Connect with your Facebook Account

• Contact

Football Articles

10

Texas Tech vs. Nevada Wolf Pack Half Ass Preview

Posted by dedfischer on September 4th, 2008 under Football

What do Chris Ault, Bobby Bowden, and Joe Paterno have in common? 

If you said they’re the only three active coaches in the College Football Hall of Fame, then you would be correct. Surprised me too, I wasn’t aware of it. A graduate of Nevada himself, Ault is the epitome of loyalty to his alma mater and this is his third time to come out of retirement to salvage his beloved program. He’s the Terry Funk of college football.

A more notable accomplishment is that Ault is credited with being the inventor of “The Pistol Offense”. Luckily for us, Beergut hangs around here, so if the Barking Carnival ever schedules the Wolf Pack, we’ll be in good hands. However, Texas Tech doesn’t quite have that luxury and dual threat QBs like Colin Kaepernick have given my Red Raiders trouble in the past. Kaepernick is a mountain of a man, he stands 6′6″ and weighs 225, kind of broad in the shoulders and narrow in the hip and everybody knows you don’t give any lip to Big Col. During the offseason, he got in a fight over a Mormon queen and a crushing blow from a huge right hand sent a Susanville man to the Promised Land. I apologize, 14 hours a day listening to AM radio on a 4440 as a youth will do that to you. Kaepernick served his suspension and he’s good to go. I’ve read rumblings that NFL scouts are intrigued by his “live arm”, which is the NBA prospective forward equivalent of “length” these days. 

Nevada rolled up a Tom Osborne-like 426 yards on the ground against Grambling last week with 3 backs eclipsing 69 yards or better, and Kaepernick tacking on 51 with 3 TDs. What does this prove? The Pistol works on black guys, I guess, and Tech has a few of them. Although, safety Anthony Hines was the subject of a stabbing two years ago.   I would expect a coach the caliber of Ault will have done his homework and knows this, so Ruffin McNeill and company should be prepared for a couple of switchblades as well.  

Rocky Long (the Godfather of the 3-3-5) blanked the Pistol in the 2007 Las Vegas Bowl 23-0.  I’m pretty sure that New Mexico is one school that hasn’t outrecruited Tech, so how McNeill’s unit performs in this contest should provide a fair measuring stick as to his competency as a Big 12 DC. The fleet-footed Nebraska defense of 2007 also contained the Wolf Pack in a 52-10 spanking.

Good thing for Texas Tech, Mike Leach doesn’t fuck around with pistols. He prefers utilizing MOABs in these types of fights loaded with a deadly combination of accuracy, Rabid Chupacabras, and Oak Cliff precision.  And unless the sophisticated RADAR jamming systems of Pig Brown’s Columbian regime are involved, it’s proved pretty effective.  Nevada has 8 new starters, 2 of which will be CBs making their first headlining gig in a Division 1 football game. Take cover. A shootout should be expected, but after that sentence, I don’t need to go any further to suggest a victory of the 48-31 nature is in store for Pirateers of the Plains.

Article Tags:

, , ,

More from this Barker


Share This

  • StumbleUpon

10 Responses

  1. Andy's Dad said:

    September 4th, 2008 at 1:15 pm

    Good God man, you’re channeling Jimmy, don’t call me James, Dean, pride of Plainview
    and the bane of barrows’ and gilts’ everywhere.

  2. HenryJames said:

    September 4th, 2008 at 1:20 pm

    A pistol versus a pirate’s sword?

  3. Andy's Dad said:

    September 4th, 2008 at 1:35 pm

    ded,
    Since you’re a fan of Jimmy’s,
    did you know his wife Tammy has
    just been accepted to Jesse Lee’s
    School Of Cosmotology, you know,
    that other college down there in
    Lubbock?

    She got advanced placement
    into the School of
    Frosting and Perms.
    She clep’d out of Pedicures.

  4. dedfischer said:

    September 4th, 2008 at 1:46 pm

    Good for her. The family probably needs the money since they lost a sponsor years ago for Jimmy mis-dropping “Ragsdale Western Wear” on the radio.

  5. WildWillie said:

    September 4th, 2008 at 3:41 pm

    dedfischer, if that’s a John Deere 4440 and it has the enclosed cab with A/C, that doesn’t really count as tractor duty. Your ears have to ring from the noise and your pants need to be brown from dirt before it counts.
    http://www.tractordata.com/farm-tractors/000/0/9/96-john-deere-4440.html

  6. dedfischer said:

    September 4th, 2008 at 3:52 pm

    By 1991, there were a lot more efficient ways to farm than with 80 hp cabless Olivers and one-way plows.

  7. WildWillie said:

    September 4th, 2008 at 4:08 pm

    Ah, a one-way plow… almost singlehandedly responsible for The Dust Bowl. I will condescend to power steering, though.

