Football Articles
Barking Carnival’s OU Football State of the Union
Posted by HenryJames on August 15th, 2007 under Football
Sooner fans were anxious last year after watching the team lose to Texas two straight years, but Bob Stoops took the heat off himself by winning the Big 12 Championship and buying each resident of the state a carton of Newport menthols. But there are still chinks in Stoops’ armor and hispanics in his backfield.
OU’s quarterback play has been average at best the past two seasons, and this year will be no different as there is an embarrassment of wretches at the position. Joey Halzle, Sam Bradford and Keith Nichol will all be competing in the ‘Which OU starting QB sucked more than Nate Hybl?’ contest. The winner gets to pass for 2,000 yards and 15 tds. The loser gets to hold a clipboard and grin nervously as Stoops and OC Kevin Wilson pistol whip the starter after his 2nd interception against Miami.
Stoops on his QBs: “I expect them to do as well as the McCoy kid did at Texas last season.”
Most predicted doom for OU last year after Adrian Peterson was injured while cashing a payckeck for a job he didn’t actually work, but they somehow found a couple of decent backs and turned in an above average running game. Only against bad teams mind you. Allen Patrick is a poor man’s Peterson with his straight ahead running style and proneness to injury (he’s currently walking around on crutches). He’ll share carries with Chris Brown and redshirt freshman Demarco Murray. So when Murray rushes for over 100 yards against Utah State, you can look forward to the tv announcer saying ‘Stoops discovered him playing a pickup basketball game!’ When Texas holds him to 50, the announcer will deadpan that ‘Bob Stoops is no Ken Howard.’
Stoops on his running backs: “All of them are better than Adrian Peterson.”
Malcom Kelly is a great player even though he did fold like origami after Michael Griffin hit him in last year’s Texas game. He’ll likely see more double teams than Jenna Jameson after her high school prom. Starting alongside him will a couple of guys who will be good for 10 yards per catch and 4 touchdowns.
Stoops on his receivers: “Every one of them is better than Jerry Rice.”
Joe Jon Baker Finley is back for his 7th year in the program after spending the first six doing exactly squat. Sophomore Jermaine Gresham is a potential star who will remind Sooner fans of Keith Jackson. Especially when he catches 10 balls next year.
Stoops on his tight ends: “If you offered me my pick of any tight end in the NFL Hall of Fame, I’d still take what we have on our roster.”
Offensive line is always my favorite part of the Sooners’ team. Looking at their past signing classes is like watching Cooley High’s closing credits. “Randy McAdams is married and selling cars in Leander, Texas. Chad Roark died in Vietnam.” The combination of Kevin Wilson and S&C coach Jerry Schmidt make fall practice a pigskin version of the Bataan Death March that climaxes when Wilson drops a boulder on whichever freshman is holding the conch during team meetings.
You might think that the players who survived such brutality would be as a result tougher and stronger than their opponents. But then you’d have to explain Chris Messner. So let’s take a look at this year’s survivors.
Lots of injuries in this group. The RT and RG both missed games last year due to injury as did both backup tackles. The center has missed time the last two years because of injuries. The new LT is a 6′8″ 350 lb JUCO transfer.
Stoops on his offensive line: “Russ Grimm and Joe Jacoby in their primes would not crack our two deep.”
Getting pressure from the front four is crucial to OU’s defensive scheme. When they get pressure, guys like Andre Woolfolk get picked in the 1st Round. When they don’t, guys like Greg Porter catch long touchdown passes.
This will be the worst group of defensive ends since Stoops’ first couple of years. The two starting seniors, John Williams and Alonzo Dotson, have combined for 19 career tackles and 3 sacks. They are backed up by some white dude who played AA football in Texas and doesn’t have any career tackles. Depth will have to come from undersized freshmen that OU managed to pry away from no one important.
OU wants their defensive tackles to keep the offensive linemen from getting to their linebackers. Pretty easy to do if you’re Tommie Harris or Dusty Dvoracek. Not so easy when you’re Corey Bennett or Steve Coleman. There is talent at the other spot though. Sophomore Demarcus Granger, who picked OU over a host of Ivy League schools, and redshirt freshman Gerald McCoy are potentially both big time players. If they become great sooner than later, OU should be very good at DT.
