Football Articles
The Oklahoma All-Garbage Team
Posted by CloseToJumping on May 23rd, 2009 under Football
The recent arrest, plea agreement to a lesser charge, and general completion of initiation requirements to the OU football program by Justin Chaisson reminded me that’s it’s time to be reminded of just how phenomenal the OU program – its players, coaches, administrators, and fans are at glamorizing lawlessness and general corruption. Of course, it isn’t just the glamorizing of miserable and shitty behavior, but it’s the general insouciance with which their entire world deals with the transgressions. Most participants with the OU program are, at worst, gleeful revelers in the system and, at best, merely apologists to the rest of us for everything the OU program appears to stand for. I decided to pay homage to the college football equivalent of a Cambodian Whorehouse & Daycare Center in the form of an all-time greatest team, of sorts. It is the 20th anniversary of the Greatest SI Cover of All-Time, after all.
Hi!
As amazing as it seems, I honestly couldn’t come up with a full starting lineup at a few positions for this squad. I am a relatively young guy, so it’s likely simply a product of me only following CFB religiously for the past 20 years. Oh, and I have a life, so there was only so much thinking I was going to do on the matter. If you have some others to add, and there is no doubt in my mind that a 3-deep can be formed, please help me out.
Anyway, I apologize for the length in advance, but there was too much good stuff to work with and I lack self-control.
Let’s start on offense, because getting offensive is what this OU team does best.
QB
1st Team
Charles Thompson – Ok, look, this was obligatory, but does it ever get old? Barry Switzer found this sped breakdancing at a car dealership, probably Big Red Sports. After brushes with the law for drugs before joining the OU team, observers of the program had no doubt that this guy would fit right in. Few, if anyone, knew what level of stardom this guy would achieve, however. Arrested for dealing cocaine to an undercover FBI agent while the starting QB of the Sooner team, Thompson went on to immortalize himself and the OU program in the aforementioned cover of SI. He went on to be arrested multiple other times down the road, included once for PI in the middle of an Oklahoma hotel lobby. Recent times have him calling high school football games in the great state of Oklahoma. Having this guy near influential young athletes somehow makes sense in the Okie mindset. Funny sidenote, depending upon perspective, to Thompson is that Switzer was tipped off to the ongoing FBI investigation for which Thompson was actually going to be a pawn. Being the good ol’guy that Barry is, he went ahead and tipped Thompson off and blew the larger investigation that would have kept more drugs and dealers off the street. Switzer went, as usual, unpunished. One more funny sidenote – Thompson later repaid Switzer’s goodwill by helping a friend break into Barry Switzer’s house, where they stole 25 championship rings and were later busted trying to sell them.
2nd Team
Brent Rawls – This is a tough one. How does one not choose Rhett Bomar? Or perhaps Jamelle Holieway (multiple drug & DUI transgressions)? I view it as pretty easy. Rawls chose OU at the height of his high school recruiting hype at Shreveport Evangel. Sooners viewed him as the next big thing, but like all big time QB recruits under Stoops, Rawls busted worse than 3 face cards in BlackJack. I give Rawls the nod on the 2nd team because of his general incompetence when it comes to the simplest of things, like getting drunk. He received a PI after falling backwards out of the bed of a moving vehicle, also busting his head. Upon his return to the team months later, and they all return after committing crimes when they play for OU, he broke a hand while tackling a player in practice that had just intercepted him. Again, buffoonery plays a part. Rawls was last seen playing for the Sioux City Bandits, an indoor football team. Yes, you read that.
Honorable Mention
Dean Blevins – I give him this for general douchebaggery and calling the worst and most biased Texas-OU game in televised history.
Tailback
1st Team
Billy Sims – After a storied career, winning the Heisman and playing well in the pros for Detroit, Sims returned to Norman. He’s split his post-playing days between a busy schedule of panhandling to Sooner fans outside the Cotton Bowl before and after various Red River Shootouts, living underneath Interstate overpasses, and heckling his own Sooner counterparts on national TV after they too have won the Heisman. This is a guy that was actually fired from the Sooner Athletic Department at one point by many accounts.
2nd Team
Glen Bell – Few folks may remember Glen, largely because he wound up being acquitted for his biggest alleged crime. In the 1988-1989 winter, Bell at a minimum participated as a willing witness in the gang rape of a female coed inside a dorm room at Bud Hall, the OU athletic dorm. He was indicted and tried for the crime, but was the 1 participant of the 3 OU football players that was allowed to walk away free. Acquitted by a jury of his Okie peers, but not in the forum of public opinion – who continue to hold him accountable for his encouragement of the events. Well, perhaps not in Oklahoma, but here in the rest of the world, we certainly should.
Honorable Mention
David Overstreet – Another stud that went on to big things at the next level, most prominently with the storied Allouettes of the CFL. Overstreet was accused of his own incident of gang rape (with another OU teammate that we’ll address in a bit) when he was killed in a car accident in 1984. He was discovered to be driving drunk at the time of his death. The charges for rape were apparently dropped post-humously by the victim.
Wide Receiver
1st Team
Josh Jarboe – In spite of mounting evidence of Jarboe’s complete thuggery in the greater Atlanta area before his eventual signing with the Sooners and Coach Second Chance Stoops, Bob went ahead and inked the guy. Stoops at the time justified the signing with his own accusations of racial profiling by the Dekalb County police. Hilariously, Jarboe didn’t stop there and went on to create a rap video glorifying guns, kicking bitches, and other things of that ilk while at OU. This, apparently, crossed the Sooner line in terms of embarrassment, which is saying something, and only then was Jarboe sent packing. Jarboe’s felony conviction wasn’t enough. It was a rap video on YouTube that did him in. More likely, Stoops and Co. got a better picture of Jarboe’s skills over the 2008 summer and decided that he wasn’t worth the hype, the headache, or the ship since they had 3 seniors returning. They also had Ryan Broyles as an underclassmen that could not only satisfy their need to have a backup that could catch, but also had a proclivity for committing crimes…
Ryan Broyles – Ol’Ryan’s going to be a heck of player for OU. He’s got the skills to be elusive, relatively speaking, both on and off the field. In the early part of 2008, Broyles was busted for breaking into a convenience store and basically ransacking and stealing shit. The cops were never able to determine how the petty thief was able to obtain the store’s entry codes and he never admitted to how he did it, so they were forced to plea him down to a reduced sentence and a $100 fine. Stoops, the Nerf wall of discipline, was able bring the sponge hammer down on his player with a one game suspension.
2nd Team & Honorable Mention
Given that the Sooners ran the Wishbone for multiple decades, the odds have played out against me for thinking up or finding any other players that fit the bill at the WR spots. Help here would be appreciated. I pondered Malcolm Kelly for a number of reasons, but simply being a statehopping, whining bitch didn’t wind up being enough to make the cut.
