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Posted by Scipio Tex on September 15th, 2009 under Football
Blogging Co-Prosperity Sphere advocate Michigan fan Brian Cook has tasked College Game Balls with this week’s questionnaire for an escape into whimsy and Pretend-land.
1. Which freshman impressed you more last weekend: the California dream Matt Barkley who quarterbacked USC over tOSU or white lightening Tate Forcier who slashed through Notre Dame? Which one would you like to have on your team? Feel free to write in another worth candidate.
If you can distinguish a caretaker from a playmaker, the answer is Tate Forcier.
Barkley should be commended for his poise in a hostile environment, but his game winning drive consisted of handing off successfully and flipping two backyard nerfballs to an open Joe McKnight, trailed despairingly by a Midwestern Caucasian. Jim Tressel lives to poo himself on the big stage – it doesn’t require any magic. It only requires Tressel, a pair of Dockers, a Top 5 opponent, and Ellen Tressel’s chili. 15 of 31 for 195 and a pick is only the stuff of legend for breathless ESPN analysts and the majority of SEC QBs.
Tate Forcier was the catalyst in Michigan’s win. Unlike Barkley, he was featured rather than compensated for in Michigan’s game plan. Look at the spectacular 4th and 3 31 yard TD run to put Michigan up 31-20 or the winning TD drive with 2:13 left in which he made all of the plays. 310 yards from scrimmage and 3 TDs isn’t bus driving.
As for which I’d take, Barkley is an obvious NFL talent, but I’ll pick Forcier for his suitability to what Texas does on offense and my preference for mobile QBs in the college game. Let’s pray he’s not on the Chad Henne development plan.
2. Let’s play a game of pretend the unthinkable happened. Commissioner __________ of your conference has been forced to resign after he was caught canoodling with some harlots. Great news, you’ve been chosen to succeed him. To make your mark you decide to make a big change. What is it going to be?
Why would I want this job if I can’t canoodle with harlots?
I’ll play along…
I disband the Big 12 and work to create a national superconference. Failing that, I convince the Pac 10 (their current commisioner’s background is in Women’s Tennis – I kid you not) to ditch their non-revenue producing scrubs along with ours and form a 16 team mega-conference that will dominate nearly 40% of the nation’s televisions. We are now poised in the sweet spot of the West’s demographic inevitability. The BigPac 16 – though it sounds like a Costco bulk toilet paper bundle – would be feared.
3. This week the quality of games is kicked up a gear. Other than your own, which game are you most looking forward to?
Florida-Tennessee. It will be deeply satisfying to watch Urban Meyer pole-axe Lane Kiffin’s street agent addled program, dismember his gridiron corpse, drench it in naptha, ignite it, and sprinkle Tennessee’s charred remains in the Okefenokee Swamp to be absorbed in a muggy stew of flamingo shit and gator urine. Other than that, I’m a Kiffin fan.
4. What mascot and/or tradition would you thieve from another school if it was socially acceptable.
We’re going Ivy league. Meet Keggy the Keg. Mascot of Dartmouth athletics.
I’ll incorporate Keggy into my own traditions with Bevo. Each week, Keggy’s role can be fulfilled by a different convict who would otherwise be performing in prison rodeos. Keggy-convict’s objective would be to ride the beast, possibly spurring him into the opposing team’s Cool Zone equipment or trampling a male cheerleader. The keg costume would prevent major injury, working much like the barrels of a rodeo clown. Good family fare.
blogpoll, College Football, Matt Barkley, Michigan Wolverines, Tate Forcier, USC Trojans
RRR wrote a new blog post: Victory in Jersey 1 hour, 30 minutes ago
Big East intimidation? Pff, whatever.
Halftime Thoughts
Except for some sloppy ball-handling from Darko, Davis, and Tairu, I couldn’t be happier with the way we’re playing. Obviously Herb Pope’s punch to Darko’s groin and subsequent ejection was the defining event. Tech went on a 13-0 run after the play, and that equals our lead at this point.
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skymonkeyhorn commented on the blog post A Wake Before The Funeral 2 hours, 15 minutes ago
When your stick is bigger then the carrot.
Now that was a title to draw your attention for you prevs that troll this site.
In all sports its a bragging point to have a bigger stick then your rival, or at least think its bigger then most.
That is one motivation tool of many
Patrick Bateman commented on the blog post Bush Paves the Way for Henderson? 3 hours, 35 minutes ago
Raoulduke,
Don’t be a tool. I kid, I kid. Who’s said I was qualified? Last time I checked this is the internet and everyone who can type can offer an opinion. Shit, half the folks offering up opinions on this blog and most sport blogs have no clue what they’re talking
I.M. Hipp commented on the blog post State of the Union – NU Basketball, Part 1 (or Why We Are Where We Are) 4 hours ago
If NU really wants to win they need to take a page from TO’s coaching career.
1. Never let great talent leave the state, Nebraska is desolate for talent so when a good player comes around you have to land him.
