upset as a trendy pick. Against Alabama, it feels as if God (note to newer readers: “God” here is an actual reference to the almighty, not Bear Bryant, who’s likely forging hotter fires for all of his cheating ways) himself has called for the Alabama blowout.
This will be the third straight game in which Texas walks out of the stadium with a new official title to hoist upon the mantle. Quite the progression – Big 12 South Champ, Big 12 Champ, BCS Champ.
“But CloseToJumping, Nick Saban has over a month to prepare for this game and he wears a robe and wizard hat!!!”
The Nick Saban worship over the past few years has gotten out of hand. After failing at Miami, he pulled a masterful job in the art of deception with the media and took the Alabama job after outright lying about it for close to a month. In doing so, he left a storied NFL franchise in complete disarray and excited one of the most illiterate, backwards, unlawful fanbases in all of college football into a waking giant. Look, Neil Young nailed it – the state of Alabama is an absolute mockery of all that is good and right within our great country. The entire state of Alabama is saved from dwelling in the cellar of notoriety among state reputations only by the fact that they’re bordered to the west by a 3rd world country called Louissippi. The last thing any college football fan that can read and write needed was the reemergence of Alabama. We’re obviously less than 3 years away from a scandal, an onslaught of NCAA violations, and human trafficking charges being brought up on the Alabama program, yet again, but that doesn’t do us much good for tomorrow night. We’re playing the best team money can buy in Los Angeles (that doesn’t actually reside as a program in Los Angeles).
Wait, where were we? Oh, shit, Nick Saban and the mystical month. Right.
I remember the last time Nick Saban had a month to prepare with a team loaded with NFL talent against a Mack Brown Texas team. There was wailing and gnashing of teeth then, but that is just how LSU fans generally behave. Regardless, our fanbase was just as guilty, due to the power of panic. “Chris Simms won’t have any time to throw!”. “Roy Williams will get molested by the DBs!”. Blahblibbidyblah.
35-20 was the score at the end of that game. A female LSU fan, clearly drunk at 1:30 in the afternoon and barely able to walk, literally bawled obscenities at me and my friends walking out of the stadium while wielding a freshly empty bottle of Old Crow. “Texas ain’t NOTHIN!!!”. This was after the beating. I expect something similar this time around for those attending the game.
Nick Saban is 4-6 in bowl games. He is lauded for having won the 2003 BCS over OU in a 21-14 snoozer on basically LSU’s home field in the Sugar Bowl. This game will not be played on Alabama’s home field. In fact, this game will not be in anything resembling a familiar setting for Alabama. They haven’t played outside of SEC states in 5 years. People also seem to forget that Saban has coached in a BCS game more recently than the 2004 Sugar Bowl. He was there last year, although he and his program would like to forget it. The performance wasn’t quite as legendary, then again, few are when a program isn’t playing Bob Stoops in a bowl game.
There is no doubt Nick Saban is a fine coach, if completely corrupt and incapable of honesty. He’s also fallible. He’s been built up within the media and the online world since the defeat of Florida as the second coming of Bear Bryant. I half expect him to show up on the sideline wearing a houndstooth fedora.
I won’t sit here and type that Alabama played their best game against Florida and won’t be up for this game. I do think it is difficult to do that two games in a row against the talent levels of UF and Texas, but it’s not my point. What we do know, what Alabama has actually admitted to, is that they prepared for that UF rematch for a full year. They ran plays and worked on plays in practices in the spring and the fall designed to attack UF tendencies. It’s been a core, unified focus of that team, from player to staff to administration. It’s very easy for the SEC mantra to rear its inbred head and tout itself inside the minds of the Bama team in the form of “that was the toughest game we’ll play all year”. Shit happens with 18-22 year olds.
“But CTJ, the SEC is like the NFL!!! We cannot compete!!!”
The SEC really is a lot like the NFL. They have great tv contracts, a ton of media coverage and hype, and they produce quality products. A key difference, of course, is that the SEC doesn’t have a salary cap, but outside of that there aren’t a ton of differences.
That considered, in the hallowed words of Bill Bradley, “it don’t make a shit”.
Texas isn’t playing the SEC. Arkansas and Florida won’t be lining up alongside Bama against us tomorrow night. We won’t have to sweat a Monte Kiffin/Nick Saban playcalling combo. There will be no three-headed quarterbacking monster of Joe Cox, Jonathan Crompton, and Stephen Garcia. Well, that I wish for, but so be it. The issue here is that this is a singular team we’re playing. They have plenty of talent on their squad. That is not in dispute. That considered, so does Texas. The talent is pretty damned even. Beyond that, Texas has tasted success repeatedly on the biggest stages and isn’t going to be daunted or surprised by what they encounter tomorrow night. They’ve been there before and they’ve been rewarded for it. The SEC is a powerful conference. Texas is a powerful program. Texas understands showtime and the atmosphere that comes with it.
