Football Articles
Texas Football: UCF Post-Mortem
Posted by Scipio Tex on September 17th, 2007 under Football
We’re 3-0, haters.
I’m told that UCF was a trap game, which is current Mack Brown speak for any game on our schedule that is not Oklahoma or Texas A&M, features something as exotic as a road trip, and assumes that we were looking past UCF in anticipation of our grudge match with Jess Neely’s Rice Owls. If an overrated team falls in the polls and there’s no one there to listen, does it even make a sound? The enlightened answer to that Zen koan is a solemn Mack Brown clap.
Throw it deep, Grasshopper.
Ah, but are we shittier than Wisconsin?
Year 2 PVY (Post Vince Young) is looking a hell of a lot like the post-Apocalyptic landscape of a Mad Max movie; Rashad Bobino forming a tandem with Derek Lokey that looks eerily like Master Blaster. I’ve long held that we should mount Ryan Palmer on Bobino so that he can jockey him to the proper gap with a riding crop, but my pleas to Bill Little’s worldwide intraweb box have gone unheeded.
Faster, Rashad!
Offense:
The Hunt N Peck offense is in full death rattle and after three games against an aggregate of thoroughly mediocre pass defense, our aerial game has demonstrated the explosiveness of a Rice Krispy. The move from the zone read (absent a rushing threat at QB) has been tragic for our rushing offense – though the sublime Jamaal Charles has been like a well-tailored suit disguising a classless fat fuck; no, what has been shocking is the degree to which it has stymied our passing game. We have no credible threat for play action and, as such, we have no deep passing game since play action is the only way the Greg Davis passing game creates downfield progression. Against UCF, Colt was 32 of 47 for 259 yards – demonstrating that Woody Hayes’ revolutionary creative philosophies can be adapted to the passing game.
Our passing statistics read like an indictment for the capital offense of the derivative and staid. We currently average around 9 yards per completion. If you’ll recall, a junior Vince Young averaged over 9 yards per attempt in ‘05. Greg Davis continues to demonstrate minimal understanding of opportunity cost – we have a “conservative” passing offense, yet we’ve yielded 5 interceptions in 118 attempts – a horrendous percentage. That opposing DB’s and LB’s have dropped another 5 balls that have hit them in the hands offers little solace. Our two yard routes are getting jumped like a black giggolo in Vidor who just screamed,”Where da white women at?” Our top pass catchers (Jones, Cosby, Finley) average less than 10 yards per reception; Quan Cosby averaging a comical 7 yards per catch. In short, we’re running Texas Tech’s offense but without the execution, creativity, and counters naturally built into Mike Leach’s passing game. Every team we’ve played has run an identical pass defense against us, save for the first quarter of Arkansas St. Coincidence, I think.
UCF played us in a loose nickel, two safeties back, and conceded meager gains, knowing that our inability to deliver the ball to a WR on the run with his shoulder’s square in the short passing game makes their open field tackle fait accompli. A true screen game is non-existent and our tunnel screen is easily scouted. Crossing routes are as absent from our O as dreidel’s at a Klan rally. If you don’t recognize this offense, throw in some game tape from 1999 against any opponent with a real defense. You’ll get it. What’s most disappointing about the UCF game was in how we continued to throw zero yard horizontal routes even as UCF’s DBs began to jump the route at the snap of the ball. Colt isn’t throwing these passes off of an audible where the opposing DB is giving a ten yard cushion. Rather, he is making a pre-determined throw irrespective of the coverage he sees – a call that comes from the booth, not Colt’s head. This is idiocy. Calling a play that’s “conservative” (that isn’t) hoping that the athlete “can make something happen” (when Percy Harvin couldn’t).
It’s offensive coordination by Magic Eight Ball.
All signs point to a yard gain.
Colt is already being criticized for a sophomore slump. Really? Is that why almost every meaningful pass play we’ve had this year was a result of some improvisation or pocket breakdown and a WR turning up their route? Look deeper, friends. A play called with a probable upside of 2 yards doesn’t set you up for a sophomore explosion.
