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The Heck do ya Mean?!
Posted by Minnesotahorn on June 10th, 2009 under Uncategorized
Reports have surfaced indicating that Texas is in negotiations with the University of Minnesota for a home and home and Barking Carnival’s exclusive sources* indicate that talks may be coming to a head. For obvious reasons this appeals to me personally but it’s also a continuation of a trend in our scheduling that I think is worth exploring.
*My aunt Sandra who works in U of M admissions, has nothing to do with and little knowledge of sports tells us, “Oh wow. That would sure be neat,”.
First let’s take a closer look at the Gophers. After almost thirty years in the soulless Metrodome the Gophers are moving back outside this season into their new TCF Bank Stadium, built to conjure up memories of Minnesota’s old Memorial Stadium, nicknamed “The Brick House”.
36-24-36
Minnesota is coached by Tim Brewster, famous to Texas fans as the man most responsible for Vince Young’s signing. Brewster is also notable for his adherence to the new trend in young coaches of outrageous hubris without the slightest bit of accomplishment. Normally megalomania is preceded by at least a modicum of success but who am I to argue with progress? We here at Barking Carnival completely support guys that watch themselves in the mirror during sex. You know, whatever.
Now the new stadium looks great and the Twin Cities are absolutely gorgeous in September but the U of M hardly meets the widely circulated intentions of Deloss Dodds’ to schedule teams roughly in UT’s same academic and athletic stratosphere. In fact, the last few scheduling decisions seem more aimed at the enjoyment of Texas fans in their travel destinations than anything else. Let’s take a look at some recent and future out of conference opponents, particularly those with whom we scheduled return trips.
2007
Central Florida was the sole OOC road game and if you can come up with a reason our athletic department allowed such a thing without including the words Magic Kingdom, Epcot Center or Goofy you’ve got me beat.
2008
We traveled to El Paso to play the UTEP Minors. I personally enjoyed the trip and I know many other fans did as well but I’d have to chalk this one up more to a hole in our scheduling than anything else, or perhaps an attempt to return Mike Price to his previous job writing online pornography reviews.
2009
A beautiful destination at a perfect time of year. An absolute treat for anyone who loves the outdoors and… an opponent whose quality will get us roundly mocked.
2010
We start our series with UCLA (with the return trip coming in 2011) and this match-up comes closer than anything else to the academic/athletic equivalency criteria. Oh, it also happens to be in Pasadena where Longhorn fans are accustomed to dropping oodles of cash and already have relationships with the staff of their favorite hotels.
2012
Ah Ole Miss. Tailgating at The Grove. The Walk of Champions. Hotty Toddy. Who gives a shit.
I think we all understand what this trip’s really about. This is the mingling of the two fan bases with the hottest coeds in college sports. The attractiveness quotient will be unholy and the state’s going to stink like sex until the next time Tennessee visits and makes everyone forget all about such an enterprise. Basically the opposite of a Michigan Wisconsin game. So once again we have a great trip and perhaps a decent on-field opponent. Perhaps.
Minnesota seems like another in this line of opponents where the primary consideration is a pleasant destination for our fans with level of competition being a secondary concern and comparable academics being almost completely disregarded. Now I really could care less about playing teams in our academic realm but this was one of the scheduling criteria only recently offered up by the Athletic Department and it doesn’t take long to start salivating over the teams it would include. Here are a few schools that share the top tier of US News’ rankings with UT: Notre Dame, Michigan, Southern Cal, Penn State, Florida. See anybody in there you’d like to play?
Now I fully understand that the system as it’s now set up discourages the scheduling of teams of this calibre (us included) and I also get that one of the jobs and joys of the athletic department is to piss down my back and tell me it’s raining. Still, I can’t say it doesn’t frustrate me to have them pay lip service to the idea of ’similar athletic and academic status’ and then just buy us off with nice vacations.
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Activity
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D W commented on the blog post March Madness open thread 1 hour, 16 minutes ago
Now Baylor talking trash to the #14 seed players. Seriously?
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ghostofagroundgame commented on the blog post March Madness Open thread 1 hour, 19 minutes ago
If Sam Houston State wins then Rick Barnes will have trick-fucked me in a completely unexpected way. I figured if Baylor beat us like a drum three time then should be able to ease past Sam Houston State. I did not know about the Rec Specs.
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gingerballs commented on the blog post Big Dance: Day One 1 hour, 22 minutes ago
Sam Houston attempting to one up Murray St.
