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1. Flamingmonkeyass said:

   May 13th, 2009 at 5:55 am

   You’re tags alone sir are nothing if not sweet, sweet poetry.

2. SydneyCarton said:

   May 13th, 2009 at 6:06 am

   “Take him to sack the quarterback.”

   Yeah, not nearly as bowled over by this article as you. Guy doesn’t actually seem all THAT averse taking Chaisson. He just says don’t waste any time trying to reform him, and call a spade a spade.

3. WhoooTex said:

   May 13th, 2009 at 6:22 am

   “He just says don’t waste any time trying to reform him”

   It would be refreshing to see OU just run with that, unabashedly and unashamed. To hear Stoops just come out and say, “We’re about winning championships. I’m not about to compromise that mission by passing over elite athletes that have off-field issues. Jimmy Joe Bill Bob Smith might be a felon, but he didn’t sexually assault MY daughter. And what do I care if Dodecametrius Jackson can’t read? Kid’s at least gonna play Arena Ball, that’s a decent living.”

   And then Stoops would cackle maniacally as the music swelled to a dramatic crescendo. All that’s missing is the evil goatee, which he can’t grow because his other nut never dropped.

4. Jerry Schmidt said:

   May 13th, 2009 at 6:28 am

   “Whatever causes a guy to kidnap an ex-girlfriend, drive to the desert and put a screwdriver to her neck isn’t rectified by Jerry Schmidt’s early-morning runs.”

   Whatever. You can’t commit aggravated assault if you’re hacking up lungs and doing up-downs.

5. ponderos said:

   May 13th, 2009 at 6:41 am

   Oh, so NOW he’s sane.

   http://barkingcarnival.fantake.com/braggonut/you-are-part-of-the-problem

6. Thayer Evans said:

   May 13th, 2009 at 6:47 am

   Hey, “sane” is in the eye of the beholder.

7. Trips Right said:

   May 13th, 2009 at 6:58 am

   ponderos, yes, on the subject of calling Chaisson a sociopath, he’s sane.

   Maybe Chaisson can use his screw driver to fix the broken clock that’s right twice a day.

8. Stoops' other nut said:

   May 13th, 2009 at 7:26 am

   Ponderos…he has what we call “testicles.” You know, the wherewithall to actually write an artical about Chaisson.

   Which is more than you’re willing to do, we’ve all noticed by now.

9. Texoz said:

   May 13th, 2009 at 7:28 am

   OU has had more than their share of nefarious ne’er-do-wells, but they could have done so much better. Let’s take a look back at other stellar athletes that OU has missed out on:

   Jack the Ripper (RB) – was known for his slashing style and elusive moves.

   Cybil (DB) – difficult to get past this bitch in the secondary. She was in many places at once.

   Jefferey Dahmer (TE) – could eat up defenses, especially the young ones. Notorious cut blocker.

   Hannibal Lecter (QB) – very high football IQ. Had poor taste in women though.

   Richard Nixon (WR) – shifty bastard that ran good routes, but excelled in trick plays. Famous for having Checkers hump Reveille in the end zone.

   Bill Clinton (LB) – versatile defender that was great at stuffing holes.

   Idi Amin (DT) – list wouldn’t be complete without the “Ugandan Nightmare.” Just try have your RB dive off tackle into this Heart of Darkness and your whole family will disappear, literally.

   These are just a few of the outstanding athletes that OU could have taken. However, I know that football fans everywhere have faith that OU will pull in future greats like those listed above.

10. Thayer Evans said:

    May 13th, 2009 at 7:35 am

    Take it from me, Berry Trammel is a hack and wanna-be journalist.

11. Vasherized said:

    May 13th, 2009 at 7:40 am

    ponderos,

    Why is Trammel wearing long underwear and a wig in that video?

    He could use some fashion tips from our own super suave Kirk Bohls.

    Then they can share new styles in hyperbole, lame jokes, and jocking for their rival schools in the hometown paper under the guise of objectivity.

    Chaisson and Stoops are going to get along great. They’ll probably joke about that little screwdriver incident one day after beating A&M by 60 points.

