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Posted by Minnesotahorn on April 10th, 2009 under Uncategorized
So these men worked constantly and drank heavily and philandered freely and played practical jokes and challenged each other to fantastic, frivolous competitions (John Glenn, the ‘Clean Marine’ was the exception to most of this behavior). Nearly as important to them as their place in the flight line was the outcome of their drunken corvette races which they wryly labeled ‘proficiency tests’. All this they brought with them to the infant space program and the early astronaut office was something like the Delta Tau Chi house except with members who’d been to two dozen funerals. Their ground control counterparts, while lacking the macabre background and its consequent hooliganism, were hardly the reclusive pencil necks of stereotype. These guys were brash, outspoken and not without their own wicked sense of humor. And young. The average age of a mission controller during the Mercury, Gemini and Apollo programs was 28.

A fierce competition ensues over who can make the best dick joke.
The Mercury Astronauts would go on to various levels of notoriety and success, the most notable being John Glenn’s long political career which he embarked on soon after his historic three orbit flight. Al Shepard became the first American in space on his Freedom 7 mission although it was something of a study in anticlimax as Yuri Gagarin had become the first man in space two weeks before and Shepard’s flight could not even achieve orbit (Khruschev mocked it as a puddle jump). He would later command Apollo 14 and be forever immortalized as the first Moon golfer. Gus Grissom’s star crossed space career started with the sinking of his Liberty Bell 7 capsule during recovery. In one of life’s sicker ironies this would lead he and a review board to agree that explosive bolt hatches be scrapped from spacecraft design and when a fire broke out inside his Apollo 1 capsule during launch pad tests, he and astronauts Bud White and Roger Chaffee had no chance of escape. Deke Slayton would fall victim to that constant adversary of all military pilots, the flight surgeon. Grounded by a heart condition prior to his Project Mercury flight, he’d later be restored to flight status by an experimental surgery and command an Apollo Applications mission, rendezvousing an Apollo Command Module with a Russian Soyuz.

Yay Detente!
Perhaps one of the greatest achievements of the Mercury Seven was training the ‘New Nine’ and ‘Next Nineteen’ classes that followed them and provided the backbone for the iconic Apollo Program. These new astronauts were every bit the accomplished pilots and irascible hell raisers of their predecessors but also carried degrees in aerospace engineering and orbital mechanics. Obviously these would include the world famous Armstrong and Aldrin but also the light hearted Jim Lovell, first Longhorn on the Moon Al Bean and the hilarious Pete Conrad, first man to unwittingly carry pornography to another celestial body.
Today only Glenn and Carpenter remain of the Original Seven (their moniker, intended to differentiate themselves from the ‘New Nine’; always a hierarchy) and when their successors aren’t making news through tragedy it’s through absurdity. Who can forget the cross-country-driving diaper-wearing Lisa Nowak and her ill advised abduction attempt of her rival? The only redeeming quality of the entire kerfuffle is the revelation that the object of her obsession is a real life Zapp Branigan.

Welcome to my humble chamber or, as I call it, "The Lovenasium".
Part of the problem is the mundaneness of today’s space goals. Let’s face it, no kid’s putting up a poster of the International Space Station on his door. Still, there’s hope for the immediate future of space exploration. Sometime this year SpaceX is likely to become the first private organization to place a habitable craft in orbit, a number of companies are honing space hotel plans and the Orion Program is set to come online in 2015, perhaps regaining some of the magic of those programs of first generational space flight.
Needless to say, I’ve become a space geek. If great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events and small minds discuss people I readily admit to falling squarely in the latter category as it was the stories of the people who tamed this unforgiving frontier that drew me in. I can’t help but be fascinated by this group of hard drinking, foul mouthed, hyper competitive overachievers that through bravery, tireless work, intrepidity, a limitless budget and a little help from some Nazi scientists, conquered the stars.
Emmett Fitzhume said:
April 10th, 2009 at 6:59 am
Great post, I always like reading up on the old guard of the astronaut corp. While it’s true that these guys were badasses, though, NASA made every effort to depict them as wholesome and clean-cut; I may be mistaken, but I think Jack Swaggart (Apollo 13) was the first unmarried one of the bunch. Nevertheless, I don’t think there is any doubt that what made these guys special was their innate desire to push the envelop in every area of their lives.
