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Vince Young is a Black Dude

Posted by Doperbo on June 9th, 2009 under Football

AP- A late breaking story from Houston surfaced this earlier week that appears to confirm the rumors height= that the current Tennessee Titans backup quarterback, Vincent Young, is secretly African American. Allegations of suspected blackness have followed the troubled young quarterback throughout his career; his jocularity, frequent idiomatic usage of the word “dog”, the alleged treatment of the playbook as if it were the Voynich manuscript, indeed there has long been a consistent buzz around Young that he may, in fact, be a black dude. Multiple NFL sources have speculated directly on the subject in print media and blogs. To date none have been confirmed, but that may have changed in the last few weeks. Said Adam Schefter of the NFL Network recently “If you spend a lot of time with Vince, really get to know him, put in the effort, you almost get the feeling he’s not Jewish. Tiki and I were just talking about it the other day. Not a big tsimmes, but it’s hard to explain.”

Teammate LenDale White refused to comment, stating “I ain’t saying he is, or he ain’t, you know. Vince is Vince” but others are starting to question as well. From a recent interview with Jeff Fisher, Young’s current head coach:

    [Fisher] “I first started to suspect something after Kerry got hurt black powder hunting down in Bucksnort last year. He was only out a few days but Vince came up and asked me what that was.”

    [Chris Mortenson] “What black powder was?”

    [Fisher] “No. A buck snort.”

Telling.

Perhaps more damaging is the video footage recently released which confirms that Young, among other things, is capable of dancing and verbally rhyming to a rhythmic set cadence. When asked about the incident Young confirmed that he was indeed possessed of these self-termed “angry skills”, then proceeded to extoll his support for one William Dennis, a known African American and purveyor of the gangster genre of music, which is known to cause susceptible River Oaks teens to attempt to install bass cannons in their dad’s Audis without permission.

Young’s response to these allegations remains a mystery, mainly due to translational issues, so we’ve attempted to render them in graphic format for clarity.

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It’s not clear what this means, nor how Young will cope with this most recent setback; efforts to encourage him to listen to John Mayer or enroll in Cotillion have been rebuffed according to insiders. Not all in the Titans camp have given up on him though, owner Bud Adams released a statement citing “his continued support for Mr. Young…” Said Adams, “I also support the ghetto boys, and all the ghetto children, the little guys Elvis sang about. I’m proud of Vince’s community efforts…”

Whether or not Vince can gain back the trust of his fans remains to be seen.

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33 Responses

  1. hobbs said:

    June 9th, 2009 at 10:16 am

    Holla

  2. uthookem said:

    June 9th, 2009 at 10:28 am

    Anyone try sending him a Coldplay mix tape?

  3. Tiger Woods said:

    June 9th, 2009 at 10:30 am

    I’ve always wanted to say this… For Shizzle!

  4. Vasherized said:

    June 9th, 2009 at 10:37 am

    That’s a wicked awesome graph, Doperbo.

  5. Crazy Joe Clark said:

    June 9th, 2009 at 10:40 am

    Vince doesn’t have to do anything but stay black and die.

  6. The General said:

    June 9th, 2009 at 11:25 am

    “That’s a wicked awesome graph, Doperbo.”

    This needs to be (and in fact has been) repeated. I am in lack of sleep loopy uncontrollable laughter pain.

    Also, I had to google the Voynich manuscript and tsimmes (even though I am kinda Jewish). Word.

  7. CloseToJumping said:

    June 9th, 2009 at 11:26 am

    I can honestly type that I don’t know what in the fuck this post is supposed to mean. I prefer the doperbo that writes treatises on the secondary coaching wizardry of Duane Akina.

  8. BatesHorn said:

    June 9th, 2009 at 11:46 am

    The jay-z reference is strong.

  9. Doperbo said:

    June 9th, 2009 at 11:59 am

    I’d attribute the graph but it was emailed to me. We should track down the creator.

    CTJ- It’s satire, or at least it’s supposed to be. Cutler whines himself into a trade, Leinart’s out increasing the southwest’s illegitimate kid count, yet it’s news (in the perjorative sense) every time Vince hangs out in a club. Oh goodness! Lawks a mussy! He knows a Geto Boy!

    I find it slightly racist and very silly. That’s the only point.

  10. Whitey said:

    June 9th, 2009 at 12:14 pm

    I’m presently working a deal to get Vince on our team. I just can’t decide who to dangle out there as trade bait. I’m thinking Carrot Top.

