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1. Bob in Houston said:

   September 22nd, 2008 at 7:12 am

   Dislocated knee? That sounds Wackeresque to me. Hopefully not.

2. Facebook User said:

   September 22nd, 2008 at 7:37 am

   What a shame for the kid.

3. steven said:

   September 22nd, 2008 at 7:53 am

   Makes me realize that being a football player is cool and all, and I’m sure it goes well with the babes, but all that just makes glad that I am just a four eyed engineering geek. Yep, jumping into bed with a bunch of dumb, slutty blondes is something us engineering geeks may have some trouble with, but at least at the end of the day, we do not have trouble walking straight or end up crying out in pain in front of 90,000 people in a public forum. And if we get desperate enough, hell man, that is what these glasses and porno is for. All this just made me realize that being an engineering geek is tons better than being a stud football jock. Whew, makes me feel alot better now.

4. Ag_in_TX said:

   September 22nd, 2008 at 7:59 am

   There is video of it on YouTube. It is a horrific injury and I feel for the kid. I wish him the best. The label of “dislocated knee” does not do the injury justice.

5. korgothsbelly said:

   September 22nd, 2008 at 8:43 am

   steven – that might be the most pathetic comment I’ve ever read in the history of the interweb. If you think getting laid is the main reason “football jocks” play football, it’s no wonder you became a booger eatin’ engineer. Have fun jerkin’ off to a computer you probably built for the rest of your life.

6. steven said:

   September 22nd, 2008 at 10:24 am

   Aside from slutty, surgically altered, bimbo blondes, why else would anyone want to go play football. Sorry to say, I cannot think of any other reason. And if you say money, then that just goes back to the original motivation of slutty girls, since having money is one of the pre-requisites to having airtime with slutty, sugically altered, bimbo blondes. I mean what other motivation could there possibly be? Are you trying to tell me that football players want to just go out there and out compete other guys in a pushing and shoving contest or out gain other guys yardage wise, just for its own sake. Now I may be an engineer and I maybe pathetic, but, come on now, I was not born yesterday. If football and slutty girls do not go together like beer and pretzels, then how come there is such an emphasis on cheerleaders at the games (there is no other rational explanation for there existence or emphasis) or how come they are always showing camera shots of slutty girls at football games (why not the ugly girls?) or how come football players are always going around with slutty girls? And if you haven’t noticed, evidently, Madison Ave. seems to agree with my assessment, judging from all of the misogynistic advertisements that play during football games. Beer commercials always have their emphasis on what? Two things, stupid, gullible men and slutty girls. So while I may admittedly be pathetic, apparently, Madison Ave. seems to believe wholeheartedly that I am not alone among those who are tuning into these televised contests to see who is more deserving to get more and higher quality sluts.

7. Ag_in_TX said:

   September 22nd, 2008 at 10:28 am

   steven,

   I’ve seen a lot of stupid people on the Internet, but you take the cake (and that’s saying something)…

8. Vasherized said:

   September 22nd, 2008 at 10:29 am

   Steven is quickly making his way to Mod status.

9. BRAGGonUT said:

   September 22nd, 2008 at 10:40 am

   Well said, Ag in TX.

10. BrickHorn said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 10:46 am

    So while I may admittedly be pathetic, apparently, Madison Ave. seems to believe wholeheartedly that I am not alone among those who are tuning into these televised contests to see who is more deserving to get more and higher quality sluts.

    That’s right, Bennett Brauer back with another commentary. Thought you’ve seen the last of ol’ Bennett, perhaps. Thougtht the network bigwigs would have sent Bennett and his negative “view rating” on a slow boat to shanghai.

    Well, maybe I don’t “look the part”. I’m not “svelte”. I don’t “look comfortable on camera”. I’m not “gabby”. I don’t “understand what’s going on in the news”. I’m not “likeable”. I don’t “get along with people”. When I go to work, I don’t “make eye contact”. I guess I don’t “fit the mold”. I don’t “wear the latest clothes” or even ones that don’t “reek”. I don’t “change my underwear”. I’m not “buff”. I don’t have “firm breasts”. I don’t “exercise”. And when I do sweat, I don’t “shower”. I’m not “spick and span”. I don’t “clean the area between my crotch and legs”.

    But, for the time being, I guess the network “enforcers” are opting for my approach, until Joe Consumer tells them he’d rather get his 2 cents from commentators who don’t “make babies cry” and don’t “drink maple syrup straight from the bottle,” and don’t “leave old dried up deodorant cakes under their arms for weeks at a time.”