12. NateHeupel said:

    May 13th, 2009 at 9:06 am

    Trips, when Berry Tramel is your voice of reason, you are truly outside of your mind. Step back and think about your life, sir, and how it got to this low point.

    Is Chaisson a sociopath? Anyone who would make a judgment call that severe having never met the kid might just qualify as an egomaniac. Plenty of those in Longhorn Nation, though. Plenty of those in journalism, too. Most parties in both groups have made a more sustained effort over time to prove their status, though.

    That said, what’s my problem with this take? I want a psychiatrist analyzing this kid, not some hack with mediocre writing skills and IQ.
    (Note: Trips, just so we’re clear, I’m referring to Tramel as mediocre, not you.)

    My policy on this would be simple. Flat head would spend 6 months getting his head screwed on straight in a psychiatrist’s office. No team meetings, no practices, no suiting up, just him going to class and the doctor. Preferably, this doctor would be a rabid UT alumnus. If, and only if, he got a green light from the shrink would he be allowed to practice with the team.

13. srr50 said:

    May 13th, 2009 at 9:24 am

    Oh, we know a sociopath when we see one.

    

14. Vasherized said:

    May 13th, 2009 at 9:31 am

    Nate,

    We don’t need Tramel to tell us Chaisson is a sociopath. That determination is pretty fucking simple when a dude takes his girlfriend out to the desert, threatens her life, and holds a screwdriver to her neck. In this case, the charges match the crime. Stoops overlooked both so there goes Ponderos’ theory …

    If you’re recommending psychiatric care while still supporting Stoops decision to welcome him with open arms then there’s a major disconnect in your thinking, apropos of Sooner logic.

    The next time Mack Brown doesn’t kick out a dipshit criminal from our program — and there certainly have been a few — will also be the first.

    Sincerely,
    A rabid egomaniac UT grad who understands basic shit.

15. Spring Branch Horn said:

    May 13th, 2009 at 9:43 am

    A sociopathsociopathsociopath is a person who has antisocial personality disorder. The term sociopathsociopathsociopath is no longer used to describe this disorder. The sociopathsociopathsociopath is now described as someone with antisocial personality disorder.
    The main characteristic of a sociopathsociopathsociopath is a disregard for the rights of others. Sociopaths are also unable to conform to what society defines as a normal personality. Antisocial tendencies are a big part of the sociopathsociopathsociopath’s personality. This pattern usually comes into evidence around the age of 15. If it is not treated, it can develop into adulthood.
    Visible symptoms include physical aggression and the inability to hold down a steady job. The sociopathsociopathsociopath also finds it hard to sustain relationships and shows a lack of regret in his or her actions. A major personality behavior trait is the violation of the rights of others. This can appear as a disregard for the physical or sexual wellbeing of another.
    Although these symptoms are all present, they may not always be evident. Research has shown that the sociopathsociopathsociopath is usually a person with an abundance of charm and wit. He or she may appear friendly and considerate, but these attributes are usually superficial. They are used as a way of blinding the other person to the personal agenda behind the sociopathsociopathsociopath’s behaviour. More

16. ponderos said:

    May 13th, 2009 at 9:48 am

    What was my theory, Vasherized?

17. Facebook User said:

    May 13th, 2009 at 9:54 am

    What’s your take on the whole thing, ponderos?

18. Parlin Hall said:

    May 13th, 2009 at 9:59 am

    “Famous for having Checkers hump Reveille in the end zone”

    Worth the whole thread.

19. Vasherized said:

    May 13th, 2009 at 10:06 am

    Sorry ponderos, that was Nate’s theory from the other post and I tend to hastily lump Sooners together since you’re all technically blood relatives:

    The problem is that you’re using a standard which misses the mark. Stoops goes off of the actual action, not the charges filed.

    Ooookay Nate.

    But Sailor asks a good question. Should Stoops have honored Chainsaw’s scholly?

20. Bartoncreek said:

    May 13th, 2009 at 10:29 am

    Gives new meaning to “screwing your girlfriend”.

