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In the ‘I should no longer be surprised by the ways DeLoss Dodds can make money but somehow still am. Surprised.’ category, UT will be selling off the field after the scrimmage next week.
They've got to feed the monkey, I mean uh... hasn't that ever occurred to you, man? Sir?
Fans can buy a 12-inch by 12-inch square of grass for $20. There will be 57,600 available for purchase, and the sod squares will be distributed starting an hour after the scrimmage concludes. Fans specifically requesting the Longhorn thingy in the center will be tased if they become unruly.
I kid. That’s actually cheaper than you can buy grass on South Congress, and it’s a great idea for several reasons.
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1. I quickly did the math and it adds up to eleventy billion dollars.
2. I’m putting part of the endzone in my bedroom for a more authentic celebration dance.
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RRR wrote a new blog post: Victory in Jersey 1 hour, 23 minutes ago
Big East intimidation? Pff, whatever.
Halftime Thoughts
Except for some sloppy ball-handling from Darko, Davis, and Tairu, I couldn’t be happier with the way we’re playing. Obviously Herb Pope’s punch to Darko’s groin and subsequent ejection was the defining event. Tech went on a 13-0 run after the play, and that equals our lead at this point.
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skymonkeyhorn commented on the blog post A Wake Before The Funeral 2 hours, 8 minutes ago
When your stick is bigger then the carrot.
Now that was a title to draw your attention for you prevs that troll this site.
In all sports its a bragging point to have a bigger stick then your rival, or at least think its bigger then most.
That is one motivation tool of many -
Patrick Bateman commented on the blog post Bush Paves the Way for Henderson? 3 hours, 28 minutes ago
Raoulduke,
Don’t be a tool. I kid, I kid. Who’s said I was qualified? Last time I checked this is the internet and everyone who can type can offer an opinion. Shit, half the folks offering up opinions on this blog and most sport blogs have no clue what they’re talking
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I.M. Hipp commented on the blog post State of the Union – NU Basketball, Part 1 (or Why We Are Where We Are) 3 hours, 53 minutes ago
If NU really wants to win they need to take a page from TO’s coaching career.
1. Never let great talent leave the state, Nebraska is desolate for talent so when a good player comes around you have to land him.
2. Develop a “system” where talent can flourish and help the team.
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Raoul Duke commented on the blog post Want to plant my feet on Rampart Street… 4 hours, 46 minutes ago
I am so irritated you guys are so good yet I am rooting for you. Saw the BC/MTM guy predicted you to final four.
That would be awesome.
Sic em and shit.
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whiskey commented on the blog post Jack Swarbrick Causes Server Meltdown 4 hours, 57 minutes ago
Nate, I think your argument is pretty solid for the SEC, Big 12 and Pac 10 but not so much on the Big 10. If you look at the 2009 Sagarin strength of sked: ND-37, Ohio St-50, Iowa-41, Penn St-73. Not so sure joining the Big 10 really helps ND’s chances. With
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Raoul Duke commented on the blog post All Signs Point to March Madness Expanding to 96 Teams 5 hours, 1 minute ago
The NCAA, apparently, could fuck up a soup sandwich. Piss on Myles Brand’s greedy grave.
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Raoul Duke commented on the blog post Bush Paves the Way for Henderson? 5 hours, 6 minutes ago
Mr. Bateman – First let me say I’m not trying to be an asshole or pick a fight. This is a great column and great fun to read.
Re this:
I think Kiffin’s staff is competent enough, particularly Papa Kiffin (DC), John Baxter (a pretty good ST coach), and Todd McNair is a decent RB
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bigdukesix commented on the blog post Bush Paves the Way for Henderson? 5 hours, 53 minutes ago
Kiffin’s father is a great coach, but the rest of that staff isn’t. Orgeron and Kiffin are both good, dirty recruiters and mediocre to poor gameday coaches.
How important is that in college football? How good of a gameday coach is Mack Brown? Greg Davis?
