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Sean Weatherspoon Tackles Twitter

Posted by Scipio Tex on July 26th, 2009 under Football, Recruiting

Missouri’s Sean Weatherspoon – All-American LB from Jasper, TX is The Most Interesting Man in Columbia

Que?


No, C-o-l-u-m-b-i-a

Texas never recruited Weatherspoon, mostly because we consider deep rural East Texas to be out-of-state and the idea that there is a honor student football player from Jasper was Loch Nessian in its believability. Besides, if a player really wants to come to Texas he should camp out on Bruce Chambers’ lawn and burn a Bob Stoops dummy in effigy. It’s not like we’re going to actually drive to see you.

Because Sean is from Jasper and speaks in the patois of youth, I may translate for you from time to time. Spoon, unfiltered:

@sherrodharris what’s good bro? I see u on the tweet game!

Not a strong start. He props 3rd string UT QB Sherrod Harris for street cred – a D list athletic celebrity, sort of like name dropping Gilbert Gottfried at a Hollywood party. I know this is Missouri football and that you guys don’t move with the West Egg crowd, but c’mon, at least pretend that you know Terrelle Pryor.

Hit the barbershop, fresh steve harvey edge up! Not a stain on me!

Spoon just got a haircut. Steve Harvey is a well-dressed black humorist. I think he’s also saying that at no point in the haircut did his barber ejaculate on him. So we’ve already lost Sailer Ripley’s interest.

Super Nintendo Sega Genesis, when I was dead broke man I couldn’t picture this! B.I.G. My favorite

Super Nintendo Sega Genesis. Damn. You’ve made it! Took a whole of tuhhryyiiin’ but we finally got up that hill.

In class, time to learn lol

HA HA! Oh, Sean. You’re incorrigible.

just finished a stellar workout, hit 475 on the bench easy, almost hit 500, gotta get it soon! 50 days until I squeeze the pulp out of Juice

He’s referring to Illinois QB Juice Williams. I think.

Still, I love it. Could you imagine our risk averse SID department allowing Sergio Kindle a Twitter feed to talk shit to opposing QBs? All you need is a cellphone and a…on second thought.

My momma just said, ” if u don’t get that quarterback from Texas then I’m gonna get u!” my moms be on it

You mean the starting QB for Texas that scored 56 on you last year? Or the backup you twitter-flirt with? The only things your moms be on is ketamine.

My momma just said, ” if u don’t get that quarterback from Texas then I’m gonna get u!” my moms be on it

He posted this twice. His momma is serious. Well guess what, Mrs. Weatherspoon? You sure your son and his 475 pound bench press wants a piece of this?


That’s what I thought

I’m jus gonna play it by ear, I’m not gonna stress… I’m only human

He’s only human. Flesh and blood. A man.

Spoonz Only Hu-mannnnn

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25 Responses

  1. Steve Nebraska said:

    July 26th, 2009 at 1:49 pm

    That picture of McCoy is incredibly stupid.

  2. Scipio Tex said:

    July 26th, 2009 at 2:06 pm

    No, it’s not. It’s a fanastic idea. The football is his sledgehammer! You just don’t get it. It’s too subtle.

  3. CronkiteWasASocialist said:

    July 26th, 2009 at 2:38 pm

    That pic is borderline “300″esque flextastic queer bait.

  4. CronkiteWasASocialist said:

    July 26th, 2009 at 2:40 pm

    I take it back…. it’s not that bad.

  5. uthookem said:

    July 26th, 2009 at 3:21 pm

    I saw Gilbert Gottfried in Hawaii at the Waipio Valley overlook. He had a nice looking dame, but the fella could hardly walk. I didn’t bug him, but really wanted to see if he could stay up all night with a USA movie.

  6. wisconsinhornybadger said:

    July 26th, 2009 at 4:18 pm

    is this photoshopped?

  7. Scipio Tex said:

    July 26th, 2009 at 4:53 pm

    I’ll only answer you if you’ll confirm that your handle really is wisconsinhornybadger.

