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Pirate Sundry

Posted by Vasherized on September 17th, 2009 under Football

Pirate Sundry

"A dish best served cold, revenge is."

Colt McCoy isn’t taking the bait: “I’ve never been a revenge guy.” He leaves that to Muschamp.

Mike Leach is already playing mind games: “It’s hard to sustain (revenge) for an entire 60 minutes out there,” Leach said. “At some point you got to worry about doing your job and playing well.” Says the guy wearing an eyepatch and Pirates of the Caribbean t- shirt signed by Jonny Depp in his lucky red pen. Never trust a lawyer.

First, watch this about five times.

Second, head butt the nearest wall regardless of construct. Third, grab a beer.

I actually prefer this clip.

We’re under 72 hours to kickoff and as you can tell actual work is sloping towards zero faster than the time it takes HenryJames to dial up porn on his iPhone.

That’s about three seconds.

Which is also how long it took for Texas’ season to turn on a dime last year, when Crabtree beat “double coverage” (rewatch clip because you’re all masochists) and delivered Tech its biggest victory ever on his way to NFL riches being controlled by bitches. Fickle the college football gods are.

Regardless of what you hear from the coaches and players, last year’s wounds are still fresh and you have to think guys like Curtis Brown, Earl Thomas, and Blake Gideon will want to make amends for the plays they failed to make. Gideon shall mock all of you, but specifically closetojumping, with a diving one-handed INT in the endzone that he laterals to Earl Thomas, who actually catches it, then takes it back 108 yards for a score.

As Trips already mentioned in this unexpectedly controversial post, the Jeffcoats will be in town for the game had to cancel the trip at the last minute due to illness (per Rivals $$). Bummer. Let’s hope he makes it back in town soon.

Here is an article on the Jeffcoats from Trips Right’s favorite daily, USA Today. Color-coded point spreads = lock of the century! Early chalk, people. Early chalk.

Tech only gave up seven sacks last year and just one so far this season but I’m predicting at least two. Why? Because you only have to be within five feet of Taylor Potts to drag him down by his beard. We also have the right personnel to blitz through gaps in Aaron Williams, E. Acho, and Keenan Robinson. Another reason is Sergio Kindle’s dad is getting impatient. How can you say no to a guy named Johnny Walker, especially after crashing said guy’s car into a stationary building? If the building had been moving that would have been one thing. The texting while driving part is excusable — everybody within a three mile range of the 40 acres is apparently legally required to do so. Pay off your punishment in the form of TFLs and sacks, #2.

Pirate Yoda’s Prediction

Potts will throw the ball 50 times for 300 yards and 2 TDs but the sum of those efforts will be 17 points. Yes, less than we gave up to the mighty Warhawks of Louisiana Monroe. Because Muschamp swore we’d never give up 20 pts in a game again all season and I trust the man. Tech will move the ball between the 20s before stalling in the red zone and giving up an easy 3 for a throwaway on 4th & 7. This is well precedented. The myriad ways in which we’ll score is still unknown, other than Earl Thomas’ pick six for the ages. Greg Davis will probably tease us with deep balls to Malcolm Williams that inevitably get caught for touchdowns, only to never be seen again until next year’s Tech game.

Texas wins 44-17. The Taliban promptly cuts off all ties with Potts. Leach puts out feelers to see if any WAC teams are interested. Again.

dedfischer, who is risking injury to vital organs (read: liver) by making an appearance at the BC tailgate on Saturday, has two worthy previews of the OL and DL matchups – battles that Tech owned for most of the game last year (with an assist from ChrisApplewhite’s mentor, Greg Davis).

For Huckleberry and our readers out there that like stalking celebrities, Herbstreit & the Gameday crew are at El Arroyo right now. You can set your watch to it every year when they come in town. Just don’t eat the food.

Regret it you will.

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22 Responses

  1. misterserious7 said:

    September 17th, 2009 at 11:38 am

    The defense gave up 20 to ULM, not Wyoming.

  2. jamdog said:

    September 17th, 2009 at 11:42 am

    Where’s the BC tailgate, I need a beer.

  3. Vasherized said:

    September 17th, 2009 at 11:46 am

    Just look for the guys with faux hawks.

  4. bartoncreek said:

    September 17th, 2009 at 12:26 pm

    I prefer this one

    Watch the slow mo from the side. Funny stuff.

  5. Scipio Tex said:

    September 17th, 2009 at 12:32 pm

    Texas wins 44-17.

    A Pirate Looks at 40?

  6. Vasherized said:

    September 17th, 2009 at 12:38 pm

    Yeah, that and Boat Drinks.

  7. Vasherized said:

    September 17th, 2009 at 12:41 pm

    Jeffcoat had to cancel the trip to Austin due to illness, per Orangebloods. So basically Trips Right lied to everyone.

  8. Scipio Tex said:

    September 17th, 2009 at 12:47 pm

    Has Scout confirmed?

  9. Vasherized said:

    September 17th, 2009 at 12:57 pm

    No, and I’m not sure who would confirm it over there given Bobby & Gerry’s recent departure.

    I’m combing the Internets for confirmation.

  10. Scipio Tex said:

    September 17th, 2009 at 12:59 pm

    Thank you Vasherized, you literalist stooge.

    Continue your search and bring me some crisp documents later.

  11. Vasherized said:

    September 17th, 2009 at 1:06 pm

    You’ve been hanging out with Clipper too long, you fascist pantywaist.

    The communiqué has been confirmed by My People.

  12. ponderos said:

    September 17th, 2009 at 2:28 pm

    Food at El Arroyo >>> margaritas at El Arroyo

  13. nordberg said:

    September 17th, 2009 at 2:33 pm

    Talent at El Arroyo >>>> the food and margaritas at El Arroyo

  14. blackscholes said:

    September 17th, 2009 at 3:19 pm

    The news on Orangebloods was not surprisingly broken by a random poster. In this case, I think a high school student. Instead of the original post disappearing though, this time it was just locked.

  15. The General said:

    September 17th, 2009 at 7:06 pm

    Who made the rule that fantastic restaurant locations in Austin must serve horrible food?

  16. Vasherized said:

    September 17th, 2009 at 9:01 pm

    HenryJames.

  17. texasengr said:

    September 17th, 2009 at 9:14 pm

    After last week especially, this

    “Gideon shall mock all of you, but specifically closetojumping, with a diving one-handed INT in the endzone that he laterals to Earl Thomas, who actually catches it,…”

    Really had me laughing.

    I hope it’s as lop-sided as you’re predicting, but I won’t be surprised by a close one. It’s really been tough lately against the rivals (sans A&M last season).

  18. Laz said:

    September 18th, 2009 at 7:59 am

    Almost a year later and I still can’t bring myself to watch that play.

  19. Never Forget « Last Row said:

    September 18th, 2009 at 10:46 am

    [...] Pirate Sundry [...]

  20. bateshorn said:

    September 18th, 2009 at 11:32 am

    The hipster chick with the nice rack who served me at Guero’s in August was pretty hot, so I guess I got the one exception to the rule. Oh, wait, were you talking about physical location?

    My boss just asked me what the racket was after I kicked my desk while watching your clip from last year.

  21. nordberg said:

    September 18th, 2009 at 11:49 am

    Thanks for the call, asshole.

  22. bateshorn said:

    September 18th, 2009 at 12:38 pm

    What, and let you cut in on my action? No way.

    Plus, I didn’t want anybody to see when they asked me to leave.

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