    There would be about a zero % chance of this guy stepping foot on the forty. The fact that Sooners are actually trying to defend this piece of shit speaks volumes. Unfuckingbelievable, really.

21. ponderos said:

    May 13th, 2009 at 10:40 am

    Ripley. There are too many other good players out there to take a guy like this and get the heat you know is coming. In my opinion, Stoops took him for two reasons:

    1. He’s a scorpion and OU’s gonna need some DEs in a couple of years.
    2. He’s from Bishop Gorman and OU has a pretty good pipeline going there already (Murray and Reynolds). Stoops struck out to U$C on Gorman’s stud TE Grimble, so he really wanted to get another player from that football factory.

    People (read: us hack fans) begrudge coaches for rescinding scholarship offers, but I don’t think anybody would have given Stoops shit for pulling this one. He punted Jarboe for much less, but in hindsight it looked to be the right decision since the kid can’t stay out of trouble at Troy, either.

    I wouldn’t have taken him, but I don’t get paid eleventy-million dollars to take that heat like Stoops does.

    and kudos to Trips for correcting the spelling of Tramel’s name. ;)

22. Steaming piles of bullshit said:

    May 13th, 2009 at 10:41 am

    There would be about a zero % chance of this guy stepping foot on the forty.

    I agree!

23. Bartoncreek said:

    May 13th, 2009 at 11:00 am

    Can you give me a comparable example?

24. Eskimohorn said:

    May 13th, 2009 at 12:09 pm

    Bartoncreek, are you actually going to get into a discussion with a “steaming piles of bullshit?”

25. Black Scholes said:

    May 13th, 2009 at 12:45 pm

    “Is Chaisson a sociopath? Anyone who would make a judgment call that severe having never met the kid might just qualify as an egomaniac. Plenty of those in Longhorn Nation, though. Plenty of those in journalism, too. Most parties in both groups have made a more sustained effort over time to prove their status, though.”

    For the love of God. If you’re not a seedy defense attorney, you missed your calling. Although I guess routinely having to defend the lack of ethics in the OU athletic program would give you a lot of practice at this type of thing.

26. Drag King in Centralia, PA said:

    May 13th, 2009 at 2:17 pm

    Never judge a book by its cover.

27. Horns Down said:

    May 13th, 2009 at 2:51 pm

    Get over it Horns!! All the boy did was to put a screwdriver to the neck of someone who was a friend, one he was familiar with and knew intimately. Seems to be just a run of the mill case of family violence. The potential violence wasn’t done to a complete stranger and it’s not as if he inserted it or anything. In my book, no blood, no harm, no foul.

    And if one is actually stupid enough to believe in the definition of a sociopath floating around above, then that person is only a stone’s throw away from being one himself. The above definition is a laughable joke….I should know.

28. coolhorn said:

    May 13th, 2009 at 2:55 pm

    Trying to decide if Chaisson is a sociopath? Here’s a little pop quiz…you have a daughter, Chaisson’s her squeeze, he takes her for a moonlight drive into the desert, and puts the screw(driver) to her neck, among other unsavory activities. What’s he to you now? If it walks and quacks like a duck, it’s probably Daffy. Second chances are nice, but this guy’s second chance needs to come someplace with rubber walls. So…why does it surprise anyone here that Stoops will welcome Chaisson with nothing worse than a brotherly slap on the wrist. His daughter, if he has one, isn’t likely to be Chaisson’s next date bait.

29. RansomStoddard said:

    May 13th, 2009 at 3:25 pm

    100% of the okies that responded to his column were calling for Tramel’s head and demanding that Stoops give this loser a schollie.

30. Horns Down said:

    May 13th, 2009 at 7:12 pm

    “Chaisson’s her squeeze, he takes her for a moonlight drive into the desert, and puts the screw(driver) to her neck, among other unsavory activities.”

    You make it sound so bad and put it in such a bad light. As I said, what’s the big deal with just putting a screwdriver next to someone’s neck. He didn’t insert it, draw blood, or even scratch her with it. As far as “unsavory activities” are concerned, that is his girlfriend. He is supposed to be boinking the hell out of her. What?…is a Sooner not allowed the right to boink his girlfriend in kinky ways.