Tight End
1st Team
Bernard Hall – Who? Oh come on, you have to remember this guy. Hall was actually convicted of participating in the gang rape of the coed that Glen Bell watched. The absurdity of the participation of Hall in the gang rape is that, by all accounts, he shouldn’t have been present. But this is Oklahoma. Hall had been booted off the team several years before due to stealing numerous personal items from his fellow team members. He was investigated by the local DA for the matter. Switzer allowed his removal from the team, even though Hall was a talented player, due to the presence of All-American Keith Jackson in the starting slot. When the team lost two other TEs in the following season, Switzer rushed to reinstate Hall to the team. Hall promptly got injured and was a non-contributor to the ’88 season. He started contributing early to the ’89 effort with the rape of a female in Bud Wilkinson Hall.
2nd Team
Keith Jackson – Keith’s record appears to be largely clean. He’s listed here due to the fact that his rampant motherfuckery with new recruits and players within the program during his tenure led to the proliferation of the piece of shit lifestyle that the Sooner football players exhibited on campus. He was one of the lead players to educate the incoming players on how Sooner football players roll on campus.
Honorable Mention
Trent Smith – I thought about Gresham, who has actually been recently arrested and was dumb enough to stay and play as opposed to taking the millions and playing in the pros next year. Good luck beating the brackets all year in ’09, genius. Anyway, Smith gets the nod due to his behavior and remarks towards Texas during and after his term on the OU football team. The guy took a ton of effort to sound like Brian Bosworth in every interview before using up his eligibility to go on to a probable life of failure as a former OU student, as most do.
OL
1st Team (Note: There are 5 spots, so naming more than a 1st team is overkill, although there’s more than 5 to choose from, easy, when it comes to OU OLs)
Nigel Clay – Nigel was the second guy convicted in the Bud Hall gang rape of the female coed. Apparently, Glen Bell watched, Nigel Clay and Bernard Hall did the deed. Clay was sent to prison for 10 years for his end. Pretty much any time you’re involved with a gang rape, you make the 1st team. Nigel never admitted his guilt, eventually telling USA Today in an article while in prison that “I hate to say it, but a lot of the women at Oklahoma were sluts. They’d have sex with the players just to have sex with a football player.”
Greg Roberts – Roberts won the Outland Trophy in 1978 for the okies. He went on to Tampa and mediocrity until he found the highlight reel again, this time by leading the charge as a drug dealer. Roberts was busted for running a cocaine trafficking ring in Tampa in the 80’s. He was also the other participant in the alleged gang rape with David Overstreet mentioned earlier.
JD Quinn – Quinn is an easy selection for being dumb enough to play sacrificial lamb in the Big Red Sports scandal. He’s more or less held his tongue over the years, so he must have been paid off pretty well. An also-ran compared to the Bomar and Peterson pieces to the BRS issues, he still earns 1st team honors for stupidity. Quinn embodies the primary reason OU always walks largely unscathed from allegations – the players simply refuse to talk and hold the university accountable.
Brandon Walker – Another recent example of OU idiocy and general recklessness, Walker is one of the more recent okie OLs to be busted in some manner for driving under the influence or drug usage. He had the smart timing to do this after being picked up by the Houston Texans. He promptly found himself out of a job following his arrest. Walker represents any number of Sooners over the years to embarrass themselves and their school due to substance abuse transgressions.
Chad Roark – You may not remember this guy, but if you don’t, you haven’t been paying attention. Roark makes the 1st team for a number of reasons. The primary reason is due to his inability to muscle through the OU OL offseason and training program. Jerry Schmidt, the OU S&C Coach known for attacking opposing players on the sidelines and generally being a steroid-addled buffoon, allegedly made this guy eat his own vomit after puking during a lifting or conditioning session. Roark, and stories vary, either wound up outright refusing, or committing the act and then later quitting out of disdain. Either way, what kind of pussy refuses to chew up his own vomit when a coach requires it for the proof of extra effort? Another reason Roark makes the first team is for his awesome MySpace page, which includes a purported propensity for reading poetry and walking on beaches in East Central Oklahoma. Wow. He also admits to liking ECU much better than OU on the same page.
Defensive Line
1st Team (Note: Again, there are so many positions and so many players that deserve mention that this group could be listed 3 deep or more. We’ll stick with the 1st team.)
Justin Chaisson – There isn’t a ton to say here that hasn’t been said. He’s shown every sign necessary of being a sociopath with a proclivity for misogyny. I’m sure it will take something akin to rape or a YouTube video to see him booted before the end of year one. The Sooner rationalizing over this guy is nothing more than a standard example of their behavior whenever they take on someone that no one else will and no one else should.
Dusty Dvoracek – This star DL once clubbed one of his own best friends into a coma and was ultimately kicked off the team. This beating incident happened after several others, leaving a wake of smaller, beaten men behind him. Poor Dusty was later diagnosed with being a raging alcoholic. Bob Stoops, the Mother Theresa of CFB, took pity on the poor soul and pushed to have him reinstated. The NCAA, because OU chopped their dick clean off in the 90’s, cowed down and gave the guy a medical exemption and a 6th year of eligibility. If you missed Sooners at the time explaining this one and bleeding their hearts out for both Stoops and poor Dusty, you missed hilarity in action. If Dusty Dvoracek had been, say, a back-up OL or 3rd string QB, he would have found his fat, drunken, bullying ass on the side of the curb where it belonged just the same as you or I.
Demarcus Granger – Granger was but a wee 21 year old “kid” when he decided he needed a jacket during the 2008 Fiesta Bowl trip. Unfortunately for the jacket and Granger, he decided he really didn’t need to pay for it. So he didn’t. He was promptly busted and sent home for it. Bob Stoops is a disciplinarian of the shyest order. He wouldn’t tolerate that kind of nonsense. For a game, at least. Granger came back this year and was largely irrelevant. Stoops found another guy, Adrien Taylor, to take his starting role. Granger remains a part of the team heading into 2009. Now that he’s become expendable, any further incidents will probably have Stoops moving with authority to dump him.
Jimbo Elrod – Elrod was an All-American DE in the 70’s for the Sooners. He was also a bust in the NFL. After winding up broke and without much in the way of opportunity, Elrod apparently decided to take a nosedive, literally, into the world of cocaine and marijuana. At one point, he allegedly stole a truck and was later arrested for it. Given that all of this occurred in Oklahoma, I am not sure whether anything materialized for this state idol in the way of convictions or prison time. I doubt it. He eventually found his way into the media and is now a celebrated Oklahoma City sports radio personality, partnering with OU’s best example of media class, convicted felon James Hale.
Honorable Mention here for Tony Casillas for wearing a belly ring during his playing days in the 80’s at OU.
Had Lynn McGruder not rescued a family of 5 from a burning car wreck, I’d have happily thrown him into this list for getting tossed from Tennessee (it takes a lot to be booted from Tennessee – they just signed a guy that helped rape an underaged relative) for selling bricks of pot out of his dorm room, only to be happily signed by Ol’Second Chance Bob. This appears to be one time in which it worked out in everyone’s favor except OU opponents.