  8. SizzleChest said:

    July 26th, 2009 at 4:53 pm

    Sailor’s a fan of the cum swap.

    Jus’ sayin’.

  9. Woody Bombay said:

    July 26th, 2009 at 6:32 pm

    I bet that pic of Colt is on the ceiling of Bill Little’s bedroom.

  10. Mister Mike said:

    July 27th, 2009 at 5:26 am

    Christ…that almost looks like a pic of Kirk Herbstreit trying to BE McCoy.

  11. Colt McCoy said:

    July 27th, 2009 at 5:52 am

    No footballs were injured in the production of this film.

  12. SeeingRed said:

    July 27th, 2009 at 6:10 am

    They have everything that you need to enjoy,
    You can hang out with all the boys …

    It’s fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.
    It’s fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.

  13. Nordberg said:

    July 27th, 2009 at 6:33 am

    That picture is a year old. Whatever joke it is you’re thinking about making, it’s already been made.

  14. Pablo Escobar said:

    July 27th, 2009 at 6:40 am

    Yanqui: know that while I have been dead for sixteen years I will still have vengeance on you and those of your blood if fun is made of my tie.

  15. Captain Obvious said:

    July 27th, 2009 at 8:09 am

    Since this got derailed I will go ahead and ask this question Scipio.

    Using the premise that Texas win’s the national title and Mack drops his pants on national television and tells everyone they can kiss his ass because he is gone. Will moves into the big office which sets off a series of staff chains.

    Who gets asked to stay and why?

  16. Scipio Tex said:

    July 27th, 2009 at 8:22 am

    Captain Obvious:

    That’s a great question and one I was discussing with a friend this weekend.

    The short answer is: Major Applewhite.

    The longer answer is any staff member willing to put in the time and sweat that Muschamp will demand – particularly on the recruiting trail. Muschamp will also bring in some guys from his old Auburn/LSU staffs – bank on it.

    I don’t think Will will outright fire any guys, but I’d expect to see a 75% staff turnover by the end of his third year. They’ll see the expected pace, they’ll experience some of the discomfort of being publically called out for performance, and they’ll decide where they’d be happiest.

    As for Greg Davis, if he still wants to coach -and I’m pretty sure he does, I can see Muschamp transitioning with him for a year or two before giving the OC reins to Applewhite.

    This staff is due for a rehaul anyway and I’m confident that our lack of individual recruiting rainmakers will be addressed.

  17. Freddie Akers said:

    July 27th, 2009 at 8:36 am

    I’m available at the right price…

  18. Captain Obvious said:

    July 27th, 2009 at 8:40 am

    Scipio,

    Thanks for the reply and interesting thought in your last sentence. I believe that the one area Mack hasn’t addressed with his recent hires is the loss of Tim Brewster.

  19. wisconsinhornybadger said:

    July 27th, 2009 at 11:13 am

    confirmation

  20. Scipio Tex said:

    July 27th, 2009 at 11:22 am

    Then I’ll answer:

    No, the Juice Newton photo is not photoshopped.

  21. Crown & Coke said:

    July 27th, 2009 at 12:25 pm

    Scipio,

    This is not your best work. Did that reference to the B.I.G. song ‘Juicy’ really go straight over your head?

  22. Scipio Tex said:

    July 27th, 2009 at 12:36 pm

    Might it have gone over yours?

    B.I.G’s rap is about “making it big” in the face of his detractors and he offers as proof his video game console.

    Perhaps this is making it big to you?

  23. Jim Harrison said:

    July 27th, 2009 at 5:22 pm

    I feel like I’m watching 8 Mile. Light him up, Scip.

    This is great work and I know great work.

  24. BrickHorn said:

    July 28th, 2009 at 8:43 am

    I think he’s also saying that at no point in the haircut did his barber ejaculate on him.

    That’s some primo funny shit, right there.

  25. Captain Obvious said:

    July 28th, 2009 at 10:13 am

    If you truly want to read some great thoughts on twitter look no farther than Chris Johnson of the Titans (ChrisJohnson28).

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