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gingerballs commented on the blog post Big Dance: Day One 1 hour, 24 minutes ago
WOW, way to shit the bed Stallings….again
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Triston27 commented on the blog post Big Dance: Day One 1 hour, 26 minutes ago
Wow. Fortunately I had Vandy losing Saturday anyway.
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gingerballs commented on the blog post Big Dance: Day One 1 hour, 32 minutes ago
Murray….present!
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CloseToJumping commented on the blog post March Madness open thread 1 hour, 38 minutes ago
If Baylor fails, my grand scheme of Purdue playing for it all will immediately begin to take shape.
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ghostofagroundgame commented on the blog post Beat the Barkers NCAA Tourney Bracket 1 hour, 42 minutes ago
Freaking BYU.
Otherwise, I’m 2-1.
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CloseToJumping commented on the blog post Beat the Barkers NCAA Tourney Bracket 1 hour, 49 minutes ago
Yeah, that Purdue pick was awesome. It seems like I heard something about them having injuries, but it slipped my mind when making picks. I’ve literally not seen them play for one second this season. Not a highlight, nothing. Good work.
1-2 to start things off, I think it’s clear I’m going to own this thing.
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ghostofagroundgame commented on the blog post March Madness Open thread 2 hours, 27 minutes ago
Man, Sam Houston State is playing Baylor perfectly. Rec Specs is running the paint. And I always love teams with short guys who jack threes.
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ghostofagroundgame commented on the blog post March Madness Open thread 2 hours, 40 minutes ago
And they have a dude with rec specs.
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Trips Right commented on the blog post March Madness Open thread 2 hours, 40 minutes ago
Sam Houston State with a triangle and two to stifle Baylor. I’m going to vomit
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ghostofagroundgame commented on the blog post March Madness Open thread 2 hours, 40 minutes ago
Sam Houston State is like Tom Penders’ wet dream.
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Art Vandelay commented on the blog post March Madness Open thread 2 hours, 42 minutes ago
MMOD is beating me down with the Ivan brothers.
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ghostofagroundgame commented on the blog post March Madness open thread 2 hours, 42 minutes ago
ND proved that the old tried and true, anti-Duke theory about how teams that rely on unathletic white dudes who have to get to the foul line and/or make a alot of really ugly right-handed layups never win in the tourney.
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ghostofagroundgame commented on the blog post March Madness open thread 2 hours, 43 minutes ago
Man, I can’t believe that Florida game. Their team actually appears to be DUMBER than ours.
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Vasherized commented on the blog post March Madness Open thread 2 hours, 45 minutes ago
We need to send our guys to Baylor’s School of Hard Dunks.
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Triston27 commented on the blog post Big Dance: Day One 2 hours, 48 minutes ago
Dollar $igns!
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Art Vandelay commented on the blog post March Madness open thread 2 hours, 51 minutes ago
Great start to the tourney. Two OT games and a one point ND loss.
Yeah – a bunch of half ass bowl games is a much better idea.
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uthookem commented on the blog post March Madness open thread 2 hours, 52 minutes ago
I think Sam Houston has taken more charges in the first ten minutes than Texas took all season.
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Trips Right commented on the blog post March Madness Open thread 2 hours, 54 minutes ago
Morris goes down.
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Trips Right commented on the blog post March Madness Open thread 2 hours, 57 minutes ago
Big 3 by morris down 1 with 8 seconds
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Vasherized commented on the blog post March Madness Open thread 2 hours, 57 minutes ago
Dude hit the easy layup.
/facepalm
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Trips Right commented on the blog post March Madness Open thread 2 hours, 59 minutes ago
Morris down 3 with 29
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Vasherized commented on the blog post March Madness Open thread 2 hours, 59 minutes ago
UDOH SWAT GAME ON!
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Triston27 commented on the blog post Big Dance: Day One 3 hours ago
1-point game with just 30 seconds left
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Triston27 commented on the blog post Big Dance: Day One 3 hours ago
1-point game with just 3 seconds left
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Trips Right commented on the blog post March Madness Open thread 3 hours, 1 minute ago
Morris down one even after getting hosed on a jump ball call. 35 to go
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Trips Right commented on the blog post March Madness Open thread 3 hours, 5 minutes ago
Morris down six with a minute left. They’re done.
