I ask anyone who cares about ethics in sports and out of sports to call for the SUSPENSION of the OU football program for a minimum of two years and a maximum of seven. Thank you.

1. Ryan Broyles shouldn’t be playing football. In fact, he shouldn’t be going to school anywhere but a junior college somewhere. He could work at McDonald’s (IF he’s lucky enough to get hired anywhere) and prepare for life as a convicted felon. The fact is, Broyles is a PIG who revels in the fathead STOOPS at my school. If he were, say, a fourth-team WR, his tail would be in Pauls Valley with a notice saying “STAY OFF OUR CAMPUS.” If you’re reading this, Broyles, I hope you never play football again. You shouldn’t be on an already-corrupted team. If I’m in the shoes of the guy from whose station you STOLE gasoline, I’m scared crapless of you playing on the field.

2. Justiin Chaisson is a SCHMUCK who shouldn’t be in University College at OU. (Look it up at http://www.ou.edu under “People Search,” and you’ll find it.) If I were that young lady’s stepdad, I would hope he wouldn’t EVER come near ANYONE outside of class. Chaisson should be in prison.

3. Dusty Dvoracek is a sorry craphead who was even lucky IN THE FIRST PLACE to a) get another chance from Coach Stoopid, and b) even get drafted by the Chicago Bears. Heck, Fridge got traded to Philadelphia in ‘93, but they don’t need a beater.

4. How does ANYONE give Jarboe a chance? Let me tell you something, Sooner fans. I feel sorry for ANYONE who was unfairly cut from Stoops’ band of criminals in favor of Jarbonehead, one that did everything right. How does a good kid from, say, Elk City or Ponca City not get recruited because they want a gangster?

Stoops is a crime-enabler, and for him to say that (4) is recruitable because of racial profiling by police in Georgia is terrible. Dusty SHOULD be serving AT LEAST ten years in prison because of what he did. Broyles is a for-sure felon without question. So is Chaisson. Justin Chaisson WILL NEVER be able to transfer if he is convicted. (How the heck does he get a plea deal? And how does he get to come to fhe flagship school of Oklahoma?) The fact that he had to face a judge on FELONY charges will weigh heavily in the minds of admissions officers.

5. Billy Sims is a stupid, stupid, stupid, sick deadbeat who doesn’t even know how to SPELL “child support.” He starts off well with the “c” and the “h” but then gets caught up in “BOOMER!” It would take him twenty minutes to spell “child support,” and then he would mess up. Sooner fans and fellow students who even care to go to the games, ask yourself this: Are you proud of your team heritage? Sims, Chaisson, Broyles, Dvoracek, and Jarboe, not to mention more idiots (see below)? I hope Bradford and White feel bad letting a scumbag like Sims at BRADFORD’S and WHITE’S Heisman coronation. If you’re not embarrassed, then you’ve been drinking or drugging OR BOTH.

6. Barry Switzer is a stupidhead. The sorriest coach to win a Super Bowl. The worst coach to “win” (read: cheat for) three national titles. Sooner fans, QUIT DRINKING THE KOOL-AID OF NATIONAL “PRIDE” and look at the criminal–CRIMINAL–with which Switzer was involved
in trouble.

The 1983 insider trading case. Do you want a coach signing autographs near youthful students knowing he did that? The 1984 DWI case. Coach DWI Switzer. Do you really like the guy?

7. Stoops is also a crime-monger, but unlike Switzer, he doesn’t commit crimes. He lets his players do the criminal activity. (So we have heard.)

I am an OU student, but my school’s “football team” is no endearing quality of an otherwise promise-filled state. (Band of criminals is a better term.) I’ve heard the ever-so-stupid delusion that “what happens off the field has no bearing on the team’s performance. You gotta support our team!” I don’t “gotta” cheer for slugs. No, I won’t condone the twenty-something (in number, not in age) arrests under Urban Meyer at U. of Florida. I won’t condone anything that has happened at any other school. But you need to remember something.

Schools like U. of Miami, Florida State U., and the U. of Southern California are sometimes known for their criminal activity among players. Schools like Auburn U. (in particular, the Eric Ramsey scandal), SMU (the only team to be placed on the “death penalty), and U. of Houston (particularly the 1988-89 scandal) are known for their cheating. OU, the fact that this football program is known for BOTH is a reputation in which we couldn’t POSSIBLY have pride in.

I ask anyone who cares to engage in calling for the SUSPENSION of the OU football program for a minimum of two years and a maximum of seven. Thank you.

Best part of the Jerry Parks shooting of Zarak Peters is that they were good friends and high school teammates at FB Willowridge who go into an argument over a cassette tape. Must have been one helluva a mix tape.

Notre Dame, Michigan, and Texas – some order there in. You might throw USC in there. As college football observers understand that OU only excels when they cheat. Thus, they don’t get much consideration from legitimate CFB fans. I believe I’ve tried to explain why but at this point it’s like trying to explain advanced mathematics to a termite.

We Longhorns offer our football players a chance to garnish an education from a superb university, spend four years rent paid in Austin, Texas, the opportunity to kick the shit out of your goobers. As opposed to making a guy spend four years in Norman, get a 2nd rate education, and have to get their asses handed to them win regularity in October. Only one if those seems like it should be illegal.

I was kind, too.