This is why – aside from tragedies in the past couple of decades and the aimlessness of space exploration – I think another factor that contributes to peoples’ declining interest is the evolution of astronauts (and test pilots more generally) from “kick the tire, light the fire” hellraisers to drone-like technocrats of the highest order. As the technology advanced, both NASA and the services have been less and less willing to entrust their hardware to people exhibiting any kind of personality at all. Hunter Thompson wrote a piece about this in 1969 called something like “Those Daring Young Men in Their Flying Machines Ain’t What They Used To Be.”
Astronauts who are human – in every sense of the word – help people identify space exploration as a human endeavor, rather than button-pushing for the sake of button-pushing.
BatesHorn said:
April 10th, 2009 at 7:12 am
It is sad how far NASA has fallen. I remember desperately wanting to be an astronaut as a child. Then Challenger exploded my 7th grade year and everything began to disintegrate. My kids aren’t even cognizant that the space program really even exists anymore. They want to biologists to save the environment.
To see a truly surreal mixture of hilarity and appalling sadness is to watch the House Science Committee yet again haul some NASA functionary up to explain whatever recent NASA fuck up is in the news: Be it astronauts in diapers or our basic inability to get a $300 million climate satellite into orbit rather than the pacific ocean.
HenryJames said:
April 10th, 2009 at 7:28 am
<embed id=”VideoPlayback” src=”http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docid=1667605413427828064&hl=en&fs=true
uthookem said:
April 10th, 2009 at 8:07 am
Well, as an engineer on the Constellation Program, I am somewhat of an authority on the space program (hah! at least here on BC). Sadly, I’m sure most folks don’t even know what the Constellation Program is or what it is supposed to do over the next thirty years.
I grew up in Houston, yet I never dreamed of working with or on a NASA project (hell, I was also five when the Challenger exploded and I wanted to be a Houston Astro…topping out at 5′ 8″ cured that delusion of grandeur). After living in CA for six years, the chance to come home materialized with an opportunity to work on this project for NASA.
As I become more familiar with NASA, there are many things that need to change, and many things that simply cannot be done in the private sector. I hope SpaceX does great, but the first person they kill will essentially kill their presence. Constellation will hopefully be flying later this summer with our first flight test (pointy end up, please God), and then bring folks back to ISS in 2015, and back to the Moon in 2020.
Right now we have budget, schedule, and technical constraints. If we can get it together and get the support we need, maybe we can get another generation pumped up about space. It also wouldn’t hurt if we could find an economic reason to go to space, be it He3 or enough platinum to make eleventy bajillion fuel cells here on Earth.
And, the one thing that gets me excited about Space is the fact that eventually we will shithole the planet we currently occupy. I’m sure a lot of folks made fun of the early explorers and considered it a waste of money back in the early parts of the last millenium as well.
Also, sobering fact: the next person to walk on the moon is now in elementary school.
Hook ‘em!
uthookem said:
April 10th, 2009 at 8:17 am
Also, thanks for the pub MH.
In a world where any news is good news, the space program needs more news. The Colbert naming of the ISS node, for instance.
Minnesotahorn said:
April 10th, 2009 at 11:14 am
Thanks Emmett and you are correct about Swaggart. It’s obvious that I also lament the passing of the colorful astronauts but I understand NASA’s dilemma. Still, it’s interesting. Has one of the themes of The Right Stuff reversed itself? No Buck Rogers, no bucks?
uthookem thanks so much for your input and the correction on the name of the program (some space geek I am). It’s my understanding that SpaceX is working very closely with NASA and that the Dragon may well be vehicle that NASA uses to bridge the gap between the Shuttles’ retirement(s) and the beginning of Constellation.
Oh and you’re welcome for the pub. So vast and rabid is my internet following that you and your coworkers will now be inundated with phone calls from congressman begging you to let them throw money your way. I’m telling you man it’s going to get scary.
uthookem said:
April 10th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
Thanks, Minnestotahorn! And I wasn’t really correcting you, Orion is the capsule (and what my wife happens to work on), Constellation is the entire program (think Apollo program, which had the Saturn rocket for instance – our rocket will be the Ares I and Ares V for heavy lift).
I already had like three calls this afternoon…but I think most of them were from Trips’ kids asking for dance lessons, and one from CTJ asking for Trips’ kids number to find out how to throw a right hook against an anti-Simms fan.
Hook ‘em!
uthookem said:
April 10th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
Oh, and SpaceX’s main goal with the Falcon and the Dragon are to get to ISS, I think. Not the moon, I think.
somnium microbius said:
April 10th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
I spent October of 1962 at Fairchild AFB in Spokane, Washington, as a completely freaked-out third grader with a mother nine months’ pregnant and a dad camped out on the flight line in the cockpit of a fully armed, powered up, and thoroughly ready for business B-52. They really thought this was IT.
I remember doing the drills at school…crazy siren bullshit….getting herded into the basement. At the time, my most prized possessions were these commemorative coins featuring each of the Mercury astronauts, distributed to the schoolkids by the Air Force when the astronauts visited the base earlier in the year. The very idea of spacemen was intoxicating for an eight-year-old. I remember my old man saying that “missiles ought to have warheads, but if you can’t have warheads I guess Navy pilots and fighter assholes makes good sense.”
For some bizarre reason, I found those coins very comforting. I took them to school every day, and when everything turned out OK I remember thinking that it must have been the astronauts who changed the Russian’s minds. I don’t know why I thought this. Maybe it was because to my mind, the only thing that B-52’s did was bring king crab or bullwhips or English gin, depending on where the wing went. Maybe it was because I thought the Russians would never expect spacemen.
Anyways, thanks for the opportunity to reminisce.
Minnesotahorn said:
April 11th, 2009 at 6:18 am
“Oh, and SpaceX’s main goal with the Falcon and the Dragon are to get to ISS, I think. Not the moon, I think.”
Yeah, Dragon’s launch vehicle is the ‘medium lift’ Falcon 9 and has no stage capable of trans lunar injection, but then only one creation in the history of man has.
That’s fantastic that your wife works on the Orion capsule program. Do you know if they’ve decided to go with ocean landings (splashdowns!)and recovery as opposed to their initial plans for airbag landings? Also is it okay if I ask what part of Constellation you are working on?
somnium thanks for reminiscing out loud. I’m completely intrigued by the entire era and love hearing first hand accounts and yours is excellent. I’m assuming the Navy pilots/fighter assholes comment was light hearted service rivalry derision as he must have been an Air Force man himself.
DrJHorn said:
April 12th, 2009 at 1:09 am
MH,
I recall listening to Buzz Aldrin at a conference several years ago in which he detailed his mid-life bouts with depression and alcoholism. Flying scores of missions in the Korean War, getting a PhD from MIT, walking on the moon before the age of 40 – and then suddenly losing the structure and focused intensity on the next big thing – came at a price for him. Fortunately, he got it turned around. Quite a human interest story.
Great read. Glad to see you as a regular on BC, as I consistently enjoy your stuff.
Minnesotahorn said:
April 12th, 2009 at 6:37 am
Thanks Doc and that means quite a bit as I absolutely love the Lonely Longhorn series and anxiously await the next offering whether it’s about Dehli or East Cleveland.
I’ve read a bit about Aldrin in Chaikin’s “Man on the Moon” but it largely focuses on his life up to and including Apollo. I’ll have to check into a book by or specifically about him as that’s a story I’d love to explore.
uthookem said:
April 12th, 2009 at 7:24 am
Hey MH, the current plan is back to water recovery, which is a tough trade between extra weight for the land landing system and the cost associated with water recovery (the Navy doesn’t do that for free anymore). In the end, the increase in weight won the battle.
I do program level ops and test integration, specifically in the flight test office. Much more glamourous than it sounds, but will be very exciting when we start lighting the tail end!
Hook ‘em!
