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In the ‘I should no longer be surprised by the ways DeLoss Dodds can make money but somehow still am. Surprised.’ category, UT will be selling off the field after the scrimmage next week.
They've got to feed the monkey, I mean uh... hasn't that ever occurred to you, man? Sir?
Fans can buy a 12-inch by 12-inch square of grass for $20. There will be 57,600 available for purchase, and the sod squares will be distributed starting an hour after the scrimmage concludes. Fans specifically requesting the Longhorn thingy in the center will be tased if they become unruly.
I kid. That’s actually cheaper than you can buy grass on South Congress, and it’s a great idea for several reasons.
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1. I quickly did the math and it adds up to eleventy billion dollars.
2. I’m putting part of the endzone in my bedroom for a more authentic celebration dance.
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Activity
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Ag_in_TX commented on the blog post Post-Mortem: Texas Tech Red Raiders ago
How did this post make you not seem like an idiot?
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Trips Right commented on the blog post Thoughts on the win in Austin ago
Great write up. I’ll be rooting for you to keep Calipari on the schnide.
That typed, I envy your program and hate you for it. fuckers
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Blake Stansbery commented on the blog post Recruiting the Trenches ago
I like my wine in a box…. I like my wine in a box GIIIRL
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skymonkeyhorn commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Kansas: Post-Mortem 31 seconds ago
Ground hog,
“This team is well coached. Watching Penders teams play was like going down to Harlem to watch pick up basketball. ”
Just one example of a well coached defensive team. A 22 point run KU and as Self said that does not happen everyday. This is not a well coached team.I said that Penders
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texasengr commented on the blog post 2011 Texas Football Recruiting 3 minutes ago
The General,
I think the WR screen you were looking for could be seen at ~1:55. However, this was an effective play, so we really don’t know how he will take the blow from an unblocked defender 4 yards behind the line of scrimmage.
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Sailor Ripley commented on the blog post Did Rick Barnes use a plant last night to distract KU players? 4 minutes ago
We commented on the lass during telecast. Thanks for, getting this up, so to speak.
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skymonkeyhorn commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Kansas: Post-Mortem 11 minutes ago
EP, careful those word will get you a rebuke from Peter Pan. Those words should not be heard until March if we are disappointed by this talented team. Lets wait until the season is a complete train wreck then lets file a legal brief that is in lawyeris to explain what a fuck up season
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Mister Mike commented on the blog post Recruiting the Trenches 12 minutes ago
Sailor’s sponsoring it? Holy shit…that likely means goats, togas, and lots of cheap wine.
Welcome to the network!
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Trips Right commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Kansas: Post-Mortem 15 minutes ago
Bates, thanks man. That means a lot.
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skymonkeyhorn commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Kansas: Post-Mortem 41 minutes ago
Yeah your right, penders teams were at least fun to watch play. Barnes offense is pretty bad not as bad as Tom’s but its all relative to who is watching the worst offense in Texas history.
“His teams did not play D, did not box out, and were generally unsound in the fundamentals of the game.”
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czarcw commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Kansas: Post-Mortem 42 minutes ago
Our hoops team is the basketball version of Major League.
Jake Taylor = Damion James
Pedro Cerrano = Dexter Pittman
Willie Mays Hays = Avery Bradley
Roger Dorn = Justin Mason
Isuro Tanaka (Major League II) = Dogus Balbay
Rube Baker (Major Leauge II) = Jordan HamiltonIf Craig Way starts drinking whiskey during the broadcasts, it’ll complete the analogy.
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Farmer Ted commented on the blog post Recruiting the Trenches 44 minutes ago
Nice job with this – and welcome to the network, on behalf of Better Off Red. See you at the Fantake retreat in Vegas that Sailor Ripley is sponsoring this summer!
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J Rog commented on the blog post Game Day: Spurs vs. Lakers Open Thread 49 minutes ago
Fell apart in the fourth quarter again. Can’t give up 28 points to close out a game. Spurs, Longhorns….heartache once again.
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Farmer Ted commented on the blog post Thoughts on the win in Austin 52 minutes ago
Nice job Hiphop. Very nice to win what is probably the toughest game on the schedule handily, although the Hawks obviously caught UT at a good time.
The Morningstar FT was terrible and hilarious. He said the ball was wet, which clearly means Texas was cheating somehow. Would the second chance off balance leaner
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Nickel Rover commented on the blog post Another night, another would-be hero 52 minutes ago
I don’t think McCoy played anywhere near the level of Suh and the numbers make it clear that he did not. Suh had twice as many tackles (77-31), sacks (11-5) and nearly tackles for loss (22-14.5). Suh also broke up 10 passes, if he gets stonewalled on the rush he doesn’t allow it to take
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skymonkeyhorn commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Kansas: Post-Mortem 53 minutes ago
We are bound to the past no matter how great the past is, we are bound to fail if we do not look to the future.