Stoops on his defensive line: “They make the Fearsome Foursome look like a bunch of p*ssies.”
The Sooners can always be counted on to find three guys about 6′1″ 230 who can run to put on the field at linebacker. This year is no exception. The starting MLB is JUCO transfer Mike Reed. He’ll be solid against the run and struggle against the pass like all Sooner linebackers.
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“Remember when Norm Chow isolated Steve Smith on Lance Mitchell in the Orange Bowl? That was awesome.”
Special teams standout Curtis Lofton will start at WLB, and Lewis Baker will start at SLB. Baker moved from safety in the spring and is undersized. I think Nicole Richie has gained more weight during her pregnancy than Baker has gained in his time in Norman. Senior Demario Pleasant will provide depth if he doesn’t beat Baker out.
Stoops on his linebackers: “Based on this year’s starters alone, we should be called ‘Linebacker U.”
The Sooner’s philosophy for their secondary is ‘Yes, man is an island,’ and they return all four starters from last year. Senior Marcus Walker finally was healthy for a full season last year. This is the guy who dislocated his shoulder signing his national letter of intent and then suffered 2nd degree burns in the Orange Bowl against USC. The other corner will either be junior Reggie Smith, or senior D.J. Wolfe. Smith is good. Wolfe is not. The one who doesn’t start at corner will likely start at one of the safety spots with Nic Harris at the other. If senior Darrien Williams recovers from an off season injury, he will figure in the mix at safety.
Stoops on his secondary: “This group could cover Rashaun Woods.”
After having only lost seven games total between 2000 and 2004, OU has lost 7 games the past two seasons. They enter this season with an average front seven and nothing at quarterback. Normally this is not the stuff that champions are made of, but we’re talking about the Big 12 here. If they can beat both Texas and Texas A&M, they’ll win the conference. If they lose to one or both, they won’t.
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skymonkeyhorn commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest: Post Mortem 52 minutes ago
It is just amazing to me that most posters think that Jordan has improved so much in the last half of the season.
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Offense
Both teams are unselfish and preach sharing the ball. A&M is a balanced scoring team. Sloan showed in the first round against Utah State, for example, that he can defer when his teammates have things going. Purdue once again will have to rely on JaJuan Johnson and E’Twaun Moore to produce, and hope
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Hiphopopotamus commented on the blog post We Have Our Answer 1 hour, 15 minutes ago
And yes, it appears JoPo wrote pretty much the same thing. It’s hard to believe with all the national talking heads, fans, and everyone in between saying otherwise, but I think it’s the only conclusion to draw for anyone that really watched this team.
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Hiphopopotamus commented on the blog post We Have Our Answer 1 hour, 15 minutes ago
And yes, it appears JoPo wrote pretty much the same thing. It’s hard to believe with all the national talking heads, fans, and everyone in between saying otherwise, but I think it’s the only conclusion to draw for anyone that really watched this team.
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Hiphopopotamus wrote a new blog post: We Have Our Answer 1 hour, 17 minutes ago
Normally, after a big win or a crushing defeat, I don’t know what to think, say, or feel, because I can’t. And that what makes this one different; it’s just as painful, but I saw it coming. Instead of getting blindsided by the oncoming traffic, I was able to brace myself for the
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whiskey commented on the blog post The week in news- Pariahs, Malcontents and Power Hour 1 hour, 35 minutes ago
I’m with you the off season is already old. I’m ready for the season to start. NDS I am completely fascinated by the Tech vs. Lech business. I can’t believe they ran off the guy that put them on the map and subsequently ended up with an arguable upgrade in Tubs.
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whiskey commented on the blog post Spring Preview: Tech Offense 1 hour, 40 minutes ago
Ded 9-12 wins is pretty optomistic. I like it. I’m really looking forward to seeing what Tubs can do with them this year especially on D. I’m surprised you think the QB battle between Sticks and Nick will be close. Interesting, I figured Sticks was a runaway. I hope Corndog
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Black Scholes commented on the blog post Texas Hoops vs. Wake Forest: Post Mortem 5 hours, 18 minutes ago
lawdog – on the topic of regression, this crew can’t compare with the senior seasons Thomas and Atchley put up. Something ain’t right in this scenario. Mason topped out his sophomore year and Pittman last year.
