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Rockets/Lakers Game 7 Frightens Me

Posted by Trips Right on May 17th, 2009 under Uncategorized

Seriously, I’m almost too afraid to watch. I’m fearful of what I may see on the tube. I’m fearful of the way I’ll probably act when I see it. Will I throw the remote? Will I make the kids run stairs? Kick the dog? I don’t have a dog. Kick the neighbor’s dog? I hate that dog.

Look, like most, I’m comfortable with the possibility, nay, probability that the Rockets will get run out of the gym this afternoon while jagoffs like Nicholson and Tarantino cluelessly look on. Hell the Rockets are 13 point dogs in this game. Vegas knows best. Well usually, unless others know better.

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Clutch ref.

But I’ve already had a pretty good weekend as it is so this little NBA game shouldn’t really sting that much. I shot a 39 on the back at Kingwood Cove yesterday. Had a glass of Crown Cask after dinner last night. Pitched batting practice to my six year old this morning without throwing my arm out or taking a comebacker in the fellas. I’ve got 6 ribeyes marinating and a six of Shiner Bock iced down as we speak. Rockets lose, and I should be able to shrug it off and say oh well. Nice run. Then get back to the business of lamenting the fact that the Astros are morons for not going to a 3 man rotation. I mean, should a reasonable person expect more from this Rocket team? Or any team missing its two best players? Probably not.

But instead of letting me wallow in the inevitibility of a convincing Laker win, the NBA, in its infinite wisdom, can’t let sleeping dogs lie. Nope. They have to tweak the nose of Rocket fan by bringing in the David Stern’s bag man, Joey Crawford. Call it an insurance policy for the League. I call it shenanigans. Shenanigans I tell you. Consider these little tidbits from clutchfans.net.

In the last two years the Lakers are 21-11 in playoff games. They’re 14-10 in Crawford-less games, and 7-1 with Crawford as one of the three whisitles. F’n 7-1. The lone loss was a Celtics 131-92 mud-holing. It’s tough to fix 40 point blowouts even with three Joey Crawfords in the building.

The Rockets on the other hand are 7-3 this post season in games without Crawford, and 0-2 when Crawford “officiates”. It’s “officiating” in the sense that Piss Christ was art.

Everyone knows the tired story here with respect to David Stern’s patterns. So let’s pull a “crazy Ivan” and recap a little Crawford history. Houston does the inthinkable by taking game 1 in LA, enter Crawford in Game 2. Houston slays the giant in game 6, here comes Crawford for the elimination game.

You can set your watch by this crap. Last year in the Utah series, Joey goes to Utah for Game 6 with Lakers up 3-2 and sure enough no game 7 needed. In the next series vs. SA, Lakers lead 2-1 with Game 4 in SA. The league sends Joey Crawford to San Antonio. Given the history between Crawford and Tim Duncan, it’s stunningly inappropriate for the League to allow Crawford anywhere near this series. Of course, LA goes up 3-1 with 93-91 road win effectively ending the series. To make matters worse, the NBA apologizes for Crawford’s no call on Brent Barry to end game. Sorry San Antonio, you’re S.O.L. Next series vs Boston with the Lakers down 0-2, Crawford officiates, Lakers win. David Stern is Vince McMahon without steroids and Jesus.

So, I’m afraid for the Rockets. I’m afraid for my mental health and inanimate objects within arm’s reach. Animate objects have the luxury of running away from me as I curse the Samsung showing Kobe Bryant taking his 11th and 12th free throw in one half of basketball. If you’re a Rocket fan or just a fan of truth, justice, and the American way, you should be afraid as well. Joey’s coming. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

It makes me long for the days when the NBA was actually a sport and white guys could rap.

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24 Responses

  1. Steve Nebraska said:

    May 17th, 2009 at 10:39 am

    Thank you for not including a “basketball” tag for this article.

  2. Kurt said:

    May 17th, 2009 at 11:31 am

    F’d in the A. I laffed.

  3. andy said:

    May 17th, 2009 at 11:56 am

    As a Dallas native and Maverick fan I feel the responsibility to point out that in his past Joey Crawford actually did T up the mavs approximiately 5x in the first quarter of a conference finals matchup vs. the spurs kicking out both nelson and van exel or something like that (the details escape me.)

    Basically what I am saying is he has also helped out the spurs in the past as well and I would gladly give up Dirk for part of a regular season game for yucking it up on the sidelines rather than having a playoff game snatched from my hands.

    But yeah, the refs are bad and Houston is going to have to play out of their minds to keep this game competitive.

  4. Trips Right said:

    May 17th, 2009 at 12:37 pm

    Yikes. I’m not sure the Rockets could stay within 20 of the Lakers if they were able to call their own fouls. Truly a miserable offensive basketball team.

  5. BEHorn said:

    May 17th, 2009 at 12:41 pm

    The Rockets are, at least as of halftime, reverting to their mean. A nice run for the Playing-Over-Their-Heads Gang, but it looks like funtime’s over.

  6. BEHorn said:

    May 17th, 2009 at 1:10 pm

    But it’s all Joey Crawford’s fault … so there.

  7. TTomTerrific said:

    May 17th, 2009 at 2:18 pm

    Rockets showed up and made it a series.

    They are not as good as the Lakers and it is not the ref’s fault.