Against UCF, our running game was explosive feast or grating famine. Still bizarre schematically at times, we had a couple of tweaks here that pleased me: particularly the little delay counter that cuts against the grain. Though famine predominated, feast made appearances of 46, 28 & 27 yards. JC’s remaining famine carries went 19 for 52. He’s a special runner. At times, we run some pretty “special” schemes. I’ll leave it at that.
Dallas Griffin is a great kid with some strength issues. Any UCF DT shaded on him had a 20% chance of a TFL or a QB pressure. None of our OL get a great deal of push at the point of attack save Dockery, but this is as much a scheme issue as Mad Dog’s doing. I think it’s both, actually. Most of our really strong players in the line came here strong. See Casey Hampton, Derek Lokey, Justin Blalock.
Defense:
Duane Akina is Bull Reese with a cool moustache. To put it succinctly: he overblitzes. We’re easier to screen than a nine foot mosquito. To the casual fan, blitzing is just about the bestest thing a defense can do since they associate it with aggressiveness and trying to “do something.” This is dogshit. I’m not opposed to blitzing conceptually, but we continue to disguise our blitzes as effectively as Tom Hanks in Bosom Buddies and the personnel we have running them are a step late and a dollar short. Actually, just short in general.
The DT’s were outstanding, which is odd to contend when you give up 32 points, but the TFLs, hits on QB, and UCF’s complete lack of production when any DT playside was single blocked is testament to their effort. As well as Lokey and Okam played, I’ll give a game ball to Roy Miller. He made several crucial plays for us. The DE’s were solid – particularly Aaron Lewis – but have you noticed that they’re now playing run almost exclusively to protect the LB corps? That means they don’t take a hard rush on anything outside of 3rd and 14. That means we don’t pressure the QB on 2nd and long and that we’re continuing to rob Peter to play Paul – or is it robbing Lewis to pay Killebrew? I forget.
Our staff forgot too. After turning the tide in the TCU game, our young LB’s were placed into a witness protection program. Try to get a good scouting report on us now, Rice. When they were inserted, Muckelroy drew a senseless 15 yard personal foul having learned this demonstrates “senior leadership” and Jared Norton was benched after one second half series in which he made three consecutive tackles and injured a UCF player. Norton’s audacity in showing up his elders was promptly punished and I hope we don’t see his disrespectful ass on the field again for the rest of the year. During the game, Scott Derry scratched several calculus formulas into the grass with his cleats which Dallas Griffin then solved on the ensuing possession. They both slapped their heads and exchanged knowing glances when Mack went for two on our last touchdown. When you have a coordinator that don’t understand opportunity cost, it stands to reason the head coach doesn’t get probability theory. Blaise Pascal does not live in an orange house.
You don’t roll the dice for eight when seven will do
The DB’s were better in the sense that UCF had minimal productivity in the passing game and Brandon Foster scored a defensive touchdown. They were not better in the sense that the UCF QB threw like Daniel Day Lewis in My Left Foot after taking some hard hits late in the first quarter. Foster was suspect in run support on several occasions; Palmer was not. Some guys look to be blocked in the run game or make a dramatic dive at someone’s legs so they don’t have to take on a physical ball carrier – sometimes Foster is that guy.
As an overall defense, I’ll place our odds at being manhandled against OU somewhere between the probability of Enrique Iglesias being able to get laid at a Uruguayan orgy and Doperbo’s dog licking his balls sometime in the next 72 hours.
I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention Ryan Bailey. The former walk-on kicked 5 field goals – 2 from 40+ – and his five field goals tied a school record held by Jeff Ward and Kris Stockton. Nicely done, Ryan.
So where are we? 3-0. I guess we’ll go 5-3 or 6-2 in the Big 12; 4-4 if we experience some horrid luck.
Where are we as a program? 1999ish. Check that: 2000ish.
When will we become truly relevant again? When our latest cycle of DB’s and OL from the last two classes mature, paired with a game changer at QB, preferably one with wheels and a proclivity to zone read.
What should we do in the meanwhile? Enjoy San Diego.
