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Posted by Scipio Tex on May 21st, 2009 under Baseball, Basketball, Football
Banality strikes back.
Gary Cartwright lanced the boil of modern sports journalism a few days ago and given Cartwright’s unapologetic criticism, I was not surprised to see some of his former peers take offense.
Richard Justice offers a retort written in powerfully annoying folksy prose, suggesting that Cartwright’s generation were unethical, easily manipulated, semi-racist, lazy journalists – who wilted under the avuncular guiding hand of a strong editor.
Let’s see what Justice, cloaked as a cross between Uncle Remus and Atticus Finch, has to say:
Well it sure is true sportswriters today don’t have as much fun as you old guys had. What can be more fun than getting liquored up, missing a game, and then writing a story that led readers to believe you were there? Now that’s real fun. Real journalism, too. How many times did you pull that one off, Gary? How many of your peers did that? Share that with us, Gary.
To answer your question, yes, that does sound like fun.
Know this, people: Richard Justice will be in the press box two hours before the game! And he will drink V-8, thank you! And his lead will always start with a correct approximation of the weather and an accurate real-time depiction of the level of frolic at the event itself! He shows up! On time!
I’ll tell you what else is fun. Making up quotes and attributing them to football coaches. For instance, Darrell Royal. Know anyone that did that, Gary? Give us the inside on that one, you funny old sumbuck. Tell me again how my generation couldn’t carry your water bucket. That’s a knee-slapper. Dad-gone-it, I wish we’d had that kind of fun.
Oh, no. Justice is going to write this in his folksy common man voice. Sumbuck. Dad-gone-it. Kirk Bohls does this periodically under the guise of humor. John Kelso writes all of his tedious I’m-A-Country-Talentless-Fuckwit-With-A-Friend-Named-Skeeter columns in this same voice.
Justice has an excellent point though: today’s generation of journalists are known for their stringent ethics and high-minded professionalism. His is a profession that’s deeply respected – sharing a societal trust factor that rivals the professions of tow truck driver and Scientology recruiter, edged only slightly by nimble-fingered Gypsy children.
Fun? Those boys had fun. Like allowing friendship and journalism to get all blurry. Good thing them old coaches never stopped buying you guys off with food and drink. That didn’t influence what you wrote, did it, Gary? Say it ain’t so, Gary
Richard, I’ve noticed you like calling him Gary, don’t you, Richard? Richard, admit it. You really do, Richard. Richard, is is because that it personalizes your piece and makes your sleekly wielded rhetorical knitting needles sink in that much easier? Answer me, Richard. Richard. Richard! Richard?
Fun? No one had more fun than you fellers. How about covering the Dallas Cowboys while accepting tickets, paid vacations, and assorted other gifts from the team? Now durnit, that was fun. Only thing is, if a player—let’s say a black player—got in a contract dispute with the Cowboys, that feller never had a chance in the media, did he, Gary? I’ll bet you’ve got some dang funny stories about how your generation never talked to an agent or got the other side of a story. Beneath you, right, Gary?
Well, accepting paid vacations is a no-no. You want the cash value.
Additionally, these old guys were racist tools of the oligarchy. But that’s a sidenote. No need to flesh out that small accusation.
There’s no end to the fun you goobers had. How about taking quotes from a 20-year-old column and passing them off as new and original work? Did you do that, Gary? One of the people you praised in your article sure did. Ain’t heard much from the old boy since a real editor decided to hold him accountable for doing something that would get a reporter in any other department fired.
Harvesting old quotes is naughty. Tsk tsk. So where do you stand on Kirk Bohls writing the same column for twenty years and passing it off as original work?
And watch out always admire for those backstabbing, second-guessing ruggedly handsome editors! They’re complete cocksuckers consistently virile, strong and honest!
Isn’t it amazing, Gary, that you guys lasted so long doing things that would never have been allowed on the city hall beat, or at the state department?