    Also, about all this daughter violation outrage stuff, these days whose daughter doesn’t end up being violated in end. I’ve certainly never met a daughter yet who has not been violated eventually in some form or manner by some over-aggressive prick at some point in her life. None of this is anything new or special.

    And Coolhorn, don’t be trying to pass off to us that you yourself have never been a party to the violation of someone else’s daughter. Ain’t nobody on these boards or even this planet gonna be believing you on that one.

    The incident was probably due in large part to ‘roid rage to some extent. He is a young man with his entire future still ahead of him. Sounds a bit cruel to deny a young man his future because of just one mistake where no one was harmed, especially considering that his over aggression was probably fueled by a drug known for making people a little over aggressive and not due to his natural overall temperment. The better and the much fairer option would be to teach the boy to cycle his ‘roids better so that it will not affect his emotional moods as much and to just tell him to learn from his past mistakes and be done with it.

    Hey man, the world is not perfect and the people in it are certainly not so. What more do you expect to be done about the matter? You wanna ruin a young man’s entire future just because of one fucking harmless incident? That option sounds cruel and utterly dickless as hell.

31. Gus McCrae said:

    May 13th, 2009 at 9:31 pm

    ^^^

    I can’t believe what I just read.

32. Black Scholes said:

    May 13th, 2009 at 9:52 pm

    ‘Horns Down’ was the most intelligent thing that jackass typed. It was actually downhill from there.

33. Nicole-Barbe Ponsardin said:

    May 13th, 2009 at 11:29 pm

    I’m seeing Horns Down as satire.

34. Horns Up said:

    May 14th, 2009 at 3:44 am

    Well done, Horns Down. You even got the local yokels vocals.

35. WhoooTex said:

    May 14th, 2009 at 5:59 am

    “sociopathsociopathsociopath”

    If you do this while standing in front of a mirror, Chaisson will suddenly materialize behind you, screwdriver in hand.

36. Horns Down said:

    May 14th, 2009 at 9:32 am

    Gus and Blackie, I personally challenge both of you or, for that matter, any member of the Horns Up legion on these boards to specifically state how anything I said above is either wrong or not intelligent. The satire will be the public dressing down you Horns Up boys receive from Horns Down.

    Geez, for some reason or other, I doubt if either of you supposedly so self-assured fellows will respond. It’s easy to be self-assured and judgemental as long as you merely limit yourself to flimsy one liners.

    Feel free to prove me wrong on this and respond to my challenge and prove that you both are too legitimate to receive the public beating you two impotent, Horns Up windbags will most certainly receive and deserve to receive at the hands of Horns Down.

37. Doperbo said:

    May 14th, 2009 at 9:50 am

    1 vote for satire. Though he does bring up valid questions. If I read that correctly Gus and Black must now:

    1. Prove him wrong (on this)
    2. Respond to his challenge (Official Barking Carnival Challenges adhere to the rules of The Game from GymKata- see Huckleberry for scheduling)
    3. Prove that your parents were married.

    I think that’s where we stand currently.

38. General Zod said:

    May 14th, 2009 at 9:55 am

    “Feel free to prove me wrong on this and respond to my challenge and prove that you both are too legitimate to receive the public beating you two impotent, Horns Up windbags will most certainly receive and deserve to receive at the hands of Horns Down.”

    I like the way you speak. Very good.

39. LonghornScott said:

    May 14th, 2009 at 9:58 am

    Somewhere, a parallel sentence diagram just lost its wings.

40. Kosciuszko said:

    May 14th, 2009 at 10:06 am

    Frank Deford, one of my favorite sports writers, spoke locally two weeks ago.

    He referenced a conversation he claimed to have recently had with OU’s president, the former Senator. He asked the president to explain OU’s incredible long-term dominance over its in-state rival. The response:

    “Frank, our acronym is OU; theirs is OSU. Ours is obviously easier for football players to spell.”