We have a staff of yes-men. Their staff meetings probably have all of the creative tension of a Sue Grafton novel. C is for Complacency. Whether in finally taking off Akina’s training wheels as DC with the babysitter of an elderly MacDuff comfort hire or the complicit silence of Mac MacWhorter running the OL schemes that Greg Davis hands him (show me another college offense that will attempt to reach block a 2 technique with the backside OT) this is a staff that proves that Mack is a CEO coach and they’re the perpetually nodding middle managers who can’t wait to dial in ten wins and hit the golf course.
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HenryJames wrote a new blog post: Ty Warren doesn’t understand economics 16 seconds ago
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Magnificent Bastard commented on the blog post Now THAT’S Taking One For The Team 36 minutes ago
After the Aggie nut squeeze, when youtube decides which clips should most appropriately follow, there’s a whole lot of gayness.
Pope is a giant douche, but Bobby Gonzalez seems like a nice enough guy.
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ursa major wrote a new blog post: Baylor v. Sam Houston State Preview 5 hours, 35 minutes ago
If we can get past the statue alive, we have a chance…
(Sorry to Barking Carnival for stealing their meme.)
About the Bearkats
I will not waste your time extolling the various pros and cons of our team. Let’s learn a little bit about Sam Houston State.Seriously, who the #$@ spells Bearkats with a k? According to Wikipedia,
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Scipio Tex commented on the blog post Place Your Bets, Gentlemens 6 hours, 38 minutes ago
explain…
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Scipio Tex commented on the blog post Now THAT’S Taking One For The Team 6 hours, 53 minutes ago
He played for New Mexico State.
We recruited him briefly, along with Louisville, Pitt and a host of others. Everyone ran when they realized he was a lunatic.
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Scipio Tex commented on the blog post Now THAT’S Taking One For The Team 6 hours, 53 minutes ago
He played for New Mexico State.
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Jorgrama commented on the blog post Bracket Breakdown & Gambling Tips 6 hours, 56 minutes ago
Had some harsh words about Barnes in that podcast, that’s for sure. . . .
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dick commented on the blog post Now THAT’S Taking One For The Team 6 hours, 59 minutes ago
Didn’t we think we target him at one point?
He’s a good player, imagine UNM with him on their #3 seed roster.
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Here we are, my favorite weekend of the year. I’ve taken sick days on the first two days of the tourney every year except my first and this year is no different (i’m feverish, which is true). My one goal for the gambling season (August thru first weekend of April) is to have enough money to bet on every
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Scipio Tex commented on the blog post Now THAT’S Taking One For The Team 7 hours, 31 minutes ago
Pope was a real head case recruit, if I recall correctly.
Shot four times in high school too.
Transferred to the Hall from New Mexico St after all of the Big Schools gave him the cold shoulder for his recruiting antics.
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Scipio Tex wrote a new blog post: Place Your Bets, Gentlemens 7 hours, 38 minutes ago
First, if you’re not reading Fading Las Vegas or March to March, you’re missing out on the best college basketball prognostication available in the free market. The vast bulk of Kevin Berger’s basketball writing is going to be found there, so click accordingly.
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admin commented on the blog post Final Four Prediction 8 hours, 30 minutes ago
Baylor scares me. They have no idea what the bright lights feel like.
Huggins also has a horrible history with high seeds from his days at Cincy.
Bingo.
Bingo.
Yet Gary Williams has a ring. Maybe this is Huggy’s year and maybe Scott Drew can get laid in a morgue. Love to see what Huggy could have
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admin commented on the blog post Final Four Prediction 8 hours, 30 minutes ago
Baylor scares me. They have no idea what the bright lights feel like.
Huggins also has a horrible history with high seeds from his days at Cincy.
Bingo.
Bingo.
Yet Gary Williams has a ring. Maybe this is Huggy’s year and maybe Scott Drew can get laid in a morgue.
I have these guys in my bracket. DEEP.
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dick commented on the blog post Early NCAA Tournament Bets 8 hours, 41 minutes ago
Travis,
63-58 on KenPom for 121. That’s still a really low scoring game
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Scipio Tex commented on the blog post Bracket Breakdown & Gambling Tips 9 hours, 21 minutes ago
Thanks, dick. Interesting perspective.