2. Develop a “system” where talent can flourish and help the team.
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Raoul Duke commented on the blog post Want to plant my feet on Rampart Street… 4 hours, 53 minutes ago
I am so irritated you guys are so good yet I am rooting for you. Saw the BC/MTM guy predicted you to final four.
That would be awesome.
Sic em and shit.
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whiskey commented on the blog post Jack Swarbrick Causes Server Meltdown 5 hours, 3 minutes ago
Nate, I think your argument is pretty solid for the SEC, Big 12 and Pac 10 but not so much on the Big 10. If you look at the 2009 Sagarin strength of sked: ND-37, Ohio St-50, Iowa-41, Penn St-73. Not so sure joining the Big 10 really helps ND’s chances. With
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Raoul Duke commented on the blog post All Signs Point to March Madness Expanding to 96 Teams 5 hours, 7 minutes ago
The NCAA, apparently, could fuck up a soup sandwich. Piss on Myles Brand’s greedy grave.
Raoul Duke commented on the blog post Bush Paves the Way for Henderson? 5 hours, 13 minutes ago
Mr. Bateman – First let me say I’m not trying to be an asshole or pick a fight. This is a great column and great fun to read.
Re this:
I think Kiffin’s staff is competent enough, particularly Papa Kiffin (DC), John Baxter (a pretty good ST coach), and Todd McNair is a decent RB
bigdukesix commented on the blog post Bush Paves the Way for Henderson? 6 hours ago
Kiffin’s father is a great coach, but the rest of that staff isn’t. Orgeron and Kiffin are both good, dirty recruiters and mediocre to poor gameday coaches.
How important is that in college football? How good of a gameday coach is Mack Brown? Greg Davis?
Orgeron is actually a damn fine defensive line coach,
Tim commented on the blog post NIT Preview – Seton Hall 6 hours, 4 minutes ago
How much longer to football season?
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Patrick Bateman commented on the blog post Bush Paves the Way for Henderson? 6 hours, 25 minutes ago
CTJ,
Always impassioned. I agree with you that his delay had to do with not being eligible to sign rather than awaiting for the smoke to settle. However, the point is not with motive but with opportunity. Maybe the kid and his family don’t know anything and just trudged along with his planned
CloseToJumping commented on the blog post Beat the Barkers NCAA Tourney Bracket 7 hours, 17 minutes ago
I am angling for the weekend with SizzleChest. I am hoping to channel his evil in the right directions.
Casey Heathcott commented on the blog post Want to plant my feet on Rampart Street… 7 hours, 25 minutes ago
Interesting read by a Kentucky writer: Apparently Kansas and Baylor are the only two teams with a shot at winning it all. http://www.courier-journal.com/article/20100316/COLUMNISTS01/303160023
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Mister Mike commented on the blog post State of the Union – NU Basketball, Part 1 (or Why We Are Where We Are) 7 hours, 44 minutes ago
I get what you’re saying, but honestly, it’s a cop out. Period. If the AD was to actually commit some resources into building a program, we would be competitive and probably would even give K-State a run for its money. We may never be a KU, but we sure as hell wouldn’t
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J Rog commented on the blog post Bienvenidos a Miami: Heat Preview 8 hours, 32 minutes ago
Totally agree re: RJ. I’m hesitant to shout it from the mountain tops until he does it against a contending team. So far his success has been against 2nd tier teams.
Ginobili is just incredible to watch right now. Just goes to show how hurt he really must have been last season.
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Sancho wrote a new blog post: 2010 Football Schedule Released 8 hours, 37 minutes ago
09/05/10 at Texas Tech
09/11/10 vs. UAB * Ford Stadium
09/18/10 vs. Washington State Ford Stadium
09/24/10 vs. TCU Ford Stadium
10/02/10 at Rice * Houston, Texas
10/09/10 vs. Tulsa * Ford Stadium
10/16/10 at Navy Annapolis, Md.
10/23/10 vs. Houston * Ford Stadium
10/30/10 at Tulane * New Orleans, La.
11/06/10 at UTEP * El Paso, Texas
11/20/10 vs. Marshall * Ford Stadium
11/27/10
James commented on the blog post Things To Do While Not Watching OU in the NCAA Tourney 8 hours, 51 minutes ago
Nate, agreed on the buying players. What does the NCAA do? Oh yeah, you “vacate wins”. I vacated my bowels this morning.
I was busting your balls on Oklahoma. I have had some good times in some of the surprisingly scenic areas. Also, Maker’s is my poison and who would ever
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Burnt Orange Wookiee commented on the blog post Bienvenidos a Miami: Heat Preview 8 hours, 55 minutes ago
The emergence of RJ being what we thought he would be seems pretty big. Oh, and that Ginobili guy is playing pretty good right now. Seeing Manu be Manu always brings a smile to my face.
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Blake Stansbery wrote a new blog post: Arkansas Razorback Football’s Top Six Impact Freshman for 2010 9 hours, 21 minutes ago
The Arkansas Razorbacks’ 2010 signing class did a good job of filling areas of need and adding size, speed, and talent to Bobby Petrino’s roster.
