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jones Top Ten – Week Eleven – 2009

Posted by jonestopten on November 16th, 2009 under Football

The photographer arrived early. Team picture day for four-year-olds presents a degree of difficulty somewhere between landing a triple salchow and performing open-heart surgery on a Meerkat. Irish weddings are easier to choreograph. We have the 8:10 slot, which means we start promptly at 8:37. I have already dropped Son One off for an 8:00 basketball game. Son Two hit the soccer field at 8:30 and I coach Son Three’s kinderhoops game at 9:00.The home team boys play on TV at 11:00 and they are nice enough to drop a 40-point first-half shutout on the opposition, which assuages any guilt I might have about Son Three’s 12:45 basketball practice. I could quit doing this to myself, quit coaching all my son’s basketball teams, that is, but it is not my nature, as the scorpion would say.

I gave very little to college football on Saturday. It gave very little back. I actually fell asleep after Florida took a 14-7 lead on South Carolina and then forced a Gamecock fumble at midfield. Game, set, match? Not exactly, this one turned into the best game of the day. The Gamecocks’ defense held (and held and held). They only trailed 17-14 in the fourth, driving for potentially the winning score, before a great pick and return by Gator Justin Trattou ended the threat. Florida 24, South Carolina 14. And that was about it on the excitement meter.

Oh, I guess Ohio State not routing Iowa made the day a little brighter. The Buckeyes took a 24-10 lead into the fourth on the Hawkeyes when Ricky Stanzi apparently sprinkled some magic dust on his replacement, James Vandenburg, but the medicine ran out in overtime, where Ohio State prevailed 27-24.

Stanford worked over USC pretty good, hanging 55 points on a completely overmatched Trojan defense in the coliseum, of all places. Nerds 55, Spoiled Children 21. Speaking of nerds, Berkeley got off the mat and threw a wrench in Arizona’s special season with a 24-16 win. Oregon remained on the Rose Bowl inside track with a late 44-21 throttling of ASU.

TCU does not mind the bright lights one bit. Looking every inch the contender, the Horned Frogs hosted Game Day and absolutely annihilated Utah, 55-28.

And then there was…

Alabama bludgeoned Mississippi State, 31-3.

Hey, good to see you!

Boise State destroyed Idaho, 63-25.

Oh, we’re great. Yes, everyone is enjoying the new school year.

Georgia Tech whipped Duke, 49-10.

No, no, Charlie’s the youngest. Ben started kindergarten.

North Carolina, finally playing up to their potential, took down Miami, 33-24.

Thanks, I would like another beer. Great chicken, what’s the marinade again?

Penn State shrugged off Indiana, 31-20.

Yeah, San Diego’s great. Took the wife and kids this summer, love the Del Coronado.

Pittsburgh continued to disappoint the subway alumni with a 27-22 win over Notre Dame. Michigan fans are no happier after a 45-24 beatdown from Wisky.

Geez, look at the time.

LSU sleepwalked over La Tech, 24-16. BYU was even sleepier beating a horrendous New Mexico, 24-19.

Speaking of sleep, I really have got a lot on my plate tomorrow.

Central Florida “upset” Houston, 37-32, although I am not sure Houston is exceptionally better than UCF.

Well, of course, I’d love to stay, but we really need to be up early…

Oklahoma State over Texas Tech, 24-17.

Man does that guy ever shut up????

Virginia Tech crushed Maryland, 36-9 and Clemson did the same to NC State, 43-23.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I am now thoroughly bored and completely out of clever verbs to describe how one team scored more points than another team on the football field. I crave autumnal excitement. Right now, it is nowhere to be seen. Spoiled? Probably, but I wait all year for college football season to start. November has got to be better than this.

Cincinnati and West Virginia did manage to squeeze in a thriller on Friday night, with the Bearcats remaining undefeated after a 24-21 comeback engineered by the return of Tony Pike. That game was a damn sight better than the Thursday rout: Rutgers 31, South Florida 0. Huh?

Impressive Showing of the Week: Either the organic Guatemalan coffee I drank Saturday morning or TCU, I can’t decide.

1. Texas

2. Alabama

3. Florida

4. Dan Jenkins’ Rich Fantasy Life

5. Cincinnati

6. Carnegie-Mellon

7. Stanford, I mean Georgia Tech, of course

8. Ohio State (God help me)

9. Really LSU?

10. Boise (Expletive Deleted) State

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8 Responses

  1. OldTimeHorn said:

    November 16th, 2009 at 6:57 am

    Nerds? Stanford? Maybe if you combed the statistics dept and the band you’d come up with a handful. We’re talking per-student levels of spending on wardrobe and grooming rivaled only by SMU before you reach the Eastern seaboard. Should read Brainy Spoiled Children 55, Spoiled Children 21.

  2. Ricky said:

    November 16th, 2009 at 7:35 am

    I watched most of the first 3 quarters of the Bama game and didn’t come away any more impressed that I was in watching them recently. They were only up 17-0 going into the 4th quarter. MSU was crap but they almost had a return for a TD and had at least three other pass plays into the endzone that would have scored if their receivers could catch or if their QB had slightly better touch (the MSU QB was absolutely horrible!). I stopped watching at the end of the 3rd and Bama really only ran away with it in the 4th quarter.

  3. e said:

    November 16th, 2009 at 7:43 am

    Hey I am a student Carnegie Mellon and I can tell you first hand:
    Don’t sleep on the Scottie Dogs this season.
    We have a great rushing attack and some impressive victories, including a 42-3 utter dismantling of Hiram College back in September.

  4. uthookem said:

    November 16th, 2009 at 7:46 am

    Not sure I follow you on that assessment of Stanford, OldTimeHorn.

    When I was there, all of the other graduate students were dirt poor and living on grant money, and while there were a few undergrads with loads of cash (I remember one Lambo in undergrad student parking), a large majority were also on aid/grant money to attend.

    Now, walk across the street to Palo Alto and north to Menlo Park, and you are dead on.

  5. jonestopten said:

    November 16th, 2009 at 7:48 am

    OldTimeHorn:

    Fair enough. You are correct; Stanford is more akin to SMU with (much) better SAT scores.

  6. OldTimeHorn said:

    November 16th, 2009 at 5:06 pm

    You see quite a few Texas plates around Stanford, uthookem… on nice new rides from Dallas Highland Parks, Austin Westlake Hills, Houston River Oaks, never on beaters and certainly not on anything like the string of flathead-6 International Harvesters that got me around Austin.

  7. CurrentLonghornStudent said:

    November 17th, 2009 at 4:41 am

    Whoa there OldTimeHorn. There are few old money kids at Stanford from Texas, but there are a lot of middle-class smart kids there too. Most students don’t even own cars because parking is so horrendous anyway–I wouldn’t say you need a car there. There are spoiled children there, but let’s not characterize a school by a stereotypical minority…

  8. OldTimeHorn said:

    November 17th, 2009 at 7:10 am

    Current Horn, are you saying that my attempt to stop Jones from disparaging Stanford students as nerds by substituting a more apt stereotype was not helpful? Even after enduring 30 years of hearing the stereotypes they have for us, you’re probably right. Enjoy your time in Austin; you picked the right campus.

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