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dick commented on the blog post The Definitive Bracket: 63 Guaranteed Winners! 9 hours, 44 minutes ago
KB,
You are going to be too smart for your own good. A common fault amongst Bracket makers. There’s a reason why the 55 year old admins win 80% of these things every year.
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dick commented on the blog post Bracket Breakdown & Gambling Tips 9 hours, 48 minutes ago
“which impresses me since I know he didn’t hear the podcast.”
You shouldn’t be, after reading both guys over the past year, KB knows more about basketball and gambling than Millman does and it’s not even close.
A little warning about Chad Millman. I was pretty excited when I heard that ESPN hired a
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I’m going to need a moment to admire that sentence…….
OK, I’m good.
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dick commented on the blog post Early NCAA Tournament Bets 10 hours, 30 minutes ago
I’ll post all of my first day games tonight.
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Aggie Corp with “Squeeze Army?”
POSERS
Texas Tech forward Darko Cohadarevic doesn’t just talk the talk — he walks the walk.
Tuesday night Tech faced Seton Hall in a first round NIT contest. With the game tied at 10, Seton Hall forward Herb Pope delivered two below-the-belt blows to Cohadarevic.
After Pope was ejected, Tech went on
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Kevin Berger commented on the blog post Bracket Breakdown & Gambling Tips 14 hours, 33 minutes ago
Louisville has a great chance if Jerry Smith is healthy.
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Kevin Berger commented on the blog post Final Four Prediction 14 hours, 35 minutes ago
Good team that took number 1 seeded Louisville to the wire in last year’s tournament. Start 3 seniors and two juniors, very athletic. Solid pass first point guard. Their leading scorer was player of the year in the conference.
Good club that plays multiple defenses.
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ghostofagroundgame commented on the blog post Bracket Breakdown & Gambling Tips 14 hours, 59 minutes ago
I just took Baylor going to the Elite 8. It’s a crazy mixed up world we live in.
Is it just me, or does it pain anyone else to not be able to determine who is going to beat Duke early? It’s bound to happen, but who will it be?
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Art Vandelay commented on the blog post Final Four Prediction 15 hours, 2 minutes ago
By “we” I meant the Horns. Kevin, why should I take Siena over A&M?
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Kevin Berger commented on the blog post Bracket Breakdown & Gambling Tips 15 hours, 16 minutes ago
colorado ag, Utah State is as athletic as Nebraska. You’ll be fine as long as they don’t go 16 for 31 from three.
Siena, on the other hand, is going to beat you like you stole something. Maybe not, but the Saints should win.
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Kevin Berger commented on the blog post Bracket Breakdown & Gambling Tips 15 hours, 19 minutes ago
Great article Scipio. Also, thanks for the dime.
Looking at the Tournament futures market, Vegas is telling us what they think about Onuaku’s health. The Orangemen have the easiest region and road to the fianl four, yet they’re +700 to win it all, while UK and Kansas, teams with much tougher roads, are +250
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Art Vandelay commented on the blog post Final Four Prediction 15 hours, 24 minutes ago
My brackets are pretty much locked down except the South. Can’t get myself to take Baylor, and Duke doesn’t feel right. Nobody seems to be high on Nova. It’s all about the Big East and Big 12 this year.
It’s a crying shame we suck so bad. We are in a good
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James commented on the blog post Bracket Breakdown & Gambling Tips 15 hours, 35 minutes ago
Scip, like a peaceful Indian in the 1800’s, I never trust a Mormon that can shoot. Utah State has me worried.
If we escape the first weekend, things get very interesting with a potential Sweet 16 match-up with Duke. Ugly up the game and guard like hell on the perimeter in front of a
UTexasfootball said:
September 17th, 2007 at 2:34 pm
Classic. Damn, that’s one fun read—shame you ain’t a coach so I could justify believing my own lying eyes. Thankee Scip
Squirrel said:
September 17th, 2007 at 2:48 pm
This is f’n hilarious. Well done, ST.
A little to racey for the Nation CLubhouse, but I’m gonna get some of y’all’s stuff in there!
