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Jones Top Ten – Week 4 – 2008

Posted by jonestopten on September 21st, 2008 under Football

Climbing hills taxes a man. I’m speaking physically, not metaphorically. The aptly-named Mountainclimb Drive bisecting my neighborhood provides such a test. I need about six minutes to get up it at a decent pace. By “decent” I mean fast enough to think well of myself at the top, but not so fast I suffer cardiac arrest. One Saturday this summer, Mae the Boxer and I passed a man on our ascent. It was about 85 on the way to 117 in Austin that day. In his mid-fifties, this man wore khaki pants, a long sleeve dress shirt and a tie. The yarmulke gave him away; he was going to Temple. I’m guessing his destination had to be the conservative congregation, Agudas Achim. That meant he had another two miles to go and a couple more major hills to climb in the Texas heat. That’s commitment. Faithfulness.

I was embarrassed to think that it would never occur to me to walk to church out of adherence to age-old ideals. Where do we find that today? The dedication to ancient tradition, the passion, the history, the willingness to endure physical discomfort to be as one with community?

I mean, other than in the SEC?

LSU 26

Auburn 21

We had to wait all day for a great football game and we only got one. But what a game it was. Our friends had gone home and taken their marauding bands with them. Mrs. Jones Top Ten had put our little marauders to bed, leaving Zach and me in the middle of a living room littered with all manner of ankle-turning and heel-impaling plastic and metal. Jordan-Hare Stadium in Auburn was the perfect nightcap. Zach made up a game by flipping back and forth between Auburn and Tempe, where Arizona State hosted Georgia.

“This is bizarre.”
“What?”

“The noise, the Arizona State fans don’t make any.”

Zach expounded.

“It’s un-natural. They want to act like college football fans; they just don’t know how.”
“Yeah.”

“It’s like the difference between a basketball crowd and a golf crowd.”

The wisdom of 12-year-olds. Auburn’s fans did their part, but the team fell just a little short. LSU had to figure out quarterback play after a miserable first half, but young Jarrett Lee finally took the reins and made enough plays to win. We likely haven’t heard the last from either of these Tigers this season.

Not only are their fans quieter, the players for Arizona State seemed a step (maybe two) slower than the Georgia visitors. The Bulldogs eased out a 27-10 win after building a 21-3 half-time lead. Dominating.

Bad as Arizona State was at home, Tennessee proved even less capable of playing with Florida in front of their own folks. How could this rivalry become this one-sided so fast? You would think that the Vols have never been competitive against Florida. That makes four in a row and the last two were ugly. 30-6, Gators, who somehow won going away with less than 250 yards of total offense. The Phil Fulmer countdown to a career in television commentary begins, which would be far more entertaining than watching him coach.

Routs, routs, routs. Continuing the thread, one more top ten SEC team (unprecedented, by the way), Alabama, drilled poor Arkansas, 49-14. I can’t believe I just expressed sympathy for Arkansas.

Notre Dame can’t block anyone. This condition represents a great step forward for the Irish; last year they could neither block nor tackle. They can tackle now. Well, sort of. Michigan State 23, Notre Dame 7. The Spartans look particularly tough with Javon Ringer ringing up 200 yard days as effortlessly as East Lansing liquor stores ring up cheap Canadian whiskey.

No one likes a good Cinderella story more than I do. Actually, now that I think about it, most folks like a good Cinderella story more than I do. Sayonara, Pirates. NC State 30, East Carolina 24.

East Carolina was not the best BCS-busting option anyway. Those teams, assuming the NCAA doesn’t simply hand out a free bid to the Mountain West just on general principle, are, in order, BYU, 44-0 shellackers of Wyoming, Utah, 30-23 winners over a solid Air Force and TCU, who play idle Oklahoma next week, but this week fleeced Southern Money 48-7.