What’s amazing is that you can’t make the distinction between your job – the writing of sports entertainment, which possesses the journalistic rigor of writing the advice column in Tiger Beat magazine – and the important watchdog function of a city hall beat informing the body politic or a state department desk trying to making sense and inform about a nuanced, multi-layered, and dynamic world with competing narratives of truth.
You write male Cosmo, Ted Koppel. Get over yourself. One should make some attempt to be truthful and fair, but spare me your self-delusion that we’re dispatching Woodward and Bernstein to the Big 12 Women’s Softball Tournament.
I’ll tell you something else that’s fun. That’s making up a story and passing it off as fact. Ever do that, Gary? Come on, Gary, be honest.
I don’t know, Richard. What I do know is that repetitive, badgering insinuations are boring, and, though at first titillating, contrive to make you come off as a mewling pussy. It also reinforces Cartwright’s contention that you can’t write or persuade. If you have some interesting dirt, tell us about it. Though that might require actual writing skills, creativity, and story-telling capabilities; a capacity of which I find you currently innocent.
Truth is, Gary, your generation did do something better than us. You wrote better. You were more literate. You used humor instead of anger to make your point. You weren’t journalists as much as you were keepers of the flame. You created an image of famous folks and you worked like hell to protect those images. I know this because one of your peers said it exactly that way.
A’ight.
It was a sad day for you guys when real editors came along and made us attempt to stick to the facts, to cover the finances of the game, the fairness issues, to take people inside the boardrooms and locker rooms. We’ve gotten it wrong a lot, but we do try to be at the games we cover and to go down and ask what happened instead of turning a clever phrase.
So basically one can’t write well and interestingly if they have to adhere to facts and fairness. That’s the presumption of a true simpleton and a false dichotomy.
And no one offers a more sophisticated view of financial structures and the business of sports than a sports writer with a journalism degree.
We could argue all day which is better. Should Roger Clemens have had his personal life aired? You and I probably agree on that one, Gary.
Oh, joy. Common ground. A list of Roger’s sluts on Excel spreadsheet, filtered by city and venereal disease.
Kirk Bohls? You got him wrong, Gary. I’ve known that guy almost forty years, and he works harder and cares more about his work than anyone I’ve ever known. OK, OK, he ain’t perfect. He will criticize a coach instead of protecting him. He tries to get both sides of every story. In fact, he probably tries too hard.
Cartwright tore into Bohls because Kirk can’t write and he has the creativity of lemur. Justice defends him by telling us that he works really hard. In fact, he TRIES TOO HARD! He’s advancing the Marxist argument that the amount of work put into something gives it its worth, irrespective of its value to others. Sorry Trotsky. The world doesn’t work that way.
He has been doing this stuff a long, long time, and he has become famous among his peers for being a bulldog of a reporter and a tenacious interviewer. I’m sure he gets it wrong sometimes, but unlike your generation, he never got it wrong on purpose, never made up funny quotes and attributed them to someone. I’ll talk to him about being more protective of Mack and Augie, of keeping the flame and creating heroes.
We’re in agreement. Kirk Bohls could never make up a funny quote.
kevwun said:
May 21st, 2009 at 11:07 am
Richard Justice has outlook reminders that keep him from forgetting to do a complete 180 and start arguing on the other side of whatever story is going on at the time.
Parlin Hall said:
May 21st, 2009 at 11:17 am
Justice left out the part about Pilates making one’s syntax tighter.
Scipio Tex said:
May 21st, 2009 at 11:24 am
I find the Atticus Finch-Uncle Remus hybrid rhetorical question barrage spoken to the beat of Marc Antony’s Caesar eulogy tremendously effective.
Basically, Cartwright calls out Justice and his ilk for being unable to write and Justice’s response proves him correct.
BatesHorn said:
May 21st, 2009 at 11:53 am
Unfortunately, this just further feeds my belief that modern higher education, combined with culture, could manage to make even Nabokov a hack.
Goddamnnit, why must I be surrounded by incompentent writers? While the footsy that the old school writers played with coaches and institutions was considerable, at least they could wordsmith.