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Trips Right commented on the blog post March Madness Open thread 3 hours, 6 minutes ago
Baylor looks like a final four team
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Black Scholes said:
June 10th, 2009 at 11:27 am
I think Minny is a great add. Would be a worthwhile road trip.
srr50 said:
June 10th, 2009 at 11:32 am
I suggest that we bring along Roger Staubach and Drew Pearson for the ceremonial coin toss.
ed said:
June 10th, 2009 at 11:43 am
Minnesota’s fine; better than a directional school or a I-AA. Bottom line is we make or break our season against OU and, some years, a solid to even real good Tech or Nebraska or A&M.
Non-conference opponents matter only as a way to prepare for the real deal. I’m fine with Oklahoma State, Notre Dame and Ohio State knocking themselves out of the national title game with losses in September.
Huckleberry said:
June 10th, 2009 at 11:44 am
That’s just mean srr50. Why would you want to see Nate Wright trip on a blade of grass and stumble to the ground?
liz lemon said:
June 10th, 2009 at 11:53 am
i want to go there
Bill Little said:
June 10th, 2009 at 11:55 am
We traveled to El Paso to play the UTEP Minors.
By “El Paso,” so you mean the city that hugs the border between New Mexico and Texas, as well as the international juxtaposition of the United States and the Republic of Mexico?
Minnesotahorn said:
June 10th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
Srr50 and Huck, you two fucksticks are going to discover the finer points of ‘pass interference’. In Oxford.
echeese said:
June 10th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
El Paso is spanish for “the paso”.
ponderos said:
June 10th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
I’m fine with Oklahoma State, Notre Dame and Ohio State knocking themselves out of the national title game with losses in September.
You lost me with “Oklahoma State” and “national title game” in the same sentence.
Ojnab Bob said:
June 10th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
MNhorn, aren’t you being pretty unfair in re the U of Minnesota’s academics? I’m not an alum, but according to the US News (which you cite yourself) UT is #15 and the U of MN is #22. That sounds very much like “comparable academics” to this neutral party…
http://colleges.usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/college/national-top-public
Stuck in MN said:
June 10th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
I take exception with your claim that a trip to Minnesota might add to the enjoyment of Texas fans. Unless you want to go fishing in July or August, there is no reason anyone should visit this state- ever.
And Ojnab is most certainly not a Gopher alum. He went to some school in Boston, but he rarely brings that fact up in casual conversation.
Minnesotahorn said:
June 10th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Ojnab Bob-
I was using US News’ overall list, not just public universities and on that UT is top tier and U of M is second. Also while U of M has always been a top notch research institution, only recently have its overall academics improved to a better than average level.
Stuck in MN-
There are plenty of great things to do on a single late August, early September weekend: The State Fair, Hiawatha Falls, Fort Snelling, Lake Minnetonka and more parks than I could list, all set against the background of the brilliant change of seasons.
Ha! You can tell who lives there and who lives in Austin by which one of us speaks of Minneapolis in whimsical tones. Still, while I won’t be choosing to live there again I do disagree that it’s a terrible place to visit, particularly at that time of year.
HenryJames said:
June 10th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
You could play basketball with Prince.
Mike Price said:
June 10th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
I give this website two boners down. I just went from midnight to six. As did my stripper. First, the website name, “Barking Carnival,” implies some sort of animal-based lewd acts. Other than the occasional picture of a gelding in a field, I see none of that. Completely misleading. Second, the website does feature pictures of old guys holding balls. If I wanted to see an old guy holding balls, I would watch myself having sex in the mirror.
Mike Price said:
June 10th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
I did enjoy the references to the Horned Frogs.
Fish or Steak said:
June 10th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
I like the Twin Cities becuase its the home of Prince. There is also a thriving arts district in the Twin Cities. What about Mall of America? Its bigger than King of Prussia Mall. Its clean. Lots of fresh air. Nothing wrong with Minnesota.
Fish or Steak said:
June 10th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
I went to Minneapolis once with one of my favourite people (Gia Carangi). This was way back when(before she passed). We went into this restaurant specialising in Swedish food. You don’t normally think and ponder about Swedish cuisine the way you would with French cuisine or Mexican cuisine. Its so different. Think red, sweet and sour, fish-and glee! That is the best way I can describe it. They even served some Minnesota regional dishes.
TXinDC said:
June 10th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
“Think red, sweet and sour, fish-and glee!”
So, you mean… Swedish Fish, right?
