Connect with your Facebook Account

• Contact

Football Articles

28

Texas Football: Iowa State Post-Mortem

Posted by Scipio Tex on October 16th, 2007 under Football

Our opening offensive play – a 58 yard broken play McCoy TD pass to Jordan Shipley – told us all we needed to know about the eventual outcome of the game, the quality of Iowa St, the bizarre consistency of a Gene Chizik defense, the current state of our offense, and the unyielding inanity of Dave Lapham. I’m not sure what was more brutal: Dave Lapham or the crowd shots of Iowa State’s fat female albino fan base.

There are a number of things to be encouraged by after this game, but our renewed optimism, which will be compounded by an easy win in Waco, should be tempered by the realization that we’ve played seven teams and our record against the five shitty ones is 5-0; our record against the two that are above average and/or good is 0-2. We’re bullies! Assuming we hold true to form, that presages wins over Baylor, Nebraska, and A&M and a loss to Texas Tech. Oklahoma State hasn’t quite figured out what they are – your guess is as good as mine as to which column they belong to at the moment. A Cotton Bowl or Holiday Bowl berth screams loss to me though I hold out for individual team matchups to be sure, while a Big 10 rematch in San Antonio in the Alamo says win. This year’s Big 10 is as daunting as Enchanted Rock is to a sherpa.

Reporter
Nozing Sherpa carries the burden of Big 10 disappointment

There. That’s the season for you – you don’t even need to watch the rest of our games. Scalp your tickets and invest that revenue in Burmese emerging markets. Best realistic finish: 10-3. Worst realistic finish: 9-4. 11-2 would be an achievement while 8-5 would result in a complete Fulmerization of our program’s expectations.

Reporter
The composition of Tennessee Defense

Offense

Gene Chizik’s game day Belichickian wardrobe inspiration (I think he was sporting the sweatshirt that Jennifer Beals wore in Flashdance) didn’t translate over to defensive acumen. It appears that Greg Davis noticed that Chizik is still the most overrated defensive mind in college football and won’t go to a dime even when we’re in a five WR offense. Chizik is still married to the concept of LBs covering slot receivers and safeties peeking into the backfield even when they’re in two deep. They bite if you just think the words “play fake.” Since NFL DBs are nowhere to be found in Ames, it’s fairly predictable that any team that can throw a spiral to a black man (or an injury prone white man) will face rape them. We gouged their defense at will with every called play seemingly resulting in 10 yards and every fucked up play a touchdown. Such is the way of a GD offense. If only we could put the near sack spinning knee almost touched ground while WR breaks route up play into our playbook.

Reporter
Chizik defense: What a feeling!

We decided to punish Jamaal Charles for his fumbling. Formationally. Finley also participated in that punishment though his major offense to date has been running for 55 yards every time he catches the ball in stride while headed upfield.

The line protected well, but I’m unsure as to whether this was continued improvement or revealing of the Cyclone’s utter helplessness. It’s nice to see Ulatoski back in the mix and we’re getting good play from Dockery, who has been our best OL to date. We get very little push at the point of attack in the running game except for Dockery and I’m fairly comfortable with being a 40+ pass attempts per game offense – I have zero interest in exploring balance simply for its own sake. We are what we are this bunch, we should shrug and embrace it – even though I love the running game like a whore loves crack.

The question of who will replace Limas Sweed has a pretty clear answer: Everyone. It was nice to see Billy Pittman back, Jordan Shipley without a limp, and Nate Jones continuing to produce. Quan Cosby continues to make his case for the best hands for a wide receiver in Texas history (Pat Fitzgerald and David Thomas can file their protests for TE inclusion at the conclusion of this post) and yeah, he’s not an explosive guy, but if you’re not a Quan fan, you don’t like football. He blocks like a demon as well. We have a very solid receiving corps, but I think we’ll find that if we play a team with an actual secondary – which we may not until a bowl game – that our #1 and #2 are possession guys. That’s not a knock on them – they are what they are – but teams won’t respect us in more conventional formations without a deep threat. Four and five wide sets give us space by formation that we can’t get with our legs. Why Finley isn’t a part of that mix is mystifying, but that’s another post.