11. 98horn said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 10:46 am

    steven,
    shut your damned c*cksucker
    signed,
    everyone

12. Huckleberry said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 11:02 am

    The comments here are weird. I am completely positive that steven’s first post was complete satire. And I’m pretty sure the second one was also satire just with a little extra flavor thrown in because one person had already been hooked.

13. korgothsbelly said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 11:02 am

    i just would like to know how a serious knee injury would bring out all these fucked up emotions from someone. I mean you sound like a man on the verge of breakdown. if this great game of football and the people involved bring out these feelings in you, maybe you should lock yourself in a dark room and jerkoff until you find hapiness. and please whatever you do, don’t show yourself to society until you have figured out what makes you think this way. Why do you have such a fascination w/ slutty,surgically altered,bimbo blondes anyway? Did you get turned down by one in HS or college. Or did the blonde hooker not take Klingon currency???

14. korgothsbelly said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 11:06 am

    wait a minute is this “TTYH” steven? If so, I owe you a kick in the nads when I see you up here in dallas.

15. BRAGGonUT said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 11:06 am

    Huck, you should read all of steven’s comments. He is incapable of satire.

16. Stuck in MN said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 11:09 am

    He is also incapable of paragraphs.

17. Paris Hilton said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 11:16 am

    Something tells me he has issues with slutty girls.

18. steven said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 11:18 am

    By the way, I am in no way gloating or belittling the injury to Irby. Too bad for him. I was just noting that I am happy to be in a field that is less injury prone, although it may be a whole lot less glamorous. That’s about it, guys.

    Oh, and if my post is so stupid, then, I challenge anyone to come up with any other reason why anyone would want to play football, outside of slutty women. Put out the list, and let’s see if any of them can pass the muster of rational scrutiny. And if you smart boys cannot manage to do this, then, quite possibly, could it not be true that it is not I that is stupid but reality in general -the reality that we happen to live in?

19. HenryJames said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 11:19 am

    Something tells me he has issues with slutty girls.

    Fixed it for you.

20. Huckleberry said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 11:22 am

    I’m going to continue believing that he’s a satirist yanking everyone’s chain. It seems like it will make his comments much more enjoyable.

21. korgothsbelly said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 11:32 am

    steven – From the bottom of slut loving heart, I hope you aren’t an engineer of anything important for our entire existance is in question.
    I honestly believe that the #1 reason guys play football is because they are good at it and they have fun doing it. Especially in college. You get into the NFL and becomes more of a business, but I still believe they are playing at their pinnacle and they still enjoy the game. I think the fame & fortune largely foreshadows the players love just simply love the game. I loved the game, but sucked at it. Still married a hot blonde though and I don’t eat my boogers, so I have that going for me.

22. Stuck in MN said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 11:43 am

    The enjoyment of athletic competition and being part of a team is really difficult to explain to someone that has never experienced either one. I think the closest thing I could compare it to so you could understand is a weeklong marathon of Dungeons and Dragons in your Mom’s basement.

23. Gaylord Focker said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 11:44 am

    hey steven, I have nipples. Can you milk me?

24. steven said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 11:46 am

    My time on the computer is coming to an end, but put out the list guys, and we will see if any of them passes the muster of rational scrutiny. The one above does not pass, but I do not have the time to get into it just yet, but I will.

25. Joe Morgan said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 12:25 pm

    The one above does not pass, but I do not have the time to get into it just yet, but I will.

    I enjoy your writing. But I have an unusual style. But I find it’s effective. But not everyone does.

26. steven said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 12:27 pm

    Well, I guess the b*tch next to me does not actually need to use the computer, so I got a bit more time. Sorry I cannot milk you. It’s no go. I am an engineer not a milk man.

    About the first attempt to break my equation between football and sluts, I believe that it too is a no go once one bothers to or once one is capable of looking beyond the obvious and seeing the ultimate underlying dynamics of the situation at hand. Think about it (for a change for some of you), being a good football players entails what? Being physical, agile, fast, reckless, and in general athletic. Now what is all that a symbol of or a representation of in our modern society. It happens to be a symbol of masculinity, in one way or another. And does maculinity have any place or purpose in this world without femininity or sluts, as is the modern reference for the term? I say no. Put in another way, it is no fun being a good football player (i.e. fast, agile, strong, physical) in a vacuum or a world without slutty chicks who we think will oohh and aahhh over it. Think about it. Imagine how fun it would be if we were a good football player alone on a desert island or in an empty stadium or a stadium full of Aggie yell leaders. Now football maybe fun and all, but I would say that it would all get old mighty fast for most normal guys without the thought of chicks being out there to gawk at and be impressed by our physical prowess (or the thought that some day some slutty chicks will be out there to gawk at our manly prowess. We live in an expectation driven world). And so in other words and in conclusion, being good in football would not be fun without the corresponding existence of sluts. Hell, football probably would not even exist without the thought of impressing sluts. So even given the above circumstances, football still = sluts.