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J Rog wrote a new blog post: Missed Opportunities: Spurs vs. Lakers Recap 59 minutes ago
Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot. This game was served up on a silver platter for the Spurs and they managed to fumble it like a Minnesota Viking in the playoffs.
I think perhaps Will Ferrell can describe my emotions on the current state of the Spurs season better than I.
The Spurs hung around for most of the
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slugfest commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Kansas: Post-Mortem 1 hour, 2 minutes ago
EP, I get your point, but I don’t think the fact that Texas hasn’t won a tourney came as an underdog doesn’t support it. Teams are favored because they are better. The odds that they win are greater than those who are not favored. It’s not like Texas goes into games with a secret weapon
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Mister Mike commented on the blog post Did Rick Barnes use a plant last night to distract KU players? 1 hour, 6 minutes ago
I think KU should demand an immediate investigation. Find someone to get to the bottom of this.
I volunteer myself.
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Trips Right commented on the blog post Top 8 Teams in College Hoops 1 hour, 10 minutes ago
Georgetown?
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RRR commented on the blog post Thoughts on the win in Austin 1 hour, 10 minutes ago
Good write up, hiphop. I love the versatitility of the Morris twins on defense. Xavier Henry is probably the key to a big run in the tournament. If he starts hitting open looks, the inside game will really open up. Post to post passing is fun to watch.
It’s pretty nice when
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Trips Right commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Kansas: Post-Mortem 1 hour, 13 minutes ago
PB, just talking. I’m not ready to replace him but something has to change. The comment about playing 3 on 5 three quarters into the season is just astoundingly bad.
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Blake Stansbery commented on the blog post Petrino Building Fence Around Arkansas 1 hour, 23 minutes ago
Here is more info on Frazier. He is such a great player, and Arkansas needs to land him in a big way.
http://www.kiehlfrazier15.com/Home.html
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow1mOrMQXYw
These Highlights are from his Sophomore year, and he had a bigger and better 2009. OH MY!
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Blake Stansbery commented on the blog post Petrino Building Fence Around Arkansas 1 hour, 23 minutes ago
Here is more info on Frazier. He is such a great player, and Arkansas needs to land him in a big way.
http://www.kiehlfrazier15.com/Home.html
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow1mOrMQXYw
These Highlights are from his Sophomore year, and he had a bigger and better 2009. OH MY!
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Blake Stansbery commented on the blog post Petrino Building Fence Around Arkansas 1 hour, 23 minutes ago
Here is more info on Frazier. He is such a great player, and Arkansas needs to land him in a big way.
http://www.kiehlfrazier15.com/Home.html
These Highlights are from his Sophomore year, and he had a bigger and better 2009. OH MY!
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Trips Right commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Kansas: Post-Mortem 1 hour, 25 minutes ago
It takes more time…unless you’re a Kentucky fan.
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RRR commented on the blog post Mid-Season Thoughts and OU Pre-Game 1 hour, 26 minutes ago
Thanks Trips. I’m hoping for lots of Willie Warren trying to be Sheron Collins. TMG in sync is the scariest thing to face in Norman. That or we get beat up on the boards which seems to be recurring theme of Texas Tech road games.
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slugfest commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Kansas: Post-Mortem 1 hour, 27 minutes ago
I don’t think it’s a case of RB not being able to coach, or doing a poor job of coaching. If you read the entirety of Katz’ blog post, he clearly sounds like a coaching searching for answers — answers that come in the form of players contributing, doing what they are coached to do.
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Blake Stansbery commented on the blog post John Pelphrey’s Unconventional Approach 1 hour, 35 minutes ago
I agree that an NIT bid would be acceptable this year, but that if the Razorbacks can get to 20 wins they will have a very good chance at the NCAA Tourney.
Our RPI is bad, and we have no signature wins.
However, we have 8 games left on the SEC regular season schedule. If we
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Blake Stansbery commented on the blog post John Pelphrey’s Unconventional Approach 1 hour, 35 minutes ago
I agree that an NIT bid would be acceptable this year, but that if the Razorbacks can get to 20 wins they will have a very good chance at the NCAA Tourney.
Our RPI is bad, and we have no signature wins.
