I got in late, didn’t hear the opening question. Based on the length of the monologue it must have been a doozy. Okay, just checked, it was “Good morning.” Here’s the last part of the response:

… feel like it’s a really fun time. It’s a neat deal for college football and for the kids, and it’s really special for a home crowd that was a record here for attendance and that’s really fun. I felt the guys played hard, they played well and enjoyed the experience with game day and all that, especially the recruits who got to see that, and we’ve played 3 top ten teams in three weeks which has never happened before

…doesn’t come right out and say the SWC sucked but… oops there it is does come right out and say it.

but we didn’t finish and get separation in second half, we had opportunities there that we missed to punch it in and get separation and we need to do a better job on that, I’m proud of our defensive sacks and pressures, and we did a good job defensing

Is that technically a word? Of course I am in absolutely no position to quibble about neologisms, best let it go…

Dez Bryant, which opened up things in the running game for them and their big TE, we missed too many tackles, we missed ten tackles and normally you want to miss six or so

WTF? If he really said that I’m not getting near Muschamp when he finds out lest I be crushed by his pulsating aura of hate.

but we had some opportunities on offense right at the end we didn’t take advantage of and credit Oklahoma State there

That is actually a very good idea, given the current financial crisis. Oklahoma State, you are formally credited. I am installing an official BC financial system, akin to Schrute Bucks and Stanley Nickels, only in the cybertubes. They will be called Mack Claps, and the opposing team with the most at the end of the season gets a slow clap from the assembled BC staff and a coupon from Olive Garden. Ten Colt Credits shall be worth 1 Mack Clap.

…in fact we didn’t go for the field goal because they were doing so well in the kicking game and for fear they’d score on a return, give Oklahoma State credit for their return game and we need to play better there that’s two Mack Claps right there! and of course we didn’t play well enough against the run in the second half and we need to do a better job there as well.

Damn that was a long paragraph. I either need some finger splints and capsaicin cream or a third person omniscient narrative. I’ve hung out with Puerto Rican girls in the Bronx who are less verbose. His Indian name would be Wind of a Sherpa. Crap, he’s talking again…

Going over players of the game – on Defense Henry Melton and Earl Thomas, both played well and the defense did well overall, gave up some plays but showed good hustle even when they weren’t in position, cites Sergio getting faked completely out and hustling to recover the fumble, glaring lack of appropriate cat with Rubik’s cube analogy there, just glaring, something about Curtis Brown and Lamarr Houston playing well, something about Duane Akina screaming a lot, missed a good chance for a Sam Kinison reference there Mack… No? No? He missed it, would’ve been awesome… something else… something else, I got distracted thinking about Kinison… no Big Hit award this week on defense.

Ouch. The most physical game we’ve played all year and there are no Big Hit awards on defense? Wow. I can think of several nice hits off the top of my head but I don’t think that is really what’s going on here. Will, my friends, is either employing some very clever Iron John personality shaping techniques here with his stable of young warriors or, more likely, he’s just extremely pissed off. Either way, stay away from his neck veins.

Going over players of the game on offense – Had two turnovers which we haven’t had but otherwise Colt was the player of the game, he’s just phenomenal (non Rome pronunciation there), Ulatoski wins the Boss Hogg award as the best corrupt politician in a small southern town, most productive award goes to Travis Henry Jordan Shipley but also McCoy (what?), great play of the game was the TD catch by Quan, the big hit on offense was Vondrell running over some guy.

So the offense gives a Big Hit award to a RB. I guess they aren’t employing the same Sardaukar training mind games the defense is, I wish I had paid attention to who Vondrell hit now.

On the kicking game – hunter Lawrence is 100%, kick off returns are OK, kick off coverage was spoor. Oh, poor. Best go with the first one. . We’re going to change personnel there next week.

Good idea. Still no mention of the Roy Miller Reverse Wedge Buster Death Blossom Package I’ve emailed him like 500 times so we must be saving that.

On playing Texas Tech on national TV- It’s a fun time, a neat deal, really special, great environment, fun, challenging, and exciting.

I was texting instead of listening but trust me that’s close to the transcript.

Asked about both QB’s being coaches’ sons.

Yes, they are and what they give you there is experience and toughness and a work ethic.

So apparently they are. I did not know that. Where exactly are all of these coaches’ sons coming from? Time was you couldn’t find a good coach’s son without 30 year old copy Phil Steele, a lock of curly blonde hair and a hazel dowsing rod. Now you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting one. The Coaches must be procreating like hell around here lately. Lusty bastards.

Talking about the best quarterbacks in the country being in the Big 12, makes a pretty convincing argument… yeah, doing well, good points… take that SEC… ooooffff. He did it. He included the Aggies. We were this -><- close.

On Mike Leach

Mike is fun, exceptional, and bright. He likes John Tesh music making love at midnight in the dunes on the Cape.

That’s a little creepy right there.

Mike uses a system that is not wind friendly (presumably coal) and he makes it work. Spike can’t believe it either, so give Mike a lot of credit for that system and offense.

Is that two separate Mack Claps or just one? Judges?

On the similarities between Missouri and Texas Tech- the only thing that is the same is the splits, but they do look alike, because Mike is running more now, and both throw the ball well, and both Graham Harrell and Chase Daniels will be great pro QB’s

[cough]Bullshit![cough] crap Cleve heard me

talking about how Leach doesn’t get enough credit for coaching quarterbacks or for underplaying the prevalence of buggery on 18th century Caribbean sailing vessels. Pointing out that Mike recruits QB’s to fit his system and Greg tweaks the system to fit quarterback

Cynics would point out how much easier having an absolutely perfect quarterback makes that particular adjustment, but who gets credit for training the QB to be perfect? It gets too chicken/eggy and I’ve moved on.

On the Texas Tech Defense, knows Ruffin from what sounds like moonshine country, thinks he’s doing a good job- they blitz 18% of the time and move around a lot, they’re doing a good job over all. Didn’t give them any official Mack Claps. Telling. Says this is the best tech team we’ve seen. They always play close there, closer than here. Spike beat us out there before or something.

Not sure what that has to do with anything. He and Mack must hang out and tie one every now and then or something.

Talking about Missouri waxing Colorado, talking about beating three ranked teams in a row, how team has played hard for 8 weeks, about the character, toughness and blue collar attitude, about how after this stretch it will still be tough, Baylor is better, and has a good QB, how they don’t like us for living in a blue county, something about Todd Reesing being a good QB as well and Kansas is better, and we haven’t played well against aTm lately either.

Seems a little early to talk up that part of the schedule, especially since none of us believe it, but I admire the effort.

On last weeks game, thinks close tough game will help mentality, the coaches have the player’s attention- and the players are not happy with not finishing but give Oklahoma state credit Three Mack Claps and counting! and also Mike Stoops

Did he just say Mike Stoops or Mike Gundy? Cedric Golden farted really loud and I missed it. Anyway, give one of them credit for how well Oklahoma State is playing. There’s an Olive Garden coupon riding on it.

Talking about how this bunch has handled what’s been thrown at them.

Wow. He’s using the This Bunch iconography. That’s outstanding. I always wanted a Worster Bunch kind of tag for one of our teams. It’s not as cool as Colt’s Nigerian Ninja You Cain’t See Me Posse like I planned but that only really applied a couple of our players, his is way more inclusive. Epistemologically speaking, This Bunch covers a lot of ground as a useful term.

Talking about Jordan breaking a shitload of records… talking about chemistry between Colt and Jordan, and now also with Cosby, how important chemistry is for a football team, basically saying F Huck over and over, which makes me chuckle again and Damn it!.

I got kicked out. Anybody know where the video is?