Linebacker
1st Team
Brian Bosworth – This is actually one of the few people on the planet that I’d risk my own life for in an effort to take his. Were I driving near the edge of a cliff and saw The Boz hiking up near the ledge ahead of me, it would be a very difficult problem in terms of the mental math between the value of continuing to breathe and the value of seeing the look on his face as we both vaulted towards certain death, thousands of feet below. Were I eating dinner with a plastic spork in prison and Bosworth sat two tables over as a leader of some white supremacist group and his posse let down their guard for a moment, I might find it compelling to take a dive for his throat, at which point I’d thrust the spork violently towards the general vicinity of his jugular in the hopes of giving him his before his posse regrouped and I got mine. Etc. These are fantasies and dilemmas I ponder daily. Anyway.
The beauty of Bosworth is the absurdity of the guy and his relationship with OU. He embarrassed them repeatedly, whether through on-the-field antics, getting busted for steroids and disgracing the school with a shirt about the ensuing suspension on the Orange Bowl sidelines, becoming one of the greatest busts ever in the NFL, or writing a tell-all book about the obscenities of the program during his time there. Yet somehow, this guy is celebrated by their fanbase to this day as some sort of demigod. They cheer him wildly when he makes an appearance at a game or appears on tv during a broadcast. While bewildering, it’s also entertaining. If anyone ever asks me why I view OU as a shithole and its fans as the guttural occupants, I tell the Bosworth story in its full glory. And that includes “Stone Cold”, his real estate efforts, and his pastimes of drunk driving and steroid abuse.
If you have seen “One Man’s Justice”, you are probably an okie.
Kert Kaspar – Kaspar is known in the record books of the RRS as having one of the longest interception returns for a touchdown in the history of the match-up. He’s known in the NCAA books as one of the primary recipients of improper benefits from a booster during his time on campus at OU. Kaspar was busted for driving a company car and receiving over $6,000 in salary for a job in which he had never done a minute of actual work. His case was a driving reason for one of the big infraction findings by the NCAA of OU in the 80’s, when the NCAA actually still had a pair of balls and knew how to use them.
Keenan Clayton – One could select Rufus Alexander or myriad other guys in this third coveted slot, but Clayton is a current player, so he gets the nod. Arrested recently for failure to appear and pay on an insurance violation, Clayton represents the continued return under Stoops of the outlaw past of the Sooner program. They’ve had 3 arrests this offseason, but give them time, there are 4 months left. My guess is that Clayton will not even be suspended for the arrest. However, if he is, you can bet it will be one game or less, and the game will not be against UT, BYU, or Miami. Starting ballers like Clayton continue to be largely exempt from Sooner punishment.
Defensive Back
1st Team (Note: Much like WR, this was a position in which I had a hard time finding good numbers and examples. Part of the issue remains my age and part of the issue is the age of the Internet and a dearth of old stories being available. Any help is welcome.)
Jerry Parks – Parks is another classic example of the glory days under Switzer. Parks is famous for having shot a fellow Sooner teammate in the middle of a dorm room during an argument. He didn’t like what the other guy had to say, so he went to his car or Barry Switzer’s locker, grabbed a handgun, and walked back into the room and shot his friend in the chest. The guy lived, so Parks ended up only spending 81 days in jail, unbelievably, and ended up transferring to another outlaw program, UH, to finish his playing career. He had his own dorm room there.
Ontei Jones – Jones is an example of the early Stoops days. Along with 6 other teammates, Jones joined in the beating of two fellow students at a frat party in 1999. Charges were never filed because, well, it’s the OU campus and these are OU football players. The two victims eventually sued for $10,000 per player. Jones went on to make a key interception in the national title game the following year against FSU.
Brandon Everage – Another example of the mighty hand of justice that Bob Stoops wields. Everage was once busted for buying pot near a Norman public school. He was suspended for the 1st quarter of the following year’s North Texas game. Everage was later arrested for possession of a fake ID but continued to play for the school. Everage was last seen trying to make an indoor team out of Utah, which means he could wind up on OK City sports radio or working for the OU athletic department some time soon.
Head Coach
1st Team
Barry Switzer – It is impossible to beat “The King” of the Crimson & Cream when it comes to outright chicanery and blatant cheating. No one has done more to set the entire sport of College Football back than Switzer. Under Switzer’s guidance, the Sooner program won multiple national titles while incurring multiple NCAA infractions and being the target of numerous exposes by SI and USA Today. The King was once caught by his assistant, Larry Lacewell, in his hotel room with Lacewell’s wife the night before an Orange Bowl against Lou Holtz’s Arkansas Razorbacks. Switzer was also busted for hiring a spy to watch and film UT practices before the annual RRS. Switzer denied it for years before eventually admitting that the accusations of cheating through spying were true.
Switzer is THE classic example of a walking piece of shit that the Sooner fanbase has proceeded to glorify into demigod status, embarrassing the human race in the process. What’s worse is that Fox has somehow made the determination that he belongs on tv, where we have to see him spout nonsense before, during, and after numerous post-season bowl games. When he is found dead, after a night of boozing and drugs in a hotel room, wearing some coworker’s wife’s panties, he should be dragged through the streets and then post-humously quartered. They should then bury his body parts in separate corners of the state of Oklahoma as a reminder to all who enter of what a disgusting geographic fart that state is.
2nd Team
Bob Stoops – We all know the story on Stoops. The only thing keeping this hypocrite from the First Team is that a guy named Barry Switzer actually exists and wasn’t made up in a pulp fiction novel.
Honorable Mention
Bud Wilkinson – Another celebrated cheater in Oklahoma, Wilkinson invented the model of: cheating, followed by a national title, followed by getting busted for cheating by the NCAA, followed by more wins and cheating, followed by more infractions, followed by sheepish denials and their accompanying winks. Wilkinson deserves mention beyond that for being so incompetent in other parts of his life that this icon of Oklahoma culture couldn’t even get elected after retirement by his own fanbase to Congress in DC.
Top Fan
1st Team
Allen Beckett – Beckett, a church deacon, is famous for tearing open a man’s scrotum in the middle of a bar in Oklahoma City. The alleged offense apparently took place because the victim was wearing a UT shirt in public. It takes a special kind of motherfucker to tear off another man’s scrotum because of his sports affiliation. Of course, in typical Oklahoma style, Beckett was set free and exonerated by Oklahoma authorities because “other witnesses came forward in Beckett’s defense”. Apparently, the UT victim must have torn his own scrotum out and attempted to frame poor Beckett for the event in a spiteful act of sports treachery.
2nd Team
William Lambert – Lambert was a convicted felon in the ‘80’s for selling several $100k worth of stolen stock certificates. Upon being set free, Lambert affiliated himself with the OU program through numerous business endeavors. Through this, he was able to funnel benefits and payments to players and coaches until the entire program was busted by the NCAA. The NCAA cited the need for the OU program to separate itself from Lambert in their findings. Lambert was last spotted as the majority silent ownership partner of Big Red Sports in Oklahoma City.
Thoughts? Other nominations?
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Activity
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ursa major wrote a new blog post: Baylor v. Sam Houston State Preview 1 hour, 19 minutes ago
If we can get past the statue alive, we have a chance…
(Sorry to Barking Carnival for stealing their meme.)