Wangmene is ‘Manos de Piedra’ redux, so that was really never going to work out.
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Sailor Ripley commented on the blog post Madness Magic: Northern Iowa Upsets Kansas 8 hours, 28 minutes ago
Just a phenomenal game.
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Kevin Berger wrote a new blog post: Madness Magic: Northern Iowa Upsets Kansas 9 hours, 7 minutes ago
Today reminded me why I love this tournament so much. A good friend of mine mentioned to me that college basketball is the great equalizer of all athletic endeavors. At least of the sports we care about. He’s right.
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Nate Heupel commented on the blog post Because We’re Dedicated To Doing Stupid Things – Tiny Gallon Reportedly Took Payout 9 hours, 11 minutes ago
Patrick,
Unless you’re completely retarded, you know precisely what I meant. The closest any Big 12 team has gotten to winning the infamous Fuller Cup is the 2007 Texas squad. I can’t remember a team being that horribly undisciplined as a whole aside from the insane OU teams of the 80’s. That’s not
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Nate Heupel commented on the blog post Because We’re Dedicated To Doing Stupid Things – Tiny Gallon Reportedly Took Payout 9 hours, 11 minutes ago
Patrick,
Unless you’re completely retarded, you know precisely what I meant. The closest any Big 12 team has gotten to winning the infamous Fulmer Cup is the 2007 Texas squad. I can’t remember a team being that horribly undisciplined as a whole aside from the insane OU teams of the 80’s. That’s not
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Nickel Rover commented on the blog post Barnes worst team 9 hours, 27 minutes ago
I suppose anyone could be your “favorite Longhorn basketball player” but Ford did more than just about anyone…although Durant is clearly better. Ford’s supporting cast was better than Durant’s in his sophomore year. Durant’s had more talent (Augustin, James, Abrams) but Ford’s was more developed (Boddicker, Ivey, Mouton, Thomas) and had worked with him for
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Nickel Rover commented on the blog post Bradley or Hamilton? 9 hours, 34 minutes ago
Crazy Joe, your thoughts intrigue me and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
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Nickel Rover commented on the blog post Bradley or Hamilton? 9 hours, 37 minutes ago
This notion of Hamilton as being a disaster area on defense is all a bit much. He rebounds extremely well which, if it wasn’t obvious, is extremely important in this game since it secures possession of the basketball. Winning in basketball is achieved through the scoring of baskets and it’s necessary to possess the basketball
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Ojnab Bob commented on the blog post Best Opening Round I Can Remember 9 hours, 47 minutes ago
I posted earlier about how Collins’ effort just crippled Kansas today, but what amazed me the most was his complete inability to stay in front of his man on defense. UNI got a LOT of good looks out of penetration/pass after one of UNI’s modestly gifted athletes blew right by Sherron. The best
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Scipio Tex wrote a new blog post: Best Opening Round I Can Remember 10 hours, 59 minutes ago
At least it’s shaping up that way if Sunday delivers.
As disappointed as I was in last year’s opening weekend of March Madness, this one is exceeding all expectations. Putting aside the fact that my bracket now resembles Kabul after the Taliban rolled through in ‘96 – a map of ordered failure –
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J commented on the blog post Bid Dance: Day Three 11 hours, 26 minutes ago
Thanks for the kind words, Trips.
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J commented on the blog post Bid Dance: Day Three 11 hours, 27 minutes ago
You know who’s bitter and angry as fuck? This guy —> ME.
I can only hope our returning players (whoever that may be) remember this and realize they need to play motivated EVERY FUCKING GAME and put forward 40 MINUTES of effort each game.
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Raoul Duke commented on the blog post Rumor Alert–TMG 11 hours, 58 minutes ago
Kid seems like a fantastic collegiate player. I haven’t seen any NBA info. Is he a legit prospect?
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Raoul Duke commented on the blog post Bid Dance: Day Three 12 hours, 5 minutes ago
Tough day for Sherron on O and D.
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GoHornsGo90 commented on the blog post Bradley or Hamilton? 12 hours, 49 minutes ago
To leave or stay?
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Patrick Bateman commented on the blog post NCAA Tournament Open Thread: Weekend Edition 12 hours, 50 minutes ago
KSU moving on led by a hot shooting Pullen. BTW, White Mormons can shoot FTs. 22 for 25, I think. Imagine if we could shoot like that.
Wake’s coming back on Kentucky. They’re within 25 right now…..
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Trips Right commented on the blog post Bid Dance: Day Three 13 hours, 8 minutes ago
Just wanted to say I feel for you guys. As a Texas fan I know how this feels even if it’s from a football perspective.
I still think you’re the best basketball team in the country, and unfortunately you ran into a team that packed a Villanova circa 1985 type game today. Meaning they
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Scipio Tex said:
August 15th, 2007 at 8:39 am
Fun write up. Thanks HJ.
I must confess, after watching the OU spring game, I thought Sam Bradford was the clear choice at QB. He is certainly the equal, if not better, of Paul Thompson and Nate Hybl – both Big 12 Champ QBs in their own right.
I think we tend to overdo QB. It’s certainly the skill position where you most want a special guy, but if he’s surrounded with talent, their tide tends to lift his row boat. Malcolm Kelly going against Ryan Palmer is a throw I could make.
What say you?
HenryJames said:
August 15th, 2007 at 9:58 am
Hybl played on a very talented team, the core of which led OU to consecutive BCS title games. If their QB throws 4 picks against us this year, they’re not going to win by 11.
OU will need more than just one go to guy. Jason White won a Heisman throwing a hot route to Mark Clayton. When LSU took that route away, he wasn’t talented enough to overcome it.
Now if their QB is put in a bunch of 2nd and 3 situations, he’ll probably be alright. Third and 7 will be more telling.
I just don’t see the surrounding talent on this year’s OU team that will allow them to overcome an average quarterback.
ChrisApplewhite said:
August 15th, 2007 at 10:06 am
Everything OU did last year was based on being able to run against a defense that kept both safeties back. Their pass offense consisted of sideline routes and, when the defense squatted on those, deep routes. If you defend both those things, it leaves the running game open, and that’s where the key to beating OU will be. BSU shut down the running game and consequently, shut down OU, at least until the athletic difference took over.
I don’t see the OU offense changing, because they’ll have the same QB talent problem, and we should be good enough to shut down the run.
Scipio Tex said:
August 15th, 2007 at 10:45 am
Yep.
But aren’t your responses laden with assumptions of defensive and offensive schematic competence on our part? As if we’ve demonstrated any history in this matchup of having watched film? I don’t trust Akina as a DC yet (Mack Brown has had three different sets of training wheels on him for a reason) and MacDuff is a semi-unknown quantity in his time away from the college game – he hasn’t put a quality D on the field in well over a decade. I feel OK about him – but I don’t have a great evidentiary basis for doing so.
If you’re writing of OU’s general prospects against the quality teams on their schedule, I’m very much with you. If you’re talking Dallas, I see a Sooner team whose strengths are matched to our weaknesses.
ChrisApplewhite said:
August 15th, 2007 at 10:53 am
Actually, no, they aren’t. Our front seven will out talent the OU running game regardless of what we do. And I don’t think the Goof Troop they’ll be trotting out at QB can hurt us in the air, even if we let them.
I see this matchup in our favor, I really do. Their game isn’t as much about talent as it is about kids executing a simple offense. We’ll be able to cover with zone blitzes while confusing the blocking and the QB with the pressure resulting from said blitzes.
On defense, you weak point will be our OL, and their weak point the DL. We will be able to pass on anyone.
I’m going to pull a DizzG here: “I can’t see how anyone could see this as a bad matchup for us. LOL.”
ChrisApplewhite said:
August 15th, 2007 at 10:53 am
I left out a sentence fragment. I meant that my assumptions are scheme free. Going purely based on talent here.
Scipio Tex said:
August 15th, 2007 at 11:06 am
We’ve had better talent in three of our losses to OU in the Brown era.
ChrisApplewhite said:
August 15th, 2007 at 11:24 am
Raw talent maybe, but not in terms of performance. I think we’ve upgraded our assistant coaches enough since 04 to not have to worry about wasted talent anymore.