However, we have 8 games left on the SEC regular season schedule. If we
HenryJames said:
March 27th, 2009 at 9:39 am
“I’m putting part of the endzone in my bedroom for a more authentic celebration dance.”
Along with all the penalty flags your wife has thrown at you for false starts.
hot stove steve said:
March 27th, 2009 at 9:49 am
Not to mention illegal block from behind
Facebook User said:
March 27th, 2009 at 9:53 am
Here we go…
BatesHorn said:
March 27th, 2009 at 9:58 am
Delay of Game?
uthookem said:
March 27th, 2009 at 9:59 am
Thank you, Barking Carnival…I feel so much more at home here than at all of those ‘other’ Longhorn sites.
Do you think we can get Billy Mays as a pitch man for BC?
Hook ‘em!
AeroHorn said:
March 27th, 2009 at 10:02 am
What does one do with the grass? Won’t it die? Does one have to buy a pot and keep watering it, and clipping (”mowing”) it? I fail to see the longivity in this momento.
The General said:
March 27th, 2009 at 10:04 am
It’s not grass. It’s Prescription Athletic Turf.
That means you can smoke it.
LonghornScott said:
March 27th, 2009 at 10:05 am
Does he ever stuff the runs by blowing them up with backside penetration?
Don’t fight it, Sailor. It’s best to just let it go until it’s worn out… like an un-snipped spaniel.
AeroHorn said:
March 27th, 2009 at 10:10 am
Aah! I see. After seeing chunks of it coming off during the game, I thought it was the real stuff.
Parlin Hall said:
March 27th, 2009 at 10:11 am
“Do you think we can get Billy Mays as a pitch man for BC?”
My vote is for Vince from the ShamWow commercials.
He has the same gravitas we admire in Scipio’s posts.
Matthew Mcconaughey said:
March 27th, 2009 at 10:15 am
Sorry, Gents. I’m buying the whole lot, and a hookah the size of the Eiffel Tower.
BatesHorn said:
March 27th, 2009 at 10:16 am
“This is a hybrid. This is a cross, ah, of Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff.”
I can’t believe I’m first with this qoute.
Facebook User said:
March 27th, 2009 at 10:22 am
Vasherized said:
March 27th, 2009 at 10:22 am
I just piggyback off Sailor Ripley’s prescription from the state of California.
Ohio State - Miami Pass Interference Call said:
March 27th, 2009 at 10:23 am
“What does one do with the grass?… I fail to see the longivity in this momento.”
I’m laying a patch down in the doorway of my office and asking my Aggie Coworker to respectfully stay off it.
Facebook User said:
March 27th, 2009 at 10:28 am
The General said:
March 27th, 2009 at 10:34 am
I can’t believe I’m first with this qoute.
Sometimes it is more fun to sit back and see how long it takes.
whoopspat said:
March 27th, 2009 at 10:36 am
There’s a market for everything.
Chooky said:
March 27th, 2009 at 10:46 am
I’m buying one square and I’m going to wear it like a bandana. Knot in the front, you know, Tupac style.
Nordberg said:
March 27th, 2009 at 10:50 am
I’m going to paint yard lines, hash marks, etc. on mine, and fashion little tiny goal posts, and decorate it with little mini Vince Young action figures. It’s going to be nice and disturbing.
HenryJames said:
March 27th, 2009 at 11:06 am
I’m going to use mine to fashion my dog into a chia pet.
Bob Stoops said:
March 27th, 2009 at 11:51 am
I’m going to extract DNA samples from mine and clone Texas football players because there’s no fucking way I’m going to get many more blue chip Texas boys after this year.
BrickHorn said:
March 27th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
What is it with you Barkers and inaccurate Lebowski quote-picture pairings? Try this:
http://dudespaper.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/dudeinlimo2.jpg
Vasherized said:
March 27th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
I think wifey just got herself a new Merkin.
Black Scholes said:
March 27th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
Aaaand we’re done here. Lock thread.
Rick Barnes said:
March 27th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Parlin — check out your boy Vince.
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0327092sham1.html
JDLooneyII said:
March 27th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
I’m gonna wait for DeLoss’ successor to sell off pieces of Field Turf after they discover it causes cancer in lab rats.
Chooky said:
March 27th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
You know that it’s a real party when a cut of Joe Don Looney’s lineage arrives.
Brian Combs said:
March 27th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
“Yeah, that ‘Nam grass will fuck anyone up, man!”
dedfischer said:
March 27th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
This was on a RRS (a premium site), but too funny not to share:
Edward Britton did not participate in today’s practice. He was held out for academic reasons, and came onto the field with a member of the academic support staff in street clothes during team period. After approaching the huddle, he was quickly sent to the sidelines to sit in a school desk that had been sitting on the sidelines throughout practice.
