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1. dutchie said:

   April 15th, 2009 at 9:55 am

   I think Tom Cruise would make a pretty good Snarf.

2. Facebook User said:

   April 15th, 2009 at 10:07 am

   I like the idea of ‘communurturers’. Puts me in mind of analrapists.

   Great stuff as always, Doperbo.

3. DDD said:

   April 15th, 2009 at 10:14 am

   I’m sorry. I got stuck on “Nail the Baroness”

4. Parlin Hall said:

   April 15th, 2009 at 10:23 am

   Nice one, Sailor.

5. Minnesotahorn said:

   April 15th, 2009 at 10:28 am

   This is goddamn excellence.

   When I was six my highest aspiration in life was to meet/drive T-Bob from MASK. I don’t see how any dream conceived by man could eclipse that.

6. jc25 said:

   April 15th, 2009 at 10:31 am

   Say what you want about Michael Bay, but dude brought Kate Beckinsale AND Megan Fox to the mainstream.

   He can fuck up my childhood all he wants if he can hit the trifecta.

7. Steve Nebraska said:

   April 15th, 2009 at 10:46 am

   I think Bruce Villanch would be a natural for Snarf.

8. Brian said:

   April 15th, 2009 at 11:08 am

   I don’t know if this is hitting the trifecta (Beckinsale and Fox are top tier), but I think this Cheetara is pretty good stuff.

   

9. The General said:

   April 15th, 2009 at 11:48 am

   Say what you want about Michael Bay, but dude brought Kate Beckinsale AND Megan Fox to the mainstream.

   He can fuck up my childhood all he wants if he can hit the trifecta

   Wait, we are giving Michael Bay credit for putting hot chicks in movies? What the fuck?

   Until he puts in hot chicks that get naked for know apparent reason, I think we can agree that he fucking blows.

   Now, if Cheetara shows nipple, he gets the BC Oscar as far as I am concerned.

10. Doperbo said:

    April 15th, 2009 at 12:07 pm

    Thanks Sailor, Minnesota.

    The Bruch Vilanch pick is inspired Steve. He’s going on the list

11. intellectual type said:

    April 15th, 2009 at 12:23 pm

12. Kevin Miller said:

    April 15th, 2009 at 6:51 pm

    I’m probably missing the depth of sarcasm or something, but we are all aware that the Thundercats thing is an Onion article, and therefore fake, right?

13. intellectual type said:

    April 15th, 2009 at 7:07 pm

    “It was announced on June 5, 2007, that Warner Brothers is making a CGI-animated feature film of ThunderCats, based on a script written by Paul Sopocy. In October 2007, Variety magazine revealed that Jerry O’Flaherty, veteran video game art director, had signed on to direct. The film is being produced by Spring Creek Productions. It is set for a summer 2010 release.”

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thundercats

    Nope. Looks like it’s for real.

14. Sports Jesus said:

    April 16th, 2009 at 5:19 am

    Bruce Vilanch. Holy shit.

15. Big Satan said:

    April 16th, 2009 at 5:24 am

16. Soldier of Orange said:

    April 16th, 2009 at 11:19 am

    Worse than having your childhood stolen is having your nation’s childhood stolen, and steal our nation’s childhood is exactly what Jack L. Warner did with his production of “1776″ (1972).

    For starters, the film was directed by Peter H. Hunt. I had never heard of the guy, so I looked him up. Turns out he won a Tony for his direction of the Broadway version of “1776″. Later on, he was selected Artistic Director of the Williamstown Theatre Festival and held the post until 1995. Apparently dissatisfied with certain aesthetic aspects of the endeavor, he moved on to finer things and in 1996 was credited as 2nd Unit Director for an episode of “Baywatch.”

    Peter Stone wrote the screenplay. Stone had already demonstrated his firm grasp of the principles of historical fiction with his screenplay for “Father Goose”. Set during WWII, the film featured Cary Grant as a crusty bachelor/beachcomber marooned on a South Pacific island by the prickley, but loveable, Trevor Howard for the purpose of reporting to British naval authorities on Japanese air traffic . To induce Grant to actually make an effort, Howard hid Grant’s liquor and would reveal the hiding place of a bottle in exchange for a confirmed sighting. Things really got interesting when an interntional group of child refugees, all female, showed up under the care of Leslie Caron. The rest of the film featured a madcap battle of the sexes culmintaing in the marriage of Caron to Grant, with Howard officiating by way of radio, just as the Japanese attacked the island!

    Peter Sherman wrote the words and lyrics for for the musical numbers which appeared in “1776″. Sherman was a high school history teacher turned pop songwriter–just the man for the job. His earlier work included the song “Dungaree Doll”, written for Eddie Fisher.

    The cast included Ken Howard (the White Shadow) as Thomas Jefferson and Howard Da Silva as Benjamin Franklin. Da Silva was blacklisted during the 1950’s for his refusal to cooperate with HUAC. HUAC’s suspicions were probably aroused by Da Silva’s portrayal of Martin Garth in 1947’s “Unconquered”. Posing as respectable merchant, Garth was in fact arming the Indians and helping to foment Pontiac’s rebellion. (In an inspired bit of casting, Boris Karloff was chosen to portray the cruel and treacherous Seneca Chief, Guyasuta). After his rehabilitation, Da Silva portrayed the sadistic warden of a Louisiana Bayou prison compound in “Nevada Smith”. I can picture him getting into character by imagining himself flogging kulaks in a Stalinist gulag. In a comical bit of type casting, he portrayed Khruschev in a made for television movie which dealt with the Cuban Missile Crisis.