SushiHorn said:
September 17th, 2007 at 3:14 pm
I cried, I laughed, I cried some more once it hit that this was serious commentary and not satire.
Musburger said:
September 17th, 2007 at 3:14 pm
I sure hope Mack Brown doesn’t read this; I’d hate to think he might resign because of ungrateful fans. He’s done so much for the program; nine win seasons, new facilities, good kids who graduate…strike the last item.
If Brown were to quit, Texas football precipitously collapses. Nobody else could ever hope to accomplish what he has at Texas.
Brown is a great recruiter. Who else could get the best players in the State to come to a dump like Austin? Three million dollars and he’s worth every penny. The day he leaves Texas goes 5-6 every year.
You questioned the decision to go for 2 when the team was up by 11. Are you a coach? Who are you to question Mack Brown? He had his reasons. If you had a bad knee and mean people critiqued every decision you made you’d probably forget to send the kicker out too.
You scoff at Greg Davis passing game. Greg Davis coached on the staff of the PNG Indians when they won a state title in the mid 70’s. I think that says it all. How many state championships have you won? None? That’s what I thought. Applewhite, Simms, and Vince Young all think he’s great. They wouldn’t lie would they? Would they?
Don’t answer that.
53 Veer Pass said:
September 17th, 2007 at 4:07 pm
Please go over to Orangebloods and slap echeese down. I’ll pay for your subscription.
NavyHorn16 said:
September 17th, 2007 at 4:16 pm
Great stuff. It is as honest as it is funny.
Erick said:
September 17th, 2007 at 4:23 pm
What utter drivel. So how many staff meetings have you attended? Also, pray tell, what coaching postions will you be applying for after this season?
53 Veer Pass said:
September 17th, 2007 at 4:37 pm
Translation: I like mediocrity
Woody Bombay said:
September 17th, 2007 at 4:38 pm
(Gasp!) Erick, noooo!
He don’ know nothin’, guys! He’s justa dumb mug! Leave da kid alone, I’m beggin’ ya!
McLovin said:
September 17th, 2007 at 4:44 pm
Erick = echeese. Both start with ‘e’, include a ‘c’ and they have nearly the same number of letters. Coincidence? I think not.
bclarke said:
September 17th, 2007 at 4:52 pm
I don’t know why more people don’t talk about Bosom Buddies. I wonder why Tom Hanks made it and Peter Scolari didn’t, you know?
You forgot to mention that Ryan Bailey is from Anderson HS, and they are also 3-0. A little better coached, though.
bartoncreek said:
September 17th, 2007 at 5:10 pm
I certainly don’t have the talent to put into words what I am thinking. That is what you are for. Well done. Your take on Foster and Palmer is dead on.
It will be good to see Kindle standing on the sidelines next to Muck and Norton this week. They should get to play Oct. 13th, if you know what I mean. It is going to make me vomit at the Oct. 8th press conference to hear that we are going to replace our 3 starting LBs with their backups. Five weeks too fucking late.
13evO said:
September 17th, 2007 at 5:16 pm
This is the scariest read since Stephen King.
McLovin said:
September 17th, 2007 at 5:32 pm
“Ryan Bailey is from Anderson HS” is already qualified for the “Sydmill Harris speaks 5 languages” Hall of Fame.
He’s a walk-on, in case no one mentioned it. And his Mom likes sports bars in NYC.
Levander Williams said:
September 17th, 2007 at 6:08 pm
Outstanding post with a great finish.
Keep it coming.
Macanudo said:
September 17th, 2007 at 6:12 pm
Shut your mouth about Peter Scolari. Dude went on to star in Newhart and Honey I Shrunk The Kids: The TV Show. And none of that holds a candle to his star turning appearance in the Father Dowling Mysteries.
beowulf said:
September 17th, 2007 at 6:13 pm
The best things in life are free. But this shouldn’t be. I pay a silly amount of money for all, I mean all, the Longhorn sites, emails, magazines, etc. This tops them all
I’ve told you before, Scipio, that you should be making money off this talent.
Thanks for a fun, funny, and brutally honest read and assessment. I don’t agree 100% with all of it, but it’s a bit mindless to nitpick such stout work.