About the Bearkats
I will not waste your time extolling the various pros and cons of our team. Let’s learn a little bit about Sam Houston State.Seriously, who the #$@ spells Bearkats with a k? According to Wikipedia,
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Scipio Tex commented on the blog post Place Your Bets, Gentlemens 2 hours, 21 minutes ago
explain…
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Scipio Tex commented on the blog post Now THAT’S Taking One For The Team 2 hours, 37 minutes ago
He played for New Mexico State.
We recruited him briefly, along with Louisville, Pitt and a host of others. Everyone ran when they realized he was a lunatic.
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Scipio Tex commented on the blog post Now THAT’S Taking One For The Team 2 hours, 37 minutes ago
He played for New Mexico State.
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Jorgrama commented on the blog post Bracket Breakdown & Gambling Tips 2 hours, 39 minutes ago
Had some harsh words about Barnes in that podcast, that’s for sure. . . .
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dick commented on the blog post Now THAT’S Taking One For The Team 2 hours, 43 minutes ago
Didn’t we think we target him at one point?
He’s a good player, imagine UNM with him on their #3 seed roster.
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dick wrote a new blog post: FLV March Madness First Round Bets 2 hours, 45 minutes ago
Here we are, my favorite weekend of the year. I’ve taken sick days on the first two days of the tourney every year except my first and this year is no different (i’m feverish, which is true). My one goal for the gambling season (August thru first weekend of April) is to have enough money to bet on every
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Scipio Tex commented on the blog post Now THAT’S Taking One For The Team 3 hours, 15 minutes ago
Pope was a real head case recruit, if I recall correctly.
Shot four times in high school too.
Transferred to the Hall from New Mexico St after all of the Big Schools gave him the cold shoulder for his recruiting antics.
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Scipio Tex wrote a new blog post: Place Your Bets, Gentlemens 3 hours, 21 minutes ago
First, if you’re not reading Fading Las Vegas or March to March, you’re missing out on the best college basketball prognostication available in the free market. The vast bulk of Kevin Berger’s basketball writing is going to be found there, so click accordingly.
The key delineation to make is that Fading Las Vegas
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admin commented on the blog post Final Four Prediction 4 hours, 14 minutes ago
Baylor scares me. They have no idea what the bright lights feel like.
Huggins also has a horrible history with high seeds from his days at Cincy.
Bingo.
Bingo.
Yet Gary Williams has a ring. Maybe this is Huggy’s year and maybe Scott Drew can get laid in a morgue. Love to see what Huggy could have
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admin commented on the blog post Final Four Prediction 4 hours, 14 minutes ago
Baylor scares me. They have no idea what the bright lights feel like.
Huggins also has a horrible history with high seeds from his days at Cincy.
Bingo.
Bingo.
Yet Gary Williams has a ring. Maybe this is Huggy’s year and maybe Scott Drew can get laid in a morgue.
I have these guys in my bracket. DEEP.
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dick commented on the blog post Early NCAA Tournament Bets 4 hours, 25 minutes ago
Travis,
63-58 on KenPom for 121. That’s still a really low scoring game
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Scipio Tex commented on the blog post Bracket Breakdown & Gambling Tips 5 hours, 4 minutes ago
Thanks, dick. Interesting perspective.
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dick commented on the blog post The Definitive Bracket: 63 Guaranteed Winners! 5 hours, 28 minutes ago
KB,
You are going to be too smart for your own good. A common fault amongst Bracket makers. There’s a reason why the 55 year old admins win 80% of these things every year.
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dick commented on the blog post Bracket Breakdown & Gambling Tips 5 hours, 32 minutes ago
“which impresses me since I know he didn’t hear the podcast.”
You shouldn’t be, after reading both guys over the past year, KB knows more about basketball and gambling than Millman does and it’s not even close.
A little warning about Chad Millman. I was pretty excited when I heard that ESPN hired a
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Luke wrote a new blog post: Some perspective for a generation of Wildcats 5 hours, 32 minutes ago
Kansas State is beginning the NCAA tournament as a #2 seed with legitimate final four hopes (just ask the president) in less than 24 hours.
I’m going to need a moment to admire that sentence…….
OK, I’m good.
As the anticipation has built over the last few days, I’m sure I’m not the only one who has taken
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whiskey wrote a new blog post: Chalk Talk: The ND 3-4 Transition Part I- Expectations 5 hours, 58 minutes ago
Welcome to the first of what I hope will be many installments of “Chalk Talk” with LB Coach. I am excited to introduce LB Coach as a new contributor to One Foot Down. LB Coach has a significant amount of experience playing football at Notre Dame and on the professional level. He also has a
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dick commented on the blog post Early NCAA Tournament Bets 6 hours, 13 minutes ago
I’ll post all of my first day games tonight.
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srr50 wrote a new blog post: Now THAT’S Taking One For The Team 8 hours, 34 minutes ago
Aggie Corp with “Squeeze Army?”
POSERS
Texas Tech forward Darko Cohadarevic doesn’t just talk the talk — he walks the walk.
Tuesday night Tech faced Seton Hall in a first round NIT contest. With the game tied at 10, Seton Hall forward Herb Pope delivered two below-the-belt blows to Cohadarevic.
After Pope was ejected, Tech went on
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Kevin Berger commented on the blog post Bracket Breakdown & Gambling Tips 10 hours, 17 minutes ago
Louisville has a great chance if Jerry Smith is healthy.
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Kevin Berger commented on the blog post Final Four Prediction 10 hours, 18 minutes ago
Good team that took number 1 seeded Louisville to the wire in last year’s tournament. Start 3 seniors and two juniors, very athletic. Solid pass first point guard. Their leading scorer was player of the year in the conference.
Good club that plays multiple defenses.
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ghostofagroundgame commented on the blog post Bracket Breakdown & Gambling Tips 10 hours, 43 minutes ago
I just took Baylor going to the Elite 8. It’s a crazy mixed up world we live in.
Is it just me, or does it pain anyone else to not be able to determine who is going to beat Duke early? It’s bound to happen, but who will it be?
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Art Vandelay commented on the blog post Final Four Prediction 10 hours, 46 minutes ago
By “we” I meant the Horns. Kevin, why should I take Siena over A&M?
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Kevin Berger commented on the blog post Bracket Breakdown & Gambling Tips 11 hours ago
colorado ag, Utah State is as athletic as Nebraska. You’ll be fine as long as they don’t go 16 for 31 from three.
Siena, on the other hand, is going to beat you like you stole something. Maybe not, but the Saints should win.
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Kevin Berger commented on the blog post Bracket Breakdown & Gambling Tips 11 hours, 3 minutes ago
Great article Scipio. Also, thanks for the dime.
Looking at the Tournament futures market, Vegas is telling us what they think about Onuaku’s health. The Orangemen have the easiest region and road to the fianl four, yet they’re +700 to win it all, while UK and Kansas, teams with much tougher roads, are +250
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Art Vandelay commented on the blog post Final Four Prediction 11 hours, 8 minutes ago
My brackets are pretty much locked down except the South. Can’t get myself to take Baylor, and Duke doesn’t feel right. Nobody seems to be high on Nova. It’s all about the Big East and Big 12 this year.
It’s a crying shame we suck so bad. We are in a good
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James commented on the blog post Bracket Breakdown & Gambling Tips 11 hours, 19 minutes ago
Scip, like a peaceful Indian in the 1800’s, I never trust a Mormon that can shoot. Utah State has me worried.