Now that’s a run-on sentence. Bring on the Faux-Faulkner contest; I’m bringin’ it, baby.
South Florida would probably just like to forget a 17-9 win over Florida International, which is a football team, not a relief organization, as is commonly thought. South Florida plays Athletes in Action next Saturday and, with any luck at all, might score more than two touchdowns.

USC did not play. The Trojans, however, did not play in such jaw-droppingly spectacular fashion that ESPN deemed it “perhaps the finest open week performance in college football history.”

“That’s beautiful, man,” added Pete Carroll.

Oregon, exhausted after defending what little honor the Pac Ten has last week, decided to hell with it. We’re tired and out of quarterbacks and are sick of wearing these ridiculous uniforms. Boise State 37, Oregon 32.

Ohio State still ain’t right, but the Buckeyes did hand the keys over to young Mr. Pryor for a 28-10 win over Troy. So what happens next week against a surprisingly undefeated Minnesota?
Penn State beat Temple. The sun also came up in the east. Texas beat Rice. The sun then set in the west.
The Chase Daniel Magical Mystery Tour continued with a 42-21 win over Buffalo (no, really they’re not that bad anymore). Daniel went 35-44 for 431, two scores, no picks for a QB rating roughly equal to Mark Mangino’s combined cholesterol.

Speaking of, Kansas rebounded from the South Florida loss to beat Sam Houston State 38-14. Probably not nearly as pretty as Texas Tech’s wipeout of UMass or Clemson’s throttling of South Carolina Agricultural and Secretarial.

West Virginia continues to learn a cruel lesson in succession planning as the avuncular and popular Bill Stewart, played by Dick Van Dyke, looked just a mite out of sorts in a 17-14 overtime loss to Colorado on Thursday night. Pat White, at this very moment, could be playing wide receiver for some lucky NFL team, instead of watching Mountaineer football slowly spiral down the path to mediocrity.

Do you think the ACC, in their wildest dreams, after adding Florida State, Miami, Virginia Tech and Boston College, ever thought that Wake Forest would be described by any serious journalist as the “standard bearer?” I mean during football season, of course. Wake 12, Florida State 3. The game was a horrendous turnover-fest that featured three missed field goals by Sam Swank among a cavalcade of offensive ineptitude that would make Sylvester Croom look good on the sidelines.

Auburn 3, Mississippi State 2 last week. Georgia Tech 38, Mississippi State 7 this week. And here I thought that Paul Johnson was running a gimmick offense that couldn’t possibly withstand the defensive brilliance of the SEC. Huh.
The underground team to watch? Vanderbilt. Mrs. Jones Top Ten’s Commodores took out the JTT pre-season darkhorse Mississippi Rebels, 23-17 by playing solid defense in the red zone and intercepting Ole Miss quarterback Jevan Snead four times to go to 4-0 and, quite probably, gain a real live AP top 25 ranking.

Impressive Showing of the Week: North Carolina State

1. USC

2. Oklahoma

3. Missouri

4. LSU

5. Georgia

6. Florida

7. Penn State

8. Texas

9. Alabama

10. BYU

Auburn is eleven and I am not sure what to make of Wisconsin just yet. We have time.

Georgia’s murderer’s row continues hosting ‘Bama on Saturday. TCU visits Oklahoma and tries to slow down the Sooner awesomeness. Could Mizzou find trouble at Nebraska?

Good Sabbath,

-Adam Jones

ose Bowl Dreams: A Memoir of Faith Family and Football is the new book by Adam Jones.

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7 Responses

  1. UTtuck said:

    September 21st, 2008 at 9:30 pm

    Interesting to me that Auburn is still 11. They barely beat a bad Miss State, and then played over their heads to LSU. The way that people see the SEC, I could see people arguing for a 4 loss SEC team to be in the top ten. mdr, I’m looking at you (although Georgia did what it needed to this week, so I say goon on them)

  2. UTtuck said:

    September 21st, 2008 at 9:31 pm

    that should read “good on them”, but I suck at spelling after 1 am

  3. jonestopten said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 3:05 am

    I kind of like “goon on them.” I may start using it.

