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Posted by Scipio Tex on September 22nd, 2007 under Football
A thousand curses upon the pederasts at Fox Sports who scheduled a Texas Tech/Oklahoma St trackfest as if it’s going to run in a tidy two and a half hours. Harrell is now over 600 yards passing. Texas Tech’s defense is series of holograms.
However, I refuse to let the bastards win and I will liveblog with unrestrained fury once Texas Tech stops throwing incompletions. Mike Crabtree drops the game winning pass.
We’re now up 7-0. JC opened up with a fumble but our defense held. McCoy is 7 of 8 for 60 yards. Nice to see we’re continuing to go down the field with authority.
AND WE’RE LIVE!
I think we’re going to have a nice rout to get some early season frustration out.
Ryan Bailey nails a 43 yard field goal. He’s now 8 of 10 this year. Now up 10-0.
Going from Erin Andrews to Emily Jones as sideline reporter is like getting sea rations after dining in Napa.
Rice ball.
Dillard is a good player – uses one of our CBs (Beasley?) in the flat.
Miller and Houston make a great play on a Rice horizontal run. Clement sacked. Rice will punt.
Texas ball. Colt is 7 of 10 for 61 so far. Heisman?
On 2nd and 6, we run an out dink-and-dunk for 9.
We finally attempt a deep pass, JC drops a sure touchdown.
This inspires us to dink further, sailing the ball in the flat for 5 to Nate Jones.
3rd and 5 is batted down – we punt.
Colt is now 9 of 14 for 76 yards. Wow.
Sergio Kindle makes a nice tackle. He then walks the hash in a perfect straight line.
Nothing compels our staff to play those young linebackers like an opposing roster that averages 1400 on the SAT.
2nd quarter
Clement converts on 3rd down as the WR makes a bobbling catch.
Rice is treating Beasley like an Atkins diet.
Eddie Jones gets a nice sack on Clement. Good wheels on Eddie.
Beasley has nice coverage on Dixon. Incomplete.
The entire young unit of LBs is on the field right now. Muck, Norton, Kindle. I think I just caught the vapors.
They look like linebackers.
3rd and 17. Clement gets nailed by Eddie Jones as he throws to Dillard. Beasley is right there and makes the play on the ball for an incompletion. Nice redemption for Deion on this series. He threws the carbs out on that series.
The Rice punter punts negatively. Not in the sense that he has a bad attitude either.
Colt hits Limas on the run in single coverage (is this legal?). Limas does a pirouette to turn the defender’s hips and sprints down the sideline for a 40+ gain. A hint of cleat catches the sideline and he should be ruled out of bounds around the 3 yard line.
He is.
Colt is now 10 of 15 for 124. Nice. If JC makes his easy catch, Colt’s numbers are sterling.
Great push up front for an easy JC TD run. We’re up 17-0.
Rice ball. We’re continuing to have trouble with the zone read QB keep. Clements goes for 8.
We play it well there. 3rd and 2.
QB lead run for the first. Griffin gets a nice pop.
Clement has all day to throw. Find the open WR.
Outstanding interception by Marcus Griffin. Extraordinary play on the ball. He has been our best guy in the secondary this year.
A wheel route to Oingo Boingo. Beautifully thrown by Colt. 35 yards. We’re downfield assassins.
Rice sacks McCoy. No one blew that. We just had an open set and Rice outnumbered us at the LOS. That sack was on Colt. He needs to know numbers when we’re lining up 5 at WR.
We hit Sweed on the run again. I just fainted. We’re short of the first though.
Limas looks like he’s feeling better. Good news.
Ryan Bailey nails a 52 yarder! He’s now 9 of 11 on the year. 20-0 now.
Somewhere Michael Pollak just pumped his fist in pure joy.
Rice ball.
Awesome play by Muck. Jesus that guy is quick. That’s linebacking. Beautiful scrape.
Rice is now in 3rd and long. Exacerbates it with a false start.
The defense is looking good. The young LB’s bring a completely different element to our game.
We’re getting the offense into 2nd and long early and it’s fait accompli from there.
Robert Killebrew is weeping like Iron Eyes Cody right now.