El General said:
May 21st, 2009 at 11:58 am
your sleekly wielded rhetorical knitting needles sink in that much easier?
That is really good.
Thayer Evans said:
May 21st, 2009 at 12:02 pm
We modern writers never play footsy with coaches and institutions.
Scipio Tex said:
May 21st, 2009 at 12:05 pm
Peter King agrees.
Jamarkus McFarland said:
May 21st, 2009 at 12:06 pm
“It was a sad day for you guys when real editors came along and made us attempt to stick to the facts, to cover the finances of the game, the fairness issues, to take people inside the boardrooms and locker rooms.”
Aw come on, where’s the fun in that? Justice is ironically missing the point that it’s all about the drama, not the facts.
EyesOfTX said:
May 21st, 2009 at 12:09 pm
Ok, so, not showing up to a game but then writing a column in which you pretend that you were there is wrong??? Holy shit.
HenryJames said:
May 21st, 2009 at 12:09 pm
I thought this was going to be about Metallica.
EyesOfTX said:
May 21st, 2009 at 12:13 pm
P.S.: Richard Justice is a boring, sophomoric, untalented writer who is emblematic of everything that is wrong with the newspaper business today.
Gary Carwright, on the other hand, is a tiresome old relic who writes for a magazine that is quickly becoming emblematic of everything that is wrong with the magazine business today.
They can both kiss my burnt orange ass.
El General said:
May 21st, 2009 at 12:20 pm
It is important to note that guys like Bud Shrake and Dan Jenkins were great writers outside of the sports journalism genre. Not having grown up in their era as sports journalists, I would have put them as contemporaries of Larry McMurtry and Grover Lewis more than Blackie Sherrod and Gary Cartwright.
Considering what passes as sportswriting in Texas newspapers today, that is unbelievable.
Aggie Lurking said:
May 21st, 2009 at 12:32 pm
The fact that Justice works in Houston for the Comical speaks volumes to the depths which journalism has sunk. Houston papers used to have Mickey Herskowitz and Jack Gallager (who once got into a fist fight with Oiler owner Bud Adams at a presser).
I’ll take those boozin’ brawlin’ types over pansies like Justice (who BTW is a UT grad).
Dave Mustaine said:
May 21st, 2009 at 12:36 pm
Metallica sucks, and so does Richard Justice.
Parlin Hall said:
May 21st, 2009 at 12:39 pm
Scipio, your writing is more than fine, as always.
Though my French students have struggled with the allusions from time to time.
Shirley Povich said:
May 21st, 2009 at 12:44 pm
I just rolled over in my grave.
srr50 said:
May 21st, 2009 at 1:10 pm
Watching your son’s TV show must make that a daily recurrence
The General said:
May 21st, 2009 at 1:13 pm
I guess that would make miss Povich a spinner?
Doperbo said:
May 21st, 2009 at 1:23 pm
Dammit henryjames made me laugh. I hate that.
Excellent piece scipio. I now want a press badge with Ted Koppel, Male Cosmo in the worst way.
Scipio Tex said:
May 21st, 2009 at 1:30 pm
You’ll find one in the Marcus Welby lunchbox I gave you last Kwanzaa.
CloseToJumping said:
May 21st, 2009 at 2:46 pm
Justice coming to the rescue is a pyrrhic victory for Bohls and this era of writers.
Living in Houston, I read this guy on occasion and listen to him on the radio on occasion as well. As a sports fan, it just winds up happening. His basic behavior is encapsulated well in the original post plus a few of the responses. You can go through and look at any given period’s blogs from the guy and realize that he’s a complete hack.
I find the notion that they don’t buddy up with the teams because of integrity to be disingenuous at best, a flat out lie at worst. He’s been on McLane a lot lately, but he’s been his staunchest defender at a number of turns and happily implies that they’re buddies offline. The same is true for Clemens, among others. Anyone who has been unfortunate enough to live in Houston and follow sports has, for years, been witness to this.