    I think Auburn will get better offensively over the course of the season.

    Who not listed in the top ten beats Auburn?

    Wake? Wisconsin? Ohio State? TCU? Michigan State? Texas Tech?

    Maybe, but not surely.

  4. ATXHorn said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 6:26 am

    “The sun also came up in the east. Texas beat Rice. The sun then set in the west.”

    Classic Adam, classic.

  5. Vasherized said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 6:52 am

    Penn State wins the Big 10 this year.

  6. The Source said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 8:29 am

    Minnesota – look at their head coach. Tim Brewster – great recruiter. I’ve been saying for a long time, he’s the next big deal in college coaching. Bottom line he can recruit, recruit, recruit. I would love for him to succeed Mac Brown.

  7. steven said:

    September 22nd, 2008 at 9:55 am

    Of the top 9 schools, the one school that does not belong is Mizzou. Sure, they look like the blue angels on offense, but style points should not get you a top three ranking. With all the sorry ass teams in the B12 North, I do not know if they will end up getting exposed during the season, but, from my perspective, look for them to still have a bunch of close games where they struggle even with the sorry teams in the north division.

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  • dick commented on the blog post Barnes worst team   21 minutes ago

    “Also because those other teams gave great effort almost every game. This team’s effort was questionable. Dumb and lazy, not a good combo…..”

    This is what made this season so bizarre for me. This has never been a problem for Barnes’ teams. But I actually questioned this team’s heart and desire to play together

  • srr50 commented on the blog post March Madness Open Thread Part Deaux   34 minutes ago

    Travis Ford spent the 2nd half channeling his inner Rick Barnes — lot’s of standing around on offense while one player tries to generate something off a ball screen — then taking a forced shot.

    So the Big 12 goes 5-2 in Round One.

  • skymonkeyhorn commented on the blog post Barnes worst team   39 minutes ago

    This is the worst coached team ever in Barnes era. Period.
    Worst defense over the whole season,
    Offense sucked big time and the bench coaching was horrible, ransom’s attitude was better then the coach’s overall this season.
    Trips write up pre and post better then the game plan and O schemes.
    Hell we could have

  • srr50 commented on the blog post March Madness Open Thread Part Deaux   43 minutes ago

    advertisers think they will probably get some deals for the additional 32 games that would be added. The feeling is that an ESPN would disount rates somewhat, since they already have a dual revenue stream — advertising dollars and subscription fees.

    It’s all about content for ESPN — even mediocre content.

  • dick commented on the blog post FLV March Madness First Round Bets   44 minutes ago

    a great first round of the tournament from an excitement standpoint, very mediocre from a gambling standpoint.

  • srr50 commented on the blog post March Madness Open Thread Part Deaux   1 hour ago

    Ga. Tech — last in the ACC in free throw shooting at 64% — 13 for 13 tonight.

  • srr50 commented on the blog post March Madness Open Thread Part Deaux   1 hour, 10 minutes ago

    A poll of media buyers from the major agencies overhwhelmingly showed that advertisers believe that the NCAA will expand, and the tournament will join the BCS on ESPN.

  • whiskey wrote a new blog post: The week in news- Pariahs, Malcontents and Power Hour   1 hour, 12 minutes ago

    In the midst of March Madness, St. Patrick’s Day, house guests, nice weather outside and a host of other distractions I still managed to come across quite a few interesting college football stories this week. Here we go.

    Mike Leach and Craig James were apparently in the same room this week and nobody wrestled.  Bummer.  Leach

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  • srr50 commented on the blog post March Madness Open Thread Part Deaux   1 hour, 24 minutes ago

    Anderson finds out what going to the paint is like when there is a big who knows how to defend the low block.

  • srr50 wrote a new blog post: March Madness Open Thread Part Deaux   1 hour, 34 minutes ago

    So far on Day Two, no buzzer beaters, but there was the obligatory #12 over #5 with Cornell thumping Temple 78-65, but the Ivy League school was everyone’s “inside” pick for an upset. Still the day hasn’t come close to generating the action that Thursday had.