Will the terrifying chant of “SEC!!SEC!!SEC!!” be bleated repeatedly by crosseyed hillbillies in the Rose Bowl parking lot for hours before the game begins? Of course. Will the cops end up having to arrest more than a dozen of them due to the fact that they drove their meth labs to the game? Sure. Will either of those things matter within the confines of the stadium? Not at all.
I watched the Fiesta Bowl the other night with a few buddies and one of them covers college sports for a living. Outside of the fact that he’s intelligent and likable, he fits the general profile of a media sycophant for the SEC. His primary take in regard to why he gives Bama the upper hand on Thursday is that they play better competition within the SEC and Texas hasn’t played atheletes like them all year. I laughed heartily. I watched probably 60 SEC games this year. I also watched them in their bowl games. This is a conference lucky to be 5-4 in bowl games right now. East Carolina and Northwestern simply refused to win their respective games against Arkansas and Auburn. Refused. Everyone seems unwilling to recognize the very basic truth of this season in regard to the SEC and it’s this: The SEC is patently mediocre in 2009. And Bama struggled mightily with a number of these teams. They rolled a good one late, but basing their strength on that singular game is as idiotic as judging Texas and McCoy in totality based off of their performance against Nebraska.
“This Alabama defense is masterful, CloseToJumping.”
After watching the first half of the Iron Bowl, I listened to Saban’s halftime interview with the Bama radio network on XM. It went something like this:
Reporter: “Coach, it looked like they came out with a pretty aggressive gameplan against you offensively in the first half, how do you adjust?”
Saban: “Yeah, we walked into a real shit storm out there didn’t we?”
Reporter: Stares blankly
Saban: “Oh, excuse my language. They threw a bunch of stuff at us. We weren’t ready for it. We’ve got to adjust.”
I laughed but it also reinforces the issue with their defense, like any other defense. They’re going to do their best to play at our tendencies and hope we don’t mix it up. Against Greg Davis, that’s a great strategy. That considered, this offense has the horses to produce against this Bama defense. They won’t put up 40 points, but they won’t be anemic, either. McCoy on the run is a given in this game, and finally it will be by design. There is nothing left to protect for him and the program has been disavowed of the illusion that the OL is serviceable against men on defense. With McCoy moving and throwing, he’s at his best. It negates a lot of the OL risk and opens up a number of options that Davis normally doesn’t provide within both the running and passing game.
“CTJ, they have NFL talent on their offense too!!!”
I’ve heard Alabama’s offense given a ton of credit this month. I can’t honestly think of anything more bizarre than that. This is an offense that produced against Florida and did nothing the rest of the year. That wasn’t because of some kind of genius disguise from Saban. They flat out sucked and couldn’t get out of their own way.
They often adamantly refused to throw at Julio Jones. Marquis Maze was precisely shit outside of the Florida game. Texas has faced better receivers than this guy all year long and many of them were better with the ball in their hands after the catch. I laugh with vigor at Scipio and anyone else that wants to talk about the potential of this guy as opposed to the reality of how he’s utilized by them and how he generally performs for them. He had a good game. He’d also be a number 3 receiver for many teams within the Big 12, from Kansas to OU to ATM. The concept that suddenly Curtis Brown or Aaron Williams can’t handle this guy is hollow.
As to Collin Peak, well, if we don’t have experience covering Greg Smith in practice, then what have we been doing all year? This is a big target that can actually catch, but he’s completely coverable by both the linebacking corps and Thomas.
What about their running game? There’s no doubt they’re going to attempt to win on defense and not shoot themselves in the foot on offense by dominating with the run. The problem with that is that Texas knows that will be the strategy and Texas has the talent and coaching to handle it. Texas is going to put Greg McElroy into a position of pass-first. They’re going to force Alabama to score methodically in the red zone. These are problems Alabama had all season and they didn’t magically go away overnight after beating Florida.
Texas is going to force Greg McElroy to realize, probably early in the 2nd quarter, that he’s actually Greg McElroy. Once this self-awareness takes place, the game goes on tilt against Alabama and I don’t like their odds.