I once took him to task on his blog about 5-6 years ago when he was claiming that the Pujols bomb off of Lidge would not have a prolonged effect on Lidge in Houston. I stayed on him about it every time he threw his nonsense out there.
Then the season started and Lidge sucked out loud. It was obvious to anyone that understands closers, kickers, or corners that the guy’s confidence was shot and he needed a change of scenery. Justice started going nuts on Lidge and McLane not allowing him to be dealt in the offseason. This was the exact stuff he had spent the winter defending. I went ahead and reposted some of his earlier takes and linked over to the blog archives. He ended up editing my posts with his own words, that amateurish shit where he started typing about how smart he was through my post as though I wrote it, and he deleted the links. He sent me an email and mentioned the fact that he always gets the last word. Ok. Maybe not.
Justice represents the lowest common denominator of UT grad and we have the unhappy reality of enduring him and Bohls as public sports figures, in all of their inane glory. The demise of the traditional newspaper and the cut in their pay with it is a simple pleasure, but one I enjoy. They’re finally being valued at a level commensurate with their performance.
Mind Teaser said:
May 21st, 2009 at 3:31 pm
Scipio reminds me of Oscar Madison and doperbo reminds me of Felix Unger.
CrazyJoeDavola66 said:
May 21st, 2009 at 4:21 pm
Hey, at least RJ didn’t break out the made-up-conversation-between-two-guys routine (hack journo template #14).
He’s a weird guy. CTJ has one of the better anecdotes about how RJ seems to operate – he uses blunt, brutal force on something until it opinions start to change, and then he completely veers around and goes the other way.
He had a bizarre thing with Vince Young back when Vince had his number retired. He’s long seemed to bend over backwards to prove to everyone how much of a UT homer he is not, then the ceremony comes around and he writes a column so dripping with clumsy obsequy that you figured it had to be a joke.
Or he’ll pick a guy to hate (or love), only to totally reverse field at a moment’s notice. Right now, he seems to have a burr up his saddle about Rick Smith, the Texans GM. This means that by the time the season rolls around, he’ll be nominating him for the Supreme Court.
His blog is even more bizarre, because it’s unmediated by those editor thingies he and his contemporaries so often trot out as proof that they’re miles above mere writers/analysts.
Weird guy. He seems like he’s either on too much medication, or not nearly enough.
NorthDallasSooner said:
May 21st, 2009 at 6:39 pm
Bitter, party of one, your table is ready!
We all run across lots of people who take themselves too seriously, but God-All-F’ing-Mighty, I think Mr. Justice (whom I’ve never read, obviously) needs a valium.
Scipio–
You write male Cosmo, Ted Koppel. Get over yourself. One should make some attempt to be truthful and fair, but spare me your self-delusion that we’re dispatching Woodward and Bernstein to the Big 12 Women’s Softball Tournament. “
EXACTLY. Your guys and my guys take our sports VERY seriously, especially on 100 yard fields in Norman, Austin and Sunny South Dallas, but it isn’t quite the same thing as covering the Pentagon or Ahmedinejad(sp?)?
Sports is a diversion. Cartwright, Jenkins, Sherrod, and, yes, Justice’s “GARY” understood and understand that. I think Mr. Justice should apply at the city desk if he thinks the collective integrity of his more serious peers is in question.
OldtimeHorn said:
May 21st, 2009 at 8:34 pm
It’s DOG-gone-it, dad-BURN-it or dad-GUM-it, not dad-gone-it. And shumbuck is much stronger than sumbuck.
In the 70s, I moved from Austin to the SF Bay Area, where the Glenn Dickey school of sports writing was the rage–spout insolent gibberish without getting off your fat ass. Then point your editor to the huge volume of letters to the editor you generate. Turned me off to reading sports.
This guy Richard would not lure me back. Last thing I want is sports made socially relevant by a self-important sweaterneck.
dick said:
May 21st, 2009 at 9:36 pm
I live in Houston and you guys have Justice’s schtick down pat. The 180 nonsense is terrible and has only gotten worse with his blog.
bclarke said:
May 22nd, 2009 at 5:25 am
I don’t understand why you have to always attack Tiger Beat.