Minnesotahorn said:
April 12th, 2009 at 8:12 am
Huh. Yeah I know those recorvery fleets can’t come cheap but dollar per ounce cost of placing stuff in (and later out of) orbit is so mind blowing that I understand making the switch.
Thanks again for chiming in. As Constellation, Dragon and the other stuff develop I’ll post updates and I hope you’ll lend us your insight again.
uthookem said:
April 13th, 2009 at 6:41 am
I ran across this blog posting from Jeff Hanley, the Constellation Program Manager. It gives a pretty good overview of where we stand:
http://wiki.nasa.gov/cm/blog/Constellation/posts/post_1239223292981.html#comments
CloseToJumping said:
April 13th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
I enjoyed this write-up. I read a bunch and “The Right Stuff” has been on my list for a long time. I know very little about all things NASA, which is a shame, given that I grew up in Pasadena. Dena is about 5 minutes from NASA and basically the blue collar backyard of Clear Lake at this point.
I was in 4th grade when Challenger blew up. I remember many parts of that day vividly still. I remember the explosion at the turn of this century almost as vividly. I think of very little else about the current program than those two things, however.
I listen to the Kennedy “Rice” speech on a regular basis. I listen to it on my itunes, much as I frequently read “If” by Kipling. For whatever reason, I think they are two of the more moving motivators for whatever I am trying to accomplish at any given time than anything else I have encountered. That Rice speech is special and I always think about what it must have been like for everyone involved before and after that for the space program. Counting the costs, questioning the sanity, etc., and still moving forward and knowing not everyone would be there at the end is always an admirable thing to me. I don’t feel like there is enough of it at this point, at least in this country. Or, enough things to be worth that kind of sacrifice and effort. It scares me a little bit.
Minnesotahorn said:
April 14th, 2009 at 5:41 am
uthookem thanks for that link. I’ll definitely be checking in there regularly.
CTJ that’s a great way to verbalize everything I love about the early space program. Many extraordinary people dedicated their entire beings to this endeavor and that thrills me. The only other place you normally see such dedication is war making. I don’t think one needs to be a pacifist eunuch to find that unfortunate.
That speech is indeed terrific. There’s a new program on the History Channel that I watched this week called “JFK: A Presidency Revealed” and it struck me that Kennedy is really the Tim Tebow of Presidents: the nauseating level of gushing hyperbole that surrounds him tends to make one forget that he actually was very good.
I feel safe in saying that you’ll love “The Right Stuff” when you get around to it. It really is a superb telling of a fascinating story and group of people. Every couple of years I read it again.
Ed T said:
April 15th, 2009 at 7:14 am
Thank you, MinnHorn. I was but a wee lad of 9 when the NASA program started up. Living in the greater Houston area made it so much more exciting of course. The Houston Post, Houston Chron, and Houston Press newspapers were full of astronaut stories.
It was fascinating for a barefoot bumpkin to consider flying off into the stars.
I’ve always thought there were 2 great jobs in the employment universe– Supreme Court Justice and Astronaut. As it turned out, I only lacked the physical and mental skills necessary for both positions… drat the luck. I had to settle for great looks and sense of humor.
By the way…
The LBJ library is hosting an “Apollo 8 Reunion” on Thursday April 23. Panel discussion with Frank Borman, James Lovell, and William Anders. Admission is free. tickets required
details: http://www.lbjlib.utexas.edu
The current exhibit at the library : To the Moon: The American Space Program in the 1960’s
trivia: what did Jackie Gleason have to do with the Apollo program?
Minnesotahorn said:
April 15th, 2009 at 7:59 am
Ed the only connection I can think of is the constant threats of serious physical violence on his wife (which were hilarious by the way). Was there something else?
Thanks for that link. I’m all over it.
