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GameWatch Week 10

Posted by Scipio Tex on November 6th, 2009 under Football

One of the coolest things about living in California, aside from paying taxes that makes Belgians wince, is the fact that college football is in full swing as I breakfast: usually a fiber-rich muesli bought fair trade from Andean Indiginos. After my exfoliating regimen, making a lease payment on my Range Rover, and my Scientology self-affirmations, I begin my game-watching.

Here are my games of interest. Let’s hear yours…

12:00 PM ET UCF at No. 2 Texas FSN

This game is of interest to…Texas fans. Our offense is currently averaging 319 yards per game against Big 12 opponents, ranked solidly behind Iowa State and Kansas State. Nice to see a C-USA team. Anything to get away from the juggernauts of CU and Tech.

12:00 PM ET Northwestern at No. 4 Iowa ESPN

Iowa is 9-0. Really. Them. This is a marvel as inexplicable as the Joanie Loves Chachi Happy Days spinoff. I will tune in during Texas game commercials to see Ricky Stanzi fire off bizarre interceptions and Northwestern QB Mike Kafka metamorphisize into a giant cockroach. Iowa is favored by…16.5? What am I missing?

12:21 PM ET South Carolina at Arkansas

O vs. D. I think Ole Ball Coach gonna take him a loss now. Dadgummit, Stephen Garcia! (slams visor, continues to live off of early 90’s reputation, SEC press fawns)

2:30 PM ET Navy at No. 22 Notre Dame NBC

You need something to tide you over until 3:30. Watching the Middies try to cover Golden Tate and Michael Floyd (now back from collarbone injury) should be interesting… I’d expect Navy to give their defense some grief

3:30 PM ET No. 9 LSU at No. 3 Alabama CBS

Must see. I have no idea what the over/under is but anything higher than 32 is ambitious. Alabama has real problems at LT and Greg McElroy is in regression. I expect that a heavy dose of Bama D and Mark Ingram is sufficient to get it done in a hard-hitting game.

3:30 PM ET No. 16 Ohio State at No. 11 Penn State CBS

Come for the pageantry! Stay for the punt exchanges! I’ll tune in occasionally to see what unique ways Jim Tressel has devised to prevent Pryor from ever being used appropriately. Psssst, he’s 6-6 245 and runs really well. Run some zone read. Some Michael Bishop-style lead draws. It’s legal. You’ll be amazed at how open your WRs get when he play actions off of it. All the field goals your little heart desires, Jimmy!

3:30 PM ET No. 8 Oregon at Stanford

The iron law of college football states that when a team with a program-defining victory goes on the road the following week and plays someone scrappy they’re going to need to bring it. I like Harbaugh a lot, but Oregon’s offense is a machine right now.

7:15 PM ET Vanderbilt at No. 1 Florida ESPN 2

You have to see HIM. If only for a moment.

8:00 PM ET No. 24 Oklahoma at Nebraska ABC

A much bigger game for both teams than the rankings or media attention would suggest. OU has a really solid chance of winning out if Suh doesn’t dismember OU’s interior OL and use their limbs to bludgeon Landry Jones to death. NU Freshman QB Cody Green is really going to be good, but not in this game. I expect Ryan Broyles to steal this game from the Huskers along with several gallons of premium unleaded.

What ya got?

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53 Responses

  1. p said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 12:54 am

    Priority 1- Texas

    Priority 2- Mad Hatter vs the Asshole

    There will be ISOs galore, and middle school level passing. Bama fans actually don’t know who their QB is, and Tiger fams are actually calling for Jarrett Lee. First one to 4 picks wins!

    Priority 3- Oregon Stanford

    I find it interesting to watch how every p10 team will find a way to hand the championship back to USC, no matter how man games the Trojans lose. We still have quite awhile before the pundits declare USC to be playing the best football in the country.