HenryJames said:
May 22nd, 2009 at 6:01 am
Because they refuse to write any more stories on Corey Haim.
the Bobs said:
May 22nd, 2009 at 6:15 am
you know what I think really, really bugs him?
That if someone provided a link to a 40 year old newspaper story by Bud Shrake or Dan Jenkins or Sherrod, a lot of us would click on the link and enjoy reading it. And he knows that in 40 years, nobody, probably including his kids, would click on a link to read anything he’s ever written…
jonestopten said:
May 22nd, 2009 at 6:49 am
I’m with Eyes on this. Cartwright’s editorial comes with equal doses self-aggrandizement and condescension (hard to imagine Jenkins feeling it necessary to put the same frustrations down on paper), tiresome old relic, indeed.
Justice’s infantile rant is just sad, proving in the process that Cartwright was picking on a defenseless victim. I think “bless his heart” is the only proper response.
I’ve enjoyed Scipio’s commentaries far more than I enjoyed either original piece.
Hunter S. Thompson said:
May 22nd, 2009 at 7:13 am
So…what you’re saying is that there is something wrong with being so whacked on drugs and alcohol that you can’t attend an event that you are paid to cover is a problem?
I take objection to that sir.
Pitchin Paul said:
May 22nd, 2009 at 7:34 am
I’ll take political correctness, trendiness and self promotion over actual sports writing by guys like Dan Jenkins any day of the week. Wait a minute I have that backwards! Justice is a sel important tool
huge said:
May 22nd, 2009 at 7:36 am
cartwirght’s rhetoric on this issue is almost as annoying to me as justices
and he is much better on the radio. seems like he doesnt have to try as hard
bighornfan32 said:
May 22nd, 2009 at 8:53 am
One thing that bugs me about the old-timers is the total arrogance that theirs was a golden age of sports writing, one that couldn’t possibly be replicated in any form nowadays. Yeah, they were good, and most all of what is published in newspapers presently is tripe, but they’re being naive or insolent if they think there aren’t people out there (”like such as” on this blog)writing creative, funny musings that rival theirs.
mayoroflidsville said:
May 22nd, 2009 at 10:24 am
Both, Gary Cartwright and Richard Justice are right. I could care less about either one of them to pick a side, but you are one deluded mofo if you do not recognize that they are both right.
Spider said:
May 22nd, 2009 at 10:54 am
I think I’ll dispense with both those idiots and continue getting my sports news from blogs and other internet sources, like I have for thirteen years now. Newspaper writers, for the most part, write as though the last thirty years of the English language never happened. They also seem to think they live on Mount Olympus, especially when criticized.
There’s nothing wrong with sports journalism that isn’t wrong with journalism in general. To hell with them all.
But there is one thing:
If you have some interesting dirt, tell us about it. Though that might require actual writing skills, creativity, and story-telling capabilities
… or it might involve running afoul of the same Old Boys network he’s lambasting. Seems like the folksy critic is towing a line while shouting across it.
Scipio Tex said:
May 22nd, 2009 at 12:53 pm
Well said, Spider. That’s exactly what he’s doing.
coolhorn said:
May 22nd, 2009 at 8:36 pm
Richard Who? Not much justice in anything he has to say, and not much truth, either. Richard Justice taking Gary Cartwright to task is akin to carrying a knife into a gunfight. Cartwright has forgotten more interesting and unique ideas than Justice, Kirk Bohls, and the like have ever had, even if Cartwright’s only forgotten one idea.
Oh, that bit about last generation’s writers not showing up for the games and calling in the stories…it doesn’t wash. I spent three decades in journalism, some of the time in sports, and I seem to recall quite a few of the real sportswriters and broadcasters making it to the game. Even if they hadn’t made it there, their stories were infinitely more interesting than anything being written today.
Justice and his buddies of today aren’t particularly bad sportswriters…they’re proficient, in much the same way an air conditioning repairman is proficient. They’re just not particularly inspired, and that’s what separates them from the writers of a generation ago.