    Today
    #5 Texas A&M 69 #12

  • Patrick Bateman commented on the blog post Barnes worst team   1 hour, 59 minutes ago

    I wasn’t trying to say they quit. They just didn’t play hard a lot of the time. Lazy = lack of effort. Example, our transition defense was about 75% effort and 25% stupidity. We loafed down court a lot. The kids didn’t like to lose so they would fight back,

  • Patrick Bateman commented on the blog post Barnes worst team   3 hours, 32 minutes ago

    This the most disappointing team because our talent level is higher than those others.

    The DGib/Buckman team was the least talented, barely, after the injury to LaMarcus and Tucker’s suspension.

    Last year’s team was the hardest to watch. Just watching AJ Abrams, who I don’t hate as much as most, run around like a

  • uthookem commented on the blog post Barnes worst team   3 hours, 38 minutes ago

    Agreed on Damo being my favorite Longhorn basketball player, I wish him all the best.

    This was definitely the worst, by far.

  • Trips Right commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest: Post Mortem   4 hours, 51 minutes ago

    Don’t have time to address each and every comment now, but I wanted to say thanks to everyone for contributing to the site this season. It’s made it a lot of fun to follow a team that’s tough to watch at times.

    Also, I wanted to thank you for the kind words as

  • Hiphopopotamus commented on the blog post Big Dance: Day Two   4 hours, 52 minutes ago

    And that’s all she wrote…relatively boring day so far. A&M out to a nice early lead.

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  • Art Vandelay commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest: Post Mortem   4 hours, 55 minutes ago

    Trips,

    Great work all year long. Love the passion. The fact that you kept writing these (even around the birth of a child), is fantastic, shows your commitment, and is a little freaky. :-)

    I think you showed great restraint in this post. It would have been easier to “go off” on Barnes.

  • ghostofagroundgame commented on the blog post Barnes worst team   4 hours, 56 minutes ago

    Second awesomest thing — Magnus gets his woman to go to Hooters with him.

  • Hiphopopotamus commented on the blog post Big Dance: Day Two   5 hours, 3 minutes ago

    Missouri going to hang on…

    Sconsin clinging to a 2 point cushion

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  • BrickHorn commented on the blog post Barnes worst team   5 hours, 16 minutes ago

    Are there any women who are not skanks at any place on 1960?

  • Hiphopopotamus commented on the blog post Big Dance: Day Two   5 hours, 17 minutes ago

    Make that a 1 point Wofford lead with 4+ to play…

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  • Hiphopopotamus commented on the blog post Big Dance: Day Two   5 hours, 23 minutes ago

    Pitt rolling Oakland.

    Purdue holds on against Siena…I missed it in my bracket, but I’m actually happy for them.

    Missouri pulling away from Clemson (68-60) with 7 to play…knew I should have never bet on Oliver Purnell, even if it was against this Missouri team.

    Amazingly, game of the day so far might be Wisco/Wofford – 2

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  • ghostofagroundgame commented on the blog post Barnes worst team   5 hours, 27 minutes ago

    I ain’t talking about the girls Brick.

  • BrickHorn commented on the blog post Barnes worst team   5 hours, 29 minutes ago

    The girls don’t wear jorts at Hooters. They dress like Richard Simmons.

  • ghostofagroundgame commented on the blog post Barnes worst team   5 hours, 32 minutes ago

    That, by the way, was the best thing that’s come out of this basketball season. Knowledge of Magnus’ intimate familiarity with the service and cut-off threshold at Hooter’s as compared to BWW3. Hooter’s — worse food at a higher price than a titty bar, served with jean shorts, cheaper beer, and more stretch

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    Basketball:

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  • Patrick Bateman commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest: Post Mortem   7 hours, 14 minutes ago

    BiH,

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