If we escape the first weekend, things get very interesting with a potential Sweet 16 match-up with Duke. Ugly up the game and guard like hell on the perimeter in front of a
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Scipio Tex commented on the blog post Bracket Breakdown & Gambling Tips 11 hours, 49 minutes ago
CJD -
Possibly. However, I’m telling you – the beauty of these intergame lines is that when you see that all-too-familiar big early game lead that you know will evaporate down the stretch as soon as the team starts regressing to their 3 point shooting mean, there’s some money to be made.
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Scipio Tex commented on the blog post Bracket Breakdown & Gambling Tips 11 hours, 51 minutes ago
uthookem-
I’d say you have your priorities straight.
colorado -
Anytime. How far do you think the Aggies go? A lot of people think Utah State is the most dangerous pure shooting team in the tournament.
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uthookem commented on the blog post Bracket Breakdown & Gambling Tips 12 hours, 1 minute ago
Last year in Vegas, Friday morning, stumble to the line at 8:30 to make my bets, put $20 on a four-team parlay on the four 9:00 am games, nailed it! Three of the four games’ spread was determined in the final 0:30. Walked away with $220.
Yeah, so what if that is the only
Newy25 said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 11:27 am
“Switzer is THE classic example of a walking piece of shit that the Sooner fanbase has proceeded to glorify into demigod status, embarrassing the human race in the process.”
As I mentioned before in a luncheon in Little Rock (2006?) he joked about how he had to pay Billy Sims cash to return his senior year. He also told the heart warming story of helping a senior defensive player pay for an abortion for some girl he had hooked up with because it was causing an issue between the player and his long time girlfriend.
I mean, he is the biggest sack of shit ever to coach in college football. The fact that anyone for any reason has any respect for him as a coach is beyond my comprehension.
Blueshorn said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 2:03 pm
Quality effort. I anxiously await the arrival of the usual suspects to shamelessly enable this indefensible behavior.
srr50 said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 2:14 pm
Nice. Very. Nice.
I take issue with only one thing CTJ.
Wilkinson deserves mention beyond that for being so incompetent in other parts of his life that this icon of Oklahoma culture couldn’t even get elected after retirement by his own fanbase to Congress in DC
You underestimate the power of the OU fanbase.
His losing run for the Oklahoma Senate seat had everything to do with his final fews years of coaching at OU.
After beating Darrell his first year at UT, Wilkinson finished 0-6 against Texas.
It was an open secret that Wilkinson expected to retire and run for the Senate after the 1963 season. Remember that they entered the game #1 and Texas was #2. New Mexico Senator Clinton Anderson was a guest of several OU alumi at the game who assured him that OU was going to win the National Championship and that Bud would be the new senator from the State.
After watching OU get bitch-slapped 28-7, Sen. Anderson opined as he left the Cotton Bowl.
“That was the shortest term anyone ever spent in the U.S. Senate.”
HenryJames said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 3:39 pm
That was outstanding.
NorthDallasSooner said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 3:44 pm
Wilkinson ran as a Republican. Any Texan or Okie old enough to remember pre-1980, running as a Republican in either state between Re-construction and Ronald Reagan had no chance.
Remember, Bill Clements was the first Republican governor in Texas in over 100 years when we won.
I was on campus during the spring of ‘89 and I can assure you that the campus was not “terrorized.”
TxTower said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 4:20 pm
Good recounting of Sooner transgressions. And to think I’d forgotten some of them. Though I do seem to recall that Everage pulled up to a DEA sting house to purchase his cannibus.
Seems like violence, theft, drugs and gang rape were the only ways those poor Sooner players could find to pass the time in Norman.
Doperbo said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 5:28 pm
You have just chronicled the moral equivalent of plummeting through jungle canopy in a fiery rusted out Beechcraft hopped up on Scotch and Tecate. Well done sir. Well done.
William Wallace said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 5:44 pm
They have nothing on the English.
DrJHorn said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 6:06 pm
Nicely done. A Tintoretto of Sooner malfeasance.
For the 2nd team WR slot, I would like to nominate ex-Sooner and ex-Dallas Cowboy Lance Rentzel. Rentzel chronicled his football career, along with his tendency to expose himself to young girls, in his book “When All the Laughter Died in Sorrow”.
In the book, Rentzel summed up his four years at OU with “What had I really learned in those four years? Nothing.”
The Crimson
ponderos said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 6:39 pm
Research fail.
Google “Billy Sims” and “child support.”
When you’re done, google Darryl Hunt. Much better candidate for your list than including somebody for failing to pay parking tickets.
Fecal McBee said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 6:47 pm
And somewhere on this fine spring night, Cedric Benson is taking another drag on his bong and Edwin Simmons is trying to find his pants.
You morons really don’t want to go down this road, do you?
Blair S. said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 6:48 pm
Fecal McBee said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 6:51 pm
But before I go:
Any of you twits have Russell Erxleben’s digits?
I want to buy some stock.
Idiots.
Fecal McBee said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 6:58 pm
I could use DKR’s addy, also.
I want to make sure he gets a Kwanzaa invite.
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAH.
Dave said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 7:00 pm
Classic! I’m going to read this to my kids at bed time.
BoomerFreakinSooner said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 7:45 pm
August 2007 – ESPN College Football
Eight current or former Longhorn football players have been arrested since Texas claimed the national championship against Southern California in the 2006 Rose Bowl.
Freshman defensive tackle Dre Jones, a Parade All-American from El Paso, was suspended last week after he was charged with aggravated robbery with a deadly weapon in connection with an armed robbery at an Austin apartment.
Playmaking sophomore linebacker Sergio Kindle was charged the previous week with driving while intoxicated. Sophomore defensive end Henry Melton was charged with driving while intoxicated in June.
Jones’ arrest was the most shocking of the three; it came only 72 hours after Brown chided reporters for making too big of a deal out of the recent arrests in his program.
A fourth Texas player, former safety Robert Joseph, was charged in the same incident. Joseph had already left the Texas team after being arrested in a separate incident earlier in the summer.
You stupid self-centered Texicans never learned one lesson – people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. By the way, of that Sooner list, a good number of them were boys… FROM TEXAS! Not to mention your occassional clock tower resident, Ricky so hooked on doobies he throws away millions of dollars cause he cain’t quit ‘em, Vince depressed because he realized he WAS over-rated… blah blah blah. Maybe you can take your list and fly it around a stadium somewhere. That seemed to be REAL effective in the past.
Nicole-Barbe Ponsardin said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 8:06 pm
Weren’t all of those players immediately dismissed?
CloseToJumping said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 8:09 pm
What I find amusing, and knew it while putting this together, is the sooner response. It isn’t denial. They don’t even bother defending their behavior for allowing these guys back again and again. Their response is to point a few DUIs and such on us. The ol’”Yeah we do, but so does everybody else notion”. It’s how they’ve justified institutional cheating with their winning since the end of WWII.
