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Hungover Thoughts on Yesterday’s College Football Action

Posted by Trips Right on November 8th, 2009 under Football

Many thanks to Vasherized for the micheladas and Texas Chili Parlor burgers. Solid work. Perfect post game atmosphere to watch the abortion that is SEC offensive football. Dark, Cold, with AC/DC blaring in the background. I had to double up on jalapenos to stay awake. We did shots of tequila after every explosive play so I manged to stay relatively sober.

Interestingly enough, the other game showing was Penn State vs. Ohio State. And I’ll start my random piecing together of the day’s football events with this game. Terrell Pryor looked like a poor man’s Vince Young which can be deadly when coupled with a fierce defense. Especially when said defense is playing against Darryl Clark, the black Bucky Richardson.

Speaking of stereotyping, can we scrap the Ed McCaffery descriptor when talking about Jordan Shipley? I heard some ESPN talking head throw it out there last night. That’s just lazy. The only things Ed and Ship have in common are that they are receivers, white, and have talented brothers. I’ve heard the Ricky Proehl comparison, and I can tolerate the racial code because it’s somewhat original. Wes Welker is weak, but I suppose I can see it if you sell me on the X’s and O’s. Here are a couple more that I’ll float as a sort of interweb experiment to see if it takes. How about Lance Alworth? Golden Richards? Tim Dwight? See how easy and asinine this is. Nearly as asinine as…

Not playing a talent like Malcolm Williams when your replacements are James Kirkendoll, Greg Smith, and John Chiles. It’s not like Kirk and Chiles make multiple NFL caliber plays over the course of any ball game. They’ve both had big drops this 2009 season so please don’t go there when arguing the point with me. And Greg Smith, he better be Johnathan Ogden dominant in the running game if he’s going to replace what Mal brings to the table game in and game out. It’s douchebaggery at its finest. You need look no further than the other side of the ball to see that you play the players that make plays. When Kirkendoll stiff arms a DB and runs for 15 yards after contact or John Chiles makes ANYONE miss in the open field I’ll listen to the counterpoint. Otherwise, get this young man the preponderance of the snaps at the position.

In other coaching douchebaggery. Tulsa coach Todd Graham is an asshat. Telling your defensive players to feign injury on every play to slow down an up tempo offense is teh ghey. And the Golden Hurricane faked cramp after cramp on virtually every play to slow down the Cougar offense last night. And it worked, the Cougs only scored 46 points. It would have been comical if it wasn’t so blatant and frequent. It is why so many folks hate soccer and it needs to be addressed with an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty. Oklahoma pulled this crap in the RRS last month and it goes beyond the pale vis a vis acceptable gamesmanship. Ask Jahvid Best about faking injuries. There’s no place for this crap in our game.

On to two coaches whose stars may be falling.

Mark Richt, and Bob Stoops. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. And no, a win against a Diivision II school doesn’t absolve you from Hungover Thoughts, Mark. These guys, at different points in time, were considered the creme de la creme of the coaching profession. Now, not so much. At some point, feel free to mix in a win against a top 10 or hell, top 25 opponent.

Pete, keep scoring 14 against the Arizona States of the world and you’ll soon be added to the list above. Jeff Tedford, your irrelevancy started a long time ago. Fourteen at home vs. Oregon State. I remember when folks in Austin longed for offensive innovation. Now you’re lack of innovation, is offensive.

And finally, let’s scrap instant replay since it has obvious become yet another tool conferences can use to further their agenda. The examples of replay shenanigans are legion, but I’ll highlight only a couple because my head is pounding. Iowa had two smoke and mirror TD overturns last week vs. IU to help seal the deal. The WAC had to suspend replay officials doing the Boise/SJSU game after they stole points from the Spartans. But to get right back to the heart of college football shenanigans, you have to go back to its roots…the SEC.

The interception non-call in the LSU/Bama game was atrocious and enabled the Tide to avoid a last second TD by a game Tiger squad. Lucky for the Mad Hatter he was, as usual, at a loss for words, otherwise a suspension or fine would have been imminent. $EC!! $EC!!

Look, we get it already, you want Bama and Florida to be undefeated going into the conference championship game. It’s a mere formality at this point. So, book your team flights and hotels now and save on your travel expenses. After all, it’s all about the money.

Goddamn, 11 am kickoffs suck out loud. My head hurts, I’m sun burnt, and the menudo isn’t going down too well. But the Horns are 9-0 and probably the best football team in the land. That’s better than a shot of crown with a Tecate back. Tengo resaca. Hook ‘Em.

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20 Responses

  1. ghostofagroundgame said:

    November 8th, 2009 at 9:06 am

    Agreed completely on Malcolm Williams. There is simply no argument, as Kirkendoll and Chiles have had worse drops that Malc, without any of the upside.

    As for blown calls, it must be said, that pathetic attempt at the i-formation in our own end zone yesterday clearly resulted in a safety. Which would have made impossible to 88-yard completion. That was a blown call too.

  2. HenryJames said:

    November 8th, 2009 at 9:06 am

    That dude is Vasherized.

    1. Polo shirt? Check.
    2. Rayban Wayfarers? Check.
    3. Introduction to ethnic drink at girlfriend’s house in Whittier? Check.
    4. Now in town in Mexico of which he doesn’t know the name? Check.
    5. Camera work by someone named Van? Check.

