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The list of things I have done so far today due to Lack of Focusness:
Woke up at 6 AM. Attempted to engage in usual of fantasy of Kristin Kreuk prancing around the room in a thong, but was sabotaged by thoughts of Chief Googly Eyes and his shoulder injury. Dammit. No Kristin. This is going to be a bad day.
Took a shower at 6:15- thought about that Okie Noodler Freak Sailor put up on the site and visibly shuddered while making a Gahhh sound. Decided to scrub an extra thirty minutes or so to feel clean inducing first degree burns before running out of hot water. Freaking Okies.
Limped through breakfast at 7 in a daze, gave the wrong cereal to each kid and made the boy a sandwich out of two heels and a bunch of cheese cubes left over from a party last night for his lunch. He watches me with a sense of cautious wariness. Forced a massive overripe pear in the side pouch of his lunch bag for nutritional balance. There, see. Healthy goodness. His caution relents. Though I’m not sure I’d even eat that. Probably get a call from the school later today about that.
Let both kids dress themselves while scanning sportscenter at 7:30, the boy comes back up with UT shorts and a thin Gap wifebeater. The girl some kind of short dress with bows or something all over it and the wrong color shoes. Fine, whatever. Drop them off at the bus-stop realizing it’s about 50 degrees outside. All of the other parents/children have coats and long sleeves. One of them has a parka. The boy looks at me even more suspiciously and starts shivering. I tell him to run in place a bit before escaping back into the warm car. Probably get a call from the school later today about that.
Go into autopilot driving to work at 8 and realize I took the old exit that I used to take, the one that doesn’t go where I am actually supposed to be going today, and just extended my drive by about half an hour. Fuck. Dudley and Bob start playing the damn BeyOUnce video over and over making fun of the DJ’s who made it, apparently they know them. They start arguing over whether one of them is a boy or a girl- typical problem with Okies, and I briefly consider wrapping my car around a Starbucks as that song gets stuck in my head.
Give a talk to about 50 people at 9 AM- have neglected to research the topic and frequently stare off into space when asked a question. Pretend I am demonstrating common symptoms of Vascular Dementia (the subject of the talk) to cover for these lapses. Make up some statistics about response to therapy and treatment options. They don’t appear to buy it. Probably get a call from the chair later today about that.
Answer questions after the talk while wondering if Kindle can get to Bradford early the whole time in my head. Someone is concerned that their family member may have this, what should they do? Respond that they should mix underneath zone and come on delayed blitzes, just like BYU did. They wander off and ask someone else.
Go across the street to grab some coffee at 9:45. Start thinking about Rhett Bomar rolling around on the ground and start belly laughing really loud in a quiet room, visibly startling the Barista. Inadvertently put 9 shots of Hazelnut in a small coffee, rendering it undrinkable. Throw coffee away and head back to the office.
Sit down to finish some paperwork and planning for next week and realize I am not going to get a thing done today. Watch the BeyOUnce video again wondering how we share a gene pool with these people. We’re probably closer to chimps. Or squirrels.
Decide to organize my office at 10 am- it’ll be productive and cathartic. Start with my bookshelf with the Limited Issue SI National Champion hardback with Vince in the confetti on the front, the commemorative Rose Bowl football and the Best. Ever. Texas Monthly. Stare at shelf for 30 minutes without moving. Decide to organize the office next week.
Look at schedule for this afternoon. Way too busy. Have my assistant cancel anyone who isn’t dying and doesn’t have my home number. Consider telling everyone else they have Lyme disease in order to save time. Confusing and undetectable, I can quickly shoo them out with some antibiotics and recant next week. Say some more tests came back. Genius. I’ll be out by 4. Probably get a call from the medical director about that.
Flip over to BC at 11:00 to find out what everyone else is doing today while pretending to work or act like Armageddon isn’t happening tomorrow. I’m up for just about anything at this point that makes 24 hours go by faster that doesn’t involve hanging out with HenryJames.
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Kevin Berger wrote a new blog post: Round 2 Saturday Recaps 6 hours, 28 minutes ago
We talked about the upset of the decade in this post, but I watched some other great basketball today I’d like to comment on.
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Just a phenomenal game.
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Udoh was a fargging beast in that game. Very athletic player.
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Jesus. I think I see four horseman on the horizon.