Defense

Killebrew contributed 30 yards of personal fouls, making him Iowa State’s 2nd most productive player behind Scales. Derry had one nice pressure on Meyer, but then contributed a couple of stunts off of the edge that looked like a burglar in clogs trying to sneak past a sleeping mastiff on hardwoods. Bobino actually played a decent ball game though that’s best understood within the context that at this point Akina is happy to run blitz him into the center on every snap in lieu of MacDuff actually teaching him to play LB. Akina has been more influenced by Carl Reese than Greg Robinson and that’s not a good thing. MacDuff continues to be a puzzling hire. I think what this staff needs is more guys with grey hair, a love of golf, a pension date circled on their calendar, and irritable bowel syndrome.

Reporter
Inspiring!

Sergio Kindle has none of those things. His second half was fun to watch. He has great energy and range and basically just runs around talking shit and trying to knock people unconscious. This strikes our coaches as gauche and we will continue to start Renaissance Men in his place so that he gets the message that he should take up bonsai trimming, spelunking, or ashtanga yoga so that the Fox color guy has something inane to talk about on a crucial 3rd and 1.

The secondary was good. Predictably, purging Chizik has been good for us overall. Our DBs no longer chase yarn or shiny objects. It’s written objectively all over our numbers and qualitatively in our play. Brandon Foster is a Longhorn version of Jay Brooks. Ryan Palmer is a physical Ewok. Watching him cover Todd Blythe was like seeing Emmanuel Lewis shut down Mark Eaton in the paint. Erick Jackson covers like a White Lion cover band. The only thing that stands between Marcus Griffin and a NFL career is his combine run. Deion Beasley has been a (deserved) whipping boy in a few games, but defensive back is definitely one position where experience, growing into your body, and the acquisition of skills can transform a player. Don’t give up on him yet.

The front four was very solid. The issue we’re facing now – with us since K-State – is that teams are simply not blocking our LBs, preferring to put an extra body on the playside DL. Makes sense. That’s what I’d do. That makes for some quiet games from them. From a pass rushing standpoint, we’re still not committing to pressure from our DE’s on neutral downs (i.e. 2nd and 8 – equal chance of run or pass). This has a lot to do with our LB play. It’s a shame really. I think we’re wasting some opportunities afforded by one of the better DL groups in the country.

Nevertheless, a 56-3 win is good fun. Even if it was easier than Carmen Electra.

Reporter
There are no girls like this in Ames.

On to Waco.

Article Tags:

, , , , , , , , , ,

More from this Barker


Share This

  • StumbleUpon

28 Responses

  1. Crown & Coke said:

    October 16th, 2007 at 9:52 am

    “Well Clark…I haven’t seen a beatin’ like that since somebody put a banana in my pants and turned a monkey loose.”

    Very glad to see Sergio getting some positive recognition. He is clearly a superstar in the making.

    Also, any thoughts on John Chiles’ performance?

  2. Scipio Tex said:

    October 16th, 2007 at 9:56 am

    My thoughts are that he needs the most development throwing the ball and that our starting QB is fragile. So, naturally, when he’s in the game we don’t throw the ball.

    I think he’s a gifted athlete. I’m not sure if anyone really knows how he can develop as a passer. The best way to know would be to…let…him…throw?

  3. BrickHorn said:

    October 16th, 2007 at 10:02 am

    “If only we could put the near sack spinning knee almost touched ground while WR breaks route up play into our playbook.”

    I’m pretty sure that exact play is in rpongett’s playbook.

  4. Quentin Skinner said:

    October 16th, 2007 at 10:17 am

    Wherre’s the OU postmortem? Iowa State sucks.

  5. Macanudo said:

    October 16th, 2007 at 10:19 am

    “There are no girls like this in Ames.” Sure there are. They just happened to be wearing Longhorn Cheerleading outfits and were out of there when the game ended.

  6. bartoncreek said:

    October 16th, 2007 at 11:12 am

    Are we sure that MacDuff even exists? Me thinks he is the coaching version of Tinkles.

  7. KilgoreTrout said:

    October 16th, 2007 at 11:49 am

    I agree with the Dave Lapham comments, however, my personal Fox Sports non favorite is Petros Papadakis. Forget waterboarding, just force the terrorists to listen to him for 3 hours and they’ll spill their guts.

  8. Grange95 said:

    October 16th, 2007 at 12:19 pm

    You think your offense looked good against ISU, wait ’til you get my hapless Huskers. Right now, I’m fairly confident Li’l Gnomie and C-Grove think they are coaching a flag football team–all fancy plays on O, no tackling on D. Y’all can thank those two Supergeniuses for getting Mack a 5 year contract extension after he hangs 70+ on the Huskers at home for the big-time boosters.