Gary Cartwright nailed it, and no amount of baseless allegations from today’s sportswriters changes that. Enjoy Houston, Justice…it’s about as big time as you’ll get.
phishpac said:
May 22nd, 2009 at 10:39 pm
I live in Houston and Justice is a complete joke amongst my friends. He jumped ship when 1560am went on the air in Houston, leaving behind a massive listening audience at 610am. They gave him his own two hour show, which was painfully unlistenable. It wasn’t too long before they canceled it due to poor ratings. Nobody wants to hear this guy bag on the Astros farm system for 10 hours a week. Please talk about something of substance. Could you do that Richie?
coolhorn said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 7:37 am
The sad thing is Justice and Bohls probably are in the upper half of sportswriters in these climes these days. That’s sorta like being the prettiest girl in an ugly girl contest.
jimmyjazz said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 8:08 am
“So basically one can’t write well and interestingly if they have to adhere to facts and fairness. That’s the presumption of a true simpleton and a false dichotomy.”
Exactly. Who is the guy on the Statesman’s sports staff who actually writes well, Kevin Rollins? He mostly does features that actually require research, so Justice probably thinks he’s a puss, but I enjoy his stuff. Mark Rosner doesn’t suck, either, although his obsession with players “taking rebounds” makes my skin crawl.
Beaten Dead Horse said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 10:31 am
How Bohls has kept his job all these years just baffles the shit out me. His attempts at humor make my fucking teeth bleed. UT sports deserves much, much better.
Phil Morris, Dallas said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 11:04 am
I am convinced Barking Carnival purposely wants to infuriate people so people will come back and continue to read their Pro-Longhorn/UT propaganda. That is the underlying message here. They’re unprincipled. Playing the part of Devil’s Advocate, they act like a bunch of Hollywood E-Listers-they don’t care how the message gets out! They really don’t. They’re hippocrits and they change whichever way the wind blows. Chooky is violent, Henry James is in his own world, Doperbo is from another planet altogether, and that Scipio is a downright whore! Don’t “politic” me, parasites, report the goddamn game as it ACTUALLY occured! This is utter bullshit. You make TMZ appear credible. I don’t even know why I read this shit. That’s what it is-all biased garbage. I’m 61 years old and in all my years of reading sports journalism you guys take the cake as the worst, unprofessional bunch of bozos. I don’t even know why I bother reading this rag, anymore, your gonna give me a heart attack. Stop bustin’ balls!
Double life Barker said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 12:04 pm
Barking Carnival Barkers as “E-Listers”..hmm..interesting. So that means we can stroll down that tacky Liberace-inspired trashy red carpet? I’d wipe the shit off my shoe on it. We’d be the only ones there with real hair. Sorry you feel that way. Not everyone has the exact same point of view. You can’t force us to write any differently, either. Its like trying to force you to like us. You can’t force me to like someone, either. Its not happening. We’re not in it for a popularity contest. Have a nice day.
Doperbo said:
May 23rd, 2009 at 4:55 pm
Just to be fair, that was pretty far off the mark Phil. Chooky is a whore, and Henry James is violent.
Pretty glaring error on your part there.
phishpac said:
May 24th, 2009 at 9:38 am
I believe you’ve been Phil Morris’d
Beaten Dead Horse said:
May 26th, 2009 at 6:41 pm
Phil, Phil, Phil……11 a.m. is at MINIMUM an hour too early to even start drinking much less already be old man internet drunk.
Will said:
May 27th, 2009 at 12:54 am
I would hope that by age 61 Phil there would have learned to spell hypocrite without two p’s.
Also, calling a bunch of internet bloggers “unprofessional bozos” is the perfect definition of irony.
kazooman said:
July 30th, 2009 at 6:21 pm
Can you tell me how to become a professional bozo? Is there a school? What are the requirements? I’ve been an unprofessional bozo for a long time, and would really like to better myself.
And if you make the professional level, does that qualify you to write for papers like the Statesman and the Chronicle?
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