I also don’t like our fanbase’s odds of not being physically assaulted, repeatedly, by grunting, hairy Alabama women who blame us for fighting with the North in the Civil War after Texas works Bama 31-17 for the 2nd MNC in 5 years.
Hook’em
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Activity
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GoHornsGo90 commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest Open thread 4 hours, 14 minutes ago
Barnes’ three “strengths”:
Defense, rebounding, recruiting.
This team just proved the first two are non-existent (out-rebounded by 25; fucking KIDDING me?) and the last one is over-hyped as well. Every ESPN basketball recruiting analyst who actually had Bradley ahead of Wall should be taken out back and executed Inglourious Basterds style.
I hate Turgeon and I
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skymonkeyhorn commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest Open thread 4 hours, 58 minutes ago
a Good System will usually beat a talented team that does not play together and are thinking instead of playing basketball ,over a season the system wins more then they will give away.
A team that is scared to make a mistake and thinks before they react is going to lose to a confident but -
Patrick Bateman commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest Open thread 6 hours, 32 minutes ago
Nordberg,
Ironic indeed……teachable moment, I guess….
NY Horn,
I hope your drunk, because Izzo ain’t coming to Texas……Why don’t we just get Coach K. I mean Coach G came from Duke, they have to be dying to get out of Durham….
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Trips Right commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest Open thread 6 hours, 36 minutes ago
Egg, that’s fine, but at what point do you blame Barnes? Seriously, man. You’ve thrown players under the bus left and right, but at a certain point, doesn’t the buck stop somewhere. I know you’re more of an NBA guy so it begins and ends with players there, but we need fucking
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Trips Right commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest Open thread 6 hours, 36 minutes ago
Egg, that’s fine, but at what point do you blame Barnes? Seriously, man. You’ve thrown players under the bus left and right, but at a certain point, doesn’t the buck stop somewhere. I know you’re more of an NBA guy so it begins and ends with players there, but we need fucking
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Patrick Bateman commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest Open thread 6 hours, 37 minutes ago
Trips,
I hear ya. I’m frustrated as well. I guess I just don’t prescribe to such a black and white characterization of the situation. I do know that no matter what happened in the huddle, JCB made a dumb play. If Rick didn’t explain or remind him of the situation, then I
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Trips Right commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest Open thread 6 hours, 45 minutes ago
Pat, know I don’t, but I’ve had coaches draw up plays to free up the best foul shooter and then tell that guy they’d put their foot up his ass if they passed the ball. It’s funny, but as a fans of football we nitpick blitz pickup and shit like that. Shit that’s
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Trips Right commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest Open thread 6 hours, 45 minutes ago
Pat, you know I don’t, but I’ve had coaches draw up plays to free up the best foul shooter and then tell that guy they’d put their foot up his ass if they passed the ball. It’s funny, but as a fans of football we nitpick blitz pickup and shit like that. Shit
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Trips Right commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest Open thread 6 hours, 45 minutes ago
Pat, you know I don’t, but I’ve had coaches draw up plays to free up the best foul shooter and then tell that guy they’d put their foot up his ass if they passed the ball. It’s funny, but as fans of football we nitpick blitz pickup and shit like that. Shit that’s
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Patrick Bateman commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest Open thread 6 hours, 47 minutes ago
Shitty season…..Rick needs to hire some offensive help and someone needs to say it to him. Deloss?
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Patrick Bateman commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest Open thread 6 hours, 50 minutes ago
Trips,
Do you know that he didn’t? JCB has made bad decision all season, why would this be any different. Barnes coached a shitastic game, but on the teams I was the best FT shooter, I never game up the ball unless it was an uncontested layup…..It’s not hard and it doesn’t take a
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Trips Right commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest Open thread 6 hours, 50 minutes ago
mcpayne, yes, you don’t leave that shit to chance. You don’t let your guys break the huddle or dead ball not knowing precisely what’s expected from them. Barnes doesn’t get 2 mil for coaching PE where he’s hoping the right guy gets fouled.
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uthookem commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest Open thread 6 hours, 52 minutes ago
mpayne, I’d agree with you if J’Covan had been playing all season and had been in situations to make that decision. Like, you know, against Baylor, when he played all of 3 fucking minutes thanks to rick.
So yes, it is rick’s fault.
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Trips Right commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest Open thread 6 hours, 52 minutes ago
With 15 seconds left, out of a dead ball, most coaches would make it perfectly clear who they wanted to be fouled.
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uthookem commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest Open thread 6 hours, 55 minutes ago
Stupid decisions by Brown are one of the reasons he sat on the bench for most of the season…lack of coaching maybe, or just a lack of basketball IQ?
Oh well, if Brown doesn’t go off in the 2nd half, we aren’t even playing in OT. Too bad he didn’t get much of a chance
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Trips Right commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest Open thread 6 hours, 55 minutes ago
Pat, if you were making 2 million a year, would you leave that up to chance?
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Patrick Bateman commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest Open thread 6 hours, 56 minutes ago
Actually, if your a PG and the best FT shooter on the team and played basketball your entire life, you’d pretty much know not to give up the ball if you had any brains…..Such a dumb play…..
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D W commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest Open thread 6 hours, 57 minutes ago
Oh, and a stupid decision by Brown in giving up the ball to Johnson.
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Trips Right commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest Open thread 6 hours, 57 minutes ago
Be nice if we’d coached our 90 percent foul shooter not to give the ball up.
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Patrick Bateman commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest Open thread 6 hours, 58 minutes ago
Ransom,
1 for 2, that was not shitty defense……
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Mister Mike commented on the blog post State of the Union – NU Basketball, Part 1 (or Why We Are Where We Are) 6 hours, 58 minutes ago
Well if you had read it all the way, you would’ve noticed this little tidbit:
In the second part I’ll do my best to give an outline of what exactly is wrong with the program, what we can do to fix it, and then what will probably happen TO fix it.
So to answer your question:
SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });
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uthookem commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest Open thread 6 hours, 58 minutes ago
The line kills us, as it should have.
Fuck Rick Barnes, as this was the worst coaching I have seen in all my years of watching UT sports.
This saved us from Kentucky, but I feel bad for Damo, he was a hell of a Longhorn.
Hook ‘em!
And FUCK RICK BARNES!
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Patrick Bateman commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest Open thread 6 hours, 58 minutes ago
Feel bad for Damion…..Dexter and Mason, not so much….
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D W commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest Open thread 6 hours, 58 minutes ago
So the season ends with missed free throws and shitty defense by Bradley. Pretty fitting.
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Patrick Bateman commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest Open thread 6 hours, 59 minutes ago
Yup……We knew that FTs would get us….
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Patrick Bateman commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest Open thread 7 hours ago
F’n Gary’s been awful tonight….
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uthookem commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest Open thread 7 hours ago
GJ at the line…big heart needed!
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Trips Right commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest Open thread 7 hours ago
Why does Brown give it up there?
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Patrick Bateman commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest Open thread 7 hours, 1 minute ago
Bilas explaining why we’re not a smart team…Oh good, I want Gary at the line…
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Trips Right commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest Open thread 7 hours, 1 minute ago
The good news is that now I know to fill out the census, so i’m not going to jail…not for that anyway.
uthookem said:
January 6th, 2010 at 11:38 am
Game. Set. Match.
parlin said:
January 6th, 2010 at 11:56 am
You have redeemed Scipio, CTJ.
The Stares blankly on the radio was a nice touch.
Colt wins this one with his feet.
Beat ‘Bama.
HenryJames said:
January 6th, 2010 at 11:59 am
This guy will be on the sidelines.
Confident and loose.
Hood's Texas Brigade said:
January 6th, 2010 at 12:01 pm
You done insulted Texas with that fight’n for the North bit…
TOR said:
January 6th, 2010 at 12:01 pm
I love that aggy is jumping on the Bama bandwagon to try and steal some of the spotlight. I guess they can count this as some kind of ‘win’ too.
Until they can’t.
Honna said:
January 6th, 2010 at 12:05 pm
Glad that’s over with. How am I supposed to feel for the game again?
Trips Right said:
January 6th, 2010 at 12:05 pm
You’re certainly due. I like it, but I also believe Jonathan Swift was a cannibal deep down inside.
Great post!!
Name (required) said:
January 6th, 2010 at 12:06 pm
This one felt much, much better than the Nebraska one did, for some reason,
scagnetti said:
January 6th, 2010 at 12:08 pm
Game On, Coach!
jimmyjazz said:
January 6th, 2010 at 12:08 pm
“With McCoy moving and throwing, he’s at his best. It negates a lot of the OL risk and opens up a number of options that Davis normally doesn’t provide within both the running and passing game.”
A-f’n-men. And if GD doesn’t roll Colt, he truly deserves to be fired. I look forward to seeing Cody 2-3 quarters of trying to run down our QB. We might actually be able to run late in the game if we (fingers crossed) do this right.
vandy said:
January 6th, 2010 at 12:13 pm
Does the fact that the last 2 muhole columns haven’t resulted in mudholings carry any weight? That said, I’m on board.
BEHorn said:
January 6th, 2010 at 12:14 pm
Mud-fucking-hole!!! Sweet!!!
I am now genuinely fired up. I was very low after Scip’s post, but honestly there’s nothing like a good solid “mudhole” post to get the blood pumping.
Well done, CTJ
BrickHorn said:
January 6th, 2010 at 12:14 pm
I admire your unapologetic Pollyannaism, CTJ, and enjoyed the read as always. But your write-up completely ignores the one factor that has created more Chicken Littles among the Longhorn fandom than any other: Greg Davis. In that sense, your analysis is like the following review of a hypothetical fight between Mike Tyson and Stephen Hawking:
Prof. Hawking will stomp a mudhole in Tyson’s ass. For months, Hawking fans have been wringing their hands, soiling their panties and screeching “how, oh how, will our hero ever stand a chance against mean old Mike Tyson?!?” Pussies. Hawking will kill Tyson.
“But BrickHorn, Mike Tyson is so strong, quick and talented”
Sure, Tyson’s talented. But he was beaten silly by mediocre heavyweight Buster Douglas, who was able to weather Tyson’s early barrage and wear out the former champ in the later rounds. He’s not invincible. And Hawking is exceptionally smart, negating any perceived physical advantage Tyson might enjoy.
“Brick, Iron Mike has a wicked uppercut!”
Mike Tyson did have tremendous punching power. Once upon a time. Now he’s past his prime, and his power is little better than average for a world-class heavyweight prize fighter. If he’s counting on winning on punches alone, Tyson’s in for a rude awakening against Stephen Hawking. Moreover, Hawking fights with a low center of gravity and keeps his chin tucked – the perfect antidote to Tyson’s once-great uppercut.
“But Tyson is an experienced professional fighter who has several dozen knock-outs.”
Okay. And there are undefeated pee-wee hockey teams out there, too. Do any of them stand a chance against the Wayne Gretzky era Oilers? Tyson’s won a lot of fights, but many of his opponents have proven in later fights to be tomato cans. I’m not impressed with his slate of victories in the least. This is a wash at best.
Hook ‘Em.
NY Horn said:
January 6th, 2010 at 12:15 pm
Whatever hope was left, is now gone.
Still Worried said:
January 6th, 2010 at 12:15 pm
Bama can be beaten, but what if Colt finally has his usual late season melt-down?
I hope to GAWD he already had it against NU.
magnusbleuveigner said:
January 6th, 2010 at 12:17 pm
“I watched the Fiesta Bowl the other night with a few buddies and one of them covers college sports for a living.”
Does hanging out with MK Bower really count?
uthookem said:
January 6th, 2010 at 12:19 pm
SW, the bowl game is a season unto itself.
Moreover, Hawking fights with a low center of gravity and keeps his chin tucked – the perfect antidote to Tyson’s once-great uppercut.</i?
You owe me a keyboard…mine does not like Dr Pepper all over it.
uthookem said:
January 6th, 2010 at 12:20 pm
Fucking italics!
bateshorn said:
January 6th, 2010 at 12:21 pm
Ah, Acceptance and Hope. Feels good to be back there.
wtfbbq said:
January 6th, 2010 at 12:26 pm
long live the mudhole!
Thanks for this. After Scipio’s “let’s get back to reality” whine-and-cheese-fest, I needed a huge dose of “We are Texas and we will hook all of them!”
ghostofagroundgame said:
January 6th, 2010 at 12:29 pm
I. am. relieved?
This one feels right.
PB @ BON said:
January 6th, 2010 at 12:29 pm
The entire state of Alabama is saved from dwelling in the cellar of notoriety among state reputations only by the fact that they’re bordered to the west by a 3rd world country called Louissippi.
/Guffaw
Awesome post. Hook ‘em
ghostofagroundgame said:
January 6th, 2010 at 12:31 pm
Also — At least Louisiana has New Orleans. Hell, Mississippi has Tunica AND Biloxi. Alabama has exactly SHIT.
CTJ's lil bro said:
January 6th, 2010 at 12:43 pm
Insinuating that Bear Bryant is burning in hell is unnecessary, over the top, and hilarious. Well played sir.
dick said:
January 6th, 2010 at 12:47 pm
“ScipioTex. He’s done his handle’s namesake a disservice today”
Scipio Africanus?
ghostofagroundgame said:
January 6th, 2010 at 12:49 pm
Also, George Wallace:
January 6th, 2010 at 12:53 pm
Yes… we are indeed in trouble if EVEN the mudhole post makes no mention of the texas offense versus the Bama defense.
Las Pistolas said:
January 6th, 2010 at 12:53 pm
GAME. BLOUSES.
nordberg said:
January 6th, 2010 at 1:01 pm
“Yes… we are indeed in trouble if EVEN the mudhole post makes no mention of the texas offense versus the Bama defense.”
The offense will be asked to be a caretaker for the defense and ST. If everything breaks right, the offense won’t turn the ball over once, allowing better field position for the D and ST. One TD for each gets us the 14-10 victory.
Texas Clock Management said:
January 6th, 2010 at 1:20 pm
Hello?!! Did you call?
Magnificent Bastard said:
January 6th, 2010 at 1:22 pm
Up 31-17, who needs clock management?
Levander Williams said:
January 6th, 2010 at 1:22 pm
We are so screwed now.
Still, I admire the hubris. Nicely done.
Magnificent Bastard said:
January 6th, 2010 at 1:26 pm
It will be nice to have football and basketball sitting simultaneously at 14-0. At least until Saturday.
srr50 said:
January 6th, 2010 at 1:28 pm
I read Scip’s treatise and I think “Damn, straight, it’s gonna be a long night,” and have a Jack Daniels lunch.
I read CTJ’s mudhole and think, “Fuck ‘em and feed ‘em to the fish,” and I believe I’ll have a Cutty Sark dinner.
Hell said:
January 6th, 2010 at 1:31 pm
Saban is only a letter away from Satan…something The Bear says he gets a chuckle out of….
Bear Bryant said:
January 6th, 2010 at 1:41 pm
I’s love to tell you guys what I’ve been up to here in Hades, but I’m in the infermary because I hurt my back in practice, and Lucifer doesn’t give a shit as usual. I’ll try and check back later.
Cincohorn said:
January 6th, 2010 at 1:58 pm
Bear: Is Lucifer also a pirate and are you bothered that Grills has taken your name?
Sailor Ripley said:
January 6th, 2010 at 2:22 pm
An Aggie last time:
HOOKED said:
January 6th, 2010 at 2:31 pm
“The entire state of Alabama is saved from dwelling in the cellar of notoriety among state reputations only by the fact that they’re bordered to the west by a 3rd world country called Louissippi. ”
Did Mississippi slide off into the Gulf of Mexico while I wasn’t looking?
ghostofagroundgame said:
January 6th, 2010 at 2:33 pm
Only aggys would make a t-shirt for sentiment like that.
JP said:
January 6th, 2010 at 2:36 pm
A GREAT BIG FUCKIN’ THANK YOU, CTJ!!!!
I’ve waited over a year for this and I refuse to spend these last hours rubbing my twat and crying because the other team has good players too…
FUCK BAMA IN THE MOTHERFUCKIN’ MUDHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
nordberg said:
January 6th, 2010 at 2:45 pm
“Only aggys would make a t-shirt for sentiment like that.”
No shit. Want to support Texas, wear a Texas shirt. Instead they make maroon ones that say gig ‘em. Typical.
hopefulhorn said:
January 6th, 2010 at 2:45 pm
Testosterone for the Longhorn soul–bless you, ctj.
TxTower said:
January 6th, 2010 at 2:57 pm
Louisissippi is the combination of the two conjoined armpits immediately to our East.
UT wildcatter said:
January 6th, 2010 at 2:58 pm
GOAGG-
Love the Patterson Hood story about Wallace.
UT wildcatter said:
January 6th, 2010 at 3:00 pm
Do you think you can find a “3 Great Alabama Icons” out there for these ole boys?
ghostofagroundgame said:
January 6th, 2010 at 3:10 pm
Ask and you shall receive —
Jeff Spicoli said:
January 6th, 2010 at 3:18 pm
Ahahaha, Right on, Dude! Those guys are f*gs!!!
LurkerintheDark said:
January 6th, 2010 at 3:21 pm
I have a motto: Expect the worst. That way, when I’m surprised, it’s usually in a good way, or relatively better, at least. I came into the world all “bright-eyed and bushy-tailed,” as the saying goes. I had Great Expectations. It wasn’t ten minutes before I wanted to crawl back into the womb.
I put aside that mantra during the Vince years. It wasn’t proper somehow.
It served me well last year. I expected nothing from the team at the beginning of the year, and they gave me one of the most enjoyable football seasons I can remember.
I haven’t enjoyed this season as much because I have mistakenly allowed my expectations to rise above the requisite depths, causing me much anxiety at times.
But I go into this game expecting the worst from our offense, so I’m sane and ready…
…to be surprised.
Ag_in_TX said:
January 6th, 2010 at 3:47 pm
When is this game anyway? Next Monday?
erndoggiedog said:
January 6th, 2010 at 4:00 pm
FINALLY!!! Somebody who accurately thinks we are going to score 30! Look, even in our bad games this year, it was almost easy except for two games. OK, Colt was sick and his hand was injured leading to one of his worse games ever. In case yall forgot, we ran the ball in that game and would have won bigger if A) Colt was normal and B) Greg Davis called some long passes.
The Neb game, we dropped a TD that would have made the score 17 – 9 and effectively would have given us a pick 6 or something after that. So, with one catch we would have scored over 20 with NO running game, and barely any down field throws.
So in this game, if Colt is on, and Greg Davis calls a few bombs, we will score 30. Don’t forget that Bamma’s D gets credit for slowing down LSU of all people. WITHOUT THEIR STARTING RB AND QB LATE IN THE GAME. Bamma’s D gets credit for the weak SEC offenses. Their is not a team on Bamma’s schedule that we wouldn’t beat by a much higher margin than they did except Florida. It might be close, but I think we will smoke them 31-20.
uthookem said:
January 6th, 2010 at 4:09 pm
Way to go, erndog.
I’ve got 27-17, good guys.
Back to the OU game, if Colt doesn’t fumble at the 2 or throw the pick at the 8, we score about 30 against OU.
AND, if my Aunt had balls, she’d be my Uncle!
Horncasting said:
January 6th, 2010 at 4:44 pm
In the last 2 seasons Alabama has lost twice as many games as a team OC’d by Greg Davis. Think about that for a minute.
llogg said:
January 6th, 2010 at 5:31 pm
After the Nebraska game I thought the Horns had no chance in the NCG. Slowly I began to come around and felt pretty confident. I mean, Jesus clearly loves him some Colt McCoy (as Ms. Glandorf is proof), and everyone knows God hates gingers. I was getting hyped for the crystal to come all the way back to Austin, Texas, baby.
Then I saw a Mudhole post by CTJ. And I wept.
EyesOfTX said:
January 6th, 2010 at 5:41 pm
We’re going to win by about 31-21, because Will Muschamp’s defense will be able to control – not shut down, but control – Alabama’s run game. If we can hold ‘Bama to 140 yards or less on the ground, they will have to try to win the game with McElroy’s arm, and that is not going to happen.
Hook ‘em!!!
czarcw said:
January 6th, 2010 at 5:46 pm
Thus far this year, Mudhole = Texas plays crappy
I hate you so much… it-it- the f – it -flam – flames. Flames, on the side of my face, breathing-breathl- heaving breaths. Heaving breath…
torre said:
January 6th, 2010 at 5:48 pm
“Texas is going to force Greg McElroy to realize, probably early in the 2nd quarter, that he’s actually Greg McElroy. Once this self-awareness takes place, the game goes on tilt against Alabama and I don’t like their odds” posted by CTJ
Great job, CTJ. Thanks for the antidote to the blog by (I can’t make myself type his name)
bob said:
January 6th, 2010 at 6:43 pm
Pffft…. If we’re going down I’d rather we go down flinging insults and feces instead of cowering in the corner and waiting to get smacked.
Go Horns and Bama (the entire state) sucks!
iamthepush said:
January 6th, 2010 at 7:03 pm
I was feeling pretty shitty about this game until I read Scipio’s blog then felt suicidal. But this mud hole has blood filling my corpora cavernosa and my only relief is a couple of roommate hooking up in the zone.
Dick game ON mutha fuckers!!!!!
TOR said:
January 6th, 2010 at 7:04 pm
Why does everyone forget that Alabama has NO offense. NONE. ZIP. NADA. NOTHINK. Unless they’re stashing a guy that can kick 75yd fieldgoals they aren’t going to score. McElroy is awful. Ingram is a middling back with lots of e. coast press. Stuff the run and let Earl play center field – ballgame. And who’s to say Saban isn’t out there interviewing for the SC job? Ya never know.
Relax people.
Sailor Ripley said:
January 6th, 2010 at 7:13 pm
2-0
mike said:
January 6th, 2010 at 7:32 pm
Bruno the fucking orangutan agrees:
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/sports_blog/2010/01/its-official-texas-will-win-the-bcs-title.html
johnnymac said:
January 6th, 2010 at 7:42 pm
czarcw said:
January 6th, 2010 at 5:46 pm
Thus far this year, Mudhole = Texas plays crappy
2-0 but you’re right because we all know that style points will be important tomorrow night. I agree.
Doperbo said:
January 6th, 2010 at 7:46 pm
Excellent use of a lunch hour my friend. I remember the first one of these (Stanford) like it was yesterday. I think I form tackled a ward clerk. Wherever we fall in the manic depressive rollercoaster you and Scip are riding it’s comforting to know I’ll be watching with people who care about this shit as much as I do.
Oh, and it’s your fault if we lose. Tradition requires I point that out.
ghostofagroundgame said:
January 6th, 2010 at 7:50 pm
We are 2-0 with mudholes. Also, just because no one has said it here yet, if we go up 2 TDs then it is over. They can’t throw it on us and won’t play well from behind. So here’s to two early scores and an insurmountable lead.
BatesHorn said:
January 6th, 2010 at 8:10 pm
Now that I’m pregaming (what, doesn’t every start 24 hours out?), this fires me up even more.
I am SO buying a pair of elephant lucchese after we win this game,
nordberg said:
January 6th, 2010 at 9:00 pm
“if we go up 2 TDs then it is over. They can’t throw it on us and won’t play well from behind. So here’s to two early scores and an insurmountable lead.”
I would slit all of your throats for a Monroe/Goodwin opening kickoff return for a TD, followed by an Earl Thomas pick six.
Sasha is a Longhorn Dog said:
January 6th, 2010 at 9:23 pm
Just turned on the LA Lakers/Clippers basketball game and one of the announcers just said that Colt McCoy will show his greatness tomorrow.
Doesn’t really add to the discussion. Just thought that was pretty cool.
burnt orange outrage said:
January 6th, 2010 at 10:22 pm
Our defense is going to be flying to the ball and playing with controlled abandon. We’re going to sack McElroy at least 3 times and force at least 2 turnovers. Colt is going to scramble effectively and make several of his patented huge plays off busted plays, throwing 3 TD passes, including the game winner to Shipley late in the 4th quarter. Texas wins 24-17. It all came to me in a dream.
Of course, I’d be equally ecstatic if we win on an intentional grounding call on McElroy in the end zone, giving us a 2-0 victory.
However it plays out, enjoy the moment. These are great days for Longhorn football. We’re playing for a NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP!! Hook ‘em baby!
Trips Right said:
January 6th, 2010 at 10:30 pm
Rumor going around that Ron Jeremy is sporting a Longhorn cap at the Laker’s game as well. Seriously.
Spawn of Cthulhu said:
January 7th, 2010 at 12:07 am
I’m sporting my Ron Jeremy condom (XL) right now. Seriously.
Tdiddle said:
January 7th, 2010 at 12:16 am
I’ve been saving my commemorative 2006 National Championship bottle of wine for tomorrow, gonna be cracking it open as the clock read :00 and Texas is NATIONAL CHAMPS!!!!!!
F*CK ALABAMA!!!
HOOK EM!!!!!!!!
Lilia B. said:
January 7th, 2010 at 5:54 am
I’ve been stressing out over this game ever since the end of the Big XII CG, but this put a huge smile on my face.
Also, it’s been mentioned amongst sports writers that Mack Brown really knows how to prepare his teams for bowl games ever since the Holiday Bowl debacle. But it hasn’t really been mentioned that Colt is 3-0 in bowl games, despite the first two coming after heart breaking losses to A&M and Kansas State and after last year’s disappointment of being left out of the national title game because of yet another heartbreaking loss. Texas will be prepared for this game, in spite of Davis and McWhorter, because Mack and Colt just know how to win in bowl games.
TEXAS FIGHT!
Pat Sajak said:
January 7th, 2010 at 7:19 am
If you’ve ever visited the great state of Aleebamee you know that they already have a great quantity of mudholes. No lie.
CurrentLonghornStudent said:
January 7th, 2010 at 4:14 pm
@Pat–
Most of them exist in the middle of the roads.
Hook ‘em!
NateHeupel said:
January 7th, 2010 at 8:20 pm
At halftime, it looks like CTJ’s mudhole curse has finally caught up with UT. Let’s see how the 2nd half goes.
Branding Iron 13-0 and The Seer said:
January 7th, 2010 at 11:27 pm
Man, this ctj guy makes us look like Ace Rothstein.
Rollie said:
January 8th, 2010 at 6:02 am
you wont win another MNC unless you find a run game.