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Kevin Berger wrote a new blog post: Madness Magic: Northern Iowa Upsets Kansas 7 hours, 20 minutes ago
Today reminded me why I love this tournament so much. A good friend of mine mentioned to me that college basketball is the great equalizer of all athletic endeavors. At least of the sports we care about. He’s right.
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Nate Heupel commented on the blog post Because We’re Dedicated To Doing Stupid Things – Tiny Gallon Reportedly Took Payout 7 hours, 24 minutes ago
Patrick,
Unless you’re completely retarded, you know precisely what I meant. The closest any Big 12 team has gotten to winning the infamous Fuller Cup is the 2007 Texas squad. I can’t remember a team being that horribly undisciplined as a whole aside from the insane OU teams of the 80’s. That’s not
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Nate Heupel commented on the blog post Because We’re Dedicated To Doing Stupid Things – Tiny Gallon Reportedly Took Payout 7 hours, 24 minutes ago
Patrick,
Unless you’re completely retarded, you know precisely what I meant. The closest any Big 12 team has gotten to winning the infamous Fulmer Cup is the 2007 Texas squad. I can’t remember a team being that horribly undisciplined as a whole aside from the insane OU teams of the 80’s. That’s not
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Sailor Ripley wrote a new blog post: This Is Sparta! 7 hours, 37 minutes ago
Please make yourself welcome and Adam will be by shortly to keep you up to date on all Michigan State Spartan happenings.
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Nickel Rover commented on the blog post Barnes worst team 7 hours, 41 minutes ago
I suppose anyone could be your “favorite Longhorn basketball player” but Ford did more than just about anyone…although Durant is clearly better. Ford’s supporting cast was better than Durant’s in his sophomore year. Durant’s had more talent (Augustin, James, Abrams) but Ford’s was more developed (Boddicker, Ivey, Mouton, Thomas) and had worked with him for
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Nickel Rover commented on the blog post Bradley or Hamilton? 7 hours, 48 minutes ago
Crazy Joe, your thoughts intrigue me and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
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Nickel Rover commented on the blog post Bradley or Hamilton? 7 hours, 51 minutes ago
This notion of Hamilton as being a disaster area on defense is all a bit much. He rebounds extremely well which, if it wasn’t obvious, is extremely important in this game since it secures possession of the basketball. Winning in basketball is achieved through the scoring of baskets and it’s necessary to possess the basketball
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Ojnab Bob commented on the blog post Best Opening Round I Can Remember 8 hours, 1 minute ago
I posted earlier about how Collins’ effort just crippled Kansas today, but what amazed me the most was his complete inability to stay in front of his man on defense. UNI got a LOT of good looks out of penetration/pass after one of UNI’s modestly gifted athletes blew right by Sherron. The best
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Scipio Tex wrote a new blog post: Best Opening Round I Can Remember 9 hours, 13 minutes ago
At least it’s shaping up that way if Sunday delivers.
As disappointed as I was in last year’s opening weekend of March Madness, this one is exceeding all expectations. Putting aside the fact that my bracket now resembles Kabul after the Taliban rolled through in ‘96 – a map of ordered failure –
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J commented on the blog post Bid Dance: Day Three 9 hours, 40 minutes ago
Thanks for the kind words, Trips.
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J commented on the blog post Bid Dance: Day Three 9 hours, 40 minutes ago
You know who’s bitter and angry as fuck? This guy —> ME.
I can only hope our returning players (whoever that may be) remember this and realize they need to play motivated EVERY FUCKING GAME and put forward 40 MINUTES of effort each game.
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Raoul Duke commented on the blog post Rumor Alert–TMG 10 hours, 12 minutes ago
Kid seems like a fantastic collegiate player. I haven’t seen any NBA info. Is he a legit prospect?
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Raoul Duke commented on the blog post Bid Dance: Day Three 10 hours, 18 minutes ago
Tough day for Sherron on O and D.
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GoHornsGo90 commented on the blog post Bradley or Hamilton? 11 hours, 3 minutes ago
To leave or stay?
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Patrick Bateman commented on the blog post NCAA Tournament Open Thread: Weekend Edition 11 hours, 4 minutes ago
KSU moving on led by a hot shooting Pullen. BTW, White Mormons can shoot FTs. 22 for 25, I think. Imagine if we could shoot like that.
Wake’s coming back on Kentucky. They’re within 25 right now…..