  8. BEHorn said:

    May 17th, 2009 at 3:01 pm

    TTom – agreed. (Lakers fan here, so I am open to both warranted criticism and the customary excoriations.) Rockets have a lot of good pieces (such as Shane Battier, the ultimate glue guy — Justin Mason to the 9th power) but no one “star”, an engine to make the machine go consistently. That was supposed to be McGrady, I suppose, but he’s not really that guy. You don’t win on the big stage in the NBA without Tim Duncan, Paul Pierce, etc.

    We’ll see if Carmelo can be that guy on the big stage, though I’m actually more worried about Billups for the Lakers (not as quick as the Rockets guards, but still plenty quick and veteran enough).

  9. TTomTerrific said:

    May 17th, 2009 at 3:35 pm

    The Rockets were my biggest worry in the West.

    Denver does seem to be strong, though.

  10. TTomTerrific said:

    May 17th, 2009 at 3:37 pm

    I think both Houston with Yau and Denver with Billips are better than the Cavaliers.

  11. Real life said:

    May 17th, 2009 at 3:47 pm

    Hmm. You could have simply written: “The Rockets will get their butt whipped today by a better team.”

  12. CrazyJoeDavola66 said:

    May 17th, 2009 at 4:04 pm

    I didn’t have too much of a problem with the game – kind of went like I figured it would.

    One of the most infuriating things, though, was how the announcers kept talking about what a “dominating” performance the Lakers were putting on.

    Fact is, it was pretty much an ordinary game from LA Lakers. At times, they were pretty bad, actually. Their defense was pretty good, but they threw up their share of bricks and awful passes. They were significantly better in Game 5, where the Rockets played pretty much the same as they did in that game.

    I mean, hell, Mark Jackson at one point said “This is the Laker team we’ve been waiting so long to see” or something to that effect. Yes, Mark, we had to wait all of 5 days.

    I appreciate them trying to find a way to make the game interesting, but making stuff up shouldn’t be necessary.

  13. RRR said:

    May 17th, 2009 at 7:33 pm

    Good coverage of the series, Trips. Thanks.

    How about a monthly blast on why the Astros drive you (and me) crazy?

    Or maybe just put together a nice collage of hate on Soriano and Pujols. That would be fun.

  14. Soothsayer said:

    May 17th, 2009 at 7:46 pm

    Denver beats LA and Cleveland.

  15. Bob in Houston said:

    May 18th, 2009 at 5:50 am

    I decided to go swimming during the first part of the game and watch the end if it turned out to be close. Didn’t want to watch them bury themselves.

    There is a TV set in the pool office and I actually saw that the Lakers scored the first eight points and I figured it was just a matter of the final score. When I got home, I think they were down 20 late in the third. All in all, a wise investment of my time.

  16. Art Vandelay said:

    May 18th, 2009 at 6:10 am

    Trips, I love your work but I think a strong case could be made that the NBA desperately needed the short handed Rockets and Celtics to hang around as long as possible.

    Having all 4 Conference Semi’s over in 4-5 games is bad for business.

  17. Vasherized said:

    May 18th, 2009 at 7:53 am

    That would make sense if the games had been close but they were alternating blowouts. Not much the refs can do to influence a game when you’re down 30.

  18. ESPN's little Kobe vs. LeBron Contest has gotten out of hand when the referees are the stars of the game just to cement a Lakers victory said:

    May 18th, 2009 at 8:50 am

    ” Hmm. You could have simply written: “The Rockets will get their butt whipped today by a better team.” ”

    Yes, but that would be a bold-faced lie. Without Kobe Cryant and Gasshole, the Lakers are less than nothing. The Rockets ran over them every game that wasn’t officiated by Crawford’s team. Do the math.

  19. The Wood Shed said:

    May 18th, 2009 at 10:38 am

    Stern’s Merry Gentlemen have had Cleveland vs LA penciled in since Game 1 of this entire season and to think otherwise is simply ignorant.

  20. Facebook User said:

    May 18th, 2009 at 10:50 am

    I had forgotten about that Tim Duncan stuff. Man, that video is preposterous.

  21. BEHorn said:

    May 18th, 2009 at 11:37 am

    Just when I thought the “refs fixed it” angle would die out prematurely, along comes Mr. Longhandle and The Wood Shed to confirm what we all know: The Rockets are a vastly superior team that could only be undone by the pernicious Sternian officiating conspiracy.

    Yes, that’s the answer.

  22. Kafka said:

    May 18th, 2009 at 11:46 am

    Trips, great stuff. Stern has gamed the refs for a long time. It may not have had much to do with the outcome of this particular series but the Crawford deployment still sucks (even if it was just an insurance policy).

    Dick Bavetta, a great ref who is not intimidated by the home crowd (i.e. who gives the away teams it’s best chance to win) also worked one of the Rocket’s home games.

    NBA refereeing sucks big time. The NBA star call (except for Yao) and preferential refereeing for the home team both probably originate from Stern.

  23. Crawford is either blind or on the take said:

    May 18th, 2009 at 1:45 pm

    Well, BEHorn, the Rockets did not play how they should have been playing, they would have lost anyway, but at least they might have had a “fair loss” had Crawford not been officiating.

    I saw so many Rockets get fouled with absolutely no calls and so many Lakers get “fouled” even before contact is made, that makes me tend to think something is up.

  24. BEHorn said:

    May 18th, 2009 at 5:36 pm

    Crawford is either blind or on the take – you might be surprised how many Laker fans saw it exactly the opposite way. As fans, we are FAR from unbiased.

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