The major recruiting services did not rank the Hogs among the top 25 recruiting classes, while the Max Emfinger and Tom Lemmings of the recruiting world did think more highly
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Ibas water bottle commented on the blog post All Signs Point to March Madness Expanding to 96 Teams 9 hours, 23 minutes ago
Somewhere in rehab Sean Sutton is pissed this didn’t happen 4 years ago.
Kevin Berger wrote a new blog post: Bracket Analysis: The Beasts of the East 9 hours, 41 minutes ago
If the South is a region of guards, the East is a region of men. Large men, that play an old school, physical brand of basketball. Guys like Demarcus Cousins, Kevin Jones, Damion James, Trevor Booker, and Al-Farouq Aminu, put the power in power forward.
These guys rebound above the rim and
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J Rog wrote a new blog post: Reggie Miller is a Bad Man 10 hours, 1 minute ago
If you haven’t yet, I highly recommend watching ESPN’s latest 30 for 30: Winning Time about the Indiana Pacer’sReggie Miller’s rivalry with the New York Knicks in the early 90’s. Anyone that can make Spike Lee look stupid is a friend of mine.
The things that Reggie did to John Starks in those playoff series are
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Nordberg commented on the blog post Texas finishes sweep of Iowa 10 hours, 19 minutes ago
Green and then Workman I’d imagine.
J Rog wrote a new blog post: Bienvenidos a Miami: Heat Preview 10 hours, 26 minutes ago
If we can score, we have a chance. The Heat are a poor team in a mediocre conference this year and don’t come with a lot of fire power. The one thing they can do is play defense, holding teams to 95.2 points per game, 5th best in the NBA. Dorrell Wright returns from a
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Nate Heupel commented on the blog post Things To Do While Not Watching OU in the NCAA Tourney 10 hours, 34 minutes ago
coloradoag:
First of all, I’ve very seriously thought your proposal #9 over. See: Calipari, John. People don’t seem to care if you buy basketball players. Only if you do it blatantly (USC) or you call/text them too much.
Oklahoma (outside of Oklahoma City and Tulsa metropolitan areas) is a lot of fun if you’re
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Sailor Ripley commented on the blog post Bracket Analysis: The South is a Bear of a Bracket 10 hours, 35 minutes ago
Ha ha ha ha! It’s Joel Osteen’s world. You just live in it.
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admin commented on the blog post Bracket Analysis: The South is a Bear of a Bracket 10 hours, 35 minutes ago
Ha ha ha ha! It’s Joel Osteen’s world. You just livesin in it.
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admin commented on the blog post Bracket Analysis: The South is a Bear of a Bracket 10 hours, 35 minutes ago
Ha ha ha ha! It’s Joel Osteen’s world. You just live sin in it.
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ghostofagroundgame commented on the blog post Beat the Barkers NCAA Tourney Bracket 10 hours, 43 minutes ago
I will own that tote bag. And it will hold my porn.
James commented on the blog post Bracket Analysis: The South is a Bear of a Bracket 10 hours, 58 minutes ago
Baylor has the horses to make it to Indy, but Scott Drew is the Mike Gundy of college hoops. He’ll find a way to blow it.
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© 2009 Fantake. All rights reserved unless otherwise indicated.
BEHorn said:
September 15th, 2009 at 7:25 am
Forcier over Barkley? Heretic! Black helicopters are hovering over you right now, masked stormtroopers ready to descend and spirit you away to the re-education camp.
Vasherized said:
September 15th, 2009 at 8:01 am
The BigPac 16 – though it sounds like a Costco bulk toilet paper bundle – would be feared.
Ha.
coloradoag said:
September 15th, 2009 at 8:20 am
The Barkley BJs from the media have already become insufferable. He managed the game on Saturday ala Trent Dilfer in Super Bowl XXXV.
Forcier came out of the Comic-Con Convention to actually make plays and win the game for Michigan.
dick said:
September 15th, 2009 at 8:25 am
“It only requires Tressel, a pair of Dockers, a Top 5 opponent, and Ellen Tressel’s chili. 15 of 31 for 195 and a pick is only the stuff of legend for breathless ESPN analysts and the majority of SEC QBs.”
Funny. We need to find out Stoops’ wife’s name and incorporate her into some jokes.
coloradoag said:
September 15th, 2009 at 8:32 am
Stoops family: wife – Carol. daughter – Mackenzie. twin sons – Isaac and Drake. Drake Stoops… poor bastard.
magnusbleuveigner said:
September 15th, 2009 at 11:42 am
Isaac Asimov
Isaac Newton
Isaac Stoops
One of these doesn’t fit.
doback said:
September 15th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
“The BigPac 16 – though it sounds like a Costco bulk toilet paper bundle ”
I think the BigPac 16 and wifey were responsible for the dull buzzing noise coming from the bedroom while I was trying to watch MNF..
Scipio Tex said:
September 15th, 2009 at 6:38 pm
coloradoag:
“Forcier came out of the Comic-Con Convention to actually make plays and win the game for Michigan.”
Nicely played, sir.
doback:
Worthless without pictures.
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