Colt hits Limas downfield for an easy 53 yard TD.
Limas just ran right over the safety help. The Rice safety squatted like a Khmer tribesman thinking Sweed would break off his route. 27-0 good guys.
Kindle has wheels. Watch him change his angle of pursuit and run down the KO returner. Crom he’s fast.
Rice ball.
Beasley is getting his sea legs now.
Clement keeps on the zone read for a first down. Notice who the LBs are?
Killebrew runs in the wrong direction and gets blocked in the back.
Motherfucker, that was comedy.
Big Frank Okam tackles Clement by his ear.
Lamarr Houston gets a sack coming off of the edge like he was on methamphetamine.
We’re getting a lot of pressure. Hey, the QB is named Chase. What do you expect to happen?
Jordan Shipley almost gets a TD pass. Shockingly, he remains intact.
We hit Nate Jones on a delay route. Nice gain.
Great interior blocking once again in goalline. Easy walk in TD for JC. We’re up 34-0.
JC is 11 for 67 and 2 TD.
Bring on John Chiles and Vondrell McGee.
Rice ball.
Kindle shaken up? Or inebriated.
Jared Norton makes a tackle.
Roderick Muckelroy gets a pick on the tipped ball from Thomas Marshall and shows some nice acceleration on the return.
Young LBs, Mack.
McCoy goes balls out for Sweed again. Touchdown. 41-0.
Colt says all praise to Allah. He’s 17 of 23 for 295 with 3 TDs.
Rice gets a good KOR.
Flagged late hit. Bobino. Upperclassman leadership.
Beasley backslides as Dixon torches him for 6. 41-7.
3rd quarter
Rice runs for 5. Bobino takes himself out of the play with an anti-Pythagorian angle.
Lokey destroys the interior run.
3rd down – Palmer defends the play capably, skying to the fullest extent of his Ewokian height.
Quan Cosby has a nice return. I think I’m one of the few Longhorn fans on the planet who doesn’t like him at PR. He’s not an explosive guy.
Texas ball.
We hit Finley for a short gain and then follow with Colt on the keeper. Why?
Colt throws a ball at his WR’s buttock. The next play he one hops to Cosby on a WR screen.
Good effort by Oingo Boingo getting the first. Shot out to Peter Bean.
Colt rag arms another ball. What’s up, Colt?
JC for -1 on the horizontal explosion.
Colt throws a perfect ball to Nate Jones. Just when you start talking shit, Colt bitchslaps the live blog. Nice one, Colt.
JC runs in an easy gimme. Nice blocking again. JC is now 14 for 72 for 3 TDs. Time to put him on the pine and play McGee.
Bring on Chiles.
Bring on Chiles.
Bring on Chiles.
Rice beat us in ‘94. God, I’d blocked it out. It’s all coming back. Shea Morenz, Kalu getting another sack, the drops…the rain.
I’m back after weeping a little.
Clement was the QB at Alamo Heights. He’s familiar with being beaten like a mule.
Mack Brown talking about Killebrew: “He’s a chef.” With a recipe whiffed tackles seasoned by personal fouls.
He’s also singlehandedly won us a MNC.
Thanks, Mack.
Beasley worked again. Maybe Foster is better.
More of Killebrew’s recipes…
Stumble Souffle. Wrong Way Rutabagas. Bad Technique Tarts.
John Chiles. Word.
Nice throw. Dropped ball.
Chiles a wizard on the keeper bootleg. He can run.
Keeps on the zone read for an easy 11. He can run.
Runs again for 7.
We know he can run. It would be healthy for his development to get him throwing.
Vondrell has a nice run.
Another. He plants and goes. That’s what I saw of him all through high school and he can translate it to this level easily.
TD run. See previous comment. That’s a running back. Well-suited to the zone read and surprisingly strong.
55-7, good guys. We’re getting some frustration out on Rice. Poor bastards.
Rice ball.
We bust a coverage. Garbage time.
Acho gets two batted passes in a row, destroying that series. How many wildly athletic guys do we have at 6′3″ 250 at DE? It’s an embarrassment of riches.
Speaking of…Vondrell McGee again. This guy is special. Yes, I know it’s Rice. Fuck off.