  11. Bartoncreek said:

    June 9th, 2009 at 12:21 pm

    I actually understood this one better than some of Doperbo’s other stuff which routinely flies over my head. Despite my IQ I am a moron sometimes.

    I agree and it is getting ridiculous with regards to Vince. He is immature and petulant while Cutler and Favre are tough gamers? Gee, wonder why the difference?

  12. Viper said:

    June 9th, 2009 at 12:25 pm

    I don’t know if that specific one is from there, but you can find tons of funny graphs like that at http://www.graphjams.com

  13. Viper said:

    June 9th, 2009 at 12:25 pm

    sorry, http://graphjam.com/ no ‘S’

  14. SizzleChest said:

    June 9th, 2009 at 3:17 pm

    nice tags.

  15. txhawk said:

    June 9th, 2009 at 4:11 pm

    “Geto” ?

  16. Bushwick said:

    June 9th, 2009 at 4:45 pm

    Oh nigga please.

  17. maverick said:

    June 9th, 2009 at 6:50 pm

    Simple white boy Longhorn laughing my ass off….How the hell did we let a black dude be our quarterback–you sure cannot tell by looking at him….so freakin sneaking. How did this happen?

  18. Jamal Watson '07 said:

    June 10th, 2009 at 10:18 am

    Doperbo-I thought you were taking a break this summer. I was just about to sing Eli & Peyton’s favorite song (Summertime…and the livin’ is easy-Louis Armstrong) and then I come across this article.

  19. Let the dog outta the bag and onto ur lap when flying said:

    June 10th, 2009 at 10:21 am

    The graph-what the hell????

  20. WICCApedia said:

    June 10th, 2009 at 10:28 am

    He does not have a Wiccapedia page.

  21. PDQ said:

    June 10th, 2009 at 10:34 am

    Its racist, but its also a grand display of free speech. Listen to any number of songs by “Public Enemy” or “NWA” and you’ll understand. Its all the same, just a different venue, that’s all.

  22. I won't rest! Trapt in the 80's said:

    June 10th, 2009 at 11:07 am

    Whatever happened to good music? Smiling Faces by The Undisputed Truth, MacArthur Park by Donna Summer, A little less converation by Elvis. All I ever hear is racist/mysoginist rap music blaring out of car sound systems. Geto Boys-music to some-alot of loud noises to others. Don’t get me wrong. Some rap is exceptionally good. I went to a rap party in North Philly once and there was this tremendous (400 pounder,easy) black woman rapping. The crowd was mostly white. She took the place by storm. Jemima rapped for over 20 minutes and the room was still beggin’ for more!

  23. Tevin from Houston said:

    June 10th, 2009 at 11:15 am

    Doperbo- you crazy, man.

  24. ACLU said:

    June 10th, 2009 at 11:22 am

    Doperbo: do not let anyone try to change who you are or what you write/blog. P.S. I enjoy reading your Titans articles.

  25. Gravy Train said:

    June 10th, 2009 at 11:29 am

    Just another devilish article from the barking dawgs. (snicker) no different than the devilish Ice T–Ice Cube—dig???

  26. Kat K. L V Guess who! said:

    June 10th, 2009 at 11:47 am

    Doperbo is pretty rad. He still tawks like its 1989. Are you at work right now, Doperbo? Your friend, Kat.

  27. Spider said:

    June 10th, 2009 at 11:56 am

    And in Mexico they still dress like it’s 1979.

    Sometimes things take a while.

  28. D Day & Royal Row said:

    June 10th, 2009 at 12:26 pm

    Chris Brown is a pretty good singer. He is one of the few artists out there that can actually sing. Also-Vince Young maybe an Ethiopian Jew.

  29. Trips Right said:

    June 10th, 2009 at 12:48 pm

    Gotta love the “Straight, Smooth Hair Without Chemicals” google ad.

  30. Grocery shopping is trendy said:

    June 10th, 2009 at 1:00 pm

    I hate super straight hair!

  31. Paramore kixx Georgette on MTM said:

    June 11th, 2009 at 12:57 pm

    Bitches probably refers to women under the age of 30, I take it.

  32. Hoosier said:

    June 11th, 2009 at 2:49 pm

    i feel bad for some of you… son.

    ps – i’m black.

  33. Ryan said:

    June 12th, 2009 at 4:13 pm

    yea the graph came from graphjam i saw that one a while back

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