41. flimsy one liners said:

    May 14th, 2009 at 10:15 am

    Well I’m rubber and you’re glue…

42. Horns Down said:

    May 14th, 2009 at 2:47 pm

    “Somewhere, a parallel sentence diagram just lost its wings.”

    If don’t mind and if it is not too difficult or too long, could you explain what you mean by this thing called “parallel sentence diagram”. I must have been napping or daydreaming in class when the teach went over this. If parallel sentences are a no, no, then I certainly do not wish to keep on unknowingly embarrassing myself by continuing to parallel sentences when sentences are not, in fact, supposed to be parallelled at all.

    That’s what I like about the Bark: always an opportunity to learn something new on it each and everyday. Since I am supposedly glue, I am sure whatever you inform me with will stick.

43. Minnesotahorn said:

    May 14th, 2009 at 3:03 pm

    How is it that no OU fan has yet cited this story.

    That’s usually like number two of their four go to moves.

44. Facebook User said:

    May 14th, 2009 at 3:21 pm

    That’s fucking awful.

    Scouts Inc.’s take

    From an on-field standpoint, Tennessee signee Daniel Hood is a super high-motor prospect who could excel on either side of the ball. If he lines up on offense side, as early reports indicate he will, Hood has the tools to become a good college offensive lineman.

    The Vols are likely to bring Hood along slowly. He has the raw tools, but he’ll need to add bulk and refine his ability. He needs to channel some of his aggressiveness in to better technique on offense. Still, his long frame and athleticism are qualities that can’t be taught. UT only brought in two projected O-line prospects in its 2009 class, so Hood helps in filling an important need area.
    – Craig Haubert, Scouts Inc.

    • Recruiting index | UT’s 2009 class

    One free Barking Carnival merkin to the first person who can find a recruiting story about Chaisson that refers to him “having all the tools“.

45. WhoooTex said:

    May 14th, 2009 at 5:28 pm

    “One free Barking Carnival merkin to the first person who can find a recruiting story about Chaisson that refers to him “having all the tools“.”

    Do his fans count?

46. closetojumping said:

    May 15th, 2009 at 4:33 pm

    I am in Europe on a honeymoon and when I am not thinking about new husband business, I am thinking about the business I left behind for a week. So be it. I decided to scan this site while out of town. This thread made me laugh out loud 3 times when reading it, and the woman eventually woke up. So be it, but it is worthy of noting of one of the funnier threads I’ve been fortunate enough to read.

47. Parlin Hall said:

    May 15th, 2009 at 8:37 pm

    Hey CTJ–

    Congrats.

    Pretty soon she’ll want you to start using the other “w” word, I’m guessing. Drop me a line if you need any tips on Paris–restaurants, etc. I’m living here for the spring.

48. Vasherized said:

    May 15th, 2009 at 9:56 pm

    Paris? Try Belgrade.

49. Ecurbmanchild said:

    May 19th, 2009 at 11:31 am

    Not sure if he “has all the tools” but I know he has a screwdriver and that he is a tool.

50. TaylorTRoom said:

    June 12th, 2009 at 3:38 am

    Love this: Coach Bob Stoops said Thursday that he and his staff thoroughly reviewed the facts and disposition of Justin Chaisson’s case and based their decision on the “independent assessment of the district attorney’s office and court system.”

    http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2009/football/ncaa/06/12/oklahoma.recruit.ap/index.html

    Wasn’t the “independent” assessment that Chaisson is a dangerous thug, but if he’ll just leave the state and enroll at OU, the Nevada judicial system sees no need to incarcerate him?

51. RansomStoddard said:

    June 12th, 2009 at 5:40 am

    Yeah, Nevada clearly wants this thug out of their state and out of their penal system. OU is of course happy to take him.

52. Blueshorn said:

    June 12th, 2009 at 7:04 am

    “We take these matters of conduct very seriously. Justin fully understands our expectations and his responsibilities of exemplary behavior and professional counseling. He knows the consequences if he does not meet those requirements.”

    Consequences:

    If he steps out of line, we’ll suspend him for a few games and then apply for an extra year of eligibility, like we did with Dusty Dvoracek.

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