After practice ended, head coach Mike Leach summoned Britton (and his desk) to the huddle.
dedfischer said:
March 27th, 2009 at 6:12 pm
Apparently, Leach made him sit in the desk on the sidelines during practice and do homework.
DeLoss Dodds said:
March 27th, 2009 at 7:21 pm
Pssst. Don’t tell anyone, but grass is a gateway drug to foundation membership.
SizzleChest said:
March 27th, 2009 at 9:05 pm
If anyone needs me to fertilize their patch, give me a holler.
Chooky said:
March 28th, 2009 at 1:36 am
I’ll be fertilizing my own patch, thank you.
Pitchin Paul said:
March 28th, 2009 at 6:15 am
The St. Louis Cardinals sold urinals from the old Busch Stadium. Maybe Dodds can develop a “toiletry line” of products to add to his outdoor offerings
Bob in Houston said:
March 28th, 2009 at 6:22 am
It works out to about $1.15 mil, in case you wonder…
The General said:
March 28th, 2009 at 8:45 am
I think the PAT cost 1 million originally. Only Deloss Dodds can make 15% on 15 year old grass.
KENDRA said:
March 28th, 2009 at 10:57 am
Dope, you are crazy, dude. You don’t care what people think!
KENDRA said:
March 28th, 2009 at 10:59 am
Are you “trying” to turn people off? I think you are.
Another Alum said:
March 28th, 2009 at 11:00 am
What about Princeton tiger sod?
Princeton Tigress said:
March 28th, 2009 at 11:10 am
Is that “Victory Dance” called “Peace & Love Incorporated” by “Information Society”? I know you always used to dance to that song back in 1991.
ponderos said:
March 28th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
The old pr0n theater on South Congress sold its chairs when it went out of business a few years back. The one I have has this strange stain that spells out “HenryJames” in cursive. Weird.
absolut said:
March 28th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
Cinema West on South Congress. Did you hear the one about the guy who always went to the XXX movies? Until Viagra and the Internets, the only way he could get it up was by popping buttered popcorn at home.
Sherm said:
March 28th, 2009 at 6:35 pm
Speaking of buttered popcorn… I did not know of this until I changed jobs and relocated about a year and a half ago, but there is a trick you can play on your friends by cutting a hole in the bottom of a popcorn bucket and inserting your “sheep pleaser” (still don’t know what the boys mean by that) through the hole and wait for your movie watching, popcorn eating pal to get the surprise of his life! Oh my, the good natured jocularity that ensues leads to much laughter, popcorn fights and a real sense of bonding. We like it so much that we’ve incorporated ‘movie night’ as a staple when we have recruits in for a visit. One must stay ahead of the pack in this fast paced, modern, recruiting world we live in. Lane Kiffen and Pete Carroll have barebacked, homoerotic, tribal chanting. I have the popcorn trick… Scoreboard me!
Sherm's Bong said:
March 28th, 2009 at 6:58 pm
You need to change my water.
Bell County Sheriff said:
March 29th, 2009 at 10:47 am
We just stopped Ramonce Taylor outside of Belton for speeding, and he had a duffel bag full of this stuff.
Keep it in the closet, red head said:
March 29th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
Doperbo has a great ass and chin. I saw you shaking your trunk with an Eli look alike at Woodys! Whats this about Doperbo being a cannibal? You like to eat roasted Barker? I don’t fly the friendly skies, northern boy.
Clarissa's back said:
March 29th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
Good thing Doperbo doesn’t sing-he sounds way too much like Stevie Nicks singing about the Lone Ranger.
I want to humanize Doperbo said:
March 30th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
Doperbo has an incredible trunk! He’s Barking Carnival”s version of JLO.You shake that rump Doperbo-and don’t you ever stop! You shake it like its 1981!
Chris said:
March 30th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
Soooo many people (and animals) love and care about you, Doperbo. More than you’ll ever, ever know. You have absolutely no idea. Just pause and smell the roses, won’t you, love?
EK said:
March 30th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
That’s right-don’t fight the love, Dope!
Yarldboro said:
March 30th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
…or they’ll lock you away in a closet in that super-billionaire Vampire Estate called the Pescatore Foundation in Luxembourg ha-ha-ha…
Nicole-Barbe Ponsardin said:
March 30th, 2009 at 10:02 pm
What the fuck is going on on this thread?
Hunter S. Thompson said:
March 30th, 2009 at 10:20 pm
Makes perfect sense to me.