  3. uthookem said:

    November 8th, 2009 at 9:13 am

    “Not playing a talent like Malcolm Williams when your replacements are James Kirkendoll, Greg Smith, and John Chiles.”

    People in the stands don’t seem to get why I begin cursing and mumbling to myself before the plays even start.

    What was worse, is that we seemed to alternate receiver groups. WTF is that? Was Williams gassed after the first, third, fifth drives? Fuck me.

  4. whoopspat said:

    November 8th, 2009 at 9:29 am

    Everything points to the Kansas game being well attended and loud. I’m excited.

  5. BrickHorn said:

    November 8th, 2009 at 9:30 am

    There seems to be one Saturday each fall that I’m unable to watch the Horns. Yesterday was that Saturday. I hate that feeling, and yesterday was even worse than normal. It was 0-0 late in the first quarter when my iPhone coverage basically went to shit for 4 hours. So, as might be expected, I was a miserable wretch of a husband/father until the radiant light of 3G coverage peeked from behind the clouds and delivered the long-awaited message: 35-3, Shipley sets record. I didn’t know what record until last night, when I finally reached civilization.

    So, what happened? From the stats, it looks like we basically dominated both sides of the ball, despite the slow start from the O.

  6. texoz said:

    November 8th, 2009 at 9:33 am

    With a clever OC this teams averages another 14 points a game and gets mentioned as one of the best teams of the last 20 years.

    Imagine how much better the defense is if we have Scott and better depth at DT?

    After OU lost to BYU and Simple Jack went down with a shoulder injury I prognosticated that it was the beginning of the end for Stoops and I’m sticking to that.

    We threw deep a lot yesterday. Maybe the most I can recall in a long time.

  7. LosHorn said:

    November 8th, 2009 at 9:40 am

    That I form play was eerily reminiscient of the safety in Lubbock last year. Handing the ball to your running back 4 yards deep in his own endzone on a slow developing play with an O-line protects like the French keeping the Nazi’s out of Paris is ALWAYS a bad idea.

  8. Uncle Bevo said:

    November 8th, 2009 at 11:18 am

    Well I wish I was in Austin
    At the Chili Parlor Bar
    Drinkin’ Mad Dog Margaritas
    And not carin’ where you are

    –Guy Clark, “Dublin Blues”

  9. Mike said:

    November 8th, 2009 at 11:19 am

    6. Taking the first michelada rather than giving it to his wife? Check.

  10. HenryJames said:

    November 8th, 2009 at 11:25 am

    Ha.

  11. Sailor Ripley said:

    November 8th, 2009 at 11:43 am

    Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!

  12. sizzlechest said:

    November 8th, 2009 at 12:10 pm

    This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we’ll be lucky to live through it.

  13. haydenhorn said:

    November 8th, 2009 at 1:09 pm

    “That I form play was eerily reminiscient of the safety in Lubbock last year. Handing the ball to your running back 4 yards deep in his own endzone on a slow developing play with an O-line protects like the French keeping the Nazi’s out of Paris is ALWAYS a bad idea.”

    yeah, a buddy of mine texted me during the game that greg davis must have some big balls to call the tech counter safety play.

  14. Johnnymac said:

    November 8th, 2009 at 1:31 pm

    Most Rice fans (or even people who just live in Houston) can tell you what a douchebag Todd Graham is. Serves him right to lose like they did.

    That call in the Bama game yesterday makes Jesus cry. I didn’t see it live, but I’ve heard elsewhere that overhead camera angle very clearly showed that he got a foot down in bounds but supposedly the TV coverage only showed that shot one time before repeatedly looping through the field level view that was decidedly more ambiguous. The corruption is everywhere and CBS obviously knows where it’s bread is buttered.

    Kind of strange to feel sorry for LSU, but they got jobbed there.

  15. Sasha is a Longhorn Dog said:

    November 8th, 2009 at 1:35 pm

    “We threw deep a lot yesterday. Maybe the most I can recall in a long time.”

    Probably because the coaches are starting to realize that we’ll need to throw deep in order to beat an SEC team in the NC. Those Ds are too fast to throw 5 or 6 yards all the time.

  16. Jigglebilly said:

    November 8th, 2009 at 1:59 pm

    How about that Shoutgun HB counter flea flicker play? That is how a ninja calls a game, but there are few so lucky as to have such a devastating weapon.

  17. Minnesotahorn said:

    November 8th, 2009 at 5:50 pm

    “Texas Chili Parlor burgers,”

    Those are good burgers dude. I hope you got the XXX chili on it.

  18. Princeton Horn said:

    November 8th, 2009 at 6:29 pm

    Greg Smith won the Boss Hawg award on the basis of 6 “knock-down” blocks. He is transitioning from Mastodon. I know he has a loser tag in these parts, but watch the game.

  19. Trips Right said:

    November 8th, 2009 at 6:42 pm

    He really helped us in the run game.

  20. Vasherized said:

    November 8th, 2009 at 7:48 pm

    Trips ordered the XX chili thinking it had Dos Equis in it.

    I’m curious to hear the rationalization from our coaches why Chiles deserves snaps at the expense of Malcolm Williams. He must be unstoppable in practice.

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