Football Articles
jones Top Ten – Week 9 – 2009
Posted by jonestopten on November 2nd, 2009 under Football
Consider the duck: a beautiful animal, regularly shot for the amusement, and dining pleasure, of the American people. In orange sauce in Chinatown, on tiny plates with toast points in fine restaurants, stuffed unceremoniously with chicken and then jammed, even less ceremoniously, into a turkey for a New Orleans Thanksgiving, our nation needs ducks. We have an entire conservation society founded on the premise that we require a limitless supply, so that we can continue to shoot them. Even the humanized duck finds only second billing. Our two most famous caricature ducks are supporting actors, second bananas, and unimpressive ones at that. Daffy presents equal parts annoying and moronic, with a healthy side of mental instability. Donald is a dim-witted curmudgeon, a step behind his mischievous nephews, Huey, Louie and Dewey. If that weren’t enough, the sailor suit suggests, uncomfortably, that he might be a good candidate for the Village People. Duck as noun finds its most positive connotation when the creatures are placidly pictured on a stamp, or on the wall of a country club card room. As verb, duck is no less inspiring, describing only a defensive action, usually accompanied by “and cover.”
Why a school would name their athletic team the ducks defies all rational explanation. And so does this statement:
Oregon 47
USC 20
Fear the Ducks.
On a crisp Saturday night in Autzen, the Ducks flew higher than a UVa frat boy at a Dave Matthews Band concert. USC got worked. USC, in the Pete Carroll era, does not get worked. The Trojans occasionally “stub their toe” or “falter” or “slip up” or wonder “who the hell is Jacquizz Rodgers and why can’t we tackle him?” But they do not get worked. Until Saturday. Oregon broke open a close first half with an offensive barrage that ended 600 yards deep into the night, with quarterback Jeremiah Masoli running for 164 yards and his backfield mate, tailback LaMichael James, slicing for another 183. Why yes, it was the most points and yards ever run up against Pete Carroll’s USC, even dating back to when they didn’t start eleven future NFL players on defense. This is not vintage USC; but give the Ducks credit. I opined before the season that Oregon lacked physical play on the offensive line and playmakers on defense. I was pretty smug when they went out and proved it in the opener against Boise State. I liked Cal better (yikes). But call me wrong on all counts at this point in a season where Chip Kelly has the clubhouse lead for coach of the year honors. Fear the Ducks, indeed.
In the other marquee national night game, Texas rolled Oklahoma State, 41-14. That is, if you can buy the assertion that a team gaining less than 300 yards in a game can roll anyone. It’s true in this case. The Texas defense dominated, forcing five turnovers and returning two picks for touchdowns. The Texas offense cashed in on good field position all night, only taking 52 snaps. Forget his early struggles, Colt McCoy’s defensive teammates will cost him the Heisman more surely than his own play—he threw only 21 passes, completing 16. After a couple of early breaks went against State, including a dropped TD pass, that’s all Texas needed him to do.
There is only one team in 2009 that fields more elite athletes than Texas (Oregon just proved that it is not USC). That would be the University of Florida. Just like the Longhorns, once the Gator defense dials in, you’re finished. Georgia tried to make a game of the annual brawl in Jacksonville, but after a TD brought them to within four points at 14-10, Tim Tebow went to work and the Gator defense gave him multiple opportunities, with no fear at all that the Bulldogs would answer. They didn’t. Gators 41, Dawgs 17 as Florida goes to a ridiculous 17-3 in their last 20 cocktail parties.
The most compelling football came courtesy, naturally, of the University of Iowa. The Hawkeyes stood on the precipice of being closed out by Indiana (for the love of God, Indiana?), before a five-carom interception in the Hoosier backfield resulted in an 86-yard TD return for Iowa. I’m certain it is available on YouTube by now. The Iowa’s (far) below average quarterback, Ricky Stanzi, went 92 yards and 66 yards for fourth quarter touchdowns, leading to a reasonably attractive 42-24 victory.
Penn State found similar trouble with Northwestern, trailing 13-10 at the half before turning on the fourth quarter afterburners in a 34-13 win.
The best game of the day was Miami’s whisker-thin 28-27 win over Wake Forest.
What else happened on Saturday? Well, not really a whole lot. The day gave boring a bad name, for the most part. Ohio State played New Mexico State; LSU played Tulane. Boise State and TCU continued their game of outsider one upsmanship by routing San Jose State and UNLV. Cincinnati’s back-up quarterback threw four more TDs and, yes, they count even if they came against Syracuse. Quickly rising Pitt didn’t play at all. Neither did Alabama, nor Arizona, who cracked the top 25 for the first time this season.