    To put the Husker ineptitude in perspective, I think Li’l Gnomie has lost more conference games by more combined points in 3.5 seasons than the Huskers had lost in the preceding 34 years of my existence. My liver has aged three decades from all the Jack Daniels I’ve consumed to numb the pain that started with the Colorado ‘02 debacle …

    Good luck with Illinois in the Alamo Bowl.

  9. Grange95 said:

    October 16th, 2007 at 12:29 pm

    Pardon me. Typo in previous post. The first sign of the apocalypse was the Colorado debacle of 2001.

  10. Woody Bombay said:

    October 16th, 2007 at 1:50 pm

    Grange,
    Mack is getting that extension if he beats the Huskers by two. Or even if you guys win. Don’t sweat it.

  11. The Clapper said:

    October 16th, 2007 at 1:55 pm

    ISU was dead before we got there. Why no OU post mortem?

  12. Superfan said:

    October 16th, 2007 at 2:18 pm

    Didn’t one of you guys label Ryan Palmer as the “Death Ewok?” I like that nickname.

  13. Gooba said:

    October 16th, 2007 at 2:36 pm

    Other than the fact that we won, this game had absolutely no meaning and was utterly worthless for any sort of analysis at all. The next one, ditto. The next one, probably also. Wake me up after the Nebraska game.

  14. HenryJames said:

    October 16th, 2007 at 2:41 pm

    Scipio is the Greg Davis of analysis. You know he saves his best work for the Rices and Iowa States.

  15. Don't Taze Me Bro said:

    October 16th, 2007 at 7:34 pm

    Man, tech is going to have a face raping w/ our LB’s. Remember what Wes Welker did to us in the underneath routes? I am betting at least uh all my “units” on tech to cover and my bro’s unit to a face raping.

  16. jimmyjazz said:

    October 16th, 2007 at 7:44 pm

    I give it a B+.

    Not up to your best through “Offense”, but you really stepped it up in the 2nd half to put it away. There is evidence of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale in my general vicinity, and it ain’t in the bottle. Gracias.

  17. Texoz said:

    October 16th, 2007 at 7:53 pm

    Was it face rape, face rake or face cake?

    Regardless, they all sound like an urban dictionary derivative of “gaycial.”

  18. TLR said:

    October 16th, 2007 at 8:10 pm

    Pongetti sums it up best.

    “I think you guys might be taking it a little too seriously. A lot in there isn’t factual, but it’s a humor piece. Things need to be cast in a certain light for the comedy references and comparisons to work.”

    Except that it’s a “humor piece” that doesn’t provide many laughs.

  19. HenryJames said:

    October 17th, 2007 at 3:58 am

    You’re still posting?

    TLR

    ChrisApplewhite, I notice you and others like to say Pongetti doesn’t know anything but then you never answer why he keeps proving your statements wrong with simple video, especially Texasfootball here, who was making all kinds of ridiculous claims that are clearly false. HAHAHAHAHA is not an answer. Texasfootball was talking out of his rear end, Pongetti proved it, and now Texasfootball suddenly is nowhere to be found to comment on his own mistakes.

  20. bartoncreek said:

    October 17th, 2007 at 5:03 am

    Trannies Love Rob?

  21. utstudboy said:

    October 17th, 2007 at 5:28 am

    Henry James your sarcasm is so good that I can’t tell when you are doing it

  22. BrickHorn said:

    October 17th, 2007 at 6:06 am

    Scipio, given all the egregious factual errors in your post, I’m starting to think that you don’t know a damned thing about Tivos or uploading Tivo video clips to the interwebs.

  23. joe fan said:

    October 17th, 2007 at 8:10 am

    (a) I vote Alfred Jackson to that all-hands team (perhaps he was b4 your time);

    (b) Iowa must really suck;

    (c) If Carmen Electra is easy then please tell me where to line up.

  24. Uncle Rico said:

    October 17th, 2007 at 8:40 am

    I read this board now just to see what TLR says.

  25. Hookah said:

    October 18th, 2007 at 12:48 am

    Henry James and Rob Pongetti are the same person

  26. Hookah said:

    October 18th, 2007 at 12:48 am

    in bed

  27. Macanudo said:

    October 19th, 2007 at 8:56 pm

    You would know.

  28. Texas sux said:

    August 13th, 2008 at 7:50 pm

    Texas sucks and you know it

Leave a Reply

Follow Us

Related Articles

Hot Forum Topics

Activity

  • Blake Stansbery commented on the blog post Recruiting the Trenches   ago

    TP welcome to the network.

    I like how you broke this down, and identified which positions history shows a high star ranking has proven to be important. I personally feel that after what all the recruiting sites dub their top players that there is a major falloff. We all love that the recruiting sites bring

    SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });

  • Hiphopopotamus commented on the blog post Did Rick Barnes use a plant last night to distract KU players?   ago

    I’m convinced.

    SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });

  • Mister Mike commented on the blog post Thoughts on the win in Austin   ago

    Don’t follow basketball as much as you guys do here, but I did watch that game last night. Using my extensive experience in analyzing the sport (next to none) the game felt like it had that “Big Game” feel to it, but somehow it just didn’t turn out that way. Kind of…lackluster?

    SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });

  • Hiphopopotamus wrote a new blog post: Thoughts on the win in Austin   ago

    We weren’t overly impressive, and at the same time, it may have been this team’s most impressive win. The game didn’t have much rhythm. We never shot it well. In fact, our two best guys can’t be much worse from the field. But damned if we didn’t guard them – especially in that first half.

    SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });

  • Trips Right commented on the blog post Did Rick Barnes use a plant last night to distract KU players?   4 minutes ago

    Wholesome goodness. Thanks for posting.

    SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });

  • HenryJames commented on the blog post Another night, another would-be hero   5 minutes ago

    I think Kiper has Okung too high at number five. He’s a right tackle in the NFL, and no one will take a RT that high.

  • skymonkeyhorn commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Kansas: Post-Mortem   10 minutes ago

    Basketball is a simple game of passing,dribbling,catching,shooting and denying the other team from scoring. Simple yet played by chess masters that know what they have (known quantities) in players,chemistry, and heart (will to win).
    Maybe they are also an unknown phenomena to the stubborn, mad,lusting minds of entrenched coaches that are playing the games

  • uthookem commented on the blog post 2011 Texas Football Recruiting   24 minutes ago

    I consider this thread incomplete until a picture of Barney Frank is added.

  • HenryJames commented on the blog post Scholarship Numbers & Junior Days   24 minutes ago

    I summer in Brookshire.

  • Texastough commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Kansas: Post-Mortem   44 minutes ago

    “As long as he is putting teams into the tourney every year, I think he is untouchable. ”

    Thats basically the equivalent of being one of the top six or seven Big 12 teams, which doesn’t cut it. I think he has to average top 2-3 in Big12 and sweet 16 or so to be

  • Bob in Houston commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Kansas: Post-Mortem   50 minutes ago

    Bob, essentially what you are saying is that we are not a well coached basketball team. I agree.

    Jordan Hamilton is a selfish and lazy player. He is a terrible fit to play for Barnes. Not sure if either one will be around next season at this rate.

    I’ve seen too much player development and too much

  • skymonkeyhorn commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Kansas: Post-Mortem   51 minutes ago

    Oh ! Trips your one liners are getting very very good in a nice sort of way. This was a great one.
    Almost a classic. “ponderos, shouldn’t you be supersizing something somewhere?”
    Keep up the good work……
    “Admirable that you continue to attempt an analysis with some type of hope for them”

  • Farmer Ted commented on the blog post ”Bo Made Me Cry.”   52 minutes ago

    Good read, Mike. There’s a lot of truth in there. I do believe that one of the reasons that Florida’s recruiting class was rated so highly is that 100% of their signees were offered scholarships by Florida. If Florida loses interest in a kid, his stock drops a bit. That’s defensible

    SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });

  • Ag_in_TX wrote a new blog post: Did Rick Barnes use a plant last night to distract KU players?   1 hour, 2 minutes ago

    If you watched the game, and if you have one drop of testosterone in your bloodstream, you couldn’t have missed her. The redhead with huge tracts of land – right behind the KU bench – who stood for every time out and stared at the KU players.

    She stuck out like a sore thumb. Never

    SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });

  • Darius Pourceau commented on the blog post Recruiting the Trenches   1 hour, 4 minutes ago

    Welcome to the site guys! Aaron Rodgers is the man.

    http://bornhogwild.fantake.com/

    SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });

  • Art Vandelay commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Kansas: Post-Mortem   1 hour, 6 minutes ago

    Bob, essentially what you are saying is that we are not a well coached basketball team. I agree.

    Jordan Hamilton is a selfish and lazy player. He is a terrible fit to play for Barnes. Not sure if either one will be around next season at this rate.

    We went scoreless for 10:54 during

  • Trips Right commented on the blog post 2011 Texas Football Recruiting   1 hour, 16 minutes ago

    Well done. The Barney Frank line blindsided me like a strain of juarez clap. Funny stuff.

    I’d like for us to go out of state for a QB and at least 1 maybe two CB’s. Is Quandre tall enough to play corner or angry enough to play safety?

    Rumor around the campfire is

  • skymonkeyhorn commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Kansas: Post-Mortem   1 hour, 29 minutes ago

    I feel our pain…
    Was Barnes wearing a helmet last night. I did not notice as I was in awe of the blood being spilled
    on the floor for almost 11 minutes without a point.
    Coach Knight was reading this blogs out loud for TV.
    The most insightful was that Barnes needs to go to the 7-8

  • James commented on the blog post 2011 Texas Football Recruiting   1 hour, 31 minutes ago

    Barney Frank and Mormon quips in the same post. My Tuesday is complete.

    Texas HS football is going through a phase (era?) where the best athlete talent is being put on offense. DBs aren’t being developed in vast quantities. Why wouldn’t you go after a couple OOS DBs?

  • Trips Right commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Kansas: Post-Mortem   1 hour, 34 minutes ago

    ponderos, shouldn’t you be supersizing something somewhere?

  • Trips Right commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Kansas: Post-Mortem   1 hour, 36 minutes ago

    Gillispie’s a mid-major clown because of his off the court indiscretions. Seriously, The University of Texas is much too high profile to risk its brand and image with this moron. And anyone that mentions Augie Garrido should be permabanned the intertubes. The situations aren’t remotely similar.

    If you want to go down the

  • Trips Right commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Kansas: Post-Mortem   1 hour, 42 minutes ago

    Leonidas, none of those points came against Dex. Boxscores aren’t reality, they’re like porn movies. If porn was real everyone would be a plummer.

    As for Pittman on offense, Aldrich wasn’t playing him straight up, he was getting a double virtually everytime down. That’s not Aldrich’s fault but it’s reality.

    Pittman rarely

  • Mister Mike commented on the blog post Nebraska Fits the Profile of the 2010 National Champion   1 hour, 48 minutes ago

    Good line. What is the thinking on his ability vs. the injury?

    It’s funny you should ask. I’m working on putting something together right now that will be discussing this very topic. I know you’re waiting with bated breath for it too. Admit it.

    SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });

  • Bob in Houston commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Kansas: Post-Mortem   2 hours, 10 minutes ago

    Should be “complementary” scorers. Oh well.

  • Bob in Houston commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Kansas: Post-Mortem   2 hours, 13 minutes ago

    OK, I was there. Not the best seat in the house, but not a bad one either.

    Trips hit part of what struck me over and over. KU had offensive options/outlets when Texas forced them into trouble (which happened quite a bit, as the stats showed that Texas did bring defense last night), and the

  • Mister Mike wrote a new blog post: ”Bo Made Me Cry.”   2 hours, 52 minutes ago

    At least, that’s the line I would expect to hear from Rivals or Scouts if they were in a relationship with Bo Pelini and ended up going to Dr. Phil to try and work out their differences. Of course, that would never happen because Bo would’ve just laughed, packed her shit up, and thrown it

    SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });

  • HenryJames commented on the blog post Scholarship Numbers & Junior Days   3 hours, 5 minutes ago

    CTJ,

    Rivals doesn’t think there are any elite players in Texas this year. Do you think we’ll have to go out of state to compensate?

    Thanks!

  • D W commented on the blog post Another night, another would-be hero   3 hours, 57 minutes ago

    Hamilton is so stupid on the court it makes my teeth hurt.

  • Sailor Ripley commented on the blog post Top 8 Teams in College Hoops   6 hours, 48 minutes ago

    Yeah, I think we can scratch Texas out of there. Who takes place 8?

  • Sailor Ripley commented on the blog post Looking at Texas   7 hours, 1 minute ago

    You guys have a basketball team. Is it Indianapolis this year?

    SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ””, url: ”” });