Articles
An Englishman in College Station
Posted by Guest Columnist on May 11th, 2009 under Uncategorized
Frequent Carnival visitor EnglishAg mentioned to me that he was an English exchange student in College Station. This struck me as an interesting situation so I asked him to write it up (with no hope for any ball kicking). Here it is.
– S.R.
_______________________________________
Howdy!
I hope that is the correct version of hello in these parts… everything I know about tu was learnt in College Station and tested on Texags. You have to forgive me if my view is a little distorted.
In short, I was an English exchange student dropped into College Station for a year… fast forward a few years and Sailor has given me free reign to talk about my experiences in the hope that I give the ags a kick in the balls. Unfortunately, I don’t think I have it in me to do it. Not because I ‘bleed maroon’, but because I was dropped into Disney army-ranch and had a great time.
The backstory to all this is that my original choices UCLA and USC chose exchange students with good academic standing, leaving me with my third choice – admittedly, A&M didn’t really want me either, but in the brave world of international academia, they really had no choice.
Being the only student from the Lancaster University in College Station had its perks – no direct academic competition meant that, provided that I didn’t make a spectacular ass of myself in class, I was free to do whatever I pleased.
Consider that for a moment, you are 19 years of age, you have practically no responsibilities, a free pass to do whatever you want …and you are in College Station, the land where the cheerleaders are dressed in overalls, are male and encourage me to squeeze my balls whenever the football team are losing.
The real differences between university in England and America are obvious – American universities are so wealthy – Harvard has greater annual income that all English universities combined, so the facilities really are first rate and the campuses incredible. Admittedly, business school isn’t exactly expensive to run, but there is a whole world of difference between the Lowry Mays School of Business and LUMS. The biggest difference is in the education. An English education is all about the academia. Courses at Lancaster consisted of followed the path of:
1. reading list and essay title;
2. 1 week preparation time;
3. seminar with 5-10 other people discussing / grilling your work
4. repeat 10 times; and
5. final exam with 2 questions to answer in 4 hours.
In comparison, in College Station, a former Enron employee would read you excerpts of Ken Lay’s autobiography before asking you to complete a multiple choice test. One big production line.
Anyway, rant over. College isn’t about studying. It is about binge drinking and girls trying to find themselves. College Station was quite good for that – many will laugh at that statement, but all the girls want is a guy that doesn’t wear dickies. Many people have said that the best place to be a college athlete is Baylor – I agree with that – a never ending supply of baptist guilt ready to be exploited. Well change the words athlete and baptist guilt with exchange student and top heavy country girls in hotpants… you get the general idea.
If the pros of College Station are the girls and lax educational standards, the big con is the eternal hell of aggie athletics. Sailor may allow me to drop by again with my outsider’s views on sport, so I don’t want to give things away too much…suffice to say RC Slocum sent me to athletic hell – not by sucking so bad that I didn’t care, by being just a turnover here and a couple of bad decisions from being good. Imagine, I go back to England throw away my fake id, my girlfriend and everything else I held dear only to be left with an aggie athletics hangover – one that remains to this day.
Share This
38 Responses
Leave a Reply
Related Articles
-
35
Laying an egg in College Station…The Grades are in
By Trips Right on January 31st, 2008 -
46
Sherman’s Shambles at College Station
By EyesOfTX on October 20th, 2008 -
32
The Flutie Factor & College Enrollment
By Scipio Tex on January 23rd, 2009 -
2
Stanford players are smart
By HenryJames on October 9th, 2007 -
8
Battle For The Basement Bet: A&M/Baylor
By Scipio Tex on November 22nd, 2009
Activity
-
Nate Heupel commented on the blog post Oklahoma Sooners – Recruiting So Far 20 minutes ago
BOC: Neither has visited, yet we hold ’ships open for both.
SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });
-
Nate Heupel wrote a new blog post: Because We’re Dedicated To Doing Stupid Things – Tiny Gallon Reportedly Took Payout 28 minutes ago
TMZ reports that Tiny Gallon took a $3000 payout from an agent. My God, Capel has no control over this team whatsoever. This is 2007 offseason Texas football levels of embarrassing. You can’t let a half dozen bad apples spoil a bushel of 10 apples…that analogy sucked balls, but you get my
SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });
-
Sailor Ripley commented on the blog post Previewing Jimmer and the Cougars 1 hour, 39 minutes ago
Great stuff, bear. really looking forward to this game.
SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });
-
Nickel Rover commented on the blog post Barnes worst team 1 hour, 40 minutes ago
06_UT: you are probably right. I thought about changing the post description to “least favorite Barnes team” because that’s more accurate but I didn’t feel like it.
That said, I’m not sure this team would beat those other two. They would lose Abrams and let him go 7-15 on 3s and the Abrams team played better -
admin commented on the blog post Nike U in Turmoil 1 hour, 44 minutes ago
Aren’t they building some sort of super duper hoops arena? Most expensive ever bilt or something?
Who will the get? Mark Few?
-
Sailor Ripley commented on the blog post Nike U in Turmoil 1 hour, 44 minutes ago
Aren’t the building some sort of super duper hoops arena? Most expensive ever bilt or something?
Who will the get? Mark Few?
-
srr50 wrote a new blog post: Nike U in Turmoil 2 hours, 1 minute ago
10 weeks ago, Oregon played in the Rose Bowl as Pac 10 champions. Since their loss to Ohio State, the program has been in some kind of bizzaro parallel universe where every headline concerns a player arrest, a firing, or now a resignation.
Mike Bellotti, the Duck AD and former head coach earlier this week
-
Luke commented on the blog post First Round: Clemson Tigers 4 hours, 13 minutes ago
Prescient comment, Doc.
I think we learned today that no team is really a mirror image of Missouri, even if Clemson is about as close as it gets. Unless you have significantly better/more talented athletes, if you try to run with the Tigers, you will lose. This team is so much fun to watch in games
-
srr50 commented on the blog post March Madness Open Thread Part Deaux 4 hours, 27 minutes ago
Good to see that Tom Penders still believes in the weave offense. Maryland finally figured out that if you pass quickly, the middle is always open.
37-29 Maryland late in the first half.
-
Luke wrote a new blog post: Previewing Jimmer and the Cougars 4 hours, 28 minutes ago
Kansas State is going to be under a lot of pressure tomorrow night in primetime at the Ford Center.
Not only are the Wildcats the favored #2 seed going against #7 seed BYU, but if the Wildcats lose, they may sentence hundreds of boys to nonstop harassment from all the kids who think that “Jimmer” was
SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });
-
Ibas water bottle wrote a new blog post: Georgia Tech post mortem 4 hours, 40 minutes ago
We came up short.
Credit to Georgia Tech they worked the ball inside where they had the advantage and played great D on the perimeter. Matt Pilgrim is the most athletic big man we’ve had in years around here and he was irrelevant. When we tried to drive they collapsed like Chris Farley on a
SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });
-
Phenomenal Smith commented on the blog post First Round: Clemson Tigers 5 hours, 15 minutes ago
Doc, the turnovers seemed to do the trick – there were great big chunks of time when Mizzou didn’t even have to get into a half court offense.
Great to see Ramsey have such a good game and pretty stifle Booker. As Euclid said during the game, even when Mizzou doesn’t play well
-
dick commented on the blog post Barnes worst team 5 hours, 55 minutes ago
“Also because those other teams gave great effort almost every game. This team’s effort was questionable. Dumb and lazy, not a good combo…..”
This is what made this season so bizarre for me. This has never been a problem for Barnes’ teams. But I actually questioned this team’s heart and desire to play together
-
srr50 commented on the blog post March Madness Open Thread Part Deaux 6 hours, 8 minutes ago
Travis Ford spent the 2nd half channeling his inner Rick Barnes — lot’s of standing around on offense while one player tries to generate something off a ball screen — then taking a forced shot.
So the Big 12 goes 5-2 in Round One.
-
skymonkeyhorn commented on the blog post Barnes worst team 6 hours, 13 minutes ago
This is the worst coached team ever in Barnes era. Period.
Worst defense over the whole season,
Offense sucked big time and the bench coaching was horrible, ransom’s attitude was better then the coach’s overall this season.
Trips write up pre and post better then the game plan and O schemes.
Hell we could have -
srr50 commented on the blog post March Madness Open Thread Part Deaux 6 hours, 17 minutes ago
advertisers think they will probably get some deals for the additional 32 games that would be added. The feeling is that an ESPN would disount rates somewhat, since they already have a dual revenue stream — advertising dollars and subscription fees.
It’s all about content for ESPN — even mediocre content.
-
dick commented on the blog post FLV March Madness First Round Bets 6 hours, 18 minutes ago
a great first round of the tournament from an excitement standpoint, very mediocre from a gambling standpoint.