BoomerFreakinSooner said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 8:21 pm
Last time I looked ya’ll are expecting Sergio Kindle to have a big year this season and Henry Melton played on the Longhorn team as a senior in 2008*. So Nikki – to answer your question, no, they weren’t immediately dismissed, however that is the folly of Texas football fan, they assume they were and any player with the same name on the team afterward is mere coincident. Nice to see CTJ equate DUIs with smoking dope, aggravated robbery with a weapon, etc. It’s fun to see the Texicans walking around with their Tony Llamas sticking out of their mouths.
ponderos said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 8:40 pm
CTJ. Do you have citations for Overstreet/Roberts?
Justin Chaisson said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 8:51 pm
Lets be reasonable…..I can only qualify for the Pre-Season All-American Garbage Team.
CloseToJumping said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 8:51 pm
ponderos–
I used the SI article from ‘89 plus follow-up SI scorecards on those guys. It wasn’t important enough for me to go and do actual criminal background checks on those two within the states of Florida and Oklahoma. I’d also recommend calling Rick Telander.
ponderos said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 8:56 pm
OK, thanks CTJ. I’d never heard about that and I was on the sports desk the night the Norman Transcript broke the CT story.
ftf said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 9:04 pm
Ben Wells says high
http://i445.photobucket.com/albums/qq173/nal3s/purple-drank.jpg
BEHorn said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 9:14 pm
Small wonder that Charlie Manson sits up in his cell all night humming “Boomer Sooner”.
Ecurbmanchild said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 9:15 pm
The “sooner nation” just woke up for being called out for their general “fuckupery”. Nicely done!
CloseToJumping said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 9:16 pm
I wonder how long the sooners will look before they give up on finding things comparable to multiple gang rapes, running drug rings, and buying players repeatedly, as a group of for instances?
Parlin Hall said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 10:11 pm
Thanks, CTJ.
Bosworth’s “National Communists Against Athletes” t-shirt brought back memories.
Looked at afresh from twenty years out, it practically begs to be seen for what it was: an Okie version of a web-page (notice the Matrix-like arrangement of text), with Bosworth just a hundred IQ points or so away from being a co-inventor of the Internet.
Of course, it would have been a different world: instead of surfing to another site, you’d just ask your neighbor to change his t-shirt.
I should be 1st team said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 10:58 pm
George “Buster” Rhymes (born January 27, 1962 in Miami, Florida) is a former professional American football wide receiver.
Rhymes grew up in Liberty City, an inner-city section of Miami. He graduated from Miami Northwestern High School. He was a High School All-American and received a scholarship to play college football at the University of Oklahoma under coach Barry Switzer in 1981.
Buster achieved All-American recognition at Oklahoma as a wide receiver, although he had his share of off-the-field incidents. According to teammate Brian Bosworth after a snowstorm, some players engaged in a snowball fight and Buster Rhymes was hit. He went back into his room, returned with an Uzi, and fired it into the air. A slightly different version of this story was also written by Barry Switzer. At 6 ft 2 in (1.88 m), 218 lb (99 kg), Rhymes was selected by the Minnesota Vikings in the fourth round of the 1985 NFL Draft. Rhymes played in two National Football League seasons for the Vikings in 1985–1986, and in 1985 set an NFL single-season record for kick return yardage with 1,345 yards (which has since been broken). Following his NFL stint, Rhymes went to Canada and played for the Winnipeg Blue Bombers of the Canadian Football League. His two seasons in Canada (1988–89) he won a Grey Cup championship ring in 1988.
In 2004, he was convicted of carjacking, and, in a separate incident, possession of crack cocaine.[1]
DrJHorn said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 11:08 pm
Oh, and the other second team WR could be Buster Rhymes. According to Bosworth, Rhymes was the one who fired the Uzi he grabbed from his room after being pelted with a snowball.
After a short time with the Minnesota Vikings, his career moved on to carjacking. And cocaine possession in the mix somewhere as well.
Not sure if this is technically allowable because I think Rhymes may have been primarily a RB in college and WR in the pros. Judges?
DrJHorn said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 11:11 pm
Oops. Great minds think alike, “I should be 1st team”.
Black Scholes said:
May 24th, 2009 at 12:47 am
Fecal McBee – joke’s on you, asshole. Erxleben’s scam was the lightly-regulated Forex market, not stocks. Suck it.
You insult DKR here at your peril. You’ve been warned.
If OU thought the institution of slavery was the quickest way to winning football, you’d revert to calling yourselves teh Indian Territory and have cracker sherrif’s deputies hollering ‘failure to communicate’ (wait – he’s already your OL coach), water hoses and German Shepards at every practice. You wouldn’t recognize the high road if it had neon signs saying “land rush this way”.
TaylorTRoom said:
May 24th, 2009 at 4:21 am
You guys still haven’t nailed down the wonder of Buster Rhymes. He played and starred as a freshman, and then stole a stereo from a teammate’s room! Caught, what did Switzer do? Have him arrested? Boot him from the team? Nope. He gave him a disciplinary redshirt, and kept him on the team for the rest of his eligibility.
Joe Don Looney said:
May 24th, 2009 at 5:29 am
What about me? I shot the fuck lion.
TXexpress said:
May 24th, 2009 at 5:30 am
A few things should be noted.
1) A special shout-out should go to Jim Tatum, the coach who taught Bud the tricks of the trade before bolting to Maryland. Jimmy, we hardly knew ye.
2) Very good call earlier re: Daryl Hunt. Less a criminal than a general, clotheslining douchebag.
3) Another WR candidate, just on general principle, could be Billy Brooks. As quoted in Robert Heard’s book (yeah, yeah … I know):
“Texas really didn’t offer me anything (illegal). They just talked in terms of certain advantages of going to Texas. Money? A car? Girls? A degree? I can’t pinpoint it. But at the time I was a poor black guy from the east side of Austin. I thought in terms of bucks.” Since both Texas and OU ran the Wishbone at the time, one can presume Brooks wasn’t talking about being at a more advantageous place to showcase his NFL potential.
4) A special assistant coach award truly needs to go to Jim Helms. A former Texas player who was serving as a UT freshman coach, Helms jumped ship to OU just before fall workout started and passed along, oh, a little inside knowledge that helped lead to OU’s 52-13 win in ‘73.
RansomStoddard said:
May 24th, 2009 at 6:02 am
The one constant with all these ou thugs is: 1. they get jobs in Oklahoma media, and 2. they keep on getting arrested. Bosworth got arrested several months ago for being drunk, driving and a general piece of shit and about a week later was the featured player for ou at some fan support function. Signed autographs, took pictures and generally represented his ‘university’ well. Blevens is widely-recognized as the stupidest douchebag from ou ever to appear on tv: an enormous accomplishment.
TaylorTRoom said:
May 24th, 2009 at 6:05 am
http://vault.sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vault/article/magazine/MAG1087283/index.htm
Another asst coach- Bill Michael, who altered transcripts for Kerry Jackson and Mike Phillips to get them eligible in ‘73.
Fecal McBee said:
May 24th, 2009 at 6:24 am
I’m looking fwd to coming to Arlington twice this year- once for the BYU game, and once for the Jonas Bros. show!