Orgeron is actually a damn fine defensive line coach,
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Tim commented on the blog post NIT Preview – Seton Hall 5 hours, 58 minutes ago
How much longer to football season?
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Patrick Bateman commented on the blog post Bush Paves the Way for Henderson? 6 hours, 19 minutes ago
CTJ,
Always impassioned. I agree with you that his delay had to do with not being eligible to sign rather than awaiting for the smoke to settle. However, the point is not with motive but with opportunity. Maybe the kid and his family don’t know anything and just trudged along with his planned
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CloseToJumping commented on the blog post Beat the Barkers NCAA Tourney Bracket 7 hours, 11 minutes ago
I am angling for the weekend with SizzleChest. I am hoping to channel his evil in the right directions.
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Casey Heathcott commented on the blog post Want to plant my feet on Rampart Street… 7 hours, 19 minutes ago
Interesting read by a Kentucky writer: Apparently Kansas and Baylor are the only two teams with a shot at winning it all. http://www.courier-journal.com/article/20100316/COLUMNISTS01/303160023
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Mister Mike commented on the blog post State of the Union – NU Basketball, Part 1 (or Why We Are Where We Are) 7 hours, 38 minutes ago
I get what you’re saying, but honestly, it’s a cop out. Period. If the AD was to actually commit some resources into building a program, we would be competitive and probably would even give K-State a run for its money. We may never be a KU, but we sure as hell wouldn’t
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J Rog commented on the blog post Bienvenidos a Miami: Heat Preview 8 hours, 26 minutes ago
Totally agree re: RJ. I’m hesitant to shout it from the mountain tops until he does it against a contending team. So far his success has been against 2nd tier teams.
Ginobili is just incredible to watch right now. Just goes to show how hurt he really must have been last season.
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Sancho wrote a new blog post: 2010 Football Schedule Released 8 hours, 30 minutes ago
09/05/10 at Texas Tech
09/11/10 vs. UAB * Ford Stadium
09/18/10 vs. Washington State Ford Stadium
09/24/10 vs. TCU Ford Stadium
10/02/10 at Rice * Houston, Texas
10/09/10 vs. Tulsa * Ford Stadium
10/16/10 at Navy Annapolis, Md.
10/23/10 vs. Houston * Ford Stadium
10/30/10 at Tulane * New Orleans, La.
11/06/10 at UTEP * El Paso, Texas
11/20/10 vs. Marshall * Ford Stadium
11/27/10
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James commented on the blog post Things To Do While Not Watching OU in the NCAA Tourney 8 hours, 45 minutes ago
Nate, agreed on the buying players. What does the NCAA do? Oh yeah, you “vacate wins”. I vacated my bowels this morning.
I was busting your balls on Oklahoma. I have had some good times in some of the surprisingly scenic areas. Also, Maker’s is my poison and who would ever
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Burnt Orange Wookiee commented on the blog post Bienvenidos a Miami: Heat Preview 8 hours, 48 minutes ago
The emergence of RJ being what we thought he would be seems pretty big. Oh, and that Ginobili guy is playing pretty good right now. Seeing Manu be Manu always brings a smile to my face.
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Blake Stansbery wrote a new blog post: Arkansas Razorback Football’s Top Six Impact Freshman for 2010 9 hours, 15 minutes ago
The Arkansas Razorbacks’ 2010 signing class did a good job of filling areas of need and adding size, speed, and talent to Bobby Petrino’s roster.
The major recruiting services did not rank the Hogs among the top 25 recruiting classes, while the Max Emfinger and Tom Lemmings of the recruiting world did think more highly
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Ibas water bottle commented on the blog post All Signs Point to March Madness Expanding to 96 Teams 9 hours, 17 minutes ago
Somewhere in rehab Sean Sutton is pissed this didn’t happen 4 years ago.