The Dude said:
April 15th, 2009 at 8:00 am
NY Times Op-ed piece on the subject. Nothing personal to add on the topic but it is timely (appeared yesterday):
Minnesotahorn said:
April 15th, 2009 at 8:37 am
I appreciate the link Dude and while I agree with his premise that experiencing other worlds through technological intermediaries is the more viable short term solution and one we should indeed devote more resources to, I laugh mockingly at Shostak’s declarative pronouncements of what we will and won’t be able to do “in any century soon”. Exactly two centuries ago man had just built the first steam locomotive, the lone means of self propelled travel and its top speed was 20 miles per hour. Knowingly proclaiming the limits of our technology hundreds of years from now requires a special kind of oblivious narcissist. Which I suppose is just another a synonym for New York Times Op-Ed writer.
Thayer Evans said:
April 15th, 2009 at 11:38 am
Minny – Shhhh! Don’t ruin this gig for me brah! You keep talking and you might wake an editor, Broosevelt. The world’s technology will advance only as far as Sam Bradford and Blake Griffin can take it. Story to run tomorrow, homey!
Scipio Tex said:
April 15th, 2009 at 6:15 pm
I read this thread and the responses with a lot of interest. I think closetojumping captures my sentiments on this.
What do all of you know about SETI? And are you for it?
CloseToJumping said:
April 15th, 2009 at 9:06 pm
I’m not one of the space freaks, but I’ll comment.
I’ve always enjoyed the potential of things like SETI. One of my favorite movie scenes is the scene in “Contact” where Jodie Foster is sitting on her car near the dish array in New Mexico and hears the signal. Yeah, I know “Contact” is not considered a good movie, blah, blah. I liked it. Anyway, one of things I am fascinated by with SETI is how we’d react if we picked up something viable as a message or signal.
BTW, one of my business partners went to school with Foster at Yale. I’ve met a friend of his that the Yalie dbags I’ve met through my coworker consider to be the guy that got the closest out of any male in history to scoring with Foster. The stories are pretty amusing. Wither John Hinckley, Jr.?
ed t said:
April 16th, 2009 at 11:08 am
yes, MInnH– Ralph Cramdon was always threatening his wife with a waving fist and a shout of, “To the moon, Alice!”
BatesHorn said:
April 16th, 2009 at 11:18 am
Maybe.
I work with the sciences community and dealing with NASA can be really frustrating at times. Getting them to remember they have a science mission in addition to putting things in space is challenging. Agencies like NSF and NOAA rely very heavily on NASA doing it’s job competently, which it doesn’t always do. And that’s not NASA fault, but the fault of both President’s and Congress, who give NASA conflicting missions and inadequete resources.
The next time some guy starts yelling about teabagging, think about programs like NASA that inspire. That’s who suffers when budgets get cut.
Scipio Tex said:
April 16th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
CloseToJumping:
I’m for space exploration in our ‘hood, but I actually don’t believe SETI is a very good idea. The idea of coming in to contact with a benevolent advanced civilization certainly defies our experience here on earth. Generally speaking, advanced cultures run roughshod over more primitive ones whenever they come into contact.
Ha, this is truly the offseason.
Minnesotahorn said:
April 16th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
That’s a good point Scipio but doesn’t the alternative kinda feel like intentional ignorance and isolation? Like Ming China maybe? Of course this is almost certainly just academic but who gives a shit.
Scipio Tex said:
April 16th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
I will poll the Aztecs, Incas, Zulus, Iroquis, Hmong, & Aborigines and get back to you.
Minnesotahorn said:
April 16th, 2009 at 5:18 pm
Well, I’m stipulating the point that the more advanced civilisation’s going to date rape the other but I’m talking about gut feeling. Intentional ignorance bothers me on an almost instinctual level. Despite your very valid point I’m guessing you’re the same way.
Also what leads you to believe any intelligent life we discover would necesarily be more advanced than we are? We’re basically looking for radio waves right? What if we find a bunch of wookies that we could make our butlers or something?
BatesHorn said:
April 17th, 2009 at 6:12 am
While I appreciate the whole steam engine anology, taming Neuton’s laws is one thing, dealing with the Special Relativity, especially the whole mass/speed of light thing, is a COMPELETELY different story.
At this point, I’d like to give a shout out to James Clerk Maxwell, for giving Einstein the stuff he needed to come up with General Relativity.
One of the things NASA does exceptionally well is unmanned explorarion of our own Solar System.