Vondrell again. Look at how quickly he gets into his gear.
All 11 on the field are either redshirt or true freshmen.
Ryan Bailey get a field goal. 58-7.
Rice ball.
Jared Norton knocks the carbs out of a Rice player.
Acho credited with a fumble sack. We’ll take stats any way we can get ‘em.
Dustin Earnest is a terrible blitzer.
Chykie Brown looks good out there. I’m not sure he knows what’s happening, but he looks the part.
Texas ball.
I think we’re going to pull this one out. I just have a feeling.
Melton gets a TFL. Well, he does love contact.
Norton has a manly tackle again.
Rice scores. 58-14.
We’re quitters.
This animatronic fox is insistent that I could be making $5,000 a day working from my home. Why is a Texas/Rice matchup considered a prime audience for this message? In any event, there is a couple that vouches for the fox’s veracity and they’re sitting in front of a pool. A pool.
David Bailiff looks like Tom Berenger if he completely let himself go.
Sherrod Harris is in. Hands off to Antwan Cobb on consecutive downs. He doesn’t get the Pfirst.
3rd down. Harris is sacked after our fake counter play action blows up.
RAHHHHHH!!!! WHERE IS OUR INTENSITY? We’ll never beat KSU playing like this. With our 3rd teamers.
Several starters have put up hammocks on the sideline.
Doing a piece on Matt Nader. Tough deal for that kid. A lot of people think he’d have been a starter next year. He looks like Seth Rogen.
Kelson on the blitz nails the QB. What could have been, Drew.
I think we have the ball again. I was napping.
Cool, we’re winning. Go Horns. Where am I?
Mack looks old. I think our whiny asses are responsible for that. Sorry, dude.
Nevertheless, a good win. We got a lot of the things we need from this game: a confident Colt, a renewed Limas, extensive young LB play, John Chiles with wet feet and a burned shirt, and Vondrell McGee auditioning for 10 carries per game when it matters.
Huzza.
Ghost of Pitbull said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 3:28 pm
Direct TV 667 – Fox Sports Plus
jimmyjazz said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 3:31 pm
Jamaal Charles needs to masturbate more.
jimmyjazz said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 3:41 pm
Was that actually John Chiles?
Ghost of Pitbull said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 3:55 pm
Great read, reaction, and tackle by Kindle with 2 guys in his zone in that last play of the 1st quarter.
Macanudo said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:01 pm
I need more beer
PB at BON said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:05 pm
I’m encouraged. Yeah, it’s Rice, but the best talent is on the field. We’ll see if it sticks, but at least the coaches are doing what they said they would.
Macanudo said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:09 pm
Encouraged? Ouch.
PB at BON said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:11 pm
Antwaan Cobb playing solid football today.
jimmyjazz said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:13 pm
The alternate broadcast on DISH is from the Bay Area. I feel like I’m watching a travelogue.
PB at BON said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:14 pm
This needs to be the Vondrell McGee show from here on out. Him and Chiles. Soon.
HornsHornsHorns said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:16 pm
3 elder LB’s in. Rice first down.
PB at BON said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:16 pm
Veteran LBs return. 1st down Rice!
Macanudo said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:18 pm
Wow. That was a pick of epic proportions.
PB at BON said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:19 pm
Nice PA and release to OG. Love that kid.
jimmyjazz said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:19 pm
Marcus Griffin is a good-looking kid. You know, in a totally hetero kind of way.
jimmyjazz said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:21 pm
I also have much man-love for Limas Sweed and Ryan Bailey. Mother F . . .
Macanudo said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:21 pm
52 yards? Are you kidding me?
kevwun said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:24 pm
It landed on the crossbar and bounced through.
Charles Nelson Reilly said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:24 pm
Great, 3rd and 19. Colt throws for 10. Does anyone have any doubt who would win a fight to death between Colt or Graham Harrell.
jimmyjazz said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:25 pm
Bailey just reads the articles.
jimmyjazz said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:25 pm
OK, I’m drunk.
PB at BON said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:27 pm
I wonder if they’ll even let Killebrew watch the tape of this game. Muck is the man.