    But we’ve gotten off track. Continue on with the TTU-Nevada discussion. Sorry.

  8. ChicagoTTU said:

    September 5th, 2008 at 5:12 am

    Oak Cliff precision – genius.

  9. ManInBlack said:

    September 5th, 2008 at 7:20 am

    You had the perfiect opportunity to work in something about shooting a man in Reno and missed it.

  10. dedfischer said:

    September 8th, 2008 at 11:36 am

    I was off by a point.

Leave a Reply

Follow Us

Related Articles

Hot Forum Topics

Activity

  • Farmer Ted commented on the blog post Recruiting the Trenches   ago

    Nice job with this – and welcome to the network, on behalf of Better Off Red. See you at the Fantake retreat in Vegas that Sailor Ripley is sponsoring this summer!

    SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });

  • J Rog commented on the blog post Game Day: Spurs vs. Lakers Open Thread   ago

    Fell apart in the fourth quarter again. Can’t give up 28 points to close out a game. Spurs, Longhorns….heartache once again.

    SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });

  • Farmer Ted commented on the blog post Thoughts on the win in Austin   ago

    Nice job Hiphop. Very nice to win what is probably the toughest game on the schedule handily, although the Hawks obviously caught UT at a good time.

    The Morningstar FT was terrible and hilarious. He said the ball was wet, which clearly means Texas was cheating somehow. Would the second chance off balance leaner

    SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });

  • J Rog wrote a new blog post: Missed Opportunities: Spurs vs. Lakers Recap   ago

    Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.  This game was served up on a silver platter for the Spurs and they managed to fumble it like a Minnesota Viking in the playoffs. 

    I think perhaps Will Ferrell can describe my emotions on the current state of the Spurs season better than I. 

     

    The Spurs hung around for most of the

    SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });

  • Mister Mike commented on the blog post Did Rick Barnes use a plant last night to distract KU players?   ago

    I think KU should demand an immediate investigation. Find someone to get to the bottom of this.

    I volunteer myself.

    SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });

  • Trips Right commented on the blog post Top 8 Teams in College Hoops   ago

    Georgetown?

  • RRR commented on the blog post Thoughts on the win in Austin   ago

    Good write up, hiphop. I love the versatitility of the Morris twins on defense. Xavier Henry is probably the key to a big run in the tournament. If he starts hitting open looks, the inside game will really open up. Post to post passing is fun to watch.

    It’s pretty nice when

    SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });

  • Blake Stansbery commented on the blog post Petrino Building Fence Around Arkansas   5 minutes ago

    Here is more info on Frazier. He is such a great player, and Arkansas needs to land him in a big way.

    http://www.kiehlfrazier15.com/Home.html

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow1mOrMQXYw

    These Highlights are from his Sophomore year, and he had a bigger and better 2009. OH MY!

  • Blake Stansbery commented on the blog post Petrino Building Fence Around Arkansas   5 minutes ago

    Here is more info on Frazier. He is such a great player, and Arkansas needs to land him in a big way.

    http://www.kiehlfrazier15.com/Home.html

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow1mOrMQXYw

    These Highlights are from his Sophomore year, and he had a bigger and better 2009. OH MY!

  • Blake Stansbery commented on the blog post Petrino Building Fence Around Arkansas   5 minutes ago

    Here is more info on Frazier. He is such a great player, and Arkansas needs to land him in a big way.

    http://www.kiehlfrazier15.com/Home.html

    These Highlights are from his Sophomore year, and he had a bigger and better 2009. OH MY!

  • Trips Right commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Kansas: Post-Mortem   8 minutes ago

    It takes more time…unless you’re a Kentucky fan.

  • RRR commented on the blog post Mid-Season Thoughts and OU Pre-Game   9 minutes ago

    Thanks Trips. I’m hoping for lots of Willie Warren trying to be Sheron Collins. TMG in sync is the scariest thing to face in Norman. That or we get beat up on the boards which seems to be recurring theme of Texas Tech road games.

    SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });

  • slugfest commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Kansas: Post-Mortem   10 minutes ago

    I don’t think it’s a case of RB not being able to coach, or doing a poor job of coaching. If you read the entirety of Katz’ blog post, he clearly sounds like a coaching searching for answers — answers that come in the form of players contributing, doing what they are coached to do.

  • Blake Stansbery commented on the blog post John Pelphrey’s Unconventional Approach   17 minutes ago

    I agree that an NIT bid would be acceptable this year, but that if the Razorbacks can get to 20 wins they will have a very good chance at the NCAA Tourney.

    Our RPI is bad, and we have no signature wins.

