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True Ramonce

Posted by HenryJames on February 15th, 2008 under Football

Former Texas running back Ramonce Taylor’s life of crime will be coming to an end.

For five months.

He was already on probation for a state felony drug charge, but he violated his probation (multiple times) and was given five months prison time yesterday. Taylor was dismissed from the Longhorns after he was found with 4 one pound bags of marijuana in his car.

“He had a significant quantity of marijuana for an individual,” Bell County Assistant District Attorney Bob Odom said.


Depends on the individual.

He followed up that performance with ‘two positive drug tests, failure to report to his probation officer, criminal trespassing and entering a nightclub where alcohol is served.’ Or as Ramonce will title his prison essay about it, ‘How I Spent My Weekend.’

Taylor was in trouble from the beginning at Texas. Shit, he was in trouble before he even got to Texas. If the Fulmer Cup guys ever decide to give a Heisman, Taylor should win it. Kirk Bohls will still vote for Reggie Bush (maybe deservedly so this time).

Taylor’s lawyer argued that the best way for him to stay on the straight and narrow was to be given another chance to play pro football. Taylor told the judge he had a recent workout with the Kansas City Chiefs and that they were thinking of signing him as a special teams player.

That makes baby Dick Vermeil cry.

Taylor said the problem was that he didn’t have God in his life.

“I’d rather be a role model and put God first in my life,” Taylor said. “I lost God when I went to college and stopped going to church.”

And that makes baby Jesus cry.

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21 Responses

  1. Facebook User said:

    February 15th, 2008 at 12:27 pm

    Do we win it all without Ramonce?

    Easy answer is yes, we had Vince, but that cat made big plays in every big game.

  2. BrickHorn said:

    February 15th, 2008 at 12:48 pm

    God is gangsta.

  3. Scipio Tex said:

    February 15th, 2008 at 12:55 pm

    Ramonce was Percy Harvin before Percy Harvin was cool.

    If you find yourself losing God, always check the laundry hamper. I’ve found my keys there twice.

  4. Spawn of Cthulhu said:

    February 15th, 2008 at 1:19 pm

    Isn’t 4# of weed “personal use”, if the person using it is Ramonce?
    Or maybe he needs it for glaucoma or chemo?

  5. Crown & Coke said:

    February 15th, 2008 at 1:27 pm

    Yes, we do still win the MNC without Ramonce. We do not, however, win it without Drew Kelson, Limas, or Ryan Hamby.

  6. Chooky said:

    February 15th, 2008 at 1:34 pm

    “If you find yourself losing God, always check the laundry hamper. I’ve found my keys there twice.”

    He certainly wasn’t in his backpack.

  7. Facebook User said:

    February 15th, 2008 at 2:07 pm

  8. Earl T said:

    February 15th, 2008 at 5:35 pm

    Soooooo, this is what Darrel Scott will be missing!

    The Greg Davis “Ganja Express”. Now I get it!

  9. green f1ash said:

    February 16th, 2008 at 6:16 am

    Ramonce was a problem in high school. He started in Temple and was in trouble. They moved him to Belton to get him away from bad characters in Temple. What they didn’t realize was that Ramonce WAS the bad character. The coaches and his grandmother in Belton managed to keep the lid on while he was in Belton but there was no way he was going to stay straight on his own in Austin…no way.

    He will spend the best part of his life in prison or at best on probation.

    Just a freakin shame for a man who had great talent and could have had a great future.

  10. The "T" is for "Teabag" said:

    February 16th, 2008 at 7:24 am

    Hey Earl:

    Here’s what you have to look forward to under Slick Rick.

    http://www.sundaymorningqb.com/story/2008/1/28/93514/7880

  11. Adam Jones said:

    February 16th, 2008 at 7:38 am

    Hey Ramonce,

    Give me a shout and I’ll give you some tips on how to regain the trust and the respect of the NFL. I can also sharpen your decision-making skills and get you and audience with the Commish.

  12. Sorry Earl T said:

    February 16th, 2008 at 11:54 am

    I think I got a hold of some bad stuff and was warping backwards through time. Anyway, on a bad trip a bruin kinda looks like a buffalo. Should sober up before I hit the blogs.

  13. Earl T said:

    February 16th, 2008 at 12:51 pm

    S’ okay! But don’t gimmee that “sober up” bidness, do you think you can fool a Corleone?…I knowed it were wacky tabacky!

    As fer Neweasel, been there, done that!

  14. Minnesotahorn said:

    February 16th, 2008 at 2:49 pm

    Earl, did you watch Ripley’s video link? It’s rough. I’ve probably watched it seven dozen times and with every single one I’ve bit my lip in fear that Ced won’t quite get there in time and somehow we’ll unwin the National Championship.

    But of course he does and we don’t. We still get to go on and win the most hyped and most watched BCS title game yet, with an ending for the ages. And I get to keep that game and that season for the rest of my sportsfan life. Man, that’s fun, you know what I mean?

    Oh right, you don’t. And you’ll never even get close to it.

    Shucks. My bad.

  15. ChrisApplewhite said:

    February 16th, 2008 at 5:50 pm

    Trying to have real discussion with flame baiter: -1 points.

  16. Woody Bombay said:

    February 16th, 2008 at 6:08 pm

    “‘If you find yourself losing God, always check the laundry hamper. I’ve found my keys there twice.’

    He certainly wasn’t in his backpack.”

    Bob Marley’s ghost disagrees.

  17. Minnesotahorn said:

    February 16th, 2008 at 7:23 pm

    I’m posting drunk. Convention’s long gone.

  18. Yobel said:

    February 16th, 2008 at 9:22 pm

    “Taylor was dismissed from the Longhorns after he was found with 4 one pound bags of marijuana in his car.”

    Henry, Not that it matter much, RT was already kicked off the team due to academics. Mack made a last ditch effort and offered to put Ramonce on the learning disabilities programs.

    To be quite honest, I am surprised RT lasted as long as he did with two seasons of eligibility. He was in constant trouble and if he had stayed longer, no telling what other players he might have influenced into his idiotic extracurricular activities. Two years was more than enough with that cancer.

    Greenf1ash is correct. His grandmother added some stability until she died.

  19. scagnetti said:

    February 16th, 2008 at 11:18 pm

    and then his momma collapses in court while fainting, only to hit her head on the ground and wake up…
    the judge then basically says, look what you did to yer mother.
    prollly the same damned judge that put me away for a flippin proto-pipe my buddy chad slater left in the glove box of my retarded bronco II in 1998…
    she toes a hard line, bruthas!

  20. Capt. Insano said:

    February 17th, 2008 at 10:48 am

    She passed out because she realized her meal ticket just walked himself into a jail cell. Maybe she can piggy back off of Jamaal’s family when they cash in on his 3rd round money.

  21. jonboy said:

    February 17th, 2008 at 11:15 am

    ramonce will always be good in my book. he scored a TD in some important game. good luck in prison

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