Mysterious Package said:
June 10th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
I would knock the back out?
CrazyJoeDavola66 said:
June 10th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
I’m all for this, if only to get the chance to have Tommy Stinson serving me a corn-dog from one of the concession stands.
Black Scholes said:
June 10th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
I think Fish or Steak believes he is on the Barking Traveler site. Or maybe Rick Steves’ ‘Minnesota Through the Back Door’. (Write your own jokes on that one.)
Bob in Houston said:
June 10th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
“I suggest that we bring along Roger Staubach and Drew Pearson for the ceremonial coin toss.”
Look for Nate Wright to nudge Pearson out of the way and grab the coin…
The General said:
June 10th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
Monthly average high temperature Minneapolis in September = 71 degrees
Monthly average high temperature Austin in September = Eleventy Billion degrees
Good enough for me.
The Clapper said:
June 10th, 2009 at 5:50 pm
Meh.
Until the BCS emphasizes strength of schedule more, this is the trend, and it’s a really bad one for college football.
Newy25 said:
June 11th, 2009 at 3:27 am
“I take exception with your claim that a trip to Minnesota might add to the enjoyment of Texas fans. Unless you want to go fishing in July or August, there is no reason anyone should visit this state- ever.”
Golfing in Minnesota in September is one of the most enjoyable things one can do in this country.
NBMisha said:
June 11th, 2009 at 3:32 am
Well, there’s the ought to be, and the is. And this is an improvement in the “is”.
My future co-parents in law are in Minneapolis and I want to digust them with this event.
BatesHorn said:
June 11th, 2009 at 5:59 am
It’s better than Sam Houston State or sitting on the East side during a Day game in Early September, watching us beat the piss out of Northwest Missouri Sisters of the Poor Tech.
And FWIW, while not hot like girls in Oxford, upper midwest girls are verrrrry vigorous in the bedroom.
Stuck in MN said:
June 11th, 2009 at 7:41 am
…until you marry them.
BatesHorn said:
June 11th, 2009 at 9:53 am
Huh. My ex wife from Maine was the same way. Funny that.
Steak or Fish said:
June 11th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
No use. I’m trying to educate the masses on the delights of Swedish cuisine and your making fun of my experience.
Horned Up said:
June 11th, 2009 at 1:15 pm
Steak or Fish or Fish or Steak:Your too damn pompous! Do you come from a wealthy home?
Steak or Fish said:
June 11th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
Dear Horned Up whore-I’m a poor fuckin’ slob.
Minnesotahorn said:
June 11th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
Yes, I remember now I had lasagne.
Watcher said:
June 12th, 2009 at 2:23 am
Delete thread, ban user.
Blueshorn said:
June 12th, 2009 at 7:09 am
Hey, without the trip to El Paso, we would have missed the handjob on the hill.
DougNTexas said:
June 13th, 2009 at 11:29 pm
“Until the BCS emphasizes strength of schedule more, this is the trend, and it’s a really bad one for college football.”
Well ND has made a nice career out of playing all the Service Academies which includes even the Boy Scouts of America & a future game against the mighty Guys & Girls of The Yale Glee Club. I don’t see where that has hurt ND with it’s coverage on ESPN?
jimmyjazz said:
June 14th, 2009 at 6:02 am
If Tommy Stinson is flingin’ corndogs, I’m there.
Facebook User said:
June 15th, 2009 at 8:46 am
I’m up for the Bash & Pop reunion tour.
Tate Pittman said:
June 15th, 2009 at 9:02 am
Unlike the squeamish cunts in College Station, that girl on the hill in El Paso was very helpful.
NoStar7 said:
July 21st, 2009 at 3:53 am
DougNTex, your brrain? is fried w/the insane temps in that shithole called Texas. NOT a ND fan, but they’ve never scheduled teams like,ULM, FAU, ArSt,NTx, SamHouston, as your beloved “Horns” have. As for the ladies to compare Oxford, to the Honies in LA, is preposperous!! I’ll take a little snow over 100 degrees any day! Fuck Bush & Texas.
Minnesotahorn said:
August 7th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
That’s funny. A month and a half later dude somehow finds this thread and drops that reply. Come back NoStar7! I get the impression you’ve got more laughs for us in you!
Laila Aswegan said:
January 15th, 2010 at 1:04 pm
Thanks for this excellent write up. I surely liked every little part of it. I have you bookmarked and will be reading more.