HornsHornsHorns said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:28 pm
3 younger LBs in. 3 and out Rice. A trend is developing.
jimmyjazz said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:28 pm
A few minutes ago, Kill chastised one of our guys who merely popped the shit out of a Rice player without spearing him or following up with an ear bite or crotch grab.
jimmyjazz said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:29 pm
Cosby’s decisions to return or fair catch punts are derived from a random number generator.
Macanudo said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:29 pm
Triple Horns, those kinds of trends never stopped Mack before.
kevwun said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:32 pm
Maybe next week the youngins will get 2 out of every 3 series. Baby steps, Mack.
HornsHornsHorns said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:32 pm
Receivers are catching the ball whilst moving. Good things are happening. Yet another trend.
jimmyjazz said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:32 pm
Our defensive line is transferring to Oxford.
Hey, Sweed outran an accountant! TD, Texas.
PB at BON said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:33 pm
You can’t play Texas’ WRs that way. Rice is between a rock and a hard place, obviously, but the better bet is to play us like UCF did. Cover-2 all the way, see if you can make us stumble over ourselves with the running game.
Macanudo said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:33 pm
Triple Horns, shhhh.
jimmyjazz said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:33 pm
Clearly, you guys don’t remember when Mack and Greg conceived a gameplan against Okie State where Kenny Hayter ran wild, and then benched his ass for insuborinance for the rest of the year.
HornsHornsHorns said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:33 pm
Sorry.
jimmyjazz said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:34 pm
Insub something, anyway.
jimmyjazz said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:35 pm
Is this a chat, or are we just supposed to focus on Scipio’s comments? Because frankly, “Iron Eyes Cody” is the best pop culture reference I’ve seen in years.
HornsHornsHorns said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:36 pm
3 elder LBs in. First down Rice.
PB at BON said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:38 pm
The Brandon Foster injury is such a blessing. Notice how Beasley is improving with reps? Weird, huh?
PB at BON said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:38 pm
Lamarr Houston is your father. Also mine.
jimmyjazz said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:38 pm
I hope Clement still has teeth. Jesus.
jimmyjazz said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:43 pm
Rice is making Jamaal look like Ricky.
Macanudo said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:43 pm
Rice, it’s not just for sake anymore.
PB at BON said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:43 pm
Jamaal Charles reminds me of Emmitt Smith.
jimmyjazz said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:47 pm
Spewage.
PB at BON said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:48 pm
Lamarr Houston is going bonkers.
Macanudo said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:49 pm
Muck with the pick. Nice knowing you Robert Killebrew.
HornsHornsHorns said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:50 pm
This is officially silly.
jimmyjazz said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:50 pm
This is getting ugly. Put the young guys in, except at LB.
Macanudo said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:51 pm
The old guys shouldn’t play at LB until the 4th qtr.
jimmyjazz said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:51 pm
I’ll bet every one of you my kid’s allowance that Kill, Bobino, and Derry start next week.
jimmyjazz said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:52 pm
Steve Breaston with a nice return.
Colby said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:53 pm
Why doesn’t Chance Mock have a wikipedia entry – what? Oh shit, I’m sorry. I’m in London clicking the refresh button every 20s – that’s how I get to watch the game – and I do get distracted.
HornsHornsHorns said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:53 pm
Roughing. Bobino. Lovely.
HornsHornsHorns said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:54 pm
Nathan Basher was allsome at Texas.
PB at BON said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:54 pm
Who was the penalty on? Please tell me it was a veteran LB or Brandon Foster playing one snap.
jimmyjazz said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:54 pm
I kept track of a UT game in London via the old 360 website once. It was actually more informative than the average Fox broadcast.
kevwun said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:54 pm
I like the route where Limas outruns Rice’s entire secondary.
jimmyjazz said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:55 pm
Scipio’s taking a shit.
jimmyjazz said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:55 pm
Aw, damn.
SizzleChest said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 5:21 pm
Kindle out for the rest of the game.
HornsHornsHorns said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 5:27 pm
I think Casey Dick is worse than Drew Weatherford.