TxTower said:
May 24th, 2009 at 6:43 am
CTJ,
Looks like you could’ve included a third string but thanks for just sticking to the high.., er, lowlights.
And the road goes on forever..,
swngtrdr said:
May 24th, 2009 at 7:31 am
Why is Keenan Clayton on this list? Arrested is when they handcuff you and throw you into the back of a squadcar.Receiving a bench warrant in the mail telling you to come down and pay your traffic fine should not qualify you for this list.
Trips Right said:
May 24th, 2009 at 11:39 am
Tim said:
May 24th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
The one thing I do like about you BC bloggers is your total disdain for all things Sooner.
We can all agree on that.
MIA said:
May 24th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
I find it hilarious how the Sooner posters are merely proving the thread
swngtrdr said:
May 24th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
Thanks Trips Right. Your proving my point for me.
bevo said:
May 24th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
NorthDallasSooner: Actually, Oklahoma has long been a bastion of Republicanism. Unfortunately for Wilkinson, in 1964, Wilkinson ran for Senate in Oklahoma a fella by the name of Barry Goldwater ran for president on the Republican ticket.
The Democrats carried Oklahoma for the first time since 1948, and have not carried the state since.
DrJHorn said:
May 24th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
Somehow in this tsunami of Sooner felons, we have overlooked Stanley Wilson.
Missed playing in Super Bowl XXIII because he was found high on cocaine that morning. That was after missing the entire 1985 and 1987 seasons for cocaine use. He is now serving a 22 year sentence for burglary of a Beverly Hills home:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanley_Wilson_Sr.
Barry Switzer said:
May 24th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
You could have included a picture of me.
furrer4heisman said:
May 24th, 2009 at 10:51 pm
you left out the part where blevins missed half a season due to the clap.
Horns Down "Man of Principle" said:
May 25th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
“Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.”
flamingmonkeyass said:
May 25th, 2009 at 5:48 pm
“One only hates what one is jealous of” – I guess this explains why you spend so much time here then. I’m sorry that we’re so morally superior to your nefarious program both athletically, academically and socially that you have to spend all of your sweet free time away from your drug use writing ridiculously, unbelivably, and unnecessarily long responses tyring vainly to prove to yourself mostly, that you’re somhow on par with our program. I apologize that UT didn’t take into consideration your feelings or your pride. I suppose an argument could be made that this is strike against our morality. However, as you are the definition of evil, corruption, and ugliness; it might also be argued that causing injury to your fucktarded feelings is actually a justification for our moral superiority.
“Sooners have always gotten away with cheating, have gone unpunished, and have been rewarded big time for our moral transgressions.” – You must not be very familiar with the NCAA infractions history of your shitbag institution. Check with TaylorT for a full, in depth study on exactly how wrong you are in this regard. Further, beyond just the NCAA sanctions your university has incurred, is the national public perception of your school as being tremendously obtuse, greedy, slimy and morally bankrupt. As I’ve stated earlier perception is a form of reality, thus in reality your school is made of up douchebags, who’s sole purpose in life is to serve as society’s cumrags. Congrats.
Also I couldn’t help but notice you never responded to me, even though you threatened to on another post. As I said you must be bowing down, which is okay since I’m used to seeing sooners on their knees. Although usually they’re being paid for it.
Horns Down "Man of Principle" said:
May 25th, 2009 at 9:24 pm
“Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.”
“Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.”
AZLonghorn said:
May 26th, 2009 at 12:34 am
“a truly moral person would take the moral high road and would pity instead of hate such a misguided and fallen program”
Oh but we do pity you. What we hate is completely morally bankrupt idiots and buffoons such as yourself defending it. It’s not even so much the defending it, we’ve come to expect that, it’s just when you all try to respond at once there’s not enough time to pass the communal OU brain around so your disjointed, twisted logic starts to hurt our morally and intellectually superior minds. It’s not that we hate you at all, we just hate the pain of having to exist in the same universe and breath the same air as you fucking morons.
God Bless
flamingmonkeyass said:
May 26th, 2009 at 1:17 am
“As long as we continue to win and be bad ass and feared on the field” – So when does this start exactly? Hard to fear someone that you own. Kind of like how your tiresome, chuckleheaded responses not only don’t prove you’re intelligent, they actually confirm the opposite. It’s obvious to everyone who reads this blog who the jealous one is. Afterall I don’t see anyone naming themselves “soonersdown”.
And it’s okay. You don’t have to say you’re “tired” of that other thread. We get it. You’re too stupid to have an intelligent argument. It’s alright. I’m sure in oklahoma you can still have a meaningful life. Well, meangingful for an okie that is.
J.R.69 said:
May 26th, 2009 at 6:30 am
Condensed version of this thread:
BC: OU cheats like hell, also sucks rotted skunk ass.
OU Assholes: Oh, yeah? Well, you’ve got a big fucking nose, too!
Aggy said:
May 26th, 2009 at 7:03 am
There’s something very comforting about this.
WhoooTex said:
May 26th, 2009 at 8:30 am
#
Horns Down “Man of Principle”
WhoooTex said:
May 26th, 2009 at 8:31 am
Horns Down “Man of Principle”
No one reads your posts.
Ecurbmanchild said:
May 26th, 2009 at 10:25 am
WhoooTex, the “sooner nation” reads all of his shit!
Horns Down "The One and Only" said:
May 26th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
“Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.”
“Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.”
Flamingmonkeyass said:
May 26th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
“Genetically retarded, illiterate pagans”. I think you just gave us the perfect description of a sooner. Thanks for that.
Now horns down you’ve been coming on this board and yelling at us about how proud you are of your program’s success on the playing field. Now you’re saying that CFB is akin to slavery. So you’re proud that your school excels at slavery? Just trying to clarify. Of course that would make since coming from a resident of a state that tried to add the confederate flag to their Capitol building. Oh and since you’re such a typical unintelligent gooner let me break it to ya- you weren’t part of the confederacy.
Now why don’t you give a 1000 word response ducking me again?
TXinDC said:
May 26th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
FYI, the Sooner retort is up at Tilting at Windmills. My takeaway is that Longhorns drink a lot more.
Flamingmonkeyass said:
May 26th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
We have more win than ou. In fact we have more wins than anyone not named Michigan. We have an enormous advantage in the head to head series. We have beaten your vagina-esque goobers three out of the last four years. Unlike the assholes from Norman we actually win our BCS games. You’re going to say you have 3 more NC’s. True but all but one can be directly linked to cheating. As I’ve already discussed (although you’re far too slow to have understood it) lowering your moral standards to obtain a means warps that means true nature, this rendering it far less beautiful and consequently far less meaningful.
The numbers don’t lie and the numbers say we’re a better football program. But that’s okay because we have to be one of the top 3 or 4 programs all time. There’s no shame in being second to us.
I believe before I was being a little harsh when I suggested you were a college freshman. Based upon your comprehension skills I can see that was doing you a disservice by a vastly overestmating you. I apologize. Clearly you’ve never attnded an institute of higher learning. Perhaps there’s still tome for you yet. Let us hope.
Flamingmonkeyass said:
May 26th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
Time not tome. Sometimes I hate this phone.
