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Making a Silk Verse from a Sow’s Ear: An Arkansas Athletics Site Blog

Posted by DrJHorn on September 14th, 2009 under Football

After reading Fake Ken Tremendous’ brilliant dissections of recent blogs by Bill Little and Bill Byrne here on BC, I was inspired to test Fake Ken’s theory that all athletic department officials named Bill basically suck at blogging.

Coincidentally, Arkansas has a blogger named Bill in its athletic department.  So let’s review the Sept. 4 blog from Assistant Athletic Director for New Media Bill Smith on the recent RazorRock Pep Rally and the Razorback Navy.  The link:

Arkansas Athletics Site

By the way, if you look up “New Media”, you will see it defined as media that is “networkable, manipulative, and dense”.  I am sure you will agree that Bill Smith’s media is exceptionally dense. 

Here we go:  

 

ARKANSAS ATHLETICS

Bill’s Blog: Welcome to RazorRock

Assistant Athletic Director for New Media Bill Smith hits the road to the pre-MSU prep rally.

Courtesy: Bill Smith, Athletic Media Relations                       Release: 09/04/2009

  

NORTH LITTLE ROCK, Ark. — This was a heck of a way to start a holiday weekend.

As the Razorback Marching Band lived up to its name — marching from the Junction Bridge to Dickey-Stephens Field — there was a special electricity along the Arkansas River.

Let’s ease into this one.  No jabs at marching bands that march.  Or that electricity is considered special in Arkansas.

For a non-conference season opener, it certainly feels like the heart of football season already.

The week-long pep rally for the Razorbacks, tagged RazorRock Rally, ended with the appearance of the band, cheerleaders and mascots.  Maybe it was getting to ride along to the event on top of Tusk II’s trailer with the pep squad.  Maybe it was a picture perfect evening with Dave Van Horn throwing out the first pitch.

Wait.  Is Bill really saying that the pep rally ended when he got a ride to the event?  NOTHING happened after the ride TO the event?  Is there a sentence missing here? 

 Even Arkansas Travelers legend Bill Valentine came out to the game, meeting Arkansas athletic director Jeff Long in the Travs press box.

 Special.

Special indeed.  A real “Dr. Livingstone, I presume” moment between two legends there in sub-Saharan Arkansas.

The cynical might say it was just another pep rally, just another attempt to gin up interest in the team.  All the cliches in play — the former players from three decades, the university chancellor, the band, the live mascot, the live TV shots.

Cynics.  Always claiming that the point of a pep rally is to generate interest in a team.  Annoying.

Far from it.  There’s an emotion in what Clint Stoerner, Marcus Elliott and Kevin Scanlon said that you can’t fake.  When they talk about this year’s team, it has the admiration of those who have been there and done that toward those who get to continue to play the game they once owned.

That would be the same Clint Stoerner who inexplicably left the ball on the ground vs. Tennessee in 1998.  The Vols recovered, scored, and preserved their national championship run.  One might reasonably propose that Stoerner actually should have displayed just a bit more ownership when he played for the Hogs.

When Stoerner — ironically, the player that Ryan Mallett said he pretended he was in the backyard as a kid — says he’s looking forward to the 6-7 sophomore breaking his records, you can sense the honor among warriors.

There it is.  The ridiculous football field/battlefield metaphor.  You would think they would know the difference there in War Memorial Stadium.

When Elliott urges the crowd to rattle the neighborhood houses surrounding War Memorial Stadium, just like they did when he was a youngster living in the shadow of the stadium, you can sense his pride as a Little Rock native about the event.

Elliott was the heaviest starter on the offensive line his senior year.  Pretty sure the stadium was in the shadow of him.

Tomorrow belongs to the next generation of Razorbacks, but tonight, all generations of Razorbacks came together to celebrate all things Razorback.

And what is that exactly?  That Nolan Richardson still hasn’t been able to find work in the U.S.?

Can’t wait for tomorrow.

QUICK BLOG SIDE NOTES

Remember, we will have the blog tomorrow from WMS, but the split of Twitter feeds is new.  Game highlights will be on the main department feed, along with all other sports.  The high detail and high volume of Tweets will be on our new game day only feed @RazorbackRoad.

Bill really flexing his New Media muscles there.

And, as the Razorback Navy assembles for the first time on the Arkansas River, let me add a quick caution.  Some may scoff that our assembly of ships doesn’t match that of other SEC navies.

The Razorback Navy has not yet begun to fight!

I want to remind you, our navy includes an attack submarine.  Literally.  The USS Razorback served during the Second World War, then years of Cold War service before being sold by the US to Turkey.  The Razorback was purchased as salvage and restored by the city of North Little Rock, making it perhaps the only privately owned former naval vessal on display in the US.

The correct spelling there is actually “vessel”.  Unless Bill meant to write “vassal” – meaning a subordinate or dependent.  Like, say, the relationship of a Razorback Navy ship to a ship from another SEC team’s navy. 

And OK.   Bill wins.  Sports and war apparently aren’t two different things after all.

This trip I didn’t get into town early enough to visit the Razorback, but it’s well worth the tour.  The ship is maintained by dedicated volunteers and is in immaculate shape.

So, keep in mind, your navy might be bigger now, but our navy can sink yours.

Sure.  When pigs float.

 

And the search for someone named Bill in an athletic department who can write a decent blog continues….

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3 Responses

  1. Minnesotahorn said:

    September 14th, 2009 at 12:41 pm

    “Let’s ease into this one. No jabs at marching bands that march. Or that electricity is considered special in Arkansas.”

    Greatness.

  2. Fake Ken Tremendous said:

    September 15th, 2009 at 7:57 am

    “Sub-Saharan Arkansas.” That’s classic.

  3. FatBastard said:

    October 9th, 2009 at 10:12 pm

    Nice work Dr. J. “Marching Bands that march” – wow who’d of thunk it?
    Umm…. the submarine? In the river? Are you serious? Lets hope they don’t try to dive! This sounds like a tragedy waiting to happen. What will they think of next – an oversized burning pyre being built by part time ROTC freshmen?

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