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Nails – The Interview

Posted by Vasherized on April 23rd, 2009 under Uncategorized

In part II of BC’s offseason film series, we continue to examine the inner workings of Barking Carnival’s hiring practices and fundraising strategies.

Sailor Ripley invited Lenny Dykstra over to discuss his new role as Barking Carnival’s desperately needed CFO. It went exactly according to plan.

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10 Responses

  1. “It’s like a steroid that makes money….”

    Oh God…

  2. That kicks ass!

  3. Good stuff. Sailer Ripley’s sophistication cannot be denied.

  4. Facebook User said:

    April 23rd, 2009 at 10:53 am

    Apparently I just left the coaches’ box. Or my telemarketing sales job.

  5. That’s exactly how Doperbo stares at Sailor when he starts breakdancing in mid conversation.

  6. Vasherized said:

    April 23rd, 2009 at 11:20 am

    Sailor,

    I’m not surprised you conveniently forget about that vintage bluetooth headset you sported circa 2003. Bay area tech-nesia.

  7. I’m afraid to watch it at work, but it doesn’t really matter. I’ve imagined an eerily accurate transcript of the conversation. In my mind.

  8. SizzleChest said:

    April 23rd, 2009 at 12:31 pm

    So Dykstra, an assistant and a driver dash out of his office en route to the meeting, carrying plastic-wrapped bundles of The Players Club magazine. Inside the office elevator, Dykstra lifts his right leg like a dog relieving itself — he retains a degree of the old flexibility — and farts.

    Turns out, he’d forgotten more than his manners. He remembers that he left a cashmere sweater behind, too, which brings the elevator to a halt and sends Dykstra back to the office on a flight of retrieval.

    “I’m gonna get them with my cashmere, bro,” he says, back in the elevator with the sweater. “Gotta go try and make some money.”

  9. Here’s a little background on Fast Lenny in case your last glimpse of him was diving tobacco-cheek first into home plate.

    Having attended Game 6 of the 1986 World Series as a frothing 11 year-old Mets fan, I’ll always have a soft spot (and an open wallet) for Nails. There is no person I’d rather lose my time, money, and dignity with.*

    *except the pederasts that comprise barking carnival.

  10. BrickHorn said:

    April 23rd, 2009 at 1:19 pm

    Having attended Game 6 of the 1986 World Series as a frothing 11 year-old Mets fan, I’ll always have a soft spot (and an open wallet) for Nails. There is no person I’d rather lose my time, money, and dignity with.

    No three phrases go together quite as well as “frothing,” “Mets fan,” and “lost dignity.”

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