Tennessee did produce a fairly shocking result by appearing after warm-ups in Halloween black jerseys and then proceeding to destroy South Carolina, forcing three fumbles in a 31-13 win, Lane Kiffin’s first over a ranked team.
Auburn did not throw in the towel this week, instead adding to the Ole Miss embarrassment tour with a 33-20 win over the Rebels, who were barely clinging to national relevance anyway.
Georgia Tech inexplicably gave up 28 first half points to Vanderbilt, before running away in the second half for a 56-31 win.
Case Keenum threw for 559 yards and five touchdowns. Houston needed every bit of it, surviving Southern Miss, 50-43.
Utah continues to just win, baby. The Utes struggled, but eventually put away Wyoming, 22-10.
Oklahoma, the only other ranked team in the Big 12 aside from Texas and Oklahoma State, took a 21-0 lead and salted away Kansas State (the surprise leaders of the Big 12 North), 42-30.
Notre Dame crushed Wazzu, 40-14 in San Antonio, obviously where Notre Dame would play Washington State.
Some of the best action in the college football week came before Saturday. On Thursday, North Carolina found some offense—the defense has played well all year—and upset Virginia Tech, 20-17. On Friday, South Florida, looking to restore some pride after two straight losses, handed West Virginia a 30-17 loss.
Impressive Showing of the Week: Oregon
1. Texas
2. Florida
3. Alabama
4. Oregon
5. Cincinnati
6. LSU
7. TCU
8. Iowa
9. Boise State
10. Temple
Share This
13 Responses
Leave a Reply
Related Articles
-
9
jones Top Ten – Week Fourteen – 2009
By jonestopten on December 6th, 2009 -
12
jones Top Ten – Week Ten – 2009
By jonestopten on November 9th, 2009 -
4
jones Top Ten – Week Twelve – 2009
By jonestopten on November 22nd, 2009 -
8
jones Top Ten – Week Six – 2009
By jonestopten on October 12th, 2009 -
11
jones Top Ten – Week Eight – 2009
By jonestopten on October 26th, 2009
Activity
-
Nate Heupel wrote a new blog post: Metoyer Commits to OU and a Brief Commentary on Life ago
In these dark and desperate times, sometimes a little good news goes a long way. For example, my wife just had our first child, we haven’t had sex in 5 weeks, and I just discovered that the two issues are entirely unrelated. Essentially, my existence is a combination of the worst parts of
SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });
-
GoHornsGo90 commented on the blog post There’s Something about Avery. 2 minutes ago
This team makes me feel like I have all this weight on my shoulders and I can’t get it off my back to just breath and walk freely.
Yeah there are times that it goes away, like when we get another football recruit not named Chet or Taylor. Or when I think about a starting
-
GoHornsGo90 commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Baylor: Post-Mortem, kinda 14 minutes ago
smh:
The Travelocity at PG made the entire day worth it. That was freakin’ hilarious
beowulf:
You took what I would try to say and made it, you know, really fucking funny.
-
Ojnab Bob commented on the blog post Rick Reilly Is A Walking Amber Alert 25 minutes ago
Rick Reilly’s articles invariably remind me of that Simpsons episode where Bart becomes a TV celebrity with his saccharine “Bart’s People”. I almost expect Rick to end each column with “Hmmm… really makes you think.”
-
ursa major wrote a new blog post: Baylor v. Kansas State – Preview 31 minutes ago
Loss in Waco = Win in Kansas City?
Tonight the Bears get their second crack of the year at Kansas State. The first time we played K State in Waco, we managed to lose the game despite being more efficient than K State offensively. While K State did outshoot us by 9%, and outrebounded us 36-32,
SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });
-
Kevin Berger commented on the blog post Guard Play: You Have it or You don’t Have IT 31 minutes ago
Thanks, St. Emilion.
That’s a good choice, but UNC was so good that Ty didn’t stand out as much as he should have.
Mateen Cleaves, Khalid El Amin, Ty Edney, those were some other tournament war daddies that come to mind along with Lawson.
SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });
-
kevwun commented on the blog post There’s Something about Avery. 32 minutes ago
That is the most awesome analogy in the history of analogies, imo. Seriously, I usually don’t like them because they rarely ever actually describe a situation well, but that one is perfect.
-
Orangeblood79 commented on the blog post There’s Something about Avery… 56 minutes ago
I’m so fucking sick of this team.
-
Nickel Rover commented on the blog post There’s Something about Avery… 1 hour, 2 minutes ago
Ugh…if Hamilton and Bradley ditch for the NBA I’ll start to move out of the Rick Barnes camp because this team doesn’t have a great contingency for that event. Especially if Varez Ward can’t come back healthy.
That would take away probably the 2 best shooters on the team and replace them with Dogus, Ward, Brown, -
Patrick Bateman commented on the blog post There’s Something about Avery… 1 hour, 5 minutes ago
Ha, ha…..Got me there Ursa. Was typing fast. Good catch.
-
Patrick Bateman commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Baylor: Post-Mortem, kinda 1 hour, 6 minutes ago
Milk,
I don’t think JCB is going to sit at the end of the bench though. He needs to understand what his coach and team needs. Better sustained effort, better ball protection, and better defense. He has offensive skills that someone like Justin Mason just doesn’t possess, but yet lacks the physical talent
-
ursa major commented on the blog post There’s Something about Avery… 1 hour, 10 minutes ago
Is Kyle Lomers Josh Lomers alter-ego? Or is Kyle the “girl” he sometimes dresses up as?
Either works.
-
GoHornsGo90 commented on the blog post There’s Something about Avery… 1 hour, 11 minutes ago
George Hill is physically intimidating–he’s ripped and extremely strong. Bradley is extremely weak and has TERRIBLE upper-body strength. This directly correlates with his miserable finishing ability (or lack of).
-
Patrick Bateman commented on the blog post There’s Something about Avery… 1 hour, 15 minutes ago
I think AB had had an extremely good freshman season and very much agree that he’s hit that freshman wall. AB still has a lot of work to do. Comparing him to the 24 year old Hill may be a disservice to Avery, but I understand where your trying to go. I
-
jonestopten wrote a new blog post: There’s Something about Avery. 1 hour, 29 minutes ago
Trips Right’s 33 volume Decline and Fall of Texas Basketball has not only been required post-disaster therapy for the Longhorn basketball fan (what is your hourly rate, anyway?) but also merits combat pay from BC’s executive management.But there is one organ left in the vivisection of Rick Barnes that keeps bugging me: his arguably atrocious
-
ghostofagroundgame wrote a new blog post: Arshavin is the Best 1 hour, 49 minutes ago
Andrey Arshavin has a website where he takes questions from his fans and, apparently, types his own responses. It is AMAZING.
There is really almost nothing that I can add to this, but it’s so great it deserves its own post. Among the highlights — Arshavin giving marriage advice, Arshavin discussing whether he considers rain to
SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });
-
Magnus Bleuveigner commented on the blog post Notre Dame Football: Images of the Decade (2000-2009) 1 hour, 54 minutes ago
Thanks Whiskey, but I’m too busy tryinig to verify if Colt and Shipley were indeed room mates.
It’s a joke. They always talked about him boxing, though I agree, he’s a tough dude. I loved the way he fearlessly returned punts straight up the gut at 100mph.
SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });
-
texasengr commented on the blog post Rick Reilly Is A Walking Amber Alert 1 hour, 56 minutes ago
I absolutely hate Rick Reilly. He’s the single most annoying ESPN “analyst”… by far. He would be at home on CNN.
But since the following sentence appears to be right on the tip of your tongue the entire article, I’ll go ahead and say it. Fuck liberals. Look no further than the UK if you
-
Kevin Berger wrote a new blog post: Guard Play: You Have it or You don’t Have IT 1 hour, 56 minutes ago
The best guards are puported to come from Chicago, Illinois because in the windy city, you either score at the goal, or you risk having our J pushed two feet off the mark thanks to the 30 mph winds whipping off Lake Michigan.
To that point about guard play, watching the Big East tournament
SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });
-
Ag_in_TX wrote a new blog post: Mike Leach with some VERY hot sports opinions 2 hours, 36 minutes ago
Mike Leach after game speeches
Wow. Orangebloods got ahold of some videos of Mike Leach’s after game speeches. Good Lord. More f-bombs than a Quniton Tarintino movie. After the Baylor game – language is highly NSFW:
“We thought we were too good to play Texas Fuckin’ A&M”
SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });
-
Kevin Berger commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Baylor: Post-Mortem, kinda 2 hours, 43 minutes ago
milksteak, I don’t think that’ll be a problem.
-
ghostofagroundgame commented on the blog post Rick Reilly Is A Walking Amber Alert 2 hours, 44 minutes ago
Yeah man, Northside v. Southside is old, old news, as is the bas blood there. Booker T is up around Acres Homes, and Yates is in the 3rd Ward.
-
Magnus Bleuveigner commented on the blog post Rick Reilly Is A Walking Amber Alert 2 hours, 46 minutes ago
Or worse….
-
ghostofagroundgame commented on the blog post That Silly Away Goals Rule 2 hours, 51 minutes ago
Yeah, but here’s the thing — you have to have some way to resolve draws. Endless extra time is impractical, because these games are played in the midst of regular league and domestic cup features — you just can’t play that much extar football. Penalty shots are even more arbitrary than away goals.
SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });
-
Jorgrama commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Baylor: Post-Mortem, kinda 2 hours, 55 minutes ago
DO you guys think Brown will be back with the team next year or do you think there’ll be some fallout in general?
-
P.Drez commented on the blog post Tuesday Champions League: Quick Rundown 3 hours, 6 minutes ago
Ha, well put. I don’t think Arsenal will survive the quarterfinals unless they draw Sevilla. The field is too strong for them.
SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });
-
P.Drez commented on the blog post That Silly Away Goals Rule 3 hours, 7 minutes ago
Mistakes from nerves should not be a reason to unjustly allow one goal to count as two. It goes against the true laws of the game. No other sport has a “point” (goal in this case) scored by one team counting for more than what it would for the other team. It
SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });
-
baylorbeer commented on the blog post Baylor v. Texas – Postgame 3 hours, 13 minutes ago
Tweety and Lace are passionate. They are great team leaders. I love it when I see them jabbering creole at UT, showing they are absolutely not intimidated even though for some reason everyone else in the country thinks they should be. This includes the officials – John Higgens really needs to get
SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });
-
Hiphopopotamus commented on the blog post Big XII Tourney: Day Three 3 hours, 26 minutes ago
Ginger: This team is just so content most of the time, though…drives me crazy.
I thought yesterday was the perfect example of why we could win it all, or get clipped at any time, as I’ve been harping for months now. If a team is fighting (and every team in the tourney will be), we just
SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });
-
Hiphopopotamus commented on the blog post Big XII Tourney: Day Three 3 hours, 26 minutes ago
Ginger: This team is just so content most of the time, though…drives me crazy.
I thought yesterday was the perfect example of why we could win it all, or get clipped at any time, as I’ve been harping for months now. If a team is fighting (and every team in the tourney will be), we just
SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });
HelmetBoy said:
November 2nd, 2009 at 5:26 am
“Even the humanized ducks find only second billing.”
This line quacked me up.
Bob said:
November 2nd, 2009 at 6:50 am
Temple Wildcats?
L.S. said:
November 2nd, 2009 at 7:05 am
I’d go with South Lake or Abilene. My teammates have let me down all year..
spider said:
November 2nd, 2009 at 7:23 am
Well, let’s hope Texas can keep it going next Saturday against UCF, so as not to repeat the disaster of last year:
jonestopten said:
November 2nd, 2009 at 7:42 am
Glad someone noticed…
The Temple Owls, 6-2 and undefeated in the MAC. Beat Navy this week.
No, they are not one of the best ten teams in the country. They are just this year’s Buffalo; except Temple may have an even worse football tradition.
MajnunRedfoot said:
November 2nd, 2009 at 8:13 am
I guess the whole “flip the light switch” touch tradition at Temple has really helped them out.
beowulf said:
November 2nd, 2009 at 9:30 am
I would put TCU #5, but I enjoyed the read very much. One of your best.
tree said:
November 2nd, 2009 at 9:30 am
Here is another verb form of duck: Go “Duck” yourself
TXinDC said:
November 2nd, 2009 at 9:52 am
So is that Jevan Snead still a top 5 pick in the draft? hmm?
parlinhall said:
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:23 am
Jones, your opening is uncannily close to an early work by David Mamet, “The Duck Variations.” In which two old men sit on a park bench and discuss ducks. Here’s an excerpt:
“But this much we do know. As long as the duck exists, he will battle day and night, sick and well with the Heron, for so is it writ. And as long as the sky is made dark with the wing of the Monster Bird, the Heron will feast on duck.”
It’s hard not to sense relevance to Oregon’s situation.
jonestopten said:
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:43 am
Three David Mamet sentences without a single expletive, must be a very early work. Thanks for the cool reference.
The Bobs said:
November 2nd, 2009 at 1:48 pm
“Our two most famous caricature ducks are supporting actors, second bananas, and unimpressive ones at that.”
Whooooa there!
Donald, sure. But calling Daffy Duck “unimpressive”? That’s just…. dethhh-picable!
Oregon vs. Boise State = the Donald Duck of Ducks…
Oregon vs. USC = the Daffy Duck of Ducks – at least in terms of greatness, although, frankly, if that game were a cartoon, the Trojans would be played by Daffy – constant magnificent failure – their feathers repeatedly blown up, yet retaining their essential arrogance…
jonestopten said:
November 2nd, 2009 at 2:09 pm
“…the Trojans would be played by Daffy – constant magnificent failure – their feathers repeatedly blown up, yet retaining their essential arrogance…”
Wow–now that’s a metaphor.