    However, we have 8 games left on the SEC regular season schedule. If we

  • Blake Stansbery commented on the blog post John Pelphrey’s Unconventional Approach   17 minutes ago

    I agree that an NIT bid would be acceptable this year, but that if the Razorbacks can get to 20 wins they will have a very good chance at the NCAA Tourney.

    Our RPI is bad, and we have no signature wins.

    However, we have 8 games left on the SEC regular season schedule. If we

  • Blake Stansbery commented on the blog post Recruiting the Trenches   22 minutes ago

    TP welcome to the network.

    I like how you broke this down, and identified which positions history shows a high star ranking has proven to be important. I personally feel that after what all the recruiting sites dub their top players that there is a major falloff. We all love that the recruiting sites bring

    SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });

  • Art Vandelay commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Kansas: Post-Mortem   22 minutes ago

    Groundhog Day said:
    February 9th, 2010 at 10:00 am

    “How can everyone on the team have worse basketball sense than my 5th graders? Honestly? We are the dumbest bunch I have ever seen. We weren’t earlier in the year. Hell, Bradley was smartest player, by far, in any of the summer h.s. games. Now he plays

  • Farmer Ted commented on the blog post Petrino Building Fence Around Arkansas   25 minutes ago

    Good stuff JA. But the Huskers call dibs on any dual threat QB named Frazier thankyouverymuch.

  • Hiphopopotamus commented on the blog post Did Rick Barnes use a plant last night to distract KU players?   27 minutes ago

    I’m convinced.

    SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });

  • skymonkeyhorn commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Kansas: Post-Mortem   32 minutes ago

    “No, but I became a man in Juarez.”
    I bet in your fantasy you were the donkey in the show ? No ?

    “Eight Dollar drink-and-drowns, and cans that merely say “beer” in Juarez will turn anyone into a man”
    That is why Trips was drinking river water by the bridge for too many years. In the

  • Darius Pourceau commented on the blog post John Pelphrey’s Unconventional Approach   33 minutes ago

    I don’t think we have to win the SEC tourny necessarily. If we make it to the SEC Tourny championship game and have won about 20 games, I would say a tourny bid would look likely. But that is a pretty big task. I know no one cares about the NIT, but that wouldnt be

  • Nordberg commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Kansas: Post-Mortem   38 minutes ago

    I like Varez Ward, but he doesn’t seem like the magical missing piece to me. And we’ve got like 15 other guys on scholarship. Losing Varez Ward shouldn’t turn the season into a trainwreck.

    Barnes’ “we’re going to fix it” quotes are starting to remind me of Greg Davis talking about fixing the running game. If

  • Mister Mike commented on the blog post Thoughts on the win in Austin   39 minutes ago

    Don’t follow basketball as much as you guys do here, but I did watch that game last night. Using my extensive experience in analyzing the sport (next to none) the game felt like it had that “Big Game” feel to it, but somehow it just didn’t turn out that way. Kind of…lackluster?

    SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });

  • Nordberg commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Kansas: Post-Mortem   48 minutes ago

    How much is Mark Few making? Hell, make a run at Izzo. We can do that kind of shit now.

    Trips that Barnes quote is infuriating, considering that our entire fanbase has been saying that exact same line for months. Has he been hoping this whole time that they’d turn into Augustin and Gibson?

  • Trips Right commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Kansas: Post-Mortem   51 minutes ago

    No, but I became a man in Juarez.

  • Mister Mike commented on the blog post Carl Pelini Remains Red   58 minutes ago

    Personally, I think it’s going to be a long time, if ever, before Carl considers leaving. Him and Bo share some kind of vulcan mind-meld when it comes to the defense. He knows exactly what Bo wants and what he expects and he gets that shit done. I’m glad NU awarded him

    SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });

  • Trips Right commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Kansas: Post-Mortem   59 minutes ago

    EP, Gillispie is a helluva coach but he’s a horrible representation for any marquee program.

  • Trips Right commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Kansas: Post-Mortem   59 minutes ago

    EP, Gillispie is a helluva coach but he’s a horrible representative of any marquee program.

  • skymonkeyhorn commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Kansas: Post-Mortem   59 minutes ago

    Yeah but El Paso / West Texas are known for unknown phenomena , like the lights , strange things happen out in the desert.
    Gilly may be a UFO flier for all we know.
    Look at Trips he is kind of strange with his fantasy on trim and stripper poles, sometimes I think that Trips

  • Hiphopopotamus wrote a new blog post: Thoughts on the win in Austin   1 hour ago

    We weren’t overly impressive, and at the same time, it may have been this team’s most impressive win. The game didn’t have much rhythm. We never shot it well. In fact, our two best guys can’t be much worse from the field. But damned if we didn’t guard them – especially in that first half.

    SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });