Football Articles
“Hey, coach, it’s Bill.”
“Uh, Bill who?”
“Bill Byrne, coach, your Athletic Director?”
“Oh, yeah, hey, how’s it going?”
“Well, not all that great, really.”
“Really? How come?”
“How come? Seriously? Did you catch the final score of the game last night?”
“Uh, yeah, the Bears pulled it out in overtime – hell of a game, huh?”
“The Be…?? Actually, coach, I was referring to our game. You know, with Georgia?”
“Oh, yeah, that one. Hell, I was trying to put that one out of mind – didn’t come out too good, did it?”
“Well, no, coach, it really didn’t. And, you know, I’ve been trying to figure out what to say about it all in my weekly outreach piece to our loyal fan base…”
“Would that be the loyal fan base who had all abandoned the stadium midway through the third quarter?”
“Yes. Yes, it would, coach. That very same fan base.”
“They think I don’t notice that kind of stuff, but they underestimate my keen powers of observation.”
“Okay, I’m not sure how to respond to that, so I’m going to ignore it.”
“Feel free. I’ve got six more years, guaranteed.”
“Yes, believe it or not, I’m aware of that fact.”
“It’s a good thing, you know. We need stability in our program here at A&M.”
“Seriously, that’s enough, coach – I can’t take any more, it makes my spleen hurt. Back to my outreach piece – I kind of need your help here figuring out how to spin this one.”
“How come? I mean, what’s to spin here? We’re young and unpredictable. Hell, I don’t even know what’s going to happen with this bunch most of the time. That’s worked all year long, hasn’t it?”
“Well, yeah, it has, but it’s beginning to wear a little thin, coach. I mean, this was the 13th game the team played this year, and you had an extra two weeks of practice leading into it, which is kind of like having an extra Spring training, you know?”
“And?”
“And, the ‘we’re young and unpredictable’ excuse is getting old, coach. I’m already getting emails from some pretty hefty boosters warning me off of using that particular rationalization for this latest disaster. Let me read one to you from a 7 figure lifetime donor to the program: ‘Dear Mr. Byrne: If, in this week’s letter to the fans, you roll out that same, tired shit about this team being young and unpredictable, I am going to personally bring my pet pit bull Jackie to your office and allow him to chew off your left ear, and leave a steaming turd on top of your desk.’ “
“Ok, that’s not a good sign.”
“Well, no, it really isn’t coach, and that’s why I am reaching out to you here.”
“[sigh] You know, communicating really isn’t my strong point, Bill…”
“Yes, that is obvious. Still, you must have given some thought about what you yourself intend to say when asked by boosters or the media.”
“Naw, not really. I just watched the second half of the Bears game and got a good night’s sleep. That guaranteed contract has just done wonders for my sleeping pattern.”
“…grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…”
“But now that you mention it, I guess we could point to stuff like we’re 2 games better this year than last year, and how we’re getting on TV more, you know, the positives that are going on.”
“Coach, the team went 6-7 in this, your second season. You do understand that we fired your predecessor, a guy with a two game winning streak against our friends from the State capitol, mind you, after he went 7-5, right?”
“Well, yeah, but he didn’t have six years guaran…”
“Dammit! Quit reminding me of that shit!”
“Ok, ok, calm down. I get a little squeamish when folks yell at me like that.”
“And as for getting on TV more often, well, are you aware that the team played 7 televised games this season, and lost all 7 of them?”
“Really? Why, that’s remarkable!”
“Yes, it is remarkable, coach, but in a bad way. So why would I want to mention that in my outreach piece?”
“Oh, well, I get your point there. Not a good direction to go. Well, have you talked recently about how well the equestrian and sharpshooting teams have done this year? You know, it never hurts to deflect attention away from failure and towards success. That’s what I always say.”
“..”
“Bill? You there? Hello?”
“uh, yeah, I’m here, coach. Just blacked out for a minute there.”
“Blacked out??? Sounds serious – does it happen often?”
“No, only when MY GODDAM FOOTBALL COACH STARTS TALKING ABOUT HOW GREAT THE GODDAM EQUESTRIAN TEAM IS!!!!”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Bill, if you’re gonna get testy like this, I’m going to hang up. This is stress I just don’t need, you know?”
“Fine, coach, fine. You go ahead and hang up. I’ll figure this out on my own.”
“Look, don’t get mad here. Just say something about how you can’t help being encouraged by all of the young talent on the team, how we kept fighting to the end and just ran out of time, throw in some stuff about good bull and ol’ Army, and how pretty that unofficial bonfire was, and we’ll be golden for another year.”
“You’ll be fine for another year – I don’t have a guaranteed contract.”
“Heh-heh. Well, that’s your problem, isn’t it? Now, if you don’t mind, I’m gonna go get a little shut eye.”
“…grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…”
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Sailor Ripley commented on the blog post Lucky 1 minute ago
Great stuff, Ted.
Interesting discussion this has sparked about Calahan.
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gingerballs commented on the blog post Big Dance: Day Two 18 minutes ago
Hearing Murray Hewitt’s voice never gets old…even if the commercials could use his comedic talent much better.
Cornell is impressive, Temple got fucked with them as a 12.
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D W commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest: Post Mortem 19 minutes ago
Turn off the sound and watch the replay of Johnson’s setup and motion shooting the free throws. They never had a chance of going in. After the first one, he sighs heavily, looks up at the ceiling (?), moves his feet nervously and generally gives off the body language of wishing the earth
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Sailor Ripley commented on the blog post Baylor v. Sam Houston State Preview 37 minutes ago
Memes by definition are to be shared.
Congrats. Udoh is a beast. Rooting for you guys, strangely.
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D W commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest: Post Mortem 1 hour, 14 minutes ago
Trips, thanks for all your posts this season. I don’t always agree with you but that is sort of the point of a blog isn’t it? Your assesments are usually well-written, informative and fair and where else can you find those qualities?
As for the team, I watched a loose, confident and
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texasengr commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest: Post Mortem 1 hour, 31 minutes ago
Why didn’t we call a time out after Wake hit the go ahead jumper?
The clock would have been reset to ~1.5 seconds. Wouldn’t the ball have been advanced to half-court? Or was that rule changed?
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Patrick Bateman commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest: Post Mortem 1 hour, 35 minutes ago
If AB can get inside the top 15 or so, he should go. If he can’t, then he should come back. He’s got a lot of warts on his game, but a lot to build on as well…..
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Blake Stansbery wrote a new blog post: Arkansas Razorback Football Spring Practice Preview: Running Backs 1 hour, 38 minutes ago
The Arkansas Razorbacks spring practices are creeping up and are officially set to begin Tuesday March 30th. This is a first part in a series of articles over the following days leading up to March 30th highlighting position battles to watch in the spring.
It is by now well known that the Razorbacks will be without
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ghostofagroundgame commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest: Post Mortem 1 hour, 40 minutes ago
Trips, thanks for all of the post-mortems this year. It’s one thing when you’re 17 – 0, and it’s something else entirely when your year ends like our has. There is only one thing in this one will which I take issue. You said:
“In the plus column, I was happy with the
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Patrick Bateman commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest Open thread 1 hour, 46 minutes ago
Nordie,
Is that you being glib derived out of frustration (lord knows, I can empathize) or do you have actually have some source or evidence beyond the general media sources? Is that just conjecture that you’ve heard or do you know anything credible? Love to hear it if you do…..
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Patrick Bateman commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest: Post Mortem 1 hour, 57 minutes ago
“This may seem arrogant but I believe its true – if you are a coach in virtually any sport at UT, you will be a good recruiter. The state is loaded with athletes, including basketball players, UT as a university is top-notch by virtually any measure and just really doesn’t have any serious in-state competition.”
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skymonkeyhorn commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest: Post Mortem 2 hours, 6 minutes ago
Trips, I love you man ! Of course its man Love and not like the love you have with Henry…..
You are the very best of all the talking heads on Texas Basketball, your knowledge is vast and your style is dynamic and you reach the crazies with your knowledge on hoops.
You are right about the
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GoHornsGo90 commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest: Post Mortem 2 hours, 10 minutes ago
It’s not Brown’s fault they made a bad call. It is Brown’s fault giving the ball up there. In his defense, he was in a pretty sick spot in the corner. Not in his defense, he is allowed to dribble and shouldn’t BE in the corner in the first place.
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Texastough commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest: Post Mortem 2 hours, 14 minutes ago
I started that post before any of the other comments. Didn’t know redundancy could be so long-winded.
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Texastough commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest: Post Mortem 2 hours, 18 minutes ago
On the Barnes talk, I really don’t have enough Bball knowledge to have an ultimate opinion, only some preliminary thoughts/questions:
This may seem arrogant but I believe its true – if you are a coach in virtually any sport at UT, you will be a good recruiter. The state is loaded with athletes, including basketball
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GoHornsGo90 commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest Open thread 2 hours, 19 minutes ago
GigoloJoe:
He’s like Frank Martin…without the really, really good coaching ability and DC recruiting connection.
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JungleHeat wrote a new blog post: Champions League Draw 2 hours, 31 minutes ago
The draw for the quarterfinal round took place today in Nyon Switzerland.
The match ups are here
Unstoppable?
It really couldn’t be any worse for Arsenal as they drew Barcelona and will have to face the defending champions at the Emirates to begin the round. Waiting for the winner of that match up will be the winner of
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Trips Right commented on the blog post FLV March Madness First Round Bets 2 hours, 48 minutes ago
chitwood, yes, I had Baylor. Didn’t want to cross swords with dick on this thread.
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Triston27 commented on the blog post Big Dance: Day Two 2 hours, 54 minutes ago
I was actually thinking the same thing when I first saw them. If it ain’t broken…
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Hiphopopotamus commented on the blog post Big Dance: Day Two 3 hours, 2 minutes ago
I figured they worked out well for us yesterday…no reason to adjust format.
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texasengr commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest: Post Mortem 3 hours, 4 minutes ago
I’ve been waiting for this since I finished watching this game at midnight. I was on the fence on Rick until the final 2 minutes of OT last night.
FUCK RICK BARNES!!!!!!
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texasengr commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest: Post Mortem 3 hours, 4 minutes ago
I’ve been waiting for this since I finished watching this game at midnight. I was on the fence on Rick until the final 2 minutes of OT last night.
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Trips Right commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest Open thread 3 hours, 6 minutes ago
Savage, I read that too. That’s on Brown.
I’d kill everyone on the thread for Jimmer Freddette. Think about that.
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Trips Right wrote a new blog post: Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest: Post Mortem 3 hours, 11 minutes ago
Last post-mortem of the season, so we’ve got that going for us, which is nice.
Just a few thoughts on the game. I’ll do a season wrap up and preliminary preview in the next few days to tie everything in.
First off, it’s a challenge to continue to write these and not repeat what’s
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Hiphopopotamus wrote a new blog post: Big Dance: Day Two 3 hours, 35 minutes ago
A quick recap of yesterday’s action before we get to today’s tilts.
Midwest – Kansas and Northern Iowa take care of business at the top. Tennessee squeaks by San Diego St, and the shocker of the day, Georgetown falls to Ohio. Just a complete no-show by the Hoyas, which we all knew they were capable
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dick commented on the blog post FLV March Madness First Round Bets 3 hours, 43 minutes ago
I tailed Trips’ over on BYU and under on ND so I ended up more than fine yesterday. I’m not in the mood for humour after last night but I’ll throw up some quick picks in a second.
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Phenomenal Smith commented on the blog post First Round: Clemson Tigers 4 hours, 7 minutes ago
I knew what you meant with the homer comment.
I agree that it mostly comes down to Denmon and English shooting well again. They don’t have set career highs, but they do have to at least hit their season averages for Mizzou to have a chance.
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whiskey commented on the blog post Chalk Talk: The ND 3-4 Transition Part II- Defensive Line 5 hours, 55 minutes ago
LB Coach right before we moved over here usmc53 left the below question for you in response to one of your comments. Based on this post I take it the NT is just reading the Center’s head after the snap. I thought he asked a great question though and didn’t want it to
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Phenomenal Smith commented on the blog post First Round: Clemson Tigers 6 hours, 6 minutes ago
I agree that the Tigers will win.
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whiskey commented on the blog post Chalk Talk: The ND 3-4 Transition Part I- Expectations 6 hours, 8 minutes ago
I am starting to feel progressivley optomistic. Hopefully we can glean some discernable info about how this transition is going during spring practice. Valpodoc, glad to see you are still with us here at the new place. Your comments always add to the quality of the discussion.
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johnnymac said:
December 29th, 2009 at 7:53 am
Good stuff.
I said at the time he was a horrible hire and I’ll stand by that.
(putting my neck out, I know)
holdem said:
December 29th, 2009 at 8:34 am
6-7? Isn’t it 7-6? Staying within 10 of Texas counts as a win, right? I mean if that 2%er of a kicker makes the field goal and Texas doesn’t get the return the kickoff for a TD that goes to overtime.
j.r.69 said:
December 29th, 2009 at 9:10 am
WTF?? Didn’t the Ags ALMOST win the first half? And the band was inspirational.
You just can’t please some people!
magnusbleuviegner said:
December 29th, 2009 at 9:14 am
Sherman reminds me of an equal football mind, William H. Macy.
Kosciuszko said:
December 29th, 2009 at 9:20 am
In whatever circle of Hell unsaved Aggies are assigned to, your Aggie exposes will be read to them. Nice work again.
ransomstoddard said:
December 29th, 2009 at 9:22 am
You left out the part about how on earth did aggy run up and down the field on Texas’ defense?
torre said:
December 29th, 2009 at 10:06 am
Great job, Eyes!
Flamingmonkeyass said:
December 29th, 2009 at 10:06 am
Ransom has anybody out you in suicide watch yet? You know, in case we win on the 7th?
Seriously man that shit is getting old. We get it. Despite bringing in $119 million to the university and going 25-1 the last two years (including being undefeated this year) we over pay our coaches. Especially those who had one bad game and only beat their rival by double digits. On the road. Your point has been made. We suck. Now please, ransom, give it a fucking rest.
Flamingmonkeyass said:
December 29th, 2009 at 10:07 am
Oh and excellent work there Eyes.
ransomstoddard said:
December 29th, 2009 at 10:15 am
Is this better: yea, we’re going to win and go fight win! We can never criticize any coach or any performance, there is no reason to strive for anything better! Hurray!!
Geez
Horncasting said:
December 29th, 2009 at 10:16 am
The way the Big 12 is falling apart, Muschamp may be able to start gameplanning for A&M this spring and summer instead of OU or Tech.
Fritz said:
December 29th, 2009 at 11:05 am
7-7 – forgot the Spring Game.
Maybe $Bill can talk about the shitty OOC schedule next year and how oSu and Kansas suddenly look like winnable games. 7-5 Whoop! Improvement from year to year!
Flamingmonkeyass said:
December 29th, 2009 at 11:10 am
Look you don’t have to be Johnny Sunshine. And I’m all for justified criticism of our coaching staff. However, all you seem to do is interject negativity wherever and whenever you can. Given how successful this program has been over the last decade plus, it can be truly difficult at times to find things to be down about. Yet your only focus, ever, seems to be on these
few blemishes. I guess what I’m saying is that bringing up our struggles defensively against a&m that occurred over a month ago, especially after having watched our d rebound against Nebraska, and in the face of our playing for a national title in a few days, makes it very hard to take you seriously.
ghostofagroundgame said:
December 29th, 2009 at 11:14 am
The A&M defense got rubbed raw by UGA in the second half, and after a lot of friction and grinding, Cox exploded all over them.
scott hopkins said:
December 29th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
after the aggs factor in the maroon-white game as a victory, their record will be up to 7-7……
jinx said:
December 29th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
Someone I know that knows someone in the A&M program said that Jimmy Johnson will be the head coach there next year.
ghostofagroundgame said:
December 29th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
Jinx –
I seriously doubt that. But I hope so. Old NFL coaches are always successful at the college level.
srr50 said:
December 29th, 2009 at 12:33 pm
Someone I know that knows someone in the A&M program said that Jimmy Johnson will be the head coach there next year,
I wonder if that is the same someone that had Jimmy Johnson in College Station when they hired Francione or Butch Davis when they hired Sherman?
Mysterious Package said:
December 29th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
They shit the bed again
j.r.69 said:
December 29th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
I understand that Frank Leahy is “98% sure” that he’ll be coaching the Agro-Americans next year.
EyesOfTX said:
December 29th, 2009 at 2:40 pm
Pop Warner was seen on campus in College Station this morning.
Sugarpants said:
December 29th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
Does a 14-7 halftime score count towards a moral victory?