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Kevin Berger wrote a new blog post: Bracket Analysis: The Beasts of the East 9 hours, 35 minutes ago
If the South is a region of guards, the East is a region of men. Large men, that play an old school, physical brand of basketball. Guys like Demarcus Cousins, Kevin Jones, Damion James, Trevor Booker, and Al-Farouq Aminu, put the power in power forward.
These guys rebound above the rim and
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J Rog wrote a new blog post: Reggie Miller is a Bad Man 9 hours, 55 minutes ago
If you haven’t yet, I highly recommend watching ESPN’s latest 30 for 30: Winning Time about the Indiana Pacer’sReggie Miller’s rivalry with the New York Knicks in the early 90’s. Anyone that can make Spike Lee look stupid is a friend of mine.
The things that Reggie did to John Starks in those playoff series are
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Nordberg commented on the blog post Texas finishes sweep of Iowa 10 hours, 13 minutes ago
Green and then Workman I’d imagine.
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J Rog wrote a new blog post: Bienvenidos a Miami: Heat Preview 10 hours, 20 minutes ago
If we can score, we have a chance. The Heat are a poor team in a mediocre conference this year and don’t come with a lot of fire power. The one thing they can do is play defense, holding teams to 95.2 points per game, 5th best in the NBA. Dorrell Wright returns from a
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Nate Heupel commented on the blog post Things To Do While Not Watching OU in the NCAA Tourney 10 hours, 27 minutes ago
coloradoag:
First of all, I’ve very seriously thought your proposal #9 over. See: Calipari, John. People don’t seem to care if you buy basketball players. Only if you do it blatantly (USC) or you call/text them too much.
Oklahoma (outside of Oklahoma City and Tulsa metropolitan areas) is a lot of fun if you’re
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Sailor Ripley commented on the blog post Bracket Analysis: The South is a Bear of a Bracket 10 hours, 28 minutes ago
Ha ha ha ha! It’s Joel Osteen’s world. You just live in it.
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admin commented on the blog post Bracket Analysis: The South is a Bear of a Bracket 10 hours, 28 minutes ago
Ha ha ha ha! It’s Joel Osteen’s world. You just livesin in it.
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admin commented on the blog post Bracket Analysis: The South is a Bear of a Bracket 10 hours, 28 minutes ago
Ha ha ha ha! It’s Joel Osteen’s world. You just live sin in it.
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ghostofagroundgame commented on the blog post Beat the Barkers NCAA Tourney Bracket 10 hours, 36 minutes ago
I will own that tote bag. And it will hold my porn.
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James commented on the blog post Bracket Analysis: The South is a Bear of a Bracket 10 hours, 51 minutes ago
Baylor has the horses to make it to Indy, but Scott Drew is the Mike Gundy of college hoops. He’ll find a way to blow it.
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HenryJames said:
March 27th, 2009 at 9:39 am
“I’m putting part of the endzone in my bedroom for a more authentic celebration dance.”
Along with all the penalty flags your wife has thrown at you for false starts.
hot stove steve said:
March 27th, 2009 at 9:49 am
Not to mention illegal block from behind
Facebook User said:
March 27th, 2009 at 9:53 am
Here we go…
BatesHorn said:
March 27th, 2009 at 9:58 am
Delay of Game?
uthookem said:
March 27th, 2009 at 9:59 am
Thank you, Barking Carnival…I feel so much more at home here than at all of those ‘other’ Longhorn sites.
Do you think we can get Billy Mays as a pitch man for BC?
Hook ‘em!
AeroHorn said:
March 27th, 2009 at 10:02 am
What does one do with the grass? Won’t it die? Does one have to buy a pot and keep watering it, and clipping (”mowing”) it? I fail to see the longivity in this momento.
The General said:
March 27th, 2009 at 10:04 am
It’s not grass. It’s Prescription Athletic Turf.
That means you can smoke it.
LonghornScott said:
March 27th, 2009 at 10:05 am
Does he ever stuff the runs by blowing them up with backside penetration?
Don’t fight it, Sailor. It’s best to just let it go until it’s worn out… like an un-snipped spaniel.