-
srr50 commented on the blog post March Madness Open Thread Part Deaux 6 hours, 34 minutes ago
Ga. Tech — last in the ACC in free throw shooting at 64% — 13 for 13 tonight.
-
srr50 commented on the blog post March Madness Open Thread Part Deaux 6 hours, 44 minutes ago
A poll of media buyers from the major agencies overhwhelmingly showed that advertisers believe that the NCAA will expand, and the tournament will join the BCS on ESPN.
-
whiskey wrote a new blog post: The week in news- Pariahs, Malcontents and Power Hour 6 hours, 46 minutes ago
In the midst of March Madness, St. Patrick’s Day, house guests, nice weather outside and a host of other distractions I still managed to come across quite a few interesting college football stories this week. Here we go.
Mike Leach and Craig James were apparently in the same room this week and nobody wrestled. Bummer. Leach
SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });
-
srr50 commented on the blog post March Madness Open Thread Part Deaux 6 hours, 58 minutes ago
Anderson finds out what going to the paint is like when there is a big who knows how to defend the low block.
-
srr50 wrote a new blog post: March Madness Open Thread Part Deaux 7 hours, 8 minutes ago
So far on Day Two, no buzzer beaters, but there was the obligatory #12 over #5 with Cornell thumping Temple 78-65, but the Ivy League school was everyone’s “inside” pick for an upset. Still the day hasn’t come close to generating the action that Thursday had.
Today
#5 Texas A&M 69 #12 -
Patrick Bateman commented on the blog post Barnes worst team 7 hours, 33 minutes ago
I wasn’t trying to say they quit. They just didn’t play hard a lot of the time. Lazy = lack of effort. Example, our transition defense was about 75% effort and 25% stupidity. We loafed down court a lot. The kids didn’t like to lose so they would fight back,
-
Patrick Bateman commented on the blog post Barnes worst team 9 hours, 6 minutes ago
This the most disappointing team because our talent level is higher than those others.
The DGib/Buckman team was the least talented, barely, after the injury to LaMarcus and Tucker’s suspension.
Last year’s team was the hardest to watch. Just watching AJ Abrams, who I don’t hate as much as most, run around like a
-
uthookem commented on the blog post Barnes worst team 9 hours, 12 minutes ago
Agreed on Damo being my favorite Longhorn basketball player, I wish him all the best.
This was definitely the worst, by far.
-
Trips Right commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest: Post Mortem 10 hours, 25 minutes ago
Don’t have time to address each and every comment now, but I wanted to say thanks to everyone for contributing to the site this season. It’s made it a lot of fun to follow a team that’s tough to watch at times.
Also, I wanted to thank you for the kind words as
-
Hiphopopotamus commented on the blog post Big Dance: Day Two 10 hours, 26 minutes ago
And that’s all she wrote…relatively boring day so far. A&M out to a nice early lead.
SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });
-
Art Vandelay commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest: Post Mortem 10 hours, 29 minutes ago
Trips,
Great work all year long. Love the passion. The fact that you kept writing these (even around the birth of a child), is fantastic, shows your commitment, and is a little freaky. :-)
I think you showed great restraint in this post. It would have been easier to “go off” on Barnes.
-
ghostofagroundgame commented on the blog post Barnes worst team 10 hours, 30 minutes ago
Second awesomest thing — Magnus gets his woman to go to Hooters with him.
-
Hiphopopotamus commented on the blog post Big Dance: Day Two 10 hours, 36 minutes ago
Missouri going to hang on…
Sconsin clinging to a 2 point cushion
SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });
SizzleChest said:
May 11th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
That wasn’t a cheerleader that encouraged you to squeeze your nuts. That was HenryJames.
Tate Pittman said:
May 11th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
Hey, limey – would you help me with this?
Spawn of Cthulhu said:
May 11th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
I salute you. I spent a year at Lancaster University as an exchange student in 1986-7.
The work wasn’t grueling (I remember my Biochem final was 300 true/false questions), I learned to play rugby (started with Rugby League, since that was easier for an American to understand), and I enjoyed the fact that all the beer I could drink was imported at domestic prices. A great experience.
On the other hand, I can’t imagine the culture shock you must have had by ending up at College Station. The area around Lancaster is fairly rural, but still the people seemed otherwise normal.
The other interesting thing, I noticed, was that the rivalries in the UK were much older. Our rivalry with TAMU, OU, etc goes back maybe a century. The rivalry between Lancaster and York goes back 600 years or so and involved warfare and lots of killing and devestation. It felt good to beat them on the rugby pitch, though we weren’t allowed to execute them afterward.
Vasherized said:
May 11th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
I got arrested for pissing on a statue at the University of East Anglia so at least we have something in common.
The nut squeezing should be familiar for you EPL fans. I’m assuming it’s Man U given Lancaster’s proximity but it could just as well be Liverpool.
I’m amazed at how relatively unscathed you emerged from the fightin farmer worm hole.
Three snaps and a pint for you, EnglishAg.
Facebook User said:
May 11th, 2009 at 2:02 pm
That was a prefect not a statue, you sodding tosser.
Vasherized said:
May 11th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
If those cheeky bastards didn’t stand so damn still maybe my legless arse could tell the difference you yabbing yob.
Black Scholes said:
May 11th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
I think the lesson here is when they ask you for a third choice – juuuust in case those first two in So Cal don’t work out – it’s not the time to throw some agricultural and mechanical school onto the queue just to be cheeky. Just a thought.
Valhalla Rising said:
May 11th, 2009 at 9:31 pm
Pint ‘n pie anyone?
Ben E. Hill said:
May 11th, 2009 at 11:23 pm
“top heavy country girls in hotpants…”
The phrase “country girls” here (along with history and physics) suggests this disproportion isn’t long for the world.
EnglishAg said:
May 12th, 2009 at 12:48 am
Spawn – good to hear from a fellow Lancastrian. I played rugby league too but cricket was the only sport I competed in at roses.
I know what you mean about the 600 years of history – I grew up near Lancaster so it meant more to me than most (although certainly not life and death) – kind of like being a Texan at Texas playing against Oklahoma.
I guess teaching styles are different between departments at lancaster. Just to be clear, at times tamu courses could be hard, but overall I found lancaster a constant level of pain rather than tamu’s boom / bust.
On the top heavy country girl issue, there appears to be just such a thing in my gym this morning wearing a longhorn t-shirt – not bad considering I am 6000 miles from Austin.
Watcher said:
May 12th, 2009 at 3:55 am
However good of a time you had in that wasteland, I can assure you it would have been 100 times better in Austin at t.. (ahem) at U.T.
Ag_in_TX said:
May 12th, 2009 at 5:22 am
Doubtful – if you take off your orange-tinted glasses, you’ll realize College Station is a great place to raise hell, be 20 and drink way too much.
English – interesting write-up – I am from Lancaster, TX, so we are practically twins.
I will add that you must not have been an engineering major if you did not find the academics rigorous. I can assure you the Mechanical Engineering program is violently rigorous.
And there are no female cheerleaders in the U.K. either, so you should have felt right at home.
BatesHorn said:
May 12th, 2009 at 5:58 am
Oddly enough, this experience mirrors my time at the University of Queensland, Brisbane in Australia. Since Brisbane is in the hinterland of OZ, the girls found Americans to be different in a good way. A really good way.
Luckily for me, my college won the athletic cup, so unlike the Aggies, it was all good.
intellectual type said:
May 12th, 2009 at 5:58 am
Nope, I am originally from the Austin area and a quarter of my class went to A&M and the other quarter to UT. EVERYONE, including the A&M graduates, agreed that Austin was much more fun than College Station.
Delusion said:
May 12th, 2009 at 6:04 am
I agree with you 100% Ag_in_TX! How UT consistantly ranks in the Top 5 party schools in beyond me. It must be a Burnt Orange Media Conspiracy. 6th Street has nothing on the Dixie Chicken and cow tipping. And, why would an Englishman want tan hotties in sun dresses when you can mug down with a pasty co-ed after scoring a touchdown? Sure, if he was in Austin he’d score as much as the English dude from “Love Actually,” but he’d miss out on all the great traditions at A&M.
Nordberg said:
May 12th, 2009 at 6:16 am
“Doubtful – if you take off your orange-tinted glasses, you’ll realize College Station is a great place to raise hell, be 20 and drink way too much.”
I would say that literally any college town (besides Waco I guess) would qualify as a great place to be 20, drink, and raise hell, using your criteria.
BatesHorn said:
May 12th, 2009 at 7:23 am
I drank too much, was 20, and raised hell quite successfully in Lewiston, ME. (Google it, I’ll wait)
That doesn’t qualify Bates as a good party school.
Holy Cow said:
May 12th, 2009 at 7:40 am
Without looking it up BatesHorn, is that the nome of Bowdoin College?