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Trips Right commented on the blog post Bid Dance: Day Three 11 hours, 22 minutes ago
Just wanted to say I feel for you guys. As a Texas fan I know how this feels even if it’s from a football perspective.
I still think you’re the best basketball team in the country, and unfortunately you ran into a team that packed a Villanova circa 1985 type game today. Meaning they
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ghostofagroundgame commented on the blog post NCAA Tournament Open Thread: Weekend Edition 11 hours, 31 minutes ago
Wow. Wake won’t break 50. Not surprising really — we should have beaten Wake and they are not a very good team.
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Patrick Bateman commented on the blog post NCAA Tournament Open Thread: Weekend Edition 11 hours, 37 minutes ago
Kentucky doing their best to beat Wake by half hundred. Close call….
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RRR wrote a new blog post: Survive and Advance 11 hours, 40 minutes ago
We really struggled in the first half, but battled through it to get a tough win against Jacksonville. On to Oxford!
Forget what conference they play in, Jacksonville is a very good basketball team, and they got to Lubbock not because of a crazy bank shot at the buzzer in Phoenix, but by playing aggressive, intense defense for
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ghostofagroundgame commented on the blog post NCAA Tournament Open Thread: Weekend Edition 11 hours, 58 minutes ago
The shamrock is on his left shoulder. The Griffin looking thing is on his right.
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ghostofagroundgame commented on the blog post NCAA Tournament Open Thread: Weekend Edition 12 hours, 7 minutes ago
Everytime I see a Gumbel brother I think of “Gumbel to Gumbel”
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Patrick Bateman commented on the blog post NCAA Tournament Open Thread: Weekend Edition 12 hours, 20 minutes ago
Kentucky starting to pile on Wake. That would have been our fate…..
KSU just killing the Mormons on the glass…
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Patrick Bateman commented on the blog post NCAA Tournament Open Thread: Weekend Edition 12 hours, 47 minutes ago
10 point lead for the Mormons again…
Art Vandelay said:
October 16th, 2009 at 9:18 am
Beautiful. I suggest flipping a coin prior to the Lyme disease diagnosis.
On a related note – I’m going to a TX/OU party tonight hosted by a mixed couple (one Longhorn, one Aggie). The husband is a nice guy but a tried and true Aggie. No doubt he uses the word “t-sip” 4-5 times tonight. I need help with responses to the unavoidable question that will he will ask me…. “Ags are starting to come around… huh?”
Keep in mind he has opened his house to us, and has free booze and food.
Boddicker Is Clutch said:
October 16th, 2009 at 9:23 am
Wow thats quite a bit you got done there.
Ive been staring at my computer hitting refresh on Barking Carnival and Burnt Orange Nation for the past 3 1/2 hours.
Only 23 1/2 more to go.
magnusbleuveigner said:
October 16th, 2009 at 9:25 am
Didn’t sleep for shit last night. For some reason I kept thinking about the Quan block from last years game. The I realized how much we’re going to miss him along with other seniors from that game. I start fretting, “can we do it without Orakpo, Miller, and Ogbannaya?” I make myself have positive thoughts about our DL vs. their OL, and fall back asleep counting sacks.
I wake up to my girlfriend laughing about me having a UT shirt laid out for work. I know it’s ridiculous. I shouldn’t have to deal with this sort of ridicule. We proceed to get in an arguement as I tell her that if she’s watching the game with me, she isn’t sleeping in. My Dreamwagon leaves at 9 sharp, with or without her.
I get to work and me and my Okie co-worker lock eyes like when Dale and Brennan met out in front of Dr. Doback’s house. He’s decked out in hideous Okie colors, I’m in glorious burnt orange. An awkward silence befalls the workplace.
I’ve been doing a whole lot more delegating than usual. Just as aloof and out of it as Doperbo. Yeah, or Naw is about the only response I’m capable of.
I’ve already heard the, “it’s just a gaaame” bullshit. Whether or not I can watch another collegiate football game again this year hangs in the balance, and I desperately want to watch ND/USC.
The General said:
October 16th, 2009 at 9:28 am
11:15 Absently wonder when BC will have the ‘Boss Button’ that turns this into a spread sheet so I don’t get fired.