  2. CrazyJoeDavola said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 3:07 am

    You gripe about Ohio State/Penn State for the 3:30/2:30 ABC game. We flyovers get Oklahoma State/Iowa State. That feels like a “30 Rock” joke somehow.

    Also, I don’t think the SEC media cares much about Ol’ Ball Coach anymore. Their smug asshole tweaker golf prick of choice these days is the Kiffin.

  3. Guy said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 4:09 am

    Every preview involving OU by Texas fans or Texas by OU fans involves either Ryan Broyles stealing gas or Kindle crashing his car. Every. One.

  4. parlin said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 5:21 am

    1) You know UT is having trouble selling out when, the week of the game, they advance the opportunity to purchase tickets as “a very special offer to our faculty and staff.”

    2) Crick is actually the designated maimer of Landry Jones this week. OU still wins by 30.

    3) Clipper laughs at the taxes you pay. And you know that laugh.

  5. NBMisha said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 5:25 am

    Range Rover. Exactly. My wife has one of those.

    I’m going against the flow and see LSU dumping Bama. Bama has regressed from the team that rolled VTech (by 10, is that now embarassing rather than impressive?), and LSU seems to have some mo.

    Agree on Tressel and Pryor, how he misses this I can imagine. Who cares about the outcome?

    OU is an enigma. The D, it turns out, is not good enough to win on its own, and the O is just unreliable. But Nebraska won’t have enough this week.

    Surprise! Texas covers, and then some.

  6. Groundhogday said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 6:08 am

    I’m with you, Scipio. The most interesting game of the week is being played in your neck of the woods. I find the line in the Oregon Stanford game interesting. Obviously, the oddsmakers think this will be a close game. I like Harbaugh a lot as well and will be shocked if he is not coaching Michigan in the next 5 years. An upset would not surprise me here. Regardless, I think Oregon will drop at least one regular season game.

    Bama wins over the most overrated coach in college football.

    Two other games of interest.

    KU vs. KSU only because it might represent the North Winner

    And

    The Psycho Bowl. FSU vs. Clemson. Tune in for Psycho team one vs. Psycho team 2. Should be a highly entertaining night game. No clue which team will show up from either side.

  7. Vasherized said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 6:29 am

    While Scipio sits Bay-side on the rooftop deck in a Toby Gerhart jersey admiring the Cormorants while dining on a quinoa/flaxseed/semolina mash, we’ll be throwing washers, eating baby backs, calling in bets, and watching HenryJames grope hot coeds. Hopefully they’re girls this time.

    Given your vast resources, why not just fly in for gameday every week?

    I know Trips is excited for the SMU/Rice game and the half-yearly women’s sale at Nordstrom’s. It is week 10 after all.

    I’m partial to the LSU/Bama game.

    LSU has a decent chance to knock off Bama if they can score two (2!) touchdowns and maybe a few field goals. A safety is also nice for margin of victory in the SEC. Julio Jones is still banged up and the word is out on how to get to McElroy. They’ve had a week off to work on things but I like LSU here with the upset. Lafell and Tolliver get it done. Miles doesn’t lose the game for his team by deciding to stay in the locker room for the second half.

    Then Bama rallies in a few weeks to beat HIM and it’s Texas vs HawkNattiBoiseFrog.

  8. Hiphopopotamus said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 6:46 am

    Scipio: No mention of the Sunflower Showdown?! Tell me you won’t be watching that one on pins and needles.

  9. B.O.N. Lurker said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 7:16 am

    “and Northwestern QB Mike Kafka metamorphisize into a giant cockroach”

    You can call him a cockroach… just don’t bad-mouth Greg Smith.

  10. NateHeupel said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 7:31 am

    “…usually a fiber-rich muesli bought fair trade from Andean Indiginos”
    “After my exfoliating regimen, making a lease payment on my Range Rover, and my Scientology self-affirmations…”

    I am now more convinced than ever that the “character” of Clipper Cooper is actually just a slightly modernized depiction of your actual youth. The line “Guilt is the gratitude of the unworthy” was just too perfect to have been fiction.

  11. nordberg said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 7:32 am

    Did you use breakfast as a verb? Interesting.

  12. srr50 said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 7:40 am

    Iowa is favored by…16.5? What am I missing?

    Iowa’s schedule. Of the Top Five Teams Florida has played-and beaten, one team ranked in the Top 25 — #7 LSU

    Texas has played two teams ranked #19 Oklahoma State and #24 Oklahoma.
    Alabama has played one ranked team #23 Virginia Tech.

    Iowa as played three ranked teams, #11 Penn State, #18 Ariona and #21 Wisconsin. Of course Iowa plays down to the opposition as well so the 16.5 point spread looks a little high to me.

    As for OU-Nebraska, over the past 10 games the Sooners have given up zero points in the first quarter. They do that again tomorrow and I think Nebraska starts to press and OU wins easily.

  13. Travis said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 7:41 am

    Vash- I actually like lsu too, but if that does happen where do you see LSU’s other loss coming? If they win out they go to the SEC championship and get a rematch with HIM

  14. Gaffigan said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 7:59 am

    I like using inanimate objects as verbs. I’m going to sofa here for a few hours, then I’m going to sandwich in the afternoon.

  15. bob said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 8:00 am

    Tressel needs Greg Davis to not coach his QB for him

  16. NBMisha said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 8:16 am

    Some MBAatrix at work yesterday used the verb “conversate”. I threw up a little.

  17. Another dipshit poster said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 8:50 am

    Kafka reference was solid. You are one clever, well-read SOB.

  18. Groundhogday said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 9:01 am

    Travis,

    If LSU wins, it is very possible they lose to either Arkansas or Ole Miss.

  19. Bob in Houston said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 9:02 am

    I like Harbaugh a lot as well and will be shocked if he is not coaching Michigan in the next 5 years.

    It’s probably gonna take at least that long for U-M to get over him ripping the school for its academic standards for athletes. But, it wouldn’t be like UK deciding after two years of Gillispie that John Calipari didn’t seem quite so slimy after all.

  20. TXinDC said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 9:07 am

    Breakfast = ” The word is a compound of “break” and “fast,” referring to the conclusion of fasting since the previous day’s last meal.”
    To _break_ the _fast_. It’s a fucking verb, as well as a noun.

    Jesus, this place gets Kafka allusions in the posts but then cursory comprehension of English in the comments.

  21. spider said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 9:07 am

    Alabama has real problems at LT and Greg McElroy is in regression.

    This is the dawning
    of the age
    of Lazarius!
    Age of Lazarius!

  22. Vasherized said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 9:09 am

    Travis,

    While neither seem likely, Miles is always good for a head scratching loss so @ Ole Miss or home against Arky would qualify. If LSU somehow beat Bama and then Florida in their rematch, it would be interesting to see where they stack up in the computers with 1 strong loss vs an undefeated TCU/Iowa/Cincy/Boise. They would probably pass all those teams.

  23. Webster said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 9:14 am

    Breakfast is a verb. Save the height jokes.

  24. Rubbing Shit in Hair said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 9:27 am

    “Jesus, this place gets Kafka allusions in the posts but then cursory comprehension of English in the comments.”

    Wow, you sure knows your English and a lots about morning meals. Is you gonna send us (the unwashed) to the Penis Colony fer bein’ dumb?

  25. nordberg said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 9:33 am

    “Jesus, this place gets Kafka allusions in the posts but then cursory comprehension of English in the comments.”

    If it makes you feel any better, I didn’t get the Kafka allusions either. Once we stray too far from the foosball I start to get kind of lost.

  26. n-ea said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 9:44 am

    TAMU @ CU is a game I’m highly interested as a Longhorn. I think they’re probably the best team left on our schedule. They’ve been Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde thus far. This is somewhat of a statement game for them. Are they going to be the team that showed up versus OSU and TT or will they lay an egg like they did at KSU? Either way, Aggies are already popping off about our date on Thanksgiving. I want to see what to expect since they’re finally on TV again.

  27. BatesHorn said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 9:44 am

    Since Houston Nutt has appropriately pissed away every ounce of the expectations from the beginning of this season, now would be about the point he pulls out one of his pattened “Look who I haz upset” victories that kept him from getting fired for years at Arkansas.

  28. Art Vandelay said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 9:45 am

    I think the Horns continue to improve their resume Saturday against George O’Leary.

    Who will be keeping an eye on Brandon Spikes this Saturday?

    aTm is 5-0 when they are ignored by TV, and 0-3 when the red light comes on. There is a joke in there somewhere.

  29. nordberg said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 9:47 am

    No one looks quite as awesome in HD as George O’Leary.

  30. Rubbing Shit in Hair said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 9:49 am

    LBJ, er, TXinDC, when you get time could you breakdown the word supper? Is it derived from the word super? I think so, because it tastes so good…
    I’ll go back to rubbing shit in my hair and you go back to lobbyin’, or reducin’ the budget defecate.

  31. p said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 9:51 am

    “Their smug asshole tweaker golf prick of choice these days is the Kiffin.”

    Being a smug, asshole, tweaker, golf prick is a prerequisite for a job in the SEC. Rich Rod would make an excellent SEC coach, and Bob Stoops was groomed there.

    “Given your vast resources, why not just fly in for gameday every week?”

    Because CTJ insists on smoking those awful Diamond Crown #7 Pyramid Maduros, with his Grahams Vintage ‘77. Who wants to be seen with that cheap bastard?

    “Bama has regressed from the team that rolled VTech (by 10, is that now embarassing rather than impressive?)”
    - YES!!

  32. koufax said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 9:59 am

    Bob stoops was groomed in Iowa

  33. JP said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 10:03 am

    “Bob stoops was groomed in Iowa”

    Did he go with the Brazilian wax or landing strip?

  34. Woody Bombay said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 10:17 am

    Rubbing Shit in Hair,

    “Breakdown” is a noun. You used the verb phrase “break down,” which should be two words.

  35. mikecrabtree said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 10:26 am

    HAAAAAAAAAAAAA high-brow pubic hair reference. Dad said it couldn’t be done, JP said “Nay”.

  36. Rubbing Shit in Hair said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 10:31 am

    Thanks, WB
    People who rub shit in their hair are prone to such mistakes..

  37. Woody Bombay said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 10:43 am

    You should really stop doing that.

  38. spider said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 10:58 am

    aTm is 5-0 when they are ignored by TV, and 0-3 when the red light comes on. There is a joke in there somewhere.

    Schroedinger’s aggies?

    But they’re only on FCS Central vs. Colorado, so I guess they’ll be zombie aggies, now.

  39. t1climb1 said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 1:28 pm

    I think the Horns continue to improve their resume Saturday against George O’Leary.

    I see what you did there Art.

  40. hopefulhorn said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 2:22 pm

    “I am now more convinced than ever that the “character” of Clipper Cooper is actually just a slightly modernized depiction of your actual youth. The line “Guilt is the gratitude of the unworthy” was just too perfect to have been fiction.”

    Nate may be on to something here. That first graph had a definite whiff of:
    Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

  41. Scipio Tex said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 3:20 pm

    “I am now more convinced than ever that the “character” of Clipper Cooper is actually just a slightly modernized depiction of your actual youth. The line “Guilt is the gratitude of the unworthy” was just too perfect to have been fiction.”

    And

    “Nate may be on to something here. That first graph had a definite whiff of: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!”

    Sorry guys, your trail has run cold. I’m a product of Texas public schools, busing, and come from a family of teachers. Thoroughly middle class, I’m afraid.

  42. Huckleberry said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 3:25 pm

    Don’t sell yourself short, Scip. Anderson is the ghetto.

  43. srr50 said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 3:49 pm

    Don’t sell yourself short, Scip. Anderson is the ghetto.

    BS

    Their basketball team isn’t that good.

  44. Travis said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 4:05 pm

    Vash- If that were to happen I would love it, the more mass chaos at the top the better. If that does happen how would all that play out anyway… It’s going to be interesting to see how this next month finishes… It’s hard to see any other game than Texas vs Florida, but it would be great to see us play somebody else.

  45. Scipio Tex said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 4:18 pm

    srr50 -

    We lost state twice by a total of four points you ignorant slut.

  46. p said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 5:01 pm

    “Bob stoops was groomed in Iowa”-koufax

    He then left for the University of Florida, and landed a three-year stint as Steve Spurrier’s defensive coordinator. Hired after Florida gave up 62 points to Nebraska in the 1995 Fiesta Bowl,[9] he was given full powers over the Gators defense and was part of the Gators’ national championship win over Florida State in the 1996 Sugar Bowl.[10]

    It was with the Gators that the spotlight found Stoops and made him one of the hottest coaching names in the profession. Stoops’ success at Kansas State and Florida launched him to the top of the list of assistant coaches primed for head coaching positions in 1999.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Stoops

    Stoops got his jackassery from the king himself! He also acquired a license to wear a visor too.

  47. java said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 7:18 pm

    This highly entertaining thread regarding proper spelling and usage must be the result of a very good Longhorn football team. Life is good. Thanks all.

  48. srr50 said:

    November 6th, 2009 at 10:19 pm

    Anderson 14
    Austin Hi! 10

    Austin is knocked out of the playoffs.

    Somewhere tonight Clipper Cooper is feeling so expansive that he gave Brooke a piece of melba toast.

  49. Scipio Tex said:

    November 7th, 2009 at 1:09 am

    How sweet.

    Huckleberry can go eat a bag of shit. You hear me? A big bag of shit!

  50. Huckleberry said:

    November 7th, 2009 at 3:25 am

    We couldn’t hang with the ghetto kids. Not surprising that our high-class future leaders of America fell victim to the thugs of Anderson.

  51. Scipio Tex said:

    November 7th, 2009 at 1:15 pm

    The ghetto of Northwest Hills has slain the children of privilege from Tarrytown.

  52. parlin said:

    November 7th, 2009 at 1:39 pm

    “hath slain” is the preferred nomenclature.

  53. Free Blog hosting - Wordpress Technology - Make Money Blogging — Blog — Barking Carnival — Blog — Gamewatch Week 10 said:

    November 9th, 2009 at 11:00 pm

    [...] Since Houston Nutt has appropriately pissed away every ounce of the expectations from the beginning of this season, now would be about the point he pulls out one of his pattened “Look who I haz upset” victories that kept him from …. Wyoming’s offense is a hair better. Art Vandelay commented on the blog post The Undefeated 40 minutes ago. “I’ll never forget when I interviewed a girl who had been out of college for two years and she had a three and a half page resume.” …Read More… [...]

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    The shamrock is on his left shoulder. The Griffin looking thing is on his right.

  • ghostofagroundgame commented on the blog post NCAA Tournament Open Thread: Weekend Edition   10 hours, 51 minutes ago

    Everytime I see a Gumbel brother I think of “Gumbel to Gumbel”

  • Patrick Bateman commented on the blog post NCAA Tournament Open Thread: Weekend Edition   11 hours, 4 minutes ago

    Kentucky starting to pile on Wake. That would have been our fate…..

    KSU just killing the Mormons on the glass…

  • Patrick Bateman commented on the blog post NCAA Tournament Open Thread: Weekend Edition   11 hours, 31 minutes ago

    10 point lead for the Mormons again…

  • ghostofagroundgame commented on the blog post NCAA Tournament Open Thread: Weekend Edition   11 hours, 46 minutes ago

    This is the first-time Frank Martin has ever met a Mormon who wasn’t on a bicycle.