George W. Bush said:
May 12th, 2009 at 8:11 am
What? Be 20, drink too much, and raise hell?
Where do I sign up?
BatesHorn said:
May 12th, 2009 at 8:49 am
Fuck, I wish. Bowdoin is in Brunswick, ME, a beautiful little Maine coastal town. Gorgeous campus, even if the girls are your typical Northeast liberal arts warpigs. Famous alumni: Joshua Lawerance Chamberlain, Franklin Pierce, Longfellow, Hawthorne.
Bates College is in Lewiston, second largest population center in Maine and an old, run down mill town. Shithole. Famous ALumni: Bryant Gumbel.
Nordberg said:
May 12th, 2009 at 8:57 am
BatesHorn, I went to high school in Austin with a guy that went to Bates. I don’t suppose you graduated in 1992.
BatesHorn said:
May 12th, 2009 at 8:59 am
Westlake, Class of 92. There was also a guy in my class at Bates from Austin High.
Nordberg said:
May 12th, 2009 at 9:10 am
Holy shit.
What’s your e-mail.
lowery said:
May 12th, 2009 at 9:45 am
Bates, remember that time I stepped on your nuts when we were playing football?
I’m going to email Bevan right now. Haha. Small world.
Ag_in_TX said:
May 12th, 2009 at 9:59 am
College Station – Party Capitol of Texas*
BatesHorn said:
May 12th, 2009 at 10:00 am
Jesus. Like I don’t have enough work today that you yahoos show up. Awesome.
lonestar190@yahoo.com
Spring Branch Horn said:
May 12th, 2009 at 10:17 am
Did y’all receive you Masters at Bates?
Spring Branch Horn said:
May 12th, 2009 at 10:17 am
One more time
Did y’all receive your Masters at Bates?
BatesHorn said:
May 12th, 2009 at 10:56 am
Clever. No. Really. Haven’t heard that one before. Also: No Vacancies.
slobhorn said:
May 12th, 2009 at 11:14 am
Bates – do you happen to know an alumnus of St. Mark’s/Hillcrest (Dallas)/St. Stephens from your time at Bates? Now living in LA?
Parlin Hall said:
May 12th, 2009 at 11:20 am
Swift sets up the Master Bates joke like a pro in the first paragraph or so of Gulliver’s Travels.
Which is why it’s a classic.
BatesHorn said:
May 12th, 2009 at 11:58 am
I knew a few guys from Dallas while I was there. I fell out of contact with alot of people after I graduated.
Bates had one of the worst football teams in Division III, and a overall sports program that bordered on intramural in quality (except Skiing) The few Texans who actually wanted to play sports after arriving usually quit after a few weeks because the whole affair was so pathetically amateur-eque.
Morningstar Farms said:
May 12th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
Scipio- when you mention Texas country girls, I can’t help but think of an overly friendly Pam Anderson type-complete with hay hanging out of her mouth!You rarely get that in the city.
Squeellyka hawg said:
May 12th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
Why do people always make fun of the overtly sexual and rural people? I thought you guys were all about “feedom”.Everyone evolves differently.College will teach you all that.
scagnetti said:
May 12th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
FWIW…
When I was 20, raisin hell and drinkin my way to oblivion, I WAS in Waco, and it was great.
Bible-beatin’ Daddy’s girls are just plane naughty. Filthy wealth of riches in dear ol’ McClennan County. I did more deviously degenerate things in Waco, Texas, including the bouncy female enrolees.
EnglishAg said:
May 13th, 2009 at 1:46 am
ag-in-tx – my roommate was a engineer – he seemed to work pretty hard – i stayed out of his way. he also spent a lot of time reading gun weekly (or similar) and playing dominoes in the northside dorms.
i was lucky – the classes that i took gave me time to have a fun. maybe i would have had more fun or chased more ass at other schools – but the ‘traditions’ and overall experience will hang around longer than any STD’s i would have been at risk to at tech.
intellectual type said:
May 13th, 2009 at 5:36 am
Haha, even the Englishman likes to poke fun at Tech and their filthy private parts. Well, not poke…but you get the point. Excellent.
telekinetic fish/Rebel Rebel Republican said:
May 13th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
Dear ‘hog, not true. I’m enthraled by rural Amish ppl. & their language & culture. I am also a big fan of Mr.Ed (the handsome horse resembles Jamie Moyer of the Phillies). I also shop Big Box stores because of the excellent value they offer. I enjoy (humane) fast food.