CrazyJoeDavola said:
September 17th, 2007 at 7:10 pm
“Blaise Pascal does not live in an orange house.”
Nice callback to the GoBig12 days. And the Blaise Pascal reference reminds me of when there was so much anticipation of us opening the Florida pipeline with none other than James Buchanan. Because I think Pascal was also a fullback, right?
mileslong said:
September 17th, 2007 at 10:50 pm
i personally can’t wait until after the upcoming OU debacle to see what new plays that GD will borrow from stoops this year. i hope its some crossing routes but instead it will probably be some new form of pooch punt from colt mccoy next time we enter the red zone…
Tommy Smith said:
September 18th, 2007 at 2:10 am
“During the game, Scott Derry scratched several calculus formulas into the grass with his cleats which Dallas Griffin then solved on the ensuing possession”
That is really, really good!
I look forward to these more than any other wrap up of the games.
DigglerontheHoof said:
September 18th, 2007 at 3:13 am
A+ for content and delivery.
The 1999 comparison is frightening and (I fear) 100% accurate.
Back on the Hotseat said:
September 18th, 2007 at 4:03 am
It’s only going to get worse
Opie Wan said:
September 18th, 2007 at 4:49 am
If you watched the 3rd quarter and honestly thought our defensive ends were doing a good job…. I’d like a definition of “good defensive end play.” I loved the article though. Very entertaining.
M786 said:
September 18th, 2007 at 4:58 am
this team is better than 1999 since it has a better QB, RB and WRs. Texas will beat NU but lose to KSU, Aggie and OU, maybe 1 more upset.
any complaints on Colt are very off base since he is already better than Major ever was.
RLS said:
September 18th, 2007 at 5:01 am
Extremely well done. I don’t agree with a lot of what you said but it was too well written for me to care.
kchorn04 said:
September 18th, 2007 at 6:13 am
If we run the same play 40 times, no opposing coach will think anyone would run it again. And that is when we strike for 4 additional yards. It is genious that we will never comprehend until after his our OC has expired from this world. Like Carrot Top. Trust me, Chairman of the Board isn’t funny now. But it will be.
Jeff said:
September 18th, 2007 at 6:49 am
“What utter drivel. So how many staff meetings have you attended? Also, pray tell, what coaching postions will you be applying for after this season?”
“Hey, dumbass, are you a freaking doctor”?
You’re right, that gaping head wound is probably nothing to worry about – excuse my temerity in showing concern. Carry on.
J.R.69 said:
September 18th, 2007 at 7:46 am
I’m impressed by your oh-so-eloquently understated review of the UCF game. With the exception of VY’s last 1 1/2 years, this type of playing has happened over and over and over, and will continue to happen over and over and over until, ahem, changes are made.
Like I said in an earlier post, it’s like wiping your ass with a wagon wheel–there’s no end to it!
gratefulRed said:
September 18th, 2007 at 9:08 am
I hate to find pleasure in the suffering of others….but as a Sooner fan, that was great as usual. Nice work.
M786 said:
September 18th, 2007 at 2:18 pm
btw, there are no special hidden plays to be unwhaled by GD for OU.
WentToKSU but dont Hold it against mE said:
September 19th, 2007 at 10:25 am
Tex,
on a serious note what the hell is wrong with Colt McCoy. Seems different ever since he went out during Gay State game?? Your thoughts
WhoooTex said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 10:28 am
“You’re right, that gaping head wound is probably nothing to worry about – excuse my temerity in showing concern. Carry on.”
Look, you’re not a doctor, so shut up and take this roll of duct tape. It’ll fix you up nicely.
mizner park said:
February 23rd, 2010 at 3:31 pm
This type of wealth disparity in this country is ridiculous and a hazard to a functioning democracy and free market. The $20.3 billion paid out as bonuses on Wall Street could support over a quarter-million good-paying middle class jobs. I truly believe the best way to prevent socialist tendencies in government is to prevent the accumulation of extreme wealth amongst the elite. Supply-side economics doesn’t need to rely on the top-income earners to invest if there is a healthy middle class. It seemed that America functioned just fine (likely better) when the income disparity was much lower.