AeroHorn said:
March 27th, 2009 at 10:10 am
Aah! I see. After seeing chunks of it coming off during the game, I thought it was the real stuff.
Parlin Hall said:
March 27th, 2009 at 10:11 am
“Do you think we can get Billy Mays as a pitch man for BC?”
My vote is for Vince from the ShamWow commercials.
He has the same gravitas we admire in Scipio’s posts.
Matthew Mcconaughey said:
March 27th, 2009 at 10:15 am
Sorry, Gents. I’m buying the whole lot, and a hookah the size of the Eiffel Tower.
BatesHorn said:
March 27th, 2009 at 10:16 am
“This is a hybrid. This is a cross, ah, of Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff.”
I can’t believe I’m first with this qoute.
Facebook User said:
March 27th, 2009 at 10:22 am
Vasherized said:
March 27th, 2009 at 10:22 am
I just piggyback off Sailor Ripley’s prescription from the state of California.
Ohio State - Miami Pass Interference Call said:
March 27th, 2009 at 10:23 am
“What does one do with the grass?… I fail to see the longivity in this momento.”
I’m laying a patch down in the doorway of my office and asking my Aggie Coworker to respectfully stay off it.
Facebook User said:
March 27th, 2009 at 10:28 am
The General said:
March 27th, 2009 at 10:34 am
I can’t believe I’m first with this qoute.
Sometimes it is more fun to sit back and see how long it takes.
whoopspat said:
March 27th, 2009 at 10:36 am
There’s a market for everything.
Chooky said:
March 27th, 2009 at 10:46 am
I’m buying one square and I’m going to wear it like a bandana. Knot in the front, you know, Tupac style.
Nordberg said:
March 27th, 2009 at 10:50 am
I’m going to paint yard lines, hash marks, etc. on mine, and fashion little tiny goal posts, and decorate it with little mini Vince Young action figures. It’s going to be nice and disturbing.
HenryJames said:
March 27th, 2009 at 11:06 am
I’m going to use mine to fashion my dog into a chia pet.
Bob Stoops said:
March 27th, 2009 at 11:51 am
I’m going to extract DNA samples from mine and clone Texas football players because there’s no fucking way I’m going to get many more blue chip Texas boys after this year.
BrickHorn said:
March 27th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
What is it with you Barkers and inaccurate Lebowski quote-picture pairings? Try this:
http://dudespaper.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/dudeinlimo2.jpg
Vasherized said:
March 27th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
I think wifey just got herself a new Merkin.
Black Scholes said:
March 27th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
Aaaand we’re done here. Lock thread.
Rick Barnes said:
March 27th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Parlin — check out your boy Vince.
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0327092sham1.html
JDLooneyII said:
March 27th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
I’m gonna wait for DeLoss’ successor to sell off pieces of Field Turf after they discover it causes cancer in lab rats.
Chooky said:
March 27th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
You know that it’s a real party when a cut of Joe Don Looney’s lineage arrives.
Brian Combs said:
March 27th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
“Yeah, that ‘Nam grass will fuck anyone up, man!”
dedfischer said:
March 27th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
This was on a RRS (a premium site), but too funny not to share:
Edward Britton did not participate in today’s practice. He was held out for academic reasons, and came onto the field with a member of the academic support staff in street clothes during team period. After approaching the huddle, he was quickly sent to the sidelines to sit in a school desk that had been sitting on the sidelines throughout practice.
After practice ended, head coach Mike Leach summoned Britton (and his desk) to the huddle.
dedfischer said:
March 27th, 2009 at 6:12 pm
Apparently, Leach made him sit in the desk on the sidelines during practice and do homework.
DeLoss Dodds said:
March 27th, 2009 at 7:21 pm
Pssst. Don’t tell anyone, but grass is a gateway drug to foundation membership.
SizzleChest said:
March 27th, 2009 at 9:05 pm
If anyone needs me to fertilize their patch, give me a holler.