    All of which is to say that if you haven’t seen the film, you can now imagine the finished product.

    To wash away the bitter taste of this insult to our nation’s conception and the men who fathered it, I propose that a new film be made with the time frame expanded in order to include even more drama and a wider cast of characters. Just imgine the trailer……………

    What do you get when you combine the talents of songwriter Andrew Lloyd Webber with the adapted lyrics of T. S. Elliot? The musical rebirth of the swingingest nation ever conceived in liberty, “1770 to 1781″. Add in the direction and script of David Mamet along with cameo appearances by some of today’s hottest political stars and you’ve got a blockbuster for the ages.
    See Jerry Seinfeld, as Thomas Jefferson, struggle with the wording of the Declaration of Independence: (Cut to movie clip.) “Quartering troops, what’s that all about? I guess that means we’ll have to tip the bloody lobsterbacks 25 cents every time they bugger our daughters!”

    Watch Danny DeVito as he becomes Benjamin Franklin! (Cut to movie clip). “Gentlemen, we must hang together or we will assuredly hang seperately! So how’re they hangin’?”.

    Thrill to the drama of George Washington, portrayed by Al Pacino, as he dresses down General Charles Lee, played in a brilliant cameo by Bill Clinton. (Cut to movie clip). “You stupid fucking cunt. I’m talking to you shithead. Where did you learn your trade. A child would have known–you fairy. You never retreat after attacking an exposed flank when reserves are rushing to your support. Your job is to help us, not to fuck us up! Oooh, I’m gonna to have your job for this, cocksucker. I’m going to the Second Continental Congress. I’m going to Lemkin!”

    Alec Baldwin portrays the indefatigable General von Steuben as he drills the weary troops at Valley Forge. (Cut to movie clip). “You call yourself a soldier, you son of bitch?”

    Aaron Burr (portrayed by Newt Gingrich): ” We don’t have to stand
    here and listen to this shit.”

    von Steuben: “You certainly don’t, you son of bitch, because the
    good news is that you’re all court-martialed. And you’ve got
    just one week to earn back your jobs. First prize, you get to
    be a non-com in the Continental Army. Second prize, a private’s
    uniform. Third prize, we line you up against a wall and shoot
    you. You kow what it takes to be a continental? That’s right.
    You’ve got to be able to throw ‘em over your shoulder.”

    Add in a delightful cameo by the Reverend Jeremiah Wright as Crispus Attucks, and you have a recipe for high historical merriment. (Cut to movie clip). “Not God save the king. God damn the king because England’s chickens are coming home—- to roost.”

    The makers of this film defy any member of the audience to remain seated during the cllimax to this film, a daring swordfight between General Alexander Hamilton (here portrayed by Jim Carrey) and the animated figure of The General Marquess Cornholio. One critic called it the most perfectly synchronized real life/animated character sequence since Gene Kelly danced with Jerry the Mouse.

    And don’t forget the musical excitement! (Cut to clip of continental army singing and dancing at their encampment at Valley Forge).

    “Can you ride like Revere did to places far distant?
    Familiar with flintlock, with saber, and shell?
    Were you Belicheck’s friend? Maybe Cromwell’s assistant?
    Have you been a homunculus writhing in helll?

    “Bellicose songs for Bellicose pats
    Bellicose songs for Bellicose pats
    Bellicose songs for Bellicose pats
    Belllicose songs for Bellicose pats

    “We can shoot off a squirrel’s nose that sits in a tree.
    We can wait to see eye whites before we loose fire.
    We can hide behind walls. We can weather a freeze.
    We can live off raw possum. We will never retire.

    “Bellicosse man with bellicose do
    Bellicose man with bellicose do
    Bellicose man with bellicose do
    Bellicose man with bellicose do.”

    (Cut to clip of the Second Continental Congress singing and dancing).

    “Do your balls hang low?
    Can you swing ‘em to and fro?
    Can you tie ‘em in a knot?
    Can you tie ‘em in a bow?
    Can you throw ‘em over your shoulder
    Like a continental soldier?
    Do your balls hang low?”

    So drop whatever you’re doing, pick up your musket and come to the most riotous, rollicking history lesson you’ll ever see. There’s not a minuteman to lose!

    “1770 to 1781″ coming soon to theater near you……………

    Just a thought.

    I hope the spacing of the pagagraphs comes out right after the editing. It’s right in the composition box.

17. privacy sign, please said:

    April 21st, 2009 at 12:59 pm

    I’m sorry we had to delete some comments because we don’t want any kind of legal trouble(snicker).

18. Hacksaw Jim Dugan said:

    April 28th, 2009 at 11:58 am

    Love the cartoon discussion. What happened to when we could turn on Mid-South Championship Wrestling, shatter Dad’s Jim Beam decanter by doing a back-flip off of the sofa, and then escape the house, inevitable punishment, and start a neighborhood B.B. gun war because of all of the pent-up testosterone coursing through our 11 year old brains? Good times.

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