CloseToJumping said:
May 26th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
The irony of those guys rebutting a post of mine on a site called “Tilting At Windmills” is rich indeed. I doubt they’ll ever get it, and that is ok.
As to this Horns Down guy, I haven’t read one bit of his posts on this thread, as I stopped reading his stuff on the previous Chaisson thread. He seems like a pure and accidental threadshitter. Not worth the time or effort, flaming.
ponderos said:
May 26th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
I think I do get it, CTJ.
I was kind, too.
MIA said:
May 26th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
Hornsdown? seriously Clark? I am sure you perform this genius of creativity at any game.
Flamingmonkeyass said:
May 26th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
It’s considerably different from the a&m in that our victories follow the historical trend, which is to say the history of the series is that we kick your ass on a very frequent basis. To ignore this is to ignore the facts. As you yet to address this I can only assume you’re too dimwitted to even try and uncover an explanation. No surprise there.
Notre Dame, Michigan, and Texas – some order there in. You might throw USC in there. As college football observers understand that OU only excels when they cheat. Thus, they don’t get much consideration from legitimate CFB fans. I believe I’ve tried to explain why but at this point it’s like trying to explain advanced mathematics to a termite.
We Longhorns offer our football players a chance to garnish an education from a superb university, spend four years rent paid in Austin, Texas, the opportunity to kick the shit out of your goobers. As opposed to making a guy spend four years in Norman, get a 2nd rate education, and have to get their asses handed to them win regularity in October. Only one if those seems like it should be illegal.
HenryJames said:
May 26th, 2009 at 4:51 pm
Yeah, this dude makes steven look coherent, but that’s hardly reason enough to tolerate his fucktardedness.
sooner3308 said:
May 26th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
you are a huge douche. this shit is laughable
AZLonghorn said:
May 26th, 2009 at 5:52 pm
Laughable to a drooling ass-clown from Norman. To the rest of the educated public it’s kind of sad. But good job on spelling douche and laughable correctly, we know how you guys have a hard time with words with multiple syllables or vowels.
sooner ramone said:
May 27th, 2009 at 3:10 pm
You live with your parents don`t you? Make some banners and show up at OU games again this year so the rest of the country can laugh at you. Good stuff junior.
Caligula said:
May 28th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
People give me a hard time for what happened when I was in charge?
Best part of the Jerry Parks shooting of Zarak Peters is that they were good friends and high school teammates at FB Willowridge who go into an argument over a cassette tape. Must have been one helluva a mix tape.
iwillgraduate said:
October 29th, 2009 at 5:52 pm
As an OU student who HATES OU football, there are some things that need to be said.
1. Ryan Broyles shouldn’t be playing football. In fact, he shouldn’t be going to school anywhere but a junior college somewhere. He could work at McDonald’s (IF he’s lucky enough to get hired anywhere) and prepare for life as a convicted felon. The fact is, Broyles is a PIG who revels in the fathead STOOPS at my school. If he were, say, a fourth-team WR, his tail would be in Pauls Valley with a notice saying “STAY OFF OUR CAMPUS.” If you’re reading this, Broyles, I hope you never play football again. You shouldn’t be on an already-corrupted team. If I’m in the shoes of the guy from whose station you STOLE gasoline, I’m scared crapless of you playing on the field.
2. Justiin Chaisson is a SCHMUCK who shouldn’t be in University College at OU. (Look it up at http://www.ou.edu under “People Search,” and you’ll find it.) If I were that young lady’s stepdad, I would hope he wouldn’t EVER come near ANYONE outside of class. Chaisson should be in prison.
3. Dusty Dvoracek is a sorry craphead who was even lucky IN THE FIRST PLACE to a) get another chance from Coach Stoopid, and b) even get drafted by the Chicago Bears. Heck, Fridge got traded to Philadelphia in ‘93, but they don’t need a beater.
4. How does ANYONE give Jarboe a chance? Let me tell you something, Sooner fans. I feel sorry for ANYONE who was unfairly cut from Stoops’ band of criminals in favor of Jarbonehead, one that did everything right. How does a good kid from, say, Elk City or Ponca City not get recruited because they want a gangster?
Stoops is a crime-enabler, and for him to say that (4) is recruitable because of racial profiling by police in Georgia is terrible. Dusty SHOULD be serving AT LEAST ten years in prison because of what he did. Broyles is a for-sure felon without question. So is Chaisson. Justin Chaisson WILL NEVER be able to transfer if he is convicted. (How the heck does he get a plea deal? And how does he get to come to fhe flagship school of Oklahoma?) The fact that he had to face a judge on FELONY charges will weigh heavily in the minds of admissions officers.
5. Billy Sims is a stupid, stupid, stupid, sick deadbeat who doesn’t even know how to SPELL “child support.” He starts off well with the “c” and the “h” but then gets caught up in “BOOMER!” It would take him twenty minutes to spell “child support,” and then he would mess up. Sooner fans and fellow students who even care to go to the games, ask yourself this: Are you proud of your team heritage? Sims, Chaisson, Broyles, Dvoracek, and Jarboe, not to mention more idiots (see below)? I hope Bradford and White feel bad letting a scumbag like Sims at BRADFORD’S and WHITE’S Heisman coronation. If you’re not embarrassed, then you’ve been drinking or drugging OR BOTH.
6. Barry Switzer is a stupidhead. The sorriest coach to win a Super Bowl. The worst coach to “win” (read: cheat for) three national titles. Sooner fans, QUIT DRINKING THE KOOL-AID OF NATIONAL “PRIDE” and look at the criminal–CRIMINAL–with which Switzer was involved
in trouble.
The 1983 insider trading case. Do you want a coach signing autographs near youthful students knowing he did that? The 1984 DWI case. Coach DWI Switzer. Do you really like the guy?
7. Stoops is also a crime-monger, but unlike Switzer, he doesn’t commit crimes. He lets his players do the criminal activity. (So we have heard.)
I am an OU student, but my school’s “football team” is no endearing quality of an otherwise promise-filled state. (Band of criminals is a better term.) I’ve heard the ever-so-stupid delusion that “what happens off the field has no bearing on the team’s performance. You gotta support our team!” I don’t “gotta” cheer for slugs. No, I won’t condone the twenty-something (in number, not in age) arrests under Urban Meyer at U. of Florida. I won’t condone anything that has happened at any other school. But you need to remember something.
Schools like U. of Miami, Florida State U., and the U. of Southern California are sometimes known for their criminal activity among players. Schools like Auburn U. (in particular, the Eric Ramsey scandal), SMU (the only team to be placed on the “death penalty), and U. of Houston (particularly the 1988-89 scandal) are known for their cheating. OU, the fact that this football program is known for BOTH is a reputation in which we couldn’t POSSIBLY have pride in.
I ask anyone who cares to engage in calling for the SUSPENSION of the OU football program for a minimum of two years and a maximum of seven. Thank you.
iwillgraduate said:
November 1st, 2009 at 6:58 pm
Correction in my last post: The last paragraph should have read as follows.
I ask anyone who cares about ethics in sports and out of sports to call for the SUSPENSION of the OU football program for a minimum of two years and a maximum of seven. Thank you.