JamesJoyce said:
August 16th, 2007 at 3:55 pm
OU’s OL & secondary might be the 2 most over-rated units in the country. Nothing but experienced mediocrity in those groups. Not one single name you scheme around.
I like some recent trends in this series, other than the score… we’ve been more physical, we’ve punished and intimidated, we’ve forced more turnovers, we’ve hit the big play opps when they appear. They’ve frozen and made more mental errors, and they appear unable to question some of the assumptions that won them 5 in a row.
For five straight years Mack took the field, turned, bent over, lifted his skirt and asked Bob to use a condom, but he’s actually relaxed a bit and shown he’s capable of opening things up at times and putting the game in the hands of his players. Not at all times, of course, but…
Chris said:
August 21st, 2007 at 8:52 pm
This is truly laughable, this HJ guy doesn’t even know our starters and claims to know about the ability of our program.
Reed isn’t starting, do your due diligence as a “journalist” or as I like to call it “spin doctor” before running your mouth with such apparent bias. Journalism is impartial, learn that, report facts and don’t make up quotes, its completely unprofessional.
Oh by the way, we’ll see what happens in big D. You whorns won’t be so cheery I am willing to wager.
ChrisApplewhite said:
August 21st, 2007 at 8:54 pm
Yeah you putz, how dare you call yourself a journalist.
Dmonypeny said:
August 21st, 2007 at 9:03 pm
It must be painful seeing OU come out with great teams year in and out. OU has won against Texas they last 5 out of 7 years. I appreciate your review Applewhite but I think I will wait and see the game.
Applewhite, hmmmm, Texas had a QB named applewhite from the Gooftroop. He got washed out for losing to OU too many times. Any relation?
ChrisApplewhite said:
August 21st, 2007 at 9:12 pm
Someone should take away your keyboard.
ChrisApplewhite said:
August 21st, 2007 at 9:15 pm
And no, no relation.
longhornmatt said:
August 21st, 2007 at 9:46 pm
Their defensive line might be a weakness, but I have a feeling our running game is going to be a real weakness. I still like Charles, but the OL is scaring me.
Dallas Griffin is Jason Glynn version 2.0, Ulatoski wasn’t exactly bringing the pain on run plays last year, and Ron Prince could give an apt description of our LG situation. Plus Dockery is coming off knee surgery and we have true freshman all over the two deep. That doesn’t make me feel warm and fuzzy.
However, McWhorter’s groups do pass protect well, so I still like us to win based on our passing game and ou’s penchant for running pass defense schemes endorsed by Gene Chizik. “The deep ball? Why would safeties have to defend against that? DJ Wolfe is all over that shit.”
longhornmatt said:
August 21st, 2007 at 10:02 pm
I can’t believe I didn’t even mention Greg Davis and his lovely running scheme as a reason why our running game will struggle. He must have have had Dexter Manley taking notes for him at that fucking Denver Broncos coaches clinic/fan appreciation day.
OU-Sooner said:
August 22nd, 2007 at 5:34 am
You are a stupid horn who doesn’t know a damn thing about OU and just wants to talk shit along with your stupid buddies. Whats that 5 in a row? Whats that biggest win margin in the series? Whats that? 4 confrence championships in the last 6 years.. yeah thoughts so
MichSooner said:
August 22nd, 2007 at 7:57 am
Laugh now guys. The idiots who wrote this won’t be laughing mid-season……
RobBallgame said:
August 22nd, 2007 at 9:56 am
Fellow Sooners…Hell I found that pretty humerous. No harm no foul as far as I’m concerned. The only thing as humerous is Mr. Applewhite’s analysis OUr squad. Please remember this sir…there will be NO “outtalent-ing” OUr running game by your front 7. You will enjoy meeting Mr’s. Patrick, Brown and Murray this October.
To suggest that OU has no talent and merely “kids executing a simple offense” is laughable. Even the most staunch UT supporter knows that’s a crock. You’d be discussing your game with A&M if that were true.
October is coming soon enough Mr. Applewhite…please make yourself available afterwords.
turk 182 said:
August 23rd, 2007 at 12:38 pm
i would agree that the secondary may be over-rated. They typically are and they typically disapoint (me…at least, you probably love watching their gaping holes).