Chooky said:
March 28th, 2009 at 1:36 am
I’ll be fertilizing my own patch, thank you.
Pitchin Paul said:
March 28th, 2009 at 6:15 am
The St. Louis Cardinals sold urinals from the old Busch Stadium. Maybe Dodds can develop a “toiletry line” of products to add to his outdoor offerings
Bob in Houston said:
March 28th, 2009 at 6:22 am
It works out to about $1.15 mil, in case you wonder…
The General said:
March 28th, 2009 at 8:45 am
I think the PAT cost 1 million originally. Only Deloss Dodds can make 15% on 15 year old grass.
KENDRA said:
March 28th, 2009 at 10:57 am
Dope, you are crazy, dude. You don’t care what people think!
KENDRA said:
March 28th, 2009 at 10:59 am
Are you “trying” to turn people off? I think you are.
Another Alum said:
March 28th, 2009 at 11:00 am
What about Princeton tiger sod?
Princeton Tigress said:
March 28th, 2009 at 11:10 am
Is that “Victory Dance” called “Peace & Love Incorporated” by “Information Society”? I know you always used to dance to that song back in 1991.
ponderos said:
March 28th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
The old pr0n theater on South Congress sold its chairs when it went out of business a few years back. The one I have has this strange stain that spells out “HenryJames” in cursive. Weird.
absolut said:
March 28th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
Cinema West on South Congress. Did you hear the one about the guy who always went to the XXX movies? Until Viagra and the Internets, the only way he could get it up was by popping buttered popcorn at home.
Sherm said:
March 28th, 2009 at 6:35 pm
Speaking of buttered popcorn… I did not know of this until I changed jobs and relocated about a year and a half ago, but there is a trick you can play on your friends by cutting a hole in the bottom of a popcorn bucket and inserting your “sheep pleaser” (still don’t know what the boys mean by that) through the hole and wait for your movie watching, popcorn eating pal to get the surprise of his life! Oh my, the good natured jocularity that ensues leads to much laughter, popcorn fights and a real sense of bonding. We like it so much that we’ve incorporated ‘movie night’ as a staple when we have recruits in for a visit. One must stay ahead of the pack in this fast paced, modern, recruiting world we live in. Lane Kiffen and Pete Carroll have barebacked, homoerotic, tribal chanting. I have the popcorn trick… Scoreboard me!
Sherm's Bong said:
March 28th, 2009 at 6:58 pm
You need to change my water.
Bell County Sheriff said:
March 29th, 2009 at 10:47 am
We just stopped Ramonce Taylor outside of Belton for speeding, and he had a duffel bag full of this stuff.
Keep it in the closet, red head said:
March 29th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
Doperbo has a great ass and chin. I saw you shaking your trunk with an Eli look alike at Woodys! Whats this about Doperbo being a cannibal? You like to eat roasted Barker? I don’t fly the friendly skies, northern boy.
Clarissa's back said:
March 29th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
Good thing Doperbo doesn’t sing-he sounds way too much like Stevie Nicks singing about the Lone Ranger.
I want to humanize Doperbo said:
March 30th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
Doperbo has an incredible trunk! He’s Barking Carnival”s version of JLO.You shake that rump Doperbo-and don’t you ever stop! You shake it like its 1981!
Chris said:
March 30th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
Soooo many people (and animals) love and care about you, Doperbo. More than you’ll ever, ever know. You have absolutely no idea. Just pause and smell the roses, won’t you, love?
EK said:
March 30th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
That’s right-don’t fight the love, Dope!
Yarldboro said:
March 30th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
…or they’ll lock you away in a closet in that super-billionaire Vampire Estate called the Pescatore Foundation in Luxembourg ha-ha-ha…
Nicole-Barbe Ponsardin said:
March 30th, 2009 at 10:02 pm
What the fuck is going on on this thread?
Hunter S. Thompson said:
March 30th, 2009 at 10:20 pm
Makes perfect sense to me.