27. Woody Bombay said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 12:28 pm

    What’s wrong with playing football to get laid?

28. steven said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 12:36 pm

    Now, with respect to fame and fortune. You say football players play for the love of the game. Well, they could sure as hell fool me, once they get to the pros. And for those that say that it is just cause they get corrupted in the pros, well, considering that it is the first time they have gotten a chance to get corrupted, it does seem to say quite a bit about their true original motivations. Does it not? And if money, fame, and fortune were their true or ultimate motivations for their joy of playing football, then what does that say? Money, fame, fortune are good for what and especially if you are just another dumb jock? Sure, it all gets you a lot of things and opens up a lot of opportunities, but ultimately and for men, it has everything to do with getting more and higher quality sluts or at least the thought thereof. So here once again, football=sluts.

29. steven said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 12:39 pm

    Who said there was anything wrong with that? That was just my point. You might want to ask these other fellows this question. They are the ones who seem to have a problem with it, not me. It all seems perfectly rational to me, in a non-rational way, of course.

30. Mister Mike said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 12:40 pm

    I certainly sympathize with the Horns on this one…that was JUST NASTY. I’ve watched it several times on You Tube just because it still looks almost TOO nasty to be real.

    Reminded me of what happened to Matt Herian in ‘04 when his leg got rolled up on (yeah I know they’re different injuries.) One of the worst breaks I’ve seen.

31. steven said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 12:47 pm

    Now with respect to the male bonding aspect. Sure male bonding is cool and all, but what is typically the core part of male bonding? Is it not chasing whores together, going to strip clubs, or just chasing girls together in general or even playing D&D together, all the while, dreaming of chasing sluts together? I mean, do you think all that male bonding would last so long or feel so right if there were no sluts in this world? My guess is this, without the sluts next door, all that male bonding would get awfully too homo for most guys and, as a result, male bonding would not get too far in a world without sluts. Well, I guess what I am saying, guys, is that it appears that sluts make the world go round, at least for guys. Well, thank God for sluts, I guess.

32. A Einstein said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 1:00 pm

    Mathematical proofs of human behavior are inherently wrong and therefor a fools exercise.

    May you blow your knee out while rushing to a quantum physics test.

33. Stuck in MN said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 1:03 pm

    OK, Huck’s right, he’s employing satire.

34. Son of a Stunna said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 1:44 pm

    Steven, the high experienced playing in front of 95,000 screaming fans isn’t one you may obtain wanking it online, making straight A’s, or solving your rubiks cube in 13.5 seconds. This sensation is something totally different from any other aspect of your innocuous life that i’m really not sure if you will ever understand. Although I haven’t experienced this sensation I do have friends on the team and one explained to me after scoring his first collegiate touchdown last season that, “it was without a doubt the most unforgettable moment of my life, like an out of body experience”. This is why people like Brett Favre have so much trouble stepping away from this game. Do you think Brett keeps coming back for the ’sluts’?

35. blon said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 2:42 pm

    My heart goes out to Irby and any other player that gets hurt. Yes, it is a tough game and injury is part of that, but you hate to see it when it happens.

    I would usually not respond to someone like Steven, but I don’t think you know much about the game if you feel athletes only play to get women. I am female so obviously I have never played the game, but I have several relatives that have, going from high school to the pros. They are/were great athletes but they are also very intelligent and loved the strategic aspects of the game. It takes a high level of intelligence and a lot of work to play really well.

36. AustinYankee said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 3:38 pm

    Steven,

    If satire, it is mediocre humor.

    If you are serious, it is tremendous humor.

    Either way, why follow a football board? Looking for blog sluts?

37. absolut said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 5:40 pm

    Steven is not an engineer, but he is a true competitor having finished first and third in a recent jack off contest in an alley just off of Montrose. Maybe he is a statistician, and can tell us the odds of a terrible injury like the one Irby incurred Saturday evening occurring when taking into account all the plays in all of the games played from Pop Warner all the way through the NFL nationwide the past weekend much less through a Fall football season at all levels. We all do what we do for various reasons, but the opportunity for multiple, varied, lurid, memorable sexual experiences with willing members of the opposite sex is not a reason to play/succeed-it is a potential byproduct of the success(if one can play other games). Sad, sad attempt at satire at the expense of a young man’s very serious injury(mean-spirited is a more appropriate description). May Irby fully recover, and get some serious sympathy tail before, during and after any required surgery and rehab. May the sun never shine on the backside of Steven’s sister on her missionary trip to Angola Prison in Louisiana or his frontside while visiting her until guys quit playing football just for kicks.

