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Dez Bryant Puts The Me In My Space

Posted by Scipio Tex on December 31st, 2008 under Football

Buck Burnette gave us stupid, Marquise Slocum gave us the Fuck Lion, and Dez Bryant reminds us all of how quickly a generation gap can develop.

Some choice excerpts are paired with the thematic stylings of Lil Wayne:

Quote: Im not a stunna,im a show off and i aint seen a mill yet just wait you gone really see me go off!!!

Interests? Football, Basketball, and fucking with people

About me: ..? ? ..? ..

Heroes: Myself

His comments section is Faulknerian.

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24 Responses

  1. Was his ‘About me:’ reply written in Morse Code?

  2. I think he was intending to start a game of hangman with that section.

  3. “His comments section is Faulknerian.”

    I haven’t heard the “N” word that much since Richard Pryor stopped using it.

  4. Caddy uncaught Dez and we crawled through. Uncle Gundy said to not let anybody see us, so we better stoop over, Caddy said. Stoop over, Dez. Like this, see. We stooped over and crossed the garden, where the flowers rasped and rattled against us. The ground was hard. We climbed the fence, where the pigs were grunting and snuffing. I expect they’re sorry because one of them got killed today, Caddy said. The ground was hard, churned and knotted. Keep your hands in your pockets, Caddy said. Or they’ll get froze. You dont want your hands froze on Christmas, do you.

  5. Steve Nebraska said:

    December 31st, 2008 at 9:30 am

    I also noticed under “Heroes” he put himself.

    And apparently, he is engaged.

  6. He is engaged to himself.

  7. Me this afternoon said:

    December 31st, 2008 at 11:48 am

    Honey?? When is the private school tuition due for little Johnny??!!??

  8. I laud him for drawing a clear distinction between the ’show offs’ and ’stunnas’. Sorely needed. Let’s put an end to the confusion once and for all. Kudos, Dez.

  9. I think Fucking with People is under consideration by the IOC for inclusion into the 2012 summer games in London. Dez hopes if he is in the NFL at that time it won’t interfere with his amateur Fuck with status.

  10. Pitt OSU game singlehandedly was responsible for the death of a 1000 puppies.

  11. He’s going to make a perfect NFL WR.

  12. Sweet Marry Mother of God. Is he related to James Henry or Andre Jones?

  13. Art Vandelay said:

    December 31st, 2008 at 4:05 pm

    Isn’t Fucking with People an organization made up of troupes which sing and perform internationally??? It’s nice that he is giving back to the community.

  14. Not the best week for Lufkin, Texas and its favorite sons.

  15. Me Hate Me

  16. Facebook User said:

    December 31st, 2008 at 5:27 pm

    Interests? Football, Basketball, and fucking with people

    This describes everyone on this blog.

  17. Up with People said:

    December 31st, 2008 at 6:44 pm

    Damn these kids today….

  18. Spawn of Cthulhu said:

    January 1st, 2009 at 7:05 am

    Thanks to Benjy for bringing back the nightmare of trying to understand The Sound and The Fury.

  19. Capt. Insano said:

    January 1st, 2009 at 7:12 am

    Fuck Lion had me in tears. That is some seriously funny shit.

    “WHEN ARE YOU FUCKERS GOING TO BUY AN EDIT BUTTON!?!?!”

  20. Parlin Hall said:

    January 1st, 2009 at 8:44 am

    “Thanks to Benjy for bringing back the nightmare of trying to understand The Sound and The Fury.”

    Once you get Benjy, Greg Davis’s gameplans become clear.

    Running north-and-south = Going the wrong way around the statue of the Confederate soldier.

  21. Horn In Exile said:

    January 1st, 2009 at 10:21 am

    One of his “friends” is Dezmon Briscoe from KU…who, btw, had the best bowl game for a guy named Dez.

    http://www.myspace.com/yellaniggafromthasouth

  22. That is gold. Nicely done, Horn in Exile.

    He went for 201 and 3 TDs last night, so his headline is pretty accurate.

  23. after watching stafford try to run a 2 minute offense i hope the lions draft stafford. they are meant for each other.

  24. [...] this kid is a punk who will fit right in with NFL WRs like TO, Ochocinco, and Randy Moss.  See BC’s report of Bryant’s Myspace page for an example of punkness.  Still, his electrifying, dynamic, dazzling, and delightful play on the field makes him almost [...]

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