Rolling safeties back? Over half the season we were facing 9 guys in the box. I agree BSU did a great job (Nebraska not bad either) in shutting down much of the run, but I dont think the o-line is over-rated as suggested.
I guess I just don’t even know what to make of this: “Our front seven will out talent the OU running game regardless of what we do. And I don’t think the Goof Troop they’ll be trotting out at QB can hurt us in the air, even if we let them.”
…what?
It will be interesting. If we can keep our QB from handing the ball to you 4 times, we should be in much better shape. I would prefer to call them take-aways…but I cannot. Those balls thrown by PT should have had ribbons, not laces.
turk 182 said:
August 29th, 2007 at 7:26 am
an f-ing hysterical article though. loved it. not nearly as good as bob’s press conference though.
Meni said:
September 13th, 2007 at 6:37 am
funny read, too bad we’ll kick Texas’ ass
OUhammer said:
September 13th, 2007 at 8:07 am
Especially loved….
“Sophomore Jermaine Gresham is a potential star who will remind Sooner fans of Keith Jackson. Especially when he catches 10 balls next year.”
….thru 2 games, 11 catches. LOL!
Eric said:
September 13th, 2007 at 10:54 am
Even funnier two weeks into the season.
de1916 said:
September 25th, 2007 at 8:35 pm
This is why someone should never write about their rival.
ruck said:
October 9th, 2007 at 1:06 pm
Average front seven? Loadholt is bigger than your mouth. Oh yeah, DeMarco had over 100 on your “average” d-line last weekend. Hell, he had 65 in one run. Oh, and nothing at quarterback is a nice description of McCoy. Nice journalism. You obviously attened UT.
One final thought, the Darrel Royal (whom you named your ugly stadium after) was an All-American running back at OU. Another final thought, Mack Brown learned to coach under Barry Switzer!!!!
God it must suck to be a longhorn fan!
LonghornScott said:
October 9th, 2007 at 1:20 pm
ruck, your website selection is everything I love about Oklahoma fans.
ruck said:
October 9th, 2007 at 1:49 pm
I like dudes.
Colby said:
October 9th, 2007 at 3:40 pm
Yes, ruck. We all ‘attened’ UT here – and you clearly ‘attened’ OU. Barry Switzer fucked his assistant coach’s wife and cried like a pussy on national television (60 minutes, 1995)! Now fuck off to your own shit team’s fuckwit website. Ya dumb okie piece of shit!
Eric said:
August 25th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
WOW.. EVEN MORE funny a year later… hahahaha
ponderos said:
August 25th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
DKR still holds the career INT record (18) at OU. He did that as an All-American DB, not as a running back.
FU ruck for making me Google DKR to double-check.
Jim said:
August 25th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
Henry James doesn’t know *hit about football. Let’s review some of the more memorable assertions he made.
James on OU’s QB situation :OU’s quarterback play has been average at best the past two seasons, and this year will be no different as there is an embarrassment of wretches at the position. Joey Halzle, Sam Bradford and Keith Nichol will all be competing in the ‘Which OU starting QB sucked more than Nate Hybl?’ contest. The winner gets to pass for 2,000 yards and 15 tds. The loser gets to hold a clipboard and grin nervously as Stoops and OC Kevin Wilson pistol whip the starter after his 2nd interception against Miami.
Stoops on his QBs: “I expect them to do as well as the McCoy kid did at Texas last season.” [meant as sarcasm, but came hauntingly true]
James on OU’s OL:Lots of injuries in this group. The RT and RG both missed games last year due to injury as did both backup tackles. The center has missed time the last two years because of injuries. The new LT is a 6′8″ 350 lb JUCO transfer. [that would be NFL 1st round prospect Phil Loadholt]
Stoops on his offensive line: “Russ Grimm and Joe Jacoby in their primes would not crack our two deep.” [again, this came hauntingly true]
On Auston English: some white dude who played AA football in Texas and doesn’t have any career tackles.
LOL
Henry, don’t quit your day job, whatever that is…..
LOL
Serenity Now said:
August 25th, 2008 at 7:23 pm
I love it! It makes me laugh. I think this year’s was funnier. If you can’t laugh at yourself you have no sense of humor. Reminds me of bean bag.