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Stephen Good’s Achilles’ heel

Posted by HenryJames on August 17th, 2009 under Football

OU’s starting guard has identified himself as the weak link in OU’s offensive line. Is it his inexperience? Nope. His past injuries? Nope.

He’s afraid of clowns.

What’s something about yourself that not many people know?

I’m afraid of clowns. The movie “It” got to me.

Oh, you have no idea Stephen. You know those carnivals you see everyday? And don’t pretend you don’t. You’re in Oklahoma, the nation’s largest provider of carnies.

Well those aren’t your normal run of the mill carnivals. They’re full of clowns. Clowns, Stephen, Clowns.

Now you will know why you are afraid of the dark. Now you learn why you fear the night.

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21 Responses

  1. What about this clown?

    brandon carter

  2. Blake Brockermeyer was deathly afraid of clowns. Seriously.

    Apparently it’s an OL thing.

  3. NateHeupel said:

    August 17th, 2009 at 6:50 am

    “OU’s starting has identified himself as the weak link in OU’s offensive line.”

    At first, I thought this was a clever play on the fact that Good is a starter at C/G/T/wherever someone’s hurt this week. OU’s starting ___. Very nice. Then…

    “Clowns, Stepen, Clowns.”

    …Then, I realized you probably weren’t THAT clever and just made a mistake. Steppenwolf is terrified, BTW.

  4. [...] what will happen if that’s not true, and b.) Tim Curry talking to you from sewer grates. (HT: Barking Carnival.) GA_googleFillSlot(”EDSBSFirstPostMediumRectangle300×250″); Filed under: Big 12 [...]

  5. So, the first freshman DT to agree to paint on a clown face gets the starting nod in Dallas, right?

  6. CloseToJumping is also afraid of clowns.

  7. John Wayne Gacy said:

    August 17th, 2009 at 7:26 am

    Hi!

  8. Maybe there is hope for Ben Alexander in this lineup.

  9. Clowns are F-ing scary!!!!
    But not as scary as the african-american heckler…

  10. gacy was my first thought. then albert fish.

    you guys are spooking me, too.

  11. What about Jackie Sherrill?

  12. Insane Clown Posse said:

    August 17th, 2009 at 9:02 am

  13. Well, that solves the DT depth issue. Find the biggest, fattest, ugliest clown on the planet, put him on scholarship, and line him up at DT opposite Good. “Wanna try my seltzer bottle, Stephen?”

  14. it’s miss st that has jackie sherrill nightmares.

  15. Clowns are not right in any way, shape, form or fashion. I do not like for all of the reasons cited: It, John Wayne Gacy, Jackie Sherrill’s affinity for them.

    I grew up with a guy that eventually was a roommate in college and for a while afterwards and he’s now a business partner that has a serious fear of midgets and dwarfs. I used to threaten this guy that one day I’d hire a few to come in while he’s sleeping and then simply stare at him, gathered around his bed, making squeaking noises in an effort to wake him up. I found great amusement in the concept. I was joking about it one night when a bunch of us were out having drinks. Everyone chimed in and had a good chuckle at said dipshit’s expense. 2 days later I woke with a ceramic clown doll staring at me on my nightstand. Point taken. The midget-threatening came to an end.

    There was a Thursday night ESPN game between Mississippi State and someone like Memphis or something, years ago. They did a bit on Jackie Sherrill and his affinity for clowns. They showed video inside his home, with him showing them around shelf upon shelf of clown dolls and masks. That seems what part of each day in Hell is like. Being trapped in a house with Jackie Sherrill and his unbridled clown fetish.

  16. CTJ, what you need to do is get your hands on one of those lifesize cardboard Mini-Me’s. I had one once (don’t ask), and used to put it in my roommate’s shower. So he’d wake up in the morning and half-asleep pull open the shower curtain to find Mini-Me staring at him. This would probably be enough to send your friend over the edge or give him cardiac arrest, if either of those is a goal for you.

  17. They’re usually both goals in any situation, but not for me. I’d have to break into his home to do it at this point. His wife probably wouldn’t appreciate it, and I could probably break myself down physically just attempting to climb in through the window.

  18. Parlin Hall said:

    August 17th, 2009 at 11:20 am

    “2 days later I woke with a ceramic clown doll staring at me on my nightstand.”

    Excellent story.

  19. Stuck in MN said:

    August 17th, 2009 at 5:24 pm

    The preferred nomenclature is “little person”.

    When my wife and I were dating we went to meet some members of her extended family who were visiting from out of town. She spent a good 30 minutes giving me the lowdown on all the various people and what to expect. A split second after we had knocked on the hotel door, she turns to me and says “oh by the way, I forgot to tell you, my cousin’s fiance is a midget.”

    I mean, nothing against little people, but she could have given me at least a few minutes to digest that bit of information before the little person opened the door. Wouldn’t you move that to the front of the list of things to tell someone about- ahead of such mundane facts as don’t let Grandpa have any booze?

  20. GringoSalado said:

    August 17th, 2009 at 6:20 pm

    Hugo OK is AKA Circus City, and is winter HQ for a few big circuses.

    And their clowns.

  21. [...] barker–and there must be one, since Oklahoma is the single largest producer of carnies, according to Barking Carnival–will be played by T. Boone Pickens, whose final predicted score for the Georgia game is one [...]

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