38. SizzleChest said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 6:26 pm

    I like tits.

39. Orange90 said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 6:30 pm

    What a retarded attempt at satire and what an absolutely poor choice of a thread in which to try it.

40. ATXHornsFan said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 7:43 pm

    If it isn’t funny, it isn’t satire.

    It isn’t funny. Some of the responses are funny. Steven is not funny. It isn’t satire, and it that’s what he intended, he gets an “F”. I don’t even think it can be called an “attempt”.

    Steven, one thing’s for sure, you ain’t going to get any big-titty slutty girls with weak bullshit like that. And that’s why we play this game.

41. Thread Saver said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 9:26 pm

    Get well soon, Blaine!
    Locate that knee!

42. steven said:

    September 23rd, 2008 at 9:48 am

    Did not want to keep this thread alive. I would have been more than perfectly content to let this one die, but I also feel that there is a point in continuing with my responses to show that I did have a legitimate point, whereas, my abundant critics did not. Keep in mind folks, numbers do not necessary mean that you are right, and, in fact, more times than not, it probably means the exact opposite of this. I think history has proven this principle to be true, time and time again. Do I really need to cite the countless examples of this? I didn’t think so.

    On whether “Mathematical proofs of human behavior are inherently wrong and therefor a fools exercise”.

    Is this an attempt to imply that human behavoir is not predictable. Because if it is, then how do any of us have to courage to walk out of our doors in the morning? If not, then how do any of us have the ability to relate at all to another human being. All these acts imply that we have confidence in our ability to predict the actions of our fellow man and all this just goes to show that human behavior is predictable, very predictable in fact. And if human behavior is predictable, then mathematical like models, by necessity, must also be applicable to human behavior. It is just a matter using the correct models and variables. Of course, if you use the wrong ones (like you folks are doing), then you will get the wrong results.

    I suppose, what the above the poster is really getting at is the issue of free will and the issue of the inherent uncertainty in human knowledge. I do not wish to delve to deeply into these subjects (at least not on this forum), but I will say that as far as uncertainty is concerned, yes, there will always be a certain degree of uncertainty anytime we attempt to translate human knowlege onto to the material plane of our existence, but, still and no matter, even given this, if correct models and variables are used, the predictability of human behavior clearly outweighs any level of residue uncertainty our knowledge may have.

    As far as idea of free will is concerned, I believe that the above poster just simply does not have a clue as to what true and genuine free will actually happens to be or consists in. Yes, I, too, agree that free will does exist and that it is of paramount importance to human existence and behavior, but free will is also much more than just the ability to do what it is that we please, or just our ability to attempt to act in an unpredictable and undefinable manner. No, free will is much more profound and significant than that simple minded, air headed notion. Not surprisingly, the above simple minded notion of free will is actually the very definition of what it means to have no free will. It is the very opposite of free will. And given that I could predict and surmise all this from one simple statement, you folks still want to say that human behavior is not predictable. I will say this, the above poster is certainly predictable or, at least his comments certainly are.

43. steven said:

    September 23rd, 2008 at 10:36 am

    On whether “…This sensation is something totally different from any other aspect of your innocuous life that i’m really not sure if you will ever understand. Although I haven’t experienced this sensation I do have friends on the team and one explained to me after scoring his first collegiate touchdown last season that, “it was without a doubt the most unforgettable moment of my life, like an out of body experience”… …Do you think Brett keeps coming back for the ’sluts’?”

    Don’t know if there is a coherent point in all that garbage, but I will say this, do you actually believe that most football players are intelligent to enough to explain honestly and accurately their true feelings or their true thoughts. Not trying to dog athletes here, but it is actually pretty rare to run across someone, not just athletes, who can actually do this, although athletes are probably even less likely than the common average man to be able to do this. And we can sort of see the truth of this phenomenon from most of the posts we see here today.

    As far as the original topic is concerned, sure, I am sure that the athletes in question get a high from all the adulation they get on the field of battle. But do you really think that this sensation is somehow detached from and completely independent from the image of surgically enhanced, bimbo sluts running naked through their heads? I don’t happen to think so. Just because something is separated by time or circumstance, does not mean that they are not related. Do not let your gullible eyes and empty head fool you. I would say that it is pretty obvious that those sensations you are describing and the idea of countless sluts in the sky are very related and they go hand in hand. Ever heard of a concept called foreplay? Alot of that is just that. It is just the joy of foreplay and anticipation right before the final climax.