Macanudo said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 5:33 pm
And that concludes the scoring portion of our broadcast. We will now resort to Matt McCoy at QB and Henry Melton at WR.
TerzaghiTime said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 5:34 pm
Whatever happened to the “Home of the Guttenberg Bible and a steer named Bevo” commercial?
HornsHornsHorns said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 5:39 pm
“Robert just continues to play good and lead this team.”
False.
TerzaghiTime said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 5:40 pm
Killabrew is a chef? Whodathunkit?
SizzleChest said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 5:40 pm
Yes, I knew Steve Guttenberg was a god.
Earp said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 5:41 pm
He has a chef show on Mack’s website.
PB at BON said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 5:41 pm
Aaron Lewis continues to play solid football. I keep waiting for him to Derry out, but he’s a solid player.
jimmyjazz said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 5:48 pm
Chiles would be fun on the Autobahn.
PB at BON said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 5:49 pm
No. Chiles wouldn’t be useful in the red zone. Nope. Save him for mop up duty.
HornsHornsHorns said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 5:49 pm
The Chiles/McGee combo is salty.
PB at BON said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 5:51 pm
I have an erection.
kchorn04 said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 5:54 pm
The announcer comparing VY/Chiles:
“He’s big, he’s strong, (in-head: Don’t say black, don’t say black!), he’s not as tall as Vince Young.”
jimmyjazz said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 5:55 pm
Brown whiffs on Will Farrell, chases him down from behind. Good job.
jimmyjazz said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 5:57 pm
Can one of you program some sort of auto-bot that tries to purchase 9 million boxes of Wheat Thins from Overstock.com?
jimmyjazz said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 5:58 pm
Vondrell McGee sucks. What a horrible, horrible excuse for a college football player.
HornsHornsHorns said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 6:00 pm
Optimus Prime could probably buy a lot of cereal.
jimmyjazz said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 6:00 pm
Chiles sucks too. We are doomed.
jimmyjazz said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 6:01 pm
SEE, VONR3LL GOT RUNNED DOWN FROM BEHIND TH3 LOOSER.
HornsHornsHorns said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 6:12 pm
Jared Norton just took a life.
TerzaghiTime said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 6:13 pm
I’m not sure the brainiacs from Rice are smart enough to properly secure their helmets.
kchorn04 said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 6:27 pm
I keep expecting John Shepard to start crying after each sack and say “You shit on my house, man!”
jimmyjazz said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 6:28 pm
Crap.
jimmyjazz said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 6:29 pm
HEY! A commercial featuring Emerson, Lake, and Palmer music!
jimmyjazz said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 6:32 pm
Don’t knock swimming pools. You can score a pretty nice poolside apartment these days, if you shop wisely.
jimmyjazz said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 6:35 pm
Sherrod Harris enters the game in a wheelchair.
jimmyjazz said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 6:39 pm
Fire Mack Brown.
SizzleChest said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 6:43 pm
Matt Nader’s back is on his cock.
hopefulhorn said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 7:08 pm
Liked our all-freshman zone read offense a lot in the 4th quarter. I have seen the future and it looks, well, a lot like 2003.
CallKevin said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 7:57 pm
“I think I’m one of the few Longhorn fans on the planet who doesn’t like him at PR. He’s not an explosive guy. ”
I agree completely. I’d rather see someone else back there, but Mack’s pretty sold on Quan’s hands. I’m also thrown by how many fair catches Quan takes inside the 15.
ATX HornsFan said:
September 23rd, 2007 at 2:57 am
Great work. Just read the whole blog…
gotta figure out a way to get this at the stadium
Iron Eyes Cody said:
September 23rd, 2007 at 5:23 am
Don’t fuck with me.
Doperbo said:
September 23rd, 2007 at 5:53 am
“Hey, the QB is named Chase. What do you expect to happen?”
Your name jealousy knows no bounds.
Scipio Tex said:
September 23rd, 2007 at 9:56 am
Run! Jump! Chase!
DrJHorn said:
September 23rd, 2007 at 4:42 pm
We are far more likely to see Chase lounge.
Excellent liveblog. Should be required reading, along with the recap.
PatronSaint said:
September 24th, 2007 at 7:34 am
C-ration.