ChicagoTTU said:
October 16th, 2009 at 9:36 am
I just told my creative director he shouldn’t expect to see anything from me today because I have too much online reading regarding UT/OU, Tech/Nebraska, USC/ND…. That, and because it’s raining outside… No complaints, just a head nod, like I just told him I can’t take the mound because it’s Yom Kippur or something…
Earlier today, I scribbled “Fuck you, Lee Corso!” in a meeting.
texoz said:
October 16th, 2009 at 9:37 am
It’s days like this that I love the fact that I work from home. Until of course my 2 little rugrats return from shcool and infest my little slice of burnt orange paradise.
I think I’ll sprinkle a variety of vegetables around my door. No way in Hell they’ll cross that moat.
fritz said:
October 16th, 2009 at 9:39 am
Hilarious.
Right before I read this, three guys were in my cube. “First silicon back from the customer shows that there is a multi hot in the bypass scan chain. I’d like to look at waveforms from the bidirectional switch model and see if our x state propagation is pessimistic enough…”
I was looking out the window thinking, “By this time tomorrow, the first quarter will be half over. I wonder how our special teams will look?”
goosehorn said:
October 16th, 2009 at 9:40 am
I hate this waiting. I srsly can’t wait to not be at work so I can see the BeyOUnce video though.
HenryJames said:
October 16th, 2009 at 9:44 am
Stop calling me about my ‘annual prostate exam and hernia check.’ You’re not my doctor.
uthookem said:
October 16th, 2009 at 9:59 am
I’ve been in a meeting for two hours watching a lazy coworker finally catch some flack from mgmt. I am happy about that, but absolutely going nuts on the inside.
I think I may leave very early today. Go mow the yard, cut down some shit, and get ready to fly to Dallas tomorrow morning.
Hook ‘em!
magnusbleuveigner said:
October 16th, 2009 at 10:00 am
texoz,
Because of your spelling of “shcool” I read your entire post in Sean Connery voice. Thank you, now I’ll be saying “yesh, yesh” all day long.
BrickHorn said:
October 16th, 2009 at 10:05 am
I wish I had a stress free job like doctors where I could lose focus without serious consequences. If I don’t perform, I don’t make money. If y’all don’t perform, all that happens is some douche you couldn’t care less about dies an unnecessarily young death.
magnusbleuveigner said:
October 16th, 2009 at 10:09 am
Hence the high malpractice insurance.
Sonny Crawford said:
October 16th, 2009 at 10:21 am
In a daze, I stare out the window of my Anarene High classroom at two dogs fucking in the school yard. This day will never end…
Vasherized said:
October 16th, 2009 at 10:28 am
Stop calling me about my ‘annual prostate exam and hernia check.’ You’re not my doctor.
whizbang!
BatesHorn said:
October 16th, 2009 at 10:38 am
I just threw in the towel, and wrote on the board that I was working from home this afternoon. I’m worried my boss is going to catch me watching Vince Young highlights.
I rescheduled a meeting with congressional staff this morning because I couldn’t pull myself away from BC and BON. Seriously.
It’s supposed to rain all weekend, so I don’t even need to worry about soccer tomorrow. The chances my kids do anything other than watch scooby doo videos tomorrow is rapidly approaching zero.
dick said:
October 16th, 2009 at 10:40 am
I’m about to go play golf on this beautiful 75 degree sunny day.
My usual golf prick self would shoot low 80s but I’m so freaking on edge that I am expecting high 90s. Actually maybe I should try the Kristin Kreuk thing before I go play.
I didn’t sleep for shit last night either.
Doperbo said:
October 16th, 2009 at 10:44 am
Obviously, we can all focus for a minute or two if it’s really life and death, Brick. I mean we all know what’s really important.
The OU Game.
Dammit. You tricked me somehow.
Lowery said:
October 16th, 2009 at 11:19 am
I’m spending too much brain power planning my daughters nap tomorrow.
Minnesotahorn said:
October 16th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
Outstanding.
Had a happy hour last night and ended up discussing the OU game with a coworker and I looked up and it was midnight. Woke up this morning and saw that it was about nine and tried to figure out what on earth I would do with myself to fill those last two hours before kickoff. I was half way through my morning constitutional before I realized that it was only Friday and that my office was, in fact, open for business today.