    And also, you must remember, people, and, yes, even people today, as irredeemably corrupt as they are now, still have a sense of God given justice which is innate and inherent to their natures. In other words, alot of that joy and sensation you are talking about is the joy of believing that we have accomplished something or that we are deserving of something. And that sense is only magnified by the fact that we have just proven ourselves in front of thousands of people and, quite possibly, on national T.V. to boot. Now what exactly is this feeling accomplishment most and ultimately related to? What else but getting more and higher quality sluts. Do you actually believe that those great feelings would last if all they got were all those empty anonymous adulations and if they did not also know ahead of time that easy and high quality p*ssy would be thrown in at the end (at least in their teeny weenie minds). My friend, rest assured, the world has maintained at least this level of a semblance of justice.

    Basically, it invariably gives joy to a man’s heart to believe they have actually earned the right to go rape and pillage another human being. Otherwise, if they did not believe that they were deserving through their acts, birthrigthts, or nutty delusions in the head, then they would be filled with pangs of guilt and remorse and they could not go through with their acts of retribution and violence, at least not with comfort or joy -at least not unless they are truly a sick mfuker, sort of like a Dalmer type. So to answer your asinine question, yes, Farve plays football because of sluts, although he is probably too stupid and self-righteous to know any better.

44. steven said:

    September 23rd, 2008 at 10:52 am

    On whether “They are/were great athletes but they are also very intelligent and loved the strategic aspects of the game. It takes a high level of intelligence and a lot of work to play really well” matters at all in this discussion.

    Yes, I am not denying that football players are hard working and intelligent (do have a bit of question with this, though), but what the hell does this have anything to with the point at hand. Just goes to show you the value of girl logic. Worthless. And yes, desperate scuzeballs at clubs and pimps also work hard and use intelligence to get what they want. They, too, work hard and use intelligence to sucker and coerce sluts into compromising positions, to say the least. And what of it. The ultimately driving motivation for both groups is the same, although one route maybe more socially acceptable, whiles the other maybe a bit less savory. And haven’t we all noticed that there is a bit of connection between both types of people. It is not uncommon at all for failed athletes or athletes whose careers are washed up to end up in the other group. Or haven’t you folks noticed?

45. steven said:

    September 23rd, 2008 at 11:09 am

    On whether “We all do what we do for various reasons, but the opportunity for multiple, varied, lurid, memorable sexual experiences with willing members of the opposite sex is not a reason to play/succeed-it is a potential byproduct of the success(if one can play other games)”

    Oh, really and how do you exactly define “willing” and especially when it comes to sluts? If one is truly honest, exactly, how many of our escapades have been done with a completely willingly partner on the other end, and I am not just talking about the accepted social or legal defination of “willing” but the actual f*cking term as we use it when we are speaking with true honesty. Now, exactly how honest are men when they are trying snag a hot lay in bed or, hell, how honest are guys when it comes to sex period? And if we have to sucker women with our honey dewed words or other enticements to get what we want, then can we honestly say that the other in this relationship is truly “willing”. And is this not also the reason why there are all these God damn women past the age of 25 running around who have all this baggage knee deep up to the necks. How many of us have actually met women past the age of 25 who do not have any God damn melodramatic baggage and B.S. in their lives? Just goes to show you the true weight your definition of “willing” has in the real world and not just in the delusions in your head.

    Also, your thoughts about the relationship between success and access are full of sh*t as well, but I will pass on getting into that further. But needless to say, it is stupid, sophmoric, and just plain wrong.

46. steven said:

    September 23rd, 2008 at 11:18 am

    Also, by the way, just wanted to add, if I am correct about my original thoughts about football=sluts, then that must necessarily mean that I am rubber and you all are glue, and everything bounces off me and sticks to you. Theoretically speaking, it can be no other way, either I am wrong, and what you all said about me is correct, or I am right (and given limp responses to my challenge, I can only assume this to be the case.) and everything you all said is actually more a reflection of yourselves and than me. You see, (and you all should learn this at some point in your lives), ultimately in this life, and even in the one to come, it is not what you want or wish to believe that is important or relevant, it is what you actually and ultimately believe that matters and which is the determining factor on whether, at the end of all things, you will face at thumbs up or a thumb down.

47. coach Callahan said:

    September 23rd, 2008 at 12:56 pm

    maybe steven just always wanted to be a slutty girl and do some football jocks. Good luck steven in living your dream.

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