On that note, just how long is Corporate America going to persist with this charade? I mean I know I’m not working. Neglected emails and voicemails dictate that my clients must know I’m not working. My drawings of Sergio Kindle removing Sam Bradford’s arm and sodomizing him with it on the conference room table would seem to indicate to my bosses that I’m not working. And yet the business world steadfastly refuses to close down this week, obstinately pretending that there ought to be some shred of human productivity.
iamthepush said:
October 16th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
For some reason all I can hear is the theme song from people’s court. And when I shut my eyes I see Bradford face to face with me. God I cannot wait for tomorrow.
Doperbo said:
October 16th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
The plan isn’t working! Apparently Lyme disease isn’t native to TX. Who knew? Austinites, that’s who. Damn our young healthy well-read populace.
Thanks for the replies though, it’s helping me cope. 20 hours ’til the Dreamwagon takes off (yes I’m stealing that magnus).
ponderos said:
October 16th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
You listen to Dudley and Bob in the mornings.
’nuff said.
The General said:
October 16th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
Go with Lupus.
Sailor Ripley said:
October 16th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
I recently discovered some photos of the Dreamwagon in use:
Misterserious7 said:
October 16th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Nice socks Greg.
HenryJames said:
October 16th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
Greg Davis and fiery cart crashes.
ransomstoddard said:
October 16th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
I think I mumbled “fine, whatever” when the engineers came in waving some kind of report showing our Problem Well has been made seriously worse by the frac job they talked me into last week. They slunk out, looking more panicked than before.
uthookem said:
October 16th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
Bill looks like he just found Greg’s 19th hole.
NateHeupel said:
October 16th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
Kristin Kreuk? That’s quite an interesting choice. Where exactly did that come from, Doperbo? I’m not arguing about the merits, just curious about the source.
Oh, as for your healthy, young, well-read populace? You mean just on the 40 acres, right? Because I’ve seen the rest of Austin’s populace. None of the above modifiers apply until you hit the ‘burbs.
And why have you watched the BeyOUnce video TWICE? I got through 30 seconds of that bastard, shut the lid on my laptop, calmly stood up, walked out my front door, and promptly kicked a small child 15 feet off of his tricycle.
HenryJames said:
October 16th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
Oh, as for your healthy, young, well-read populace? You mean just on the 40 acres, right? Because I’ve seen the rest of Austin’s populace. None of the above modifiers apply until you hit the ‘burbs.
Yes, Hyde Park, Crestview, Travis Heights, etc are Third World shitholes.
ponderos said:
October 16th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
Old Enfield, Clarksville, Tarrytown, Allandale … might as well be Tuttle.
great point, Nate.
Macanudo said:
October 16th, 2009 at 7:05 pm
“Someone is concerned that their family member may have this, what should they do? Respond that they should mix underneath zone and come on delayed blitzes, just like BYU did.”
Heh. I went on my oldest daughter’s pre-school field trip to the pumpkin patch. Another dad and I talked college football the entire time to the consternation of my wife.
Bateshorn said:
October 16th, 2009 at 8:30 pm
You know that sports dad that will talk any team, any time, any sport, no matter what? He and I talked OU Texas this afternoon at school pickup until his wife, whose a bit, uh, husky, yelled “knock that shit off” and he slunk away to the car. I told him I had a 12 pack of shiner on ice for the game tomorrow. According to the text I just got, his daughters and my sons are having a play date at my house from 12-3 tomorrow (Convert that from EDT, skanks). Which is good, because I was worried I’d drink that 12 pack by myself. And I’m a single parent.
magnusbleuveigner said:
October 16th, 2009 at 9:16 pm
” No complaints, just a head nod, like I just told him I can’t take the mound because it’s Yom Kippur or something… ”
Can’t you just see the sell from the Dodger coaching staff? “Hey, Sandy, how you feelin bub? Soooo, what’s this Yom Kippur thing? I heard, uh, uhm, Yom’s a big Dodger fan.”
okie said:
October 20th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
Are you blogging in code again? Don’t you know Psychic Superstars are like Athletic SuperStars-they are born-not made.
Paper or plastic said:
October 20th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
I like Scipio’s alter- ego better-what’s his name-Clipper Cooper.
Paper or plastic said:
October 20th, 2009 at 5:15 pm
“thin Gap wifebeater” ; I think I know who you are referring to. I wonder why so many people ,however, who are in Texas (either residents or visitors) disparage Texas.
Gomer Pyle smile said:
October 21st, 2009 at 2:56 pm
I do not fully understand the underlying meaning